Tell me why I shouldn’t go for a forth…

[TheWitche]

I’m an only child and always wanted 3 to have a big family. I have 3 boys 2, 6 and 8.
As a family we are so lucky, we have the money for them to do lots of activities, they have their own lovely bedrooms and they get mostly everything they desire within reason. They probably are a bit spoilt but I had nothing growing up so probably overcompensating! DH and I work full time but I do condensed days and he does shift work so it works, plus we have family support from grandparents.
I’ve lost weight this year and I’m trying to improve my physical health (and let’s be honest looks). I’m in the best shape since before getting pregnant. I’m finally doing nights out with friends and getting that side of my life back. I’ve sold all the baby stuff so no hand me downs.
We are definitely not rich by any stretch but comfortable.

I finally feel in a place where I’m getting out of the baby stage, I can see the next chapter, my youngest starts nursery school in September so all 3 of them will be in ‘school’.

And as great as it is, I still can’t stop wanting another! Realistically it is sensible to stick at 3, we can give them a good upbringing and financially OK. I’m worried a fourth would massively change things, I don’t want people to feel ‘I’m doing it to get a girl’ and palm the potential boy off as unwanted (which let’s be honest, it will be another boy) BUT I don’t feel like I’m done. Will I always feel like this? How do you know when to stop? Or should I just go for it? 🤣

Wondering how you made your decisions if you have 4/5 etc.

I have 3 DC and would have loved a forth but had several miscarriages including one at 18 weeks. My DC are adults now and I'm a Foster carer. I've brought up from 5 years old a FS who is 17 now. Once he's 18 he will still live with me as he has learning disability. He will always need support. We have enough bedrooms and I'm thinking I might foster another DC in another year or so. DS one people just like nurturing DC. As long as you can financially afford another DC and feel you have enough love to give them I don't see a problem.

*FOURTH

Sorry to point it out...but it's fourth. Like the number four.
The amount of 'forth' on here - different word, different meaning.

Yes I'm being an arsehole but c'mon it's basic.

I’m early 30s, it would also possibly impact my career as I’m in a new field and actually really enjoying it, so another year off work will potentially sabotage any development there for another few years.
I’m really struggling with deciding, I’d say 70% it’s a no but there’s still 30% that pulls me in the baby direction. But do I want a baby or do I want my kids to be babies again? I hear what PP say regarding the age gap and activities more limited for a 9/10 year old with a baby. He’s brilliant with little ones but babies/toddlers rule the roost so it is unfair.
Like I said, I’m an only child so I don’t understand the sibling dynamic in that regard.

Specifically looking for answers from larger families 3+ and I really appreciate your answers. I definitely need to think about what my priorities are and what happens if I don’t get another healthy baby. Why roll the dice again, etc.

We both have good life insurance so mortgage would be paid off and we’d be able to not work for a whole/work PT but yeah a lone parent to 4 kids is a big undertaking. Something to think about too!

Life would definitely be easier sticking with 3, it would be even easier with 2 but I don’t regret my third. I think not having a big family dynamic has skewed me into thinking ‘the grass is greener’ - I desperately wanted a sister and still wish I had one now!

Lots to consider.

Really not arsed that I’ve spelt fourth wrong in my title, it was a typo. I clearly know how to spell but if I was dyslexic why be a dick?