Is having 2 kids harder than you anticipated?

[ellecf21]

Not sure if we are 100% up for another, we will let our instinct decide! Our DD 7mo is amazing, and so far it's been pretty smooth sailing and it feels manageable to have one. There is a lot of familial and societal pressure to have another (it wouldn't be any time soon) and I just wondered how people really felt about going from 1-2?

Not yet. There are 2y 3m between my children. So far it is easier than I was expecting. They are 3yo and 10mo at the moment and the only time having two feels more difficult than having one child is when they are both unwell and both need me simultaneously to do different things - one night when DH was away, youngest had bronchiolitis and was on steroids that he just would not take, and eldest had croup. Eldest was only okay/coughed less when we sat outside in the cold, but I didn't want to keep going out into the cold with baby. Baby was only content (ish) when being walked around, but eldest needed cuddles. That was so hard. I remember sobbing thinking I'd done the worst thing ever to my eldest by having a second child, whilst also wanting both of my children and just wishing they were both only children . The other times they've both been ill have been not great but manageable because DH was also there at night.

I'm SURE that it will get harder as they get older, but having a second child made me chill the fuck out and stop obsessing over every little thing - which made me a better mum and therefore life was easier.

I agree with others saying the hardest transition is none - one. We have a three and a half year age gap, so currently have a five year old boy and a nearly two year old girl. I'd say the hardest thing is the lack of sleep and then still having to parent both kids the next day (we have no help from relatives so it's all on us!) But we love them both dearly and seeing them starting to play together and the bond they're developing is just beautiful. My husband was a bit ambivalent about having a second child and he's now very glad that we did.

I found 2 (2.5 years apart) utterly heavenly. They’re just gorgeous. Ugh. Happy days. It was so simple and lovely and fun.

Now have 3 and it’s relentless at the mo! She is completely divine of course but the older 2 are at school and have hobbies and always bringing home illnesses. Lots of fun too though!

Yes. I find it more difficult than having 1+1 if that makes sense... the two together are harder than the sum of their parts. One at a time and I can meet their needs and we have a great time. Two together and they both need to compromise which leads to a lot of upset. Also can't take my eyes of them just in case one hits the other over a toy etc. BUT it's joyous too. They have lots of happy moments and I'm very glad I get to love another little one as much as I love my eldest.

Yes SO HARD. I had DS1 today all on my own and thought, gosh I forgotten how easy it is to have one child. Pregnant with my third, so didn't stop me. Haha

I love having two now, but yeah chaos will rule for the years when you have a baby and a toddler.
It is great having two though. If they could be delivered to me potty trained well balanced and bonded to us at age three I'd have more.

Two was fine... three on the other hand is mental

I have twins so I went from none to two... it's absolute madness! Definitely no more x

This made me LOL 🤣🤣....but totally get you, especially when it comes to getting out of the house on time!! 🥴🥴

It's a lot lot harder, but totally worth it in my opinion. My son is 4 and my daughter is 6 months and the bond they already have is just so lovely to see.

I think if you want another child, then have one - don't not have one because you're worried about how hard it might be...unless other there are other factors to consider ie MH concerns. Xx

One to two has been much easier than expected so far (6 months in!). DC2 is one of those mythical textbook babies that I didn't think even existed, whereas DC1 was a non sleeping refluxy baby and hard work.

3.5 year age gap and both boys.

No but three’s a challenge.

For me 1 to 2 was easy and 2 to 3 was very hard. Mainly because DC2 was a good sleeper and DC3 was a terrible one!

I have recently had my second, who is four months now. It's been pretty easy to be honest, going from one to two children. However I think this is largely due to the age gap - five and a half years. My eldest isn't jealous, and is genuinely helpful with the baby. It also really helps that she's out of the house five days a week at school! I think of people with smaller age gaps and honestly don't think I'd have coped looking after a baby plus a toddler all day on my own.

In all honesty i found going from 0-1 alot harder than 1-2. I just didn't overthink things with the second one, so much easier but easier baby second time around so that probably helped too!

I found 0-1 SO SO much harder than 1-2. We have a 2.5 year age gap, both boys. DS1 wasn't a great sleeper, DS2 is pretty good. I am just going with the flow, no stress over naps, bedtimes, routine etc and it's been so enjoyable this time. it is hard work definitely and there's less opportunity for time to myself. but I find myself sad that our last baby stages are passing us by, and sort of wishing we could do it again, but I realise I can't just have another baby because I'd like to do the baby stage again!