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Larger families

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Original poster

4 children, crazy to consider a 5th

90 replies

Greggers2017 · 21/10/2019 12:58

I currently have DD12, DSD11, DS10 and baby DD 4 months. She is mine and DP first child together. We only thought we'd have one but now we are coming to the point of her outgrowing things we have decided to pack it away instead of sell. We keep thinking it would be lovely for our youngest child to have a sibling close in age to grow up with. We have also spoken in-depth and would love another. Are we crazy?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PurpleFrames · 21/10/2019 13:00

Your not being unreasonable- good luck!

Original poster

Greggers2017 · 21/10/2019 14:41

Thank you. I know a lot of people can judge larger families. I just feel it would be nice for our youngest as she will grow up like an only child with the others being so
Much older.

OP posts:

MissSmiley · 21/10/2019 16:51

I have five, two singletons and then twins, our youngest was a surprise. It was very hard work when they were young, 7 years between them but now the youngest is nine it's definitely easier. It's just so expensive

MsTSwift · 21/10/2019 16:53

Do you not worry about climate over population etc?

Windydaysuponus · 21/10/2019 16:53

Slippery slope op....
.......

SprinkleDash · 21/10/2019 16:54

I think any more than two is ridiculous considering the state of the planet! 5 is far too many children.

JessicaKenny2018 · 21/10/2019 16:56

We have 5 dd 17, ds 10, dd 5, ds 3 and ds 3 months I wouldn't change it for the world, I say go for it if it's what you want.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 21/10/2019 16:59

Who benefits from a 5th child in your family?

BitchyArriver · 21/10/2019 17:08

Well the youngest current child obviously Joxer as well as the parents

SprinkleDash · 21/10/2019 17:14

There is no guarantee the baby would get on with the other young sibling. They could grow up to hate each other. It’s a ridiculous reason to have a fifth child.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 21/10/2019 17:22

Well the youngest current child obviously Joxer as well as the parents

I was asking the OP as a “something to think about/discuss with partner” rather than expecting her to provide me with an answer. For all we know there could be specific reasons within their family that the eldest child would benefit from another sibling. Who knows? It’s for OP to decided

That aside, it’s not “obvious” or a given that the youngest will benefit from another sibling. Closeness in age is certainly no guarantee of a good relationship.

golddigger79 · 21/10/2019 17:23

Do it Greggers, just to annoy Sprinkle. Don't worry about the cost it will be worth it.

TulipsTulipsTulips · 21/10/2019 17:25

Can you afford them all without supplementing with benefits? If yes, the best of luck to you!

ashtrayheart · 21/10/2019 17:34

Me and dp had 3 children when me met (him one and me 2) and we then had two together. It was the right choice for us as they are very close and the others were all a lot older.

Original poster

Greggers2017 · 21/10/2019 17:36

Yes we can afford them. We have a room for them too. Just seems a shame the little one won't grow with the closeness of a sibling similar in age. We don't claim any benefits at all. Not even child benefit.
I'm only returning to work part time so I would be around a lot of the time. We were thinking of starting to try once our youngest gets to 18 months.
We do consider the planet and everything our children can bring to it. More than two is not ridiculous. Do you say that to a person only wanting two and then the second pregnancy turning out to be twins?

OP posts:

Original poster

Greggers2017 · 21/10/2019 17:37

@ashtrayheart your situation sounds the exact same as ours.

OP posts:

ashtrayheart · 21/10/2019 17:40

Yes - just read your post again and it's the same even down to the sex/ages of the children!
There's 16months between my last two, so you will have to do the same now

Panicmode1 · 21/10/2019 17:48

We have four - no way could I consider a 5th, but I have a friend who has 5 and is extremely happy! We have found that once they are in secondary school the costs have ramped up considerably - teenagers cost an absolute fortune - and then of course we've got the uni fees thing to navigate in the next 3 years or so.....we have a comfortable 6 figure income but it's still a struggle sometimes with all of the extracurricular activities they all do and the amount of money they consume for socialising in the holidays . But, if you can afford it, have space and think you can cope, then yes, why not?! (Re the planet argument - we only have one car, live in a small (ish) house, walk almost everywhere, never fly anywhere, buy local food and almost never have any food waste because we have human hoovers on legs to clean up...far less environmentally damaging than friends of ours who have 2 children in 6 or 7 bed houses, fly away somewhere every single holiday etc etc etc).

subwaysaladfan · 21/10/2019 17:49

I'm similar to you in that I have 3 older children less than 3 years apart. I went a lot of years single and met my exdp and after a couple of years we had dd when my youngest was 9, the big gap meant I wanted dd to have a sibling close in age so we decided on a 5th and she's turned out to be the hardest one by far she's 3 next month and her sisters 5 they get on really well but they've started fighting. My last pregnancy was horrific aswell and I im now suffering with sciatica and a prolapse plus a fistula my last one has ruined me.. don't get me wrong we love her to pieces and she's such a character but she is draining!

TulipsTulipsTulips · 21/10/2019 17:53

OP you sound really fortunate. If you snd your partner feel it’s right for your family then go for it!

Iflyaway · 21/10/2019 17:59

We do consider the planet

Well, you are not really, are you?

Are you even thinking about what may happen in the future, personally-wise. Job loss, sickness, divorce or bankruptcy. Anything can happen.

Can you mentally, emotionally, practically give your existing children what they need?

Reads like your egos are more important.

As a 1-child single parent, (he is now an adult), you really don't need a sibling for him. He will make his "family" around him. Mates, grandparents, cousins, uni friends, ex's-family abroad, etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Furrybutts · 21/10/2019 18:06

I had 5. Mine are now 25, 22, 19, 18 and 16. I was on my own with them since my eldest was 16.

I wanted 6, however after a 3rd C/s I was advised to call it a day.

Although it's expensive and hectic, I don't regret it ever.

Iflyaway · 21/10/2019 18:10

Do you say that to a person only wanting two and then the second pregnancy turning out to be twins?

No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous.

OP, are you someone who gets their only fulfilment in having children?
As a mother?

ashtrayheart · 21/10/2019 18:14

Sorry I thought this was the LARGER FAMILIES board - leave us breeders to it eh?

Drabarni · 21/10/2019 18:16

Definitely go for it. We wanted more but were stopped at 37 on the third. OP, are you someone who gets their only fulfilment in having children?
As a mother?

Some people do enjoy being a mother and are more traditional ot wanting to use childcare from when they are one year old.
For some mothers it's their job and they get huge satisfaction from raising their kids.

Are you the type to have kids for the childcare worker, rather than yourself?

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