4 children, crazy to consider a 5th

[Greggers2017]

I currently have DD12, DSD11, DS10 and baby DD 4 months. She is mine and DP first child together. We only thought we'd have one but now we are coming to the point of her outgrowing things we have decided to pack it away instead of sell. We keep thinking it would be lovely for our youngest child to have a sibling close in age to grow up with. We have also spoken in-depth and would love another. Are we crazy?

I haven't decided at all. There are things to consider. What I don't agree with is people attacking people. My finances have nothing to do with other people. If I say we can afford them, then what is the problem?

Why would being married give me more rights? Baring in mind that we have a joint mortgage?

It depends on your earnings/pensions/property.
If you are in an economically more advantageous position than your DP you would be a fool to get married.
If the reverse is true then get that ring on your finger, poste haste!

I have two and that’s enough for me but each to their own. You can afford it, if you want to have a 5th then go for it! (Even if I think you’re a little crazy 😜)

We have everything in place that we need should things not work out or one of us pass away.
I learnt this after my cousins partner died and she was living in his house.
Her name was not on the mortgage. His family were awful and she was left with nothing.

We are fairly similar to you op

We have 5 dc
We are not married
We jointly own our home
I work part time

If you don't have the option to work full time because of a large family, what kind of pension will you have? I am just curious.I feel like I have to work so much just to make an adequate pension.

@Booboosweet I'm going to choose to put extra into my work pension. I also have a private pension. It's been my way of saving for my future.

Mummaofmytribe that is my biggest fear! How I will deal with their young adulthood issues and if I can guide them the right way to come past them! I'm sorry to hear you have lost one! X
OP it sounds like you have it all figured out so do what's right for you! X

I am completely of the opinion that if you want another have another however...
Have you thought about the impact of a disability, how would it effect the rest of the family if you had to care for a younger child who had additional needs, just something for you to think about while making your choice.

If you want another one and can afford it, just go for it! I have a 15yo, 13yo and a 5 month old. I’d love another. As you say, with the age gap it’s nice for them to have someone to grow up with. Good luck!

Hi I have 5 children myself having a big family is no easy task but each baby is a gift and a fun roller-coaster to be on you have the ups and the downs but I would not change it for the world.

I know it’s upsetting to get negative opinions but if you feel aggrieved by some posters make sure it’s not because you know they have a valid argument and can’t face it. The pp’s pointing out the climate emergency have a point do they not? You might not want to hear it in the echo chamber of the ‘larger families’ topic ...but whether you like to face it or not: having lots of children isn’t great for the planet. Be prepared to face this criticism.

No idea of how you are handling current family; state of your relationship; your financial situation; your housing situation; your health etc

So would be irresponsible for me to glibly day “go for it”

I think if you can afford another baby and you both would like to add another to the family then there’s nothing at all wrong with that and it’s a personal choice for you and your family alone. I would love to have a larger family myself, not sure if it will happen in reality as we are only on number one now and over thirty but you know what, like I said already if you can bring them up, fair play to you and all the best! I think bigger families are lovely having come from a single child family I would have adored brothers and sisters growing up and to this day am envious of my partners large family and how close they are! There is a lot to be said for having siblings and the more the merrier I say!