4 children, crazy to consider a 5th

[Greggers2017]

I currently have DD12, DSD11, DS10 and baby DD 4 months. She is mine and DP first child together. We only thought we'd have one but now we are coming to the point of her outgrowing things we have decided to pack it away instead of sell. We keep thinking it would be lovely for our youngest child to have a sibling close in age to grow up with. We have also spoken in-depth and would love another. Are we crazy?

@Iflyaway no not at all. I've been very fortunate to build a successful career and I have a good social life and a few hobbies that I enjoy. I'm very lucky that my parents enjoy time with the children too, so me and my partner get time together.
My elder two children have a great relationship with their dad too. He has them most weekends and half the school holidays.
It's nothing to do with our egos at all. What gives people that impression?

I'm the eldest of 7 and had a wonderful childhood.

I shall be returning to work 3 days per week. My youngest will be having one day with each nanny and one in nursery.

Greggers, sounds like you have it sorted and a good life, good for you.

But just because you are one of 7 doesn't mean you have to keep up!

I myself am genuinely worried at the state of our planet. And our kids future. It's just not sustainable.

I definitely won't be keeping up to 7! This would be my last. I'd be too old for any more.
If my first relationship had succeeded then I wouldn't have had any more than two. I was lucky to meet my current partner. It's just the way my life has turned out.

Crazy.

We do consider the planet

No, you really don’t!

Wait until your little one is eighteen months and then reassess. Make sure you really want a baby for yourselves, not just as a sibling for your daughter because it probably won't bother her not having anyone close in age and she will have friends. If you work all that out, go for it! It's nobody else's business. I do think you're brave, though.

Normally I would be firm on the stick at 2 or 3, but your circumstances are different in that the elder 3 are in a totally different age bracket and I get that you’d want a sibling close to 4 month old.

I’m also all for only children but it might be more difficult for a child you grows up seeing potentially closely bonded elder half siblings and none of their own.

It’s obviously not guaranteed though as you may not fall pregnant, or a sibling may come along and they end up not being close at all anyway.

I also hear plenty of stories of larger families where the youngest is closer to the eldest rather than the siblings closest in age

If it's the right thing for your family then go for it (although personally I think you're crazy ).

Yes actually sprinkle we do. How on earth do you know what each individual family does for the planet?
My brother who has 2 children will be having much more impact on the envrionment than us. Just from his different lifestyle.

@Greggers2017 My brother who has 2 children will be having much more impact on the envrionment than us. Just from his different lifestyle

Completely untrue and demonstrates how little you know on the topic. His two children could get a private jet every day and it wouldn’t come close to the impact that your four potentially five children will have on the planet. Having a child is the most destructive thing you can do.

Oh bugger off sparkledash. That's just one link.
My DSD isn't a child I have given birth too, I have just taken her on as my own.
Would you be saying what you're saying to somebody who has adopted four children? I guess not.
I pay for everything for my children. I even did when I was a single parent. It is something I am proud of.
Unfortunately my first relationship didn't work out. I was very lucky to meet another partner. Why shouldn't I have had a child with him.
Next you'll be telling me you protest with extinction rebellion. 🙄

Why come on the larger family board and complain about larger families.

My God some people have got nothing better to do.

My dd has said for years she would have liked a younger sibling as there's a big gap between her and both ds.
She said sometimes it's like being an only child. The nearest is 9 years older and then the other is 13 years older.

@Drabarni my dad always says the same about feeling like An only child. He has three sisters who are 15, 13! And 11 years older than him.

It's strange because she is very close to them and now older the gap does seem to be going a bit, it's just from when the older ones were early - mid twenties and finding partners, getting married etc.

She was conceived on an early menopause of 37, so we knew there would be no more. It's not the end of the world and I know she has gained in other ways from having older siblings, but it would have been nice to have another.

@Drabarni dad is close to the youngest. The eldest is like a mum but that may be due to them losing their Mum when dad was 5.

I have zero opinion on larger families but as a child who is a lot younger than my siblings I never felt lonely etc. I loved being the baby of the family. I had loads of friends and loads of attention. So don't presume your youngest needs a sibling.

She will be ok as an 'only' child you know. Don't do it just to give her a sibling and if you remove that thought completely - what do you really want to do?

Two of my closest friends were only children and they hated it. They said things like Christmas and holidays were boring.
I'd love another child. It was something I'd never considered until I had this baby and I am absolutely loving being a Mum to young children again.

I would do it if i were you op!

I just had dc5 in September, mine are 11, 10, 6, 3 and 6 weeks

I would nt bring another child into the world we are overpopulated as it is and Britain is struggling. It's worrying.

The next generation don't seem to be interested i having a family at all, so I'm sure it will even out.
Schools are closing due to numbers dropping.
The planet is fucked, a few larger families isn't going to make it any worse.
We have about 20 years if the Amazon rainforest goes, so considering a load has just been burned to a crisp, we're pretty fucked already.

Greggers2017
Two of my closest friends were only children and they hated it. They said things like Christmas and holidays were boring.
I'd love another child. It was something I'd never considered until I had this baby and I am absolutely loving being a Mum to young children again.
...............
Don't base your opinions on two friends! There are plenty of happy, well adjusted only children - however your youngest isn't an only child. I've known a few people who were 'the baby' of the family with siblings a lot older and they were adored. Your little one will make friends in time too.

However, if you want another child for yourself, not just for your youngest child, it's entirely up to you and your husband. Good luck whatever happens.

I have five. All grown up now. The childhood part was actually the easiest and I mostly loved it. I like kids and they like me. I'm just one of those women. I adore my tribe even though I have now sadly lost one.
I have found dealing with their problems and issues as young adults to be far harder. The anxiety for them is the same however old they are!
So just bear that in mind. The houseful of cuddly, squabbling, funny, messy kids was a stage I loved though. I think some of us are programmed for motherhood.
A very unfashionable thing to say - and yes I'm a strident feminist but not afraid to say motherhood is personally a defining characteristic of myself. I feel ok to own that now.

Thank you for all your opinions. I think it's definitely something we are going to consider. I love being a mum and working 3 days is the perfect home/work balance