Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Jewish Mumsnetters

Only those who have been a registered user of Mumsnet for at least 7 days can post in this topic. This board exists primarily for the use of Jewish Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

Original poster

Mumsnet is getting worse

1000 replies

LondonMummer · 29/10/2023 18:53

Seriously. Is it the same few people just name changing or is it really this toxic in the UK? There is so much poisonous Jewish hatred on here. I'm not talking hatred of Israel, just vile antisemitism on so many posts now.

I truly think I have to step away before I lose faith in humanity. Why does MN seem to attract so many hateful posters? Maybe it's the anonymity.

I can't keep calling it out. Im exhausted and actually deeply disturbed by it now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
39
Humdingerydoo · 03/12/2023 22:52

It's really weird that people spy on here to make sure no one is saying anything wrong. Pretty sure if someone did that to Muslims they'd be (most likely correctly) accused of islamophobia. Oh well, if that's how people want to spend their time 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just realised today how utterly messed up it is that our local Chabad Chanukah event invitation says "location confirmed upon registration". The messed up part is that it's always been like that but it's taken me until now to realise how absurd it is that a Jewish event has to be kept under wraps like this. Why have I just accepted this?! Why have I not questioned this before? Why were Diwali celebrations and the Christmas lights being turned on well-publicised, but lighting a Chanukiah has to be kept secret? Why have I not reflected on the fact that I never even consider going to an event if it doesn't also mention that CST will be present? It just wouldn't occur to me. Antisemitism is just accepted as being a normal part of life. It's absolutely insane!

noblegiraffe · 03/12/2023 22:55

They spy on here because they hope we're talking about them.

MissConductUS · 03/12/2023 22:55

Thanks for the support, @Pizdietz, @stomachameleon and @etmoiandme. I know it's not everyone. There does seem to be competition among some MNers to pile on in those threads to see who can be the most goady. I attribute it to lost empire syndrome.

SomeCatFromJapan · 03/12/2023 22:57

@Humdingerydoo It was after the Bataclan attacks that I realised how frightening it must be for Jewish communities in France, as there were of course the other attacks on the same day with specific targets.
I naively thought until just a few weeks ago that the UK was different.

stomachameleon · 03/12/2023 22:57

It's bad enough that you are expected to be the official spokesperson for Israel.... what will happen next? What is the plan?..... let alone being followed on here.
In all seriousness perhaps that's something we could bring up with Mumsnet.

Humdingerydoo · 03/12/2023 23:01

@MissConductUS sorry, I had completely missed your post - I'm sorry you've had to deal with such utter nonsense for so long. People seem to think it's ok to be offensive as long as it's done online. They'd never dare say the vast majority of stuff in person! And if they did, they definitely wouldn't keep digging their heels in when called out on something the way people always do on the internet.

Humdingerydoo · 03/12/2023 23:02

SomeCatFromJapan · 03/12/2023 22:57

@Humdingerydoo It was after the Bataclan attacks that I realised how frightening it must be for Jewish communities in France, as there were of course the other attacks on the same day with specific targets.
I naively thought until just a few weeks ago that the UK was different.

Unfortunately it's the same everywhere. I'm from another European country and things aren't exactly great there either 🙃

Trulywonderful · 03/12/2023 23:04

Humdingerydoo · 03/12/2023 22:52

It's really weird that people spy on here to make sure no one is saying anything wrong. Pretty sure if someone did that to Muslims they'd be (most likely correctly) accused of islamophobia. Oh well, if that's how people want to spend their time 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just realised today how utterly messed up it is that our local Chabad Chanukah event invitation says "location confirmed upon registration". The messed up part is that it's always been like that but it's taken me until now to realise how absurd it is that a Jewish event has to be kept under wraps like this. Why have I just accepted this?! Why have I not questioned this before? Why were Diwali celebrations and the Christmas lights being turned on well-publicised, but lighting a Chanukiah has to be kept secret? Why have I not reflected on the fact that I never even consider going to an event if it doesn't also mention that CST will be present? It just wouldn't occur to me. Antisemitism is just accepted as being a normal part of life. It's absolutely insane!

These things only really occur to me during the vile protests in 2021 about that conflict in the middle east. Before then not being a religious Jew I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff or about Israel really. Those hateful protesters with their antisemitisc signs and evil shouting (This was before the current pre designed and printed signs), plus the kill the mothers and rape the daughters convey. They really were a very rude awakening to me. I suddenly understand the fears of my older relatives and why Israel is needed by so many Jewish people.

Trulywonderful · 04/12/2023 00:40

Thank you MissConductUS. That was an interesting read.

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 06:41

When I've reported these posts the view of the moderators has been that this is not hate speech, it's purely factual, and if I have evidence to the contrary, I should provide it. Of course if these were threads about the drunken Irish, arrogant Germans or snooty English, they'd all be taken down immediately.

what a shocking response from MN. Not at all problematic to say ridiculous stereotypes about an entire (and massive country) are naive, a bit thick and lazy cooks, is a fact. Yup, try say that about Germany, Ireland or virtually any other country, and it would be deleted.

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 06:49

etmoi. That is indeed an interesting read about Jews having to take responsibility for Israel’s policy and actions. I’ve often felt like that and also always under (I used to hope ill founded) pressure, to show I’m not peoples ‘stereotypical Jew’ ie not stingy, not trying to get away with not paying my way, not loud/sharp elbowed and not overtly Zionist. I’m none of those things, and my non-Jewish friends wouldn’t have such a thought, but I still feel I always have to be scrupulous about being a ‘good Jew’. Does anyone else feel this way?

PurpleChrayne · 04/12/2023 08:50

My elderly mother-in-law had a plumber round at her sheltered accommodation to fix something. He saw the Judaica she has on the walls, photos of Israel, etc., and asked aggressively, "Are you Jewish?" with a sneer. When she said he's, he got really confrontational with her, asking what she thought about what was going on in Gaza. She politely asked him to leave. He went without argument, but she was very shaken. She won't report it to the staff because she doesn't want to cause trouble. She worries they might even side with him because they kicked up a fuss about her hanging a mezzuzah, and have made borderline dodgy comments before.

Poor MIL would love to move back to Israel but she just isn't well enough for a big move.

PurpleChrayne · 04/12/2023 08:50

Sorry, that should read "when she said she was" not "he's".

SomeCatFromJapan · 04/12/2023 08:53

@PurpleChrayne That is sickening! An infirm elderly lady being bullied for being Jewish, in her own home.

Trulywonderful · 04/12/2023 09:12

PurpleChrayne · 04/12/2023 08:50

My elderly mother-in-law had a plumber round at her sheltered accommodation to fix something. He saw the Judaica she has on the walls, photos of Israel, etc., and asked aggressively, "Are you Jewish?" with a sneer. When she said he's, he got really confrontational with her, asking what she thought about what was going on in Gaza. She politely asked him to leave. He went without argument, but she was very shaken. She won't report it to the staff because she doesn't want to cause trouble. She worries they might even side with him because they kicked up a fuss about her hanging a mezzuzah, and have made borderline dodgy comments before.

Poor MIL would love to move back to Israel but she just isn't well enough for a big move.

That is so horrible, poor lady. Fancy not feeling able to complain about someone that made you feel uncomfortable in your own home. It is truly a completely shitty thing what some people are doing to Jews in the west.

Trulywonderful · 04/12/2023 09:20

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 06:49

etmoi. That is indeed an interesting read about Jews having to take responsibility for Israel’s policy and actions. I’ve often felt like that and also always under (I used to hope ill founded) pressure, to show I’m not peoples ‘stereotypical Jew’ ie not stingy, not trying to get away with not paying my way, not loud/sharp elbowed and not overtly Zionist. I’m none of those things, and my non-Jewish friends wouldn’t have such a thought, but I still feel I always have to be scrupulous about being a ‘good Jew’. Does anyone else feel this way?

I am in a very multi cultural area of London. Yes the idea of being a good Jew is alive and kicking here. Especially among certain groups of white westerners in the local community and some of my white or Muslim colleagues at work. Not everyone bit enough to make it get uncomfortable at times.

I am always professional in real life. So I don't swear or call people fuckwits like on mumsnet. However I don't play the part of the good Jew even when it probably would be easier. Not since the last big conflict and protests anyway. That time taught me that the people that want us to be good little Jews ultimately will be prejudice against us in the long run whether we are good little Jews or not.

ProvincialLady1 · 04/12/2023 09:22

PurpleChrayne · 04/12/2023 08:50

My elderly mother-in-law had a plumber round at her sheltered accommodation to fix something. He saw the Judaica she has on the walls, photos of Israel, etc., and asked aggressively, "Are you Jewish?" with a sneer. When she said he's, he got really confrontational with her, asking what she thought about what was going on in Gaza. She politely asked him to leave. He went without argument, but she was very shaken. She won't report it to the staff because she doesn't want to cause trouble. She worries they might even side with him because they kicked up a fuss about her hanging a mezzuzah, and have made borderline dodgy comments before.

Poor MIL would love to move back to Israel but she just isn't well enough for a big move.

I'm so angry and upset that this kind of thing is happening in the UK and your mother-in-law doesn't feel safe to speak out about it to the people who should be looking out for her welfare. So sorry to hear this, I hope she's ok.

Trulywonderful · 04/12/2023 11:14

Taken the detainees thread off my watch list and hidden it. No point reading or posting occasionally on that one. It seems people just want to make up lies about me now. Frankly I do enough real bat crazy posts at time people could moan about. They really don't need to make up rubbish to try and discredit me.

The echo chamber is real it seems😂

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 11:29

TrulyWonderful you are so right - those who we feel we have to do the performative ‘good Jew’ thing around, are no doubt those who are going to despise us whatever. I find it almost ingrained now though. I shall try harder to stop.

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 11:30

PurpleChrayne. Your poor MIL. That’s just vile.

Trulywonderful · 04/12/2023 11:54

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 11:29

TrulyWonderful you are so right - those who we feel we have to do the performative ‘good Jew’ thing around, are no doubt those who are going to despise us whatever. I find it almost ingrained now though. I shall try harder to stop.

Yes I think it is something that is ingrained in a lot of us

The need to blend with the existing population was great for most of our older refugee relatives. Therefore that is something I think has affected most of our upbringing. This has impacted on us too

Cropcycle · 04/12/2023 12:19

TrulyWonderful My late DPs and DGPs spent their lives frightened of drawing attention to their Jewishness as the memory of why they ended up in the UK was still very recent to them. My DC were the first generation whose childhoods weren’t spent hiding their heritage. Now though we are back to not wanting to draw attention to it again - tucking Magen Dovid’s out of sight etc.

Trulywonderful · 04/12/2023 12:29

It is just tragic that things have gone full circle and children have to be aware / worry about such things

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.