October FET

[InfertilitySWS]

Hi! I’m starting the process of a FET in September, transferring a 4AB early October. Trying for baby number two. Anyone else? Would be great to have people to talk to amongst the symptom spotting, line eyes and general freak outs ☺️

Im starting to panic about transferring my last embryo. It is a day 6 4aa embryo. Iv never transferred a day 6 embryo before so I dont know what my chances of a successful transfer are. I transferred a 4ab in july and it didnt take at all so now I cant stop thinking im going to be paying for a transfer that has no hope. What are your thoughts on this? My period is suppose to be due on friday but thats a stretch in itself..

@Miraclemuma03 A 4aa is an excellent rated blastocyst so statistically it looks good. It's such a numbers game. Other than testing if it's euploid or not, all you can do is try really...Hope AF arrives soon. Was this your last blastocyst?

Yes this is my last embryo and I don't know if im willing to do any more egg retrievals. My concern is that its a day 6 embryo so was a little slower to get to where it needed to be. I already asked my clinic what my chances are for a success with a day 6 embryo and they said the day 5 and day 6 embryo hasnt got any differences and the grading is good so has just as much of a chance as a day 5 4aa embryo but what.if they are just saying that. Im sceptical .

Good luck @Miraclemuma03! Thinking of you. I think they wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. There would be no point waiting until day 6 (my clinic don't even update on day 5 unless you ask because so much can happen between day 5 and 6 hence my username 😁) they would just stop at day 5 and discard the rest if that's where the stats were leading them. My clinic apparently is quite strict with grading and only freezing certain grades but freezes on day 6 if there are good quality ones so that hopefully will give you some reassurance!!

@Miraclemuma03 The research can be confusing but my understanding is that day 5 blasts tend to have higher success than day 6 because they are usually rated more highly BUT and this is key...if the day 6 blast is rated as highly as the day 5, then the odds are comparable. My transfer yesterday was a 4aa, 5 day blastocyst. A 6 day 4aa is comparable.

@cakeislife1234 Good luck with transfer today I'll be thinking of you. Is it still 2pm. Were bloods all ok yesterday?
@Piapea How are you feeling? Think I'm in that headspace you described before - hopeful not hopeful, excited, detached. All very surreal.

@Miraclemuma03, it's so hard, isn't it? FWIW, this is how I've seen it explained: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8XbRy6M4mO/?hl=en

I really rate Emma; she explains things in a way I can understand, and she clearly knows her stuff backwards and forwards.

There's no way they would advise you to do the transfer if you didn't have a shot. The best-graded embryos can fail; all you can do is hope.

Good luck today @cakeislife1234! I think we were on the May/June thread about stims and egg collection!

The norethisterone worked and I got my period today. All systems go! Should have my baseline scan on Thursday or Friday

Oh, I missed it was transfer day today, @cakeislife1234! Best of luck!

Hi all,
Sorry I’ve been super quiet recently, I have tried to keep up with the thread but my heads been all over the place to be honest.

I’m currently 7dp5dt however transfer day wasn’t as smooth as hoped. This is my third transfer so knew what to expect. The second the doctor saw my ultrasound on the screen I could tell something was wrong. He immediately put up the theatre lights and prepared for an internal ultrasound and started quizzing me on when I’d started my progesterone and dosage etc. He said my lining looked nice and thick but there was something else he was hoping to see (he did tell me but it was a medical term I’d never heard of and my panicking brain didn’t take note!!)
He did say he was happier with the image from the internal ultrasound and was happy to proceed with the transfer but I was to increase my progesterone immediately and not wait for bloods as originally planned.
So the whole thing has left me feeling quite negative and like the odds of a success are slim.

If you’ve read this far thank you! Ive been stewing for the past week and just needed to get that off my chest.
Also turns out that being quite confident a cycle hasn’t worked doesn’t stop mad symptom spotting in the 2WW - I’m driving myself crazy 😂

@Mamafromtheblock Sorry you've had this additional stress. Have you considered contacting the clinic to ask them to clarify? It might put your mind at rest. Good that your lining was thick. It's hard enough waiting without all this extra worry. Best wishes.

That sounds really stressful, @Mamafromtheblock. I definitely think you ought to get in touch with the clinic and ask - you need to set your mind at rest! I think they're often so used to doing this, they forget how we agonise over remarks that might not mean very much at all. I hope that's the case here. And they wouldn't have done the transfer if they didn't think it would work.

Symptom spotting just puzzles me. As far as I can see everything we're taking makes everything feel like pregnancy! I'm on steroids that commonly make you feel sick, and it's so annoying because it does feel like pregnancy sickness - I have to remind myself it's not, because I don't get sick this early.

Thanks @Sara237 and @SarahAndQuack I’m going to give them a call in the morning. I’m trying to reassure myself they wouldn’t have gone ahead with the transfer but then again the embryo had already been thawed… guessing you can’t just pop them back in the freezer!!

Sorry to hear you’re feeling sick @SarahAndQuack I think the big jump in progesterone made me so nauseous for a couple of days - felt completely like morning sickness too but know it’s too early
With my successful transfer I had an implantation bleed and cramping - nothing this time, further convincing myself it hasn’t worked although google tells me that it only occurs in 15-30% of pregnancies

So true about all these symptoms. I've been very crampy today but bunged up from 2 days of travel so think it's just digestive. I actually woke up today feeling really detached from the whole thing. All very surreal. I think existing in a perpetual state of uncertainty, after years of effort and disappointment would be destabilising for anyone and now after the transfer milestone it all feels a bit of an anti-climax. Think my brain is trying to protect me from this deep fear that I'll be doing this all over again some time soon.
I'm also feeling in the mix some sense of shame which is completely irrational but I know it's there. I tell myself I'm impervious to others' judgements but actually I just want people to get it and not find me lacking. But I really thought about this today and about how I'm projecting my own self judgement and finding my own self not measuring up. I know on a rational level that no-one else gives a crap about how old a mother might be but it's all in the mix. Urgh, IVF. It's a journey!

Thank you for that information ladies irs very helpful.

Seems as though I dont have to wait long at all for my period this cycle. Strangely enough iv started ever so slightly spotting this arvo so I'd say by morning it will be here and not too early that I can't make it work. My period is never early, maybe once in a blue moon randomly and seems as though iv got the random cycle this month. See how we go by morning , but I could be ringing the clinic tomorrow with my day 1.

I absolutely get that feeling of wanting to protect yourself. I did that so effectively in the build up to the transfer I was convinced the embryo wouldn't thaw. I didn't really realise how strongly I'd persuaded myself of that until I got there. It's so natural not to want to get hurt.

You absolutely shouldn't feel any shame! The oldest mother I know, in my social circle, had her first and only child at 50. Honestly, people don't notice - people sort of assume if you're doing a life stage alongside them, you must be roughly the same age as them. So someone in their early 30s will probably think 'oh yes, she's older than me' but she probably won't put a number on it with any great certainty.

Morning all. How is everyone doing?

Are you officially day 1, @Miraclemuma03? Must be good to feel it's all getting started!

Hope you're feeling ok and hanging in there, @Mamafromtheblock? Did you manage to get some useful info from the clinic?

I'm feeling a bit down today - I just really don't want to go back to that clinic for another cycle, but realistically it would be silly to change clinics now, and there aren't that many nearby. It's really hitting me how unprofessional and inappropriate they've been (not giving all the details because I think I need to wait until after this cycle then make a complaint - I talked to a medical friend the other day and her jaw was on the floor about it, which sort of brought it all home!).

Anyway, it is a lovely day here. I am going to spend two hours pottering about in a pretty garden and I'm sure that'll cheer me right up. Hope everyone else has a good day ahead!

Morning ladies, how is everyone doing? Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA lately just been in my own head a lot and already residing myself to the fact this transfer won’t work even though I’ve not had it yet! I’m feeling very emotionally disconnected from it all at the moment just feels like I’m ticking the box to say yes I did try for a sibling but it didn’t work …. Even when I had my lining scan earlier in the week and found out lining is great at 11mm (last 2 FETs were only just 8mm) I just found myself shrugging it off like I can’t let myself be excited or happy about it … anyone else feel that way about it all? Anyway starting progesterone tomorrow and transfer booked for weds next week ….. feels a million years away!!

@Miraclemuma03 I was doing some reading on day 5 and day 6 embryos and I’m unsure what mine is now classed as because it was frozen at day 5 then defrosted for PGTA and left overnight so they could get the cells they needed before refreezing …. So is mine technically a day 6 now? Who bloody knows! Mind is going a million miles an hour! But I did read that once defrosted if it starts to re-expand then thats a really good sign and day 5 or 6 doesn’t really make a difference, so I think I will probably be asking that at transfer, did your day one arrive?

@SarahAndQuack how you feeling on the steroids? I’ve deffo struggled sleep wise since starting them and had an upset stomach on and off so not really looking forward to increasing next week 🙈 hope the TWW is being kind to you xx

best of luck to everyone in the TWW limbo anyone thinking of testing early? Xx

Hi @sunflower1906 - I think we cross posted. I absolutely get what you mean about not wanting to engage emotionally. I feel like that. I won't harp on about issues with my clinic, but in general, I feel quite dubious about the way some clinics try to push people to feel celebratory and excited - it's quite natural to want to just keep your head down and not get your hopes up. There is no evidence that positive thinking, or any of that nonsense, makes a difference, and it makes me so cross when people imply that if we're not being full of rainbows and smiles we're somehow doing it wrong.

But, 11mm is great! So even if you don't feel excited, that's a plus point to tick quietly on your mental list of milestones.

Don't quote me, but my understanding about the day 5/day 6 thing is simply that an embryo that reaches its milestones on time, is more likely to be a healthy, strong embryo. So if it reached blastocyst stage at day 5, it is a day 5 embryo. Thawing and re-freezing may come with their own costs (but obviously they'd tell you if the embryo had failed to thaw and re-freezes so I expect you can discount that!). But a day 5 embryo is still a day 5 embryo.

(Can you tell I couldn't sleep last night and skimmed far too many academic papers?! And I'm not remotely a scientist so it's not even as if I understand them.)

Steroids - YY, not loving them. I feel very sick through the day, which I mind because it feels like early pregnancy sickness and I have to remind myself it's not, and I find the mental effort of that hard. Otherwise they're not too bad, but I am very careful about eating a good protein-heavy meal before I take them, or I do really notice.

Oh, and here's my stupid paranoid question: I am less bloated than I was a couple of days ago (I know, cos I can button my jeans comfortably again!). I am now firmly convincing myself this means it hasn't worked.

I promise that in real life I am a relatively sensible, no-nonsense woman, honest.

Hey everyone, rubbish update from me, went for my second lining scan today and it's gone from 6.3mm last Friday to 5.2mm today so transfer has been cancelled, cried my whole way to work, gutted😢has anyone else had an issue with this in the past?
Best of luck to everyone in the 2ww x

@SarahAndQuack yes day 1 was full flow this morning before the sun came up haha so thats always lovely.
Did I miss a comment about your clinic not being up to scratch? im sorry to read that your not happy with the standard of care with your clinic.

@sunflower1906 hi, I appreciate your comment and did actually speak to the clinic today with my concerns and my fertility nurse was very happy to answer all my questions and calm me down of all my worries and insecurities surrounding this transfer. Has it stopped me from worrying? No! But am i going ahead with the transfer? Yes!
Yes I suppose if you think about it, embryos that have been thawed and re expanded for testing giving them an extra day would most probably now be technically calssed as day 6 embryos and they are successful.

Oh gosh! Im really sorry. That is really hard and disappointing. Whats the plan now moving forward if you have one. Is there other medications you can take to keep the lining thick?

@waitingforourmiracle so sorry to hear your cycle has been cancelled that’s so disappointing about your lining, completely understandable that you are upset over this and super tough that you now have to go to work too. I hope you can find a way forward and see if your clinic will change something next time for better results. What meds were you on this time round? My 1st FET I was on 3 x 2mg oestrogen daily orally and lining was 8mm. After it failed we increased our oestrogen to 3 x 2mg oestrogen orally and 2 x 2mg oestrogen vaginally and lining was 9mm. For this current FET we down regulated this time and kept the oestrogen as per our last FET but also added aspirin 75mg too and lining was 11mm so maybe the aspirin helped with my lining this cycle? Who knows our bodies really do like to keep us guessing!