@Sherr33 I am so sorry to hear about your pregnancy, it’s so difficult mentally to get excited to finally be pregnant and then to have to terminate the pregnancy. It’s so unfair having to experience this after IVF!
For my first miscarriage I had a D&C and honestly it was the best option for me. I was stressed about the general anesthesia but it wasn’t much worse than the sedation for an egg collection and it’s done in a day. They inserted some vaginal tablets to dilate my cervix which caused a bit of pain, but apart from that it was relatively painless. I barely spotted for a couple of days, and then got my period approximately 40 days after the surgery. I had to wait until my following period until I could start IVF again (so a 2-cycle break). I wasn’t told at this stage that there was a risk of scarring with this procedure that could impact fertility. It came as a surprise when they told me this time that they always try to avoid it for miscarriages for fertility patients! For you it will be a different situation as it’s a medical termination. If you do it once I guess the risks are really low, and I was also told that they are extra gentle with fertility patients to avoid scarring as much as possible. I was lucky to have no scarring and it didn’t stop me from getting pregnant from my subsequent IVF cycle.
For my second miscarriage, because I couldn’t have the D&C I had the MVA, but I don’t know if it would be an option for you as at my EPU the limit is 10 weeks. It was more painful than the D&C because it’s only a local anaesthetic, but it wasn’t too painful. It’s a little traumatic because you can see and hear what is happening. I have also heard horror stories about MVAs so I guess it depends a lot on the consultant doing the procedure. The bleeding and pain after the surgery yesterday were quite intense, but today I have no pain at all and just a little spotting. I have been told I should have my period in 4-6 weeks. I will then have to wait another cycle before starting IVF again.
The other option is medical management. I have never done it, as for me it sounded awful, but it is a good option for people who prefer going through this difficult time at home. I was told with this option that the pain would be 10/10 but would not last too long. I was told that there is a risk with medical management that in 20% of the cases it doesn’t fully work and then women have to have the surgery afterwards.
Whatever you chose there is not perfect option, you just have to do what is best for you. It’s important to be trying to take care of yourself in this difficult time, for me it’s ordering my favorite takeaway, going for a nice coffee, or forcing myself to go for a walk and get some fresh air!
It’s an awful situation so I am trying to remember that it can only get better.