BFP after IVF - due October 2025

[Sherr33]

Hi all I thought I would create a thread for our BFPs after IVF.

A bit about me: 34 years old (35 next month)
2x failed transfers and 1x failed to thaw
BFP with this little blub. Scan date 7th of February (will be 6wks1day)🎊
Here's to continuous panicking 🤪

Hi,

I hope you are all doing well! I didn't didn't bother updating on my gp appointment as all they did was write up my letter from the ivf clinic, so not very useful really.

I'm 8 weeks today, and I expected my symptoms to get worse, as I've read they peak in weeks 8 and 9. But my nausea is barely here, although I still have the same food aversions, and my boobs are no longer sore. I know symptoms can fluctuate, but I didn't expect to feel better at 8 weeks. Has anyone else had this?

@Waitingformystork just jumping in to hopefully offer some reassurance. I had 3/4 days of feeling tip-top (at around 8 weeks) and was freaking out!!! I am now 9 weeks and the nausea has upped the anti again, not as much as previously but definitely enough to turn my stomach. I read loads of threads on mumsnet about others with similar experiences who went on to have their wee babies. It seems the placenta takes over at 8 weeks which can offer some relief which is good xx

I've got a private scan on Friday so will hopefully be able to follow up with more reassurance then x

@Eagerlywaiting1990 thank you, that is reassuring to hear. Although I don't enjoy the nausea, at least I know it's because of pregnancy hormones! I hope you're not feeling too sick, and good luck with the scan next week.

I might get a private scan for some extra reassurance. I had the heartbeat scan with the ivf clinic at 6wk+4, and then my next scan is the nhs dating scan which is booked in for 12wk+5. So it feels a long time to wait in between them, not knowing if anything has changed

Regarding the midwife booking appointment- are you meant to go alone to this or can your partner go in with you?

I haven't had mine booked in yet, so I don't know what the guidance is, but I think you're meant to go alone. As they'll also ask some welfare questions about your situation at home and your partner

Hi @OneWaryCat my husband came with me to my booking appointment - it was quite useful to have him there because he was able to answer medical questions for his side of the family!

I wasn't asked anything that I couldn't answer in front of him such as welfare etc.

Hi all,

Honestly I just had the worst day ever today.
I had my viability scan and unfortunately it’s not looking good, the embryo is measuring way too small so I should expect to start miscarrying over the next few days. It is the second time this happens as I had the same outcome with my first IVF pregnancy.

And then after the scan I go home and learn that I am being made redundant!

I just can’t believe it, I feel so lost and broken!

@YellowTack im so so sorry. That’s so cruel that both these things happened to you at all, let alone in the same day. What did they say the next step is - do you just wait or come in for another scan? Did they say it’s definitely not a viable pregnancy or is there any hope? I have all my fingers crossed for you xxx

@OneWaryCat my partner came with me to my midwife appointment xx

@YellowTack I am so sorry for your news 😭 The words cannot possibly describe what you are feeling now. What else can I say - let's hope that it will be last bad news you ever receive and things will hopefully change for you xx

@Cosyseason1234 how are you doing? x Haven't seen you for ages here... Did you join that Whatsapp group? If so, could you kindly post the link?x

@OneWaryCat I had my booking appointment yesterday. The midwife was really really lovely. My husband was there, I also thought he d be just waiting in the waiting area because of those private questions, but the midwife said he is ok to be present. There were many questions about his/his family medical conditions, so his presence was very helpful. They took my bloods/urine sample and gave me a huge envelope with my notes - pregnancy book with lots of information. x

@Waitingformystork my symptoms are mostly gone, (10 weeks Wednesday), no nausea whatsoever, just extreme sleepiness and some pain in my abdomen from time to time, probably just uterus expanding and squeezing everything else. x

@daisyjones03 we saw a heartbeat but they were pretty definitive it was not viable, it is measuring only 5 weeks instead of 8 weeks. She also could see some blood in my uterus. I still need to go back next week for another scan but they said they wouldn’t be surprised if I have miscarried by then.

@YellowTack thats so hard, im so sorry. There’s probably nothing to say that could make you feel better right now. I hope time helps heal but it really is just so horrible and I so wish it wasn’t this way 😔😢 xx

@YellowTackjesus I am so so sorry to read this 🥺 how cruel to happen again and to be redundant on top of it 🤬 please be kind to yourself. Does your clinic do reviews do they have any idea of what causes this to happen? X

This is so awful @YellowTack, I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of love. Take care of yourself. Xx

I'm so sorry @YellowTack , it's so unfair. I hope you are looking after yourself, or can lash out somewhere, screaming into pillows, whatever you feel you need to do.

Thanks for the correction about the midwife appointments @HopefulSibling and @Elena3. I'll know not to deliberately exclude my partner if he wants to come along to ours

Thank you all for your support, this forum has been a great resource for me. We haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy so I don’t have anyone to talk about apart from this forum.

I guess once it is done I will have a review meeting with the consultant to see what could be done differently. At the moment they have just said that we are probably unlucky and there is probably nothing wrong. They would not necessarily recommend more testing as it’s often expensive and inconclusive anyway. I think for me PGT-A would now make sense but with my low AMH I am not a good candidate for it (we had only one embryo this round).

The hardest part for me is that I don’t know how/when it will happen. How I am supposed to continue my everyday live not knowing when it might even start?
Something interesting they told me yesterday is that they don’t recommend having a D&C surgery as it could damage my lining. That’s a shame because I had one for my previous missed miscarriage and it helped me a lot emotionally as I did not see it happening.

@YellowTackwould you opt for the medical management? Altho it’s not a nice experience either. I had a d&c with my last one too and they said it’s more a vacuum rather than scraping so it’s a lot safer. It’s definitely a lot easier on the emotional side of things with minimal bleeding. I’m so sorry it’s happened to you again, it’s incredibly unfair!

@YellowTack it is all heartbreaking :( I am so sorry again...

I think as @Daniki says, medical intervention is not the worst option, but there are cases when the body doesn't remove everything fully, doesn't 'cleanse itself' properly which could lead to severe infections...This happened to my mother's friend, and I don't think she is the only one. In many European countries doctors never really give you an option for the body to cope with it 'naturally' for this specific reason. I don't want to sound like I am scaremongering though, it just sounds safer than miscarrying at home...

@Daniki @Elena3 I honestly would prefer the surgical intervention as I prefer being in the hospital when it happens. I have my booking appointment with the midwife tomorrow so if it still hasn’t started I will ask if she could refer me to the EPU!

@YellowTack of course, just remember that you have a choice and don't let them fob you off! xx

@YellowTackyep defo, I would do the same thing! And yes as Elena says you absolutely have a choice, they don’t get to make the final decision! X

Another reason for medical intervention in this case, is from what I have read in multiple other threads about miscarriage - once it starts at home, people go to A &E, wait there for hours (while bleeding sometimes) and then to be just 'sent home'/potentially have a scan with EPU. Some people were less unlucky and got seen by early pregnancy unit, but some of those say 'we are not walk in service' and you need a referral from a GP. All of this sounds mad to me, like what do you do in such situation? In one of those threads there was even a woman who apparently works for a & e and she was moaning that ' i dont know why people come to us because there isnt much that can be done' It is really helpful that you have a midwife booking appointment tomorrow.

@YellowTack I’m so sorry, it’s horrible that you have to deal with this again.

I’ve been quiet the past week or so, I ended up having last week Thursday/Friday off work with a UTI. The cramps I thought were pregnancy cramps were UTI cramps - knee when it felt like I was peeing razor blades and then there was blood in my urine. It’s my last day of antibiotics today and I’m much better, thankfully.

I’m 7w 5d today. Scan is on Tuesday and I’m bricking it. I didn’t get any private scans outside the clinic in the end because I know I’d spiral and end up having them weekly and spending all our money. Just trying to trust the process.

My fatigue is still next level. I have spent my days either at work or asleep. I’m sleeping a ridiculous amount at the moment. I’ve booked the next 4 Fridays off work because I don’t think I can manage a 5 day work week at the moment.

I have pretty bad nausea in the afternoon/evening. Try to eat what I can in the morning/lunch time because by dinner I’ll pick at the food and feel like crap.

I hope everyone is doing ok (as much as they can be).

@Lauralozzle sorry to hear you’ve been feeling unwell, glad the antibiotics kicked in and booking the Fridays off work sounds like a great idea!

I’m 11 weeks tomorrow and currently sat in maternity triage at the hospital waiting for antibiotics. Two lots of urine samples have shown traces of Ecoli, despite me not having any UTI symptoms (although it’s hard to tell between pregnancy symptoms and others) my GP won’t prescribe antibiotics but my midwife team are saying I need them so have sent me here to.

Trying to stop myself googling everything as it only adds to my anxieties!

@HopefulSibling god why wouldnt the prescribe antibiotics thats such bad care!? hope you get sorted and it get it under control.

@Lauralozzle i feel ya on the tiredness im wrecked and the nausea has really kicked in with me aswell. was sure i was going to vomit at work here but forced myself to eat lunch and feel better thankfully! great idea on booking the fridays off!