IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

I've had four scans already. The IVF clinic one, then I was starting to feel very anxious about the whole thing so booked a private one, but in the meantime I started bleeding so was seen in the EPU and they scanned me there. Then the 12 week one, which was early for me at 11 weeks, so I'm not sure how I'll wait until 20 weeks for the next one.
The scans themselves are always lovely and reassuring, but it has never taken long for me to feel like I'm somehow making the pregnancy up afterwards (despite feeling unwel and being incredibly tired].

Yeah I'd definitely want a scan if I had any bleeding. I'm really nervous about experiencing any spotting/bleeding even though I know it can be normal and many people have it, was it all okay and did they provide a reason for it? Which week did you experience it? Sorry for all of the questions I just like to have knowledge prior to stiff like that so I'd be a bit less likely to panic.

I feel similar, literally had the scan yesterday and have photos and a video to look back at and yet I'm like 'was that real?' 'what if it all stops developing' even whilst having very clear symptoms 😂🙈

@strawberrylaces12 I was having on and off tiny tiny bits of spotting which is probably due to the cyclogest pessariea, but it got much heavier one day, to the point where it was constant at 9w0d. I sat in the triage for a few hours, had a scan (they had to do a transvaginal one because my bladder was too full to see anything!) and all looked fine and the obstetrician also did a speculum exam to check my cervix was closed and all was fine. No particular explanation. But probably the progesterone. The very next morning i had a full bright red soaked through my clothes in a few seconds bleed so went back in, but they didnt scan again, just did another vaginal exam. No explanation for that! No bleeding since thankfully. Nipt and later scans all normal. And now i've just had a listen with a foetal doppler (we have them at work) which is lovely and reassuring.

Gosh that must have been terrifying! So glad it all ended up being okay. Thank you for sharing your experience, definitely helps to feel prepared for as many situations/outcomes as possible x

@strawberrylaces12 What fantastic news, super happy for you and your partner, after everything you have been through.

Regarding scans, I think it such a personal feeling and different for everyone. I have now had 8 scans and I am only 17 weeks. I had a huge bleed at 8/9 weeks which was a threatened miscarriage (large bleed in my uterus) so we have basically gone every two weeks since then. It has helped my Wife and I tremendously after having our missed miscarriage earlier in the year. I spoke to the lady who does our private scans and she said she scanned herself daily when she was pregnant (because she could) so I haven't been worried about it affecting the baby. If you want to have some private scans, I would say go for it as long as it doesn't make your anxiety worse. For me personally, it's been money well spent, however, I am aware it's not the same for everyone.

xxx

Thank you!! Aww that's really helpful thank you. The bleed must have been so scary!

I contacted the midwifery team on Monday but didn't get through so left a voice mail. I've heard from them today to be referred into their service. I've got an appointment with them at the end of the month and they did say my 12 week scan may be a week or two after then due to availability, as it can be done up to 14 weeks. She did say having had the 7 week scan and it being all fine is a great thing. But it feels ages to wait so I'm now considering a scan maybe around 10 or 11 weeks depending on when that '12 week' scan will be. Assuming everything keeps going okay until then, so far so good but still feeling like something might go wrong 🙈 hopefully it won't 🤞

How are you getting on? Xxx

@strawberrylaces12 Glad you feel reassured, hopefully you don't have too long now until your 12 week scan?

All good here, we have our 20 week scan in a week, cannot believe we are half way already. I am enjoying the 2nd trimester after being so sick in the 1st, it is nice to be able to do things again.

I hope everyone is doing well, I look forward to hearing everyones updates this year!

x

Funnily enough I was just about to post in here. We went for our private scan, all looking good! I'm 10+1 but measuring 10+5. The little bubba was kicking and waving! Nice heartbeat too. I just can't believe it still, so so happy 😍 I think the 12 week scan is likely to be more like 13 or 14 weeks as my midwife appointment isn't until I'm nearly 12 weeks and then they have to refer to the hospital for the scan date. So I'm glad we did the private scan today 🥰

Aww wow so amazing you've had your 20 week scan!! Glad the 2nd trimester is better. I've not suffered too much with sickness but definitely had nausea especially when I'm hungry. This morning I was heaving over the sink though, thankfully it often seems to be first thing before breakfast so rarely am actually sick. Are you finding you have a bump? I've definitely got more of a bloat bump I think 😂 x

Ah that is fab news, it will be nice to have a later scan, as the bubba will be have grown loads which is really nice to see. I am glad you don't have too much sickness, although the nausea isn't nice even if you aren't being sick!

Our scan is in a week so we haven't had it just yet, but I can feel him move now so that has calmed my anxiety - this is the first scan I am not too anxious for. Bump wise, I am only just getting one now at 19+3 - I was barely showing at all and in the last week its popped slightly. Not enough to know I was pregnant (I just look bloated) but certainly coming. I think 1st pregnancies take longer to show. I feel like it's going to grow quickly now though.

Oh sorry fully misread I think I was eating lunch at the same time 🙈 exciting though, not long!!

Aww what an exciting time. What are you doing in terms of buying babu stuff? Like the timing of that x

Aha no problem, I wish we had already had it, we are so ready to see baby boy again.
We have picked up a few bits of clothing here and there but not bought anything big yet, going to do this after the scan I think - it's been quite fun looking at prams and such.
How about you?

Aww I bet you are 🥰

That's lovely I think once we hit around the 20 week mark we'll start looking. We've already had my mum kindly say she'd like to buy us the pram when the time comes and a couple of other family members have offered to help out too. I think it'll be a lovely experience to pick things out together. Right now though I'm just hoping things keep progressing well and we get to that point 🤞

I had the tiniest amount of light pink spotting on Monday evening, literally only on one occasion and about the size of a 5p coin. The scan was abdominal and I'm not on progesterone so I'm not really sure what is was. Could just be one of those things I guess. I've been lucky not to have any bleeding at all (apart from initial implantation bleeding early on) so even that tiny amount panicked me. Thankfully I've not had anything since. Has anyone else experienced anything like it? Xx

It's so nice to hear everyone's updates. I've been told i'm too high risk to see the community midwives, just because of the reciprocal IVF. No other risk factors.Has anyone else heard that? So i'm currently waiting for my 20 week scan at the end of February and then I should have a hospital appointment somewhere at the end of March in the hospital with the obstetrician.
It means I can't just go to the local clinic but have to go in to the maternity hospital for the rest of my appointments which is much further away. I also really wanted to go with the Domino midwives, because you get to know a very small team of midwives and they come with you for your delivery in hospital as well and then look after you in the first week at home.

I've heard of this happening and also it being used as a reason to recommend an induction... but I'd say you can push back on both those things. There's a lot of coercion in maternity care that relies on you just going along with it. If you're not happy, push back.

Hey folks,

wonderful to hear all your updates also!

@rivierliedje i was summoned to a meeting with obstetrics at 19 weeks and have been put in a “shared care” pathway with both consultant and midwife oversight due to the IVF. However, when I attended I had a very helpful and reassuring conversation with the doctor who said in recent years they actually no longer consider it a significant risk factor if you are otherwise fit and well. She offered me extra growth scans at 32 and 36 weeks which I have accepted, but so far that is the only difference and I am continuing under the midwives until then.

i am also on low dose aspirin due to the ivf, it’s to try and mitigate the slightly increase risk of pre-eclampsia, but otherwise I would say that the HCPs have not shown particularly a lot of interest in this pregnancy.

I agree with @ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick that IVF has been used as a reason for pushing more intervention, and it’s totally reasonable to ask questions about that and challenge clinical reasoning/ask for the evidence behind that reasoning if and when the time comes.

I will caveat this by saying that I had traditional IVF rather than reciprocal, so I don’t know if the reciprocal element of it maybe raises the risk a little more slightly? Worth asking them!

Thanks both.
Apparently having a donor egg increases risks on top of IVF, particularly for pre-eclampsia. I'm a bit annoyed mainly because I was asked a million questions and determined not for Domino because of IVF, then my booking appointment with the community midwives was really quite late and now I can't even have that. But we also aren't so concerned that I should see anyone sooner (I know taking aspirin to help prevent pre-eclampsia is meant to start before 16 weeks, and I'm beyond that now].
Oh well, I'll see how things go from here.

How's everyone getting on? 😊

Just wanted to say we had our 12 week scan on Friday (although I'm 13 weeks this weekend) and all looked good. Amazing to see how much they change!! Had the screening tests done so waiting for those results by the NT measurement was in normal limits so 🤞 got the 20 week scan booked for right at the end of March 🥰

Lovely update! So pleased it went well. Are you feeling ok? I felt really good from week 12 to about week 21.

I am 26 weeks now, feeling ok! Bit fed up and the constant commenting on my bump which is now visible, but otherwise can’t complain.

i have a 32 week growth scan booked for the end of March so that’s the next milestone I’m aiming for.

Thank you! Yeah weirdly I've felt more nauseous this week than for a while. On Wednesday morning my head felt like it was spinning and like the room was turning even when lying down and with my eyes closed. Thankfully that stopped later in the day.

Ooh exciting!! What sort of things do they say? I feel like I really want a proper bump, I think most of mine is bloat at the moment 😂

Ooh congratulations!
I'm 19 weeks now and looking forward to the 20 weeks scan (I'll be 21 weeks then]. I also need to organise my pertussis booster jab.
I'm mostly feeling well, apart from some horrible reflux/heartburn. We are starting to get organised about what we need, making lists etc.

Was anyone else quite nervous about the 20 week scan?

@strawberrylaces12 mostly just commenting on how visible it is/getting bigger/when will you size up your uniform etc etc. it’s fairly benign, but I suppose is just making me conscious of my body in a way I don’t normally feel.

i am also I suppose quite androgynous or soft butch presenting, and a few people have been perplexed that I am pregnant and not my partner, who is more “traditionally” feminine looking. That one I have just sort of ignored!

Hope the nausea eases soon! I was lucky with it, but I definitely felt better after 12-13 weeks.

@rivierliedje I think it’s totally normal to feel a bit anxious about the 20 weeks scan. I was, and I tried to focus on the fact that it was very likely that all would be well, which helped. Writing lists of things to get was also really helpful for me. Really hope it all goes well xx

Hi everyone, I’m aware this is a long established group, which is really lovely, and I hope it’s ok to join? Thanks to @Twomumfamily for suggesting this group to me!

I’ve recently had my third failed FET using embryos made with my wife’s eggs, and feeling really sad and pretty hopeless at the moment. Our planned embryo also didn’t survive the thaw this time, so we had to use her fourth and final embryo. I have endometriosis and she has a lot of fibroids, so between us we’re not in the best of situations! I’ve also done microbiome testing and found out my microbiome wasn’t great, so have been working on improving it and luckily had better results with my recent test.

Has anyone else experienced multiple implantation failures? Any suggestions on what to try next? We have our follow up consultation tomorrow morning so hoping to discuss more testing/get a plan in place to hopefully try again 🤞🏼

Congratulations to everyone who has had success so far! Any stories of hope would be very welcome right now ❤️

Hi @Sunnydaysahead1

I’m so sorry to hear of your three negative outcomes from your transfers. I really sympathise.

i also had three embryo transfers, all negatives, despite no known health conditions and being relatively young (33). I had some blood tests that ruled out clotting disorders that might have been causing implantation issues, and I did a lot of reading around and the evidence all suggested that the most effective thing to do was just try again. (Easier said than done when the costs are huge!)

i ended up taking a year off to save, and did another egg retrieval when I was 34. The first embryo transfer from this retrieval (fourth transfer in total) stuck and I am currently 27 weeks pregnant. We did switch clinics between the two cycles, and I did a slightly different drug protocol which involved a week of suppressing my natural ovulation before stims and slightly longer on stim medication thank in the first round, which was a very short protocol. I had an unmedicated FET on the fourth transfer; previous ones had been medicated. We also switched sperm donor between the two cycles, but this was more to do with the clinics position on CMV status and my CMV status turning out to be negative.

Frustratingly, its totally impossible to tell if any of these variables made a difference in the outcome of the second round, or if it was pure luck. I’m not knowledgeable of the impact of your health conditions, so can offer no helpful advice on that. You don’t mention your ages, but I do know that evidence shows that age is a big factor in outcome of IVF.

i really hope your consultation went well yesterday. Just wanted to offer a bit of solidarity, as I really do sympathise. I felt like all my friends had managed to have kids with a couple of IUIs, and then I had done a fair whack of ivf with no success. It was very demoralising.

All the best!

Ah that's not nice to experience then as it's unwanted. Right now I feel like I want a visible bump and comments but I'm sure it would wear thin quite fast 😅

That's so rude and inappropriate of them to say that. I'm so sorry you're having to face that sort of bigotry! Xx

Sorry I thought I'd replied! Welcome and yes absolutely please do join! 🥰

Really sorry to hear about the journey so far. How did the consultation go? Sorry if I've missed anything but would you consider genetic testing of the embryos if you haven't already? Thankfully my second transfer worked but the consultant said we could think about testing the embryos if we did have a few failed transfers.

Random but one thing my consultant mentioned before the second transfer which worked was taking omega 3 supplements can help with the uterus lining. I took omega 3 capsules for about a cycle or so before, interestingly my lining was the thinnest I'd had it (still enough at 8mm on transfer day) but the embryo implanted and stuck so many more quality over thickness amount. Might be worth asking about anyway 😊