IUI & Fertility in SSC

[solanks]

Hi everyone,

I've struggled to find any groups that are focussed specifically on same sex couples trying to conceive (that do not have any fertility issues).

My partner and I are currently on round three of IUI using donor sperm. The first two tries we did we attempted the natural route (so no medication and no ovulation trigger injection). We decided to go down the medicated route on our third try and are currently in the two week wait, waiting for our results today!

This whole process has been emotionally, physically and financially challenging, so much more than we ever expected, and we would love to hear from other same sex couples on this topic who are in a similar situation to ours. We want to exchange stories, offer each other support, give advice and also recommendations (as there is so much conflicting information out there and each clinic's protocols vary too, which we found bizarre).

Looking forward to hearing your stories; be they successful, unsuccessful, or even if you are completely new to this journey ✨

@Mumplus01 Ah I bet time is flying, I can't believe how fast time goes at the moment. We are 10 weeks now, have our first midwife appointment tomorrow, it is finally starting to sink in I think.

Can I check with those who have been successful with a FET, did you do anything to prepare? Like change in diet, exercise, supplements etc.? Just thinking of ways to try and prepare my body when it comes to it. Or maybe just trying to get on with things as normal is best, who knows 😂

Edit: oh and if you did change anything, how long before?

Hey @strawberrylaces12

to be honest not really! I had been taking a prenatal multivitamin every morning since before the egg collection anyway, and I had hardly any alcohol for about a month before, and then none at all from about 2 weeks before, and one caffeinated drink a day. I stayed in my usual routine before and after the fet, went climbing, rode my bike etc.

I very much pushed it all to the back of my mind as much as I could to be honest and tried to stay busy and distracted. This helped my mental state a lot, but I doubt it has any bearing on whether the fet works.

do you have a rough idea of dates yet? X

@strawberrylaces12 After my failed fresh I started acupuncture with someone who specialised in fertility treatments - who knows if it helped but it was very calming. I didn't do anything else differently, my Dr upped my progesterone and we did fully medicated but that was it really, I just took my prenatal supplements as usual.
I was much more relaxed this time and even treated myself to a glass of wine two evenings before the transfer.
Remember it will be a different embryo, and your body will have recovered from the collection which are all really good things!

I was taking vitamins anyway and I barely drink alcohol. I did cut down on tea to one cup a day and I don't drink coffee. That was it though. Still running, cycling, walking etc.

Thanks all, I really appreciate your answers to that. I had a bit of a panic if I should be eating really healthy in advance. I eat fine but I think the last month or so I've maybe been a bit less healthy as I've felt quite fed up. I think I had quite a lot of motivation to eat well etc on the lead up to the egg collections for months beforehand. Maybe it's just because the nights are drawing in and it's colder weather so I've had more comfort food, again not particularly unhealthy but just not as healthy as I was eating. I might add in a bit more exercise and activity if I can too, I have pushed myself to go for some more walks in the evening with my wife even when it's dark as I know it helps my mental health.

I guess it's all about balance and I know I'll be indulging more in the lead up to and during Christmas but I'll try and have some more healthy days too.

Not sure timing wise yet, my natural cycles have definitely been a bit longer since starting IVF so it's hard to predict. Will have to wait and see. I guess I just have to distract myself in the meantime!

Defintely don’t worry about having a few treats and enjoying some comfort food on wintery days. I’d say the more comforted and relaxed you feel the better.

in the run up to my first egg collection I ate mega healthy and none of the transfers worked. By the second egg collection I could not be arsed with any kind of regimen, I just had my normal healthy with some treats diet, and was much happier and less stressed! Doubt it made any difference to the outcome, but I was definitely happier in my brain!

thinking if you, you’re doing so well with the waiting x

How is everyone doing?
I'm 12 weeks pregnant now and had a normal NIPT come back recently. My 12 week scan was at 11 weeks and that was all fine. We are telling family on Christmas day. I've sent out cards that say not to open them until I tell them to so they can all do it at the same time. It still doesn't quite feel real, despite being so exhausted.

@rivierliedje currently on the sofa holding a baby... can't entirely believe she's ours. She arrived at nearly 43 weeks! We've already had to declare whether we're keeping or discarding our donor sperm at the clinic as we're at a full year since we originally received it... and we have decided to pay for a couple of years of storage up front. Time will tell whether we try again or stay here. Having the possibility is nice.

I'm glad for your scan and NIPT news. Fingers crossed telling family goes just how you hope it will!

Congratulations!! How lovely to hear 🥰 I hope the sleepless nights aren't too awful although I'm sure it's worth it!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick congratulations! Hope you are all doing well!

glsd to hear your good news @rivierliedje I totally sympathise with it not feeling real!

I am 19 weeks pregnant currently. Have our 20 week scan just after Christmas which will be a good milestone to reach, and I think I am starting to feel some flutters down there, which has made it feel slightly more real. I’ll stil be glad when they are more defined movements though!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick How wonderful! Enjoy your festive cuddles.
43 weeks is quite something, wow! How was it?
My mother will be over the moon and my siblings will be happy, my dad I'm slightly more iffy on and one set of grandparents. Though really I think they'll be happy. The real difficulty will be stopping my mother putting everything all over social media and not letting me have the chance to tell people myself.

@Quickdraw23 Ooh the 20 week scan will be a good milestone. I hope those flutterings turn in to real movements for you soon.

Waiting for the 20 week scan is going to feel like forever, I think, as my 12 week scan was so early. I'm finally having my booking appointment with the midwife in a few weeks (at just shy of 15 weeks].

Who was it that had the checklist of things to do by milestone and the what to sort/buy spreadsheet? Those seem like great ideas.

What lovely updates!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick Congratulations, just in time for Christmas too! Hope you are recovering well!

@rivierliedje Congrats, 12 weeks is a lovely milestone.

@Quickdraw23 Gosh, 20 weeks nearly, time is flying isn’t it! How are you feeling?

I am 15 weeks and also feeling flutters which is a very strange sensation, we had our NIPT at 11 weeks and got the all clear and found out we are having a boy!

I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas, and thank you again to you all, this thread has been such an amazing support over what turned out to be a rather hard year!

xxx

Hi everyone,

Hope you all are keeping well and enjoying the holidays!

I’ve enjoyed reading through everyone’s updates ☺️

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick Congratulations! Only feels like yesterday when we were messaging on here and you were telling us about your IUI! How time flies. My love to you and your family ✨

@rivierliedje I know this stage is a big milestone and getting the all clear from the NIPT is also a relief. My partner and I were so nervous about that and felt a huge weight off our shoulders once we got the results.

I can’t remember if it was me or someone else who posted that list! I’ll have a think and DM you if I find it or remember. I think it may have been someone else, though I do have a spreadsheet if you need. I know that the internet’s and social media suggestions can be a lot and overwhelming!!

@Quickdraw23 Omg! Where has the time gone and how are you feeling? I’m so happy for you and I hope that your 20 week scan goes well and that you’re feeling ok during this stage of your pregnancy 🤍

@Twomumfamily Congrats on your wonderful news and I hope that you are doing ok! ✨

@strawberrylaces12 Thinking of you and hope you and your partner are keeping well xx

For my partner and I, this is our last night of it being just the two of us! She opted for an elective c-section and we are booked in tomorrow at 7.30am — she is currently 39+2. Needless to say we are both nervous but excited at the same time! Desperate to meet her and just hoping that everything goes ok and as smooth as it can. Will update everyone again on here when I can.

My love to you all in the meantime and wishing everyone a Happy & Healthy New Year ✨

@solanks Good luck to you for tomorrow!! That's amazing.
I would be very grateful for your spreadsheet if you don't mind sharing. Thanks

@solanks oh my gosh congratulations for tomorrow. So close to me! I hadn't done the maths. Wow how lovely. I had a section too (unplanned in my case!), so sending extra love to your partner for her recovery and hoping that goes well too. Exciting times ahead for you all. Feel free to DM me - if I can answer any questions I will

Good luck tomorrow to you and your partner @solanks !! Will be thinking of you x

on a side note the 20 week scan on Friday went well and all looking ok! Finally starting to feel excited ☺️

So exciting to hear everyone's updates 😍

I also have some lovely news too just in time for the new year. The clinic ended up calling very last minute to book us in for a FET which I had right at the end of November. I tested positive early December. This morning I went for the first scan (I'm 7+1 I think) and there was a little bean with a heartbeat measuring 7+3 and the nurse said developing very well 🥰

Still very early days but I just cannot believe it. A few days after I tested positive I got really ill with a virus and fever and was so worried it would have impacted on the pregnancy. I had it in my head there would be nothing there at the scan, how wrong I was! After our total failed fertilisation in August time I would never have imagined getting to this point. So so happy 😊

Please everyone keep updating in here with how you're getting on with pregnancies and babies!!

@strawberrylaces12 wow!!! Congratulations. Keep us updated with everything, I really hope you have an easy ride of pregnancy. I'm so delighted about this news! Happy new year indeed 🎊🎉

Congratulations @strawberrylaces12 that is fantastic news! So pleased for you!

I also had a virus during the TTW and was convinced it would have affected things but it didn’t.

Hope you aren’t feeling too sick and tired!

@strawberrylaces12 that's great news!

@ProfessorplumBilliardroomCandlestick thank you so much! 🥰

@Quickdraw23 Thank you!! Oh that is really reassuring thank you. I'd read that fevers in pregnancy are not ideal but obviously a lot of people do get them, I just worried as it was so early on. Definitely queasy and have thrown up a couple of times (once on Christmas morning 😂) but manageable so far. Also tired and taking lots of naps but again not too bad. Fingers crossed the symptoms stay manageable but to be honest at this point throw anything at me I'm so grateful to have got to this stage!

@rivierliedje Thank you! 😊

Also I meant to ask... today at our ultrasound we mentioned to the nurse about having a private scan before the 12 week scan. The nurse seemed a bit sceptical and said it's best not to over scan with ultrasound (possible slight risk) but mentioned a couple of companies locally if we wanted to. Did many of you pay to have a private scan in between? I just hate the idea of getting to 12 weeks and missed something if that makes sense. Probably just over thinking!

@strawberrylaces12 i held off any private scans between my viability scan at 7w5d and my NHS dating scan which think I had at 12w6d. It did feel like a long wait, but I reasoned to myself that if anything untoward had happened between those dates, finding it at 10 or 11 weeks instead of 12 weeks wouldn’t change the management. I also felt that although an extra scan might reassure me in the moment, I would probably have just felt the same anxiety by the next day anyway, and I risked becoming a serial scanner and blowing a lot of cash!

it was worth the wait for me - the little blob with tiny nubs at 7 weeks had a distinctive baby shaped outline at nearly 13 week, it was so amazing seeing the change and the detail.

what I did do is have a cheeky private scan at 16 weeks, because the 20 week scan felt so long to wait and I wanted to peep again. I reasoned to myself that this was the time most people went for “gender” scans, so although we aren’t finding out the sex of the baby, it was worth going just to check in.

I found this scan helpful as it gave me some actual interesting and reassuring info, such as that my placenta is posterior, so I might feel movement sooner rather than later, and also they counted four heart chambers, which was reassuring as that is of course the number I was hoping for! We used window to the womb to do this scan, and it cost £60. We told them we didn’t want to know the sex and they were really diligent about not letting anything slip!

that’s just my personal experience though, and if you think an earlier private scan would help you there’s totally nothing wrong with that!

That's so useful to hear, thank you for taking the time to explain it. Really great to hear your experience and view point. I've got to remember that, going through IVF, we've had a scan at 7w when most people wouldn't even have their first one until 12/13w anyway. We've seen the heartbeat and good measurement, I know it's still very early days but as you say it's that long until the next one. I think going through the fertility journey and some of the challenges we've faced just automatically puts me in the mindset that something will go wrong even though statistically I know we're in a pretty strong position 😊