FET / IVF August 2023 - thread 2

[KG1244]

We filled up the first thread fast!!

@TTCMama17 I went to a yoga class last night but otherwise I've gone cold turkey on the exercise and finding it hard.

I'm feeling good thanks, can't say I feel any different still, it's strange. How are you?

Gosh you have all been v chatty today!

Congrats on the ECs!

I finally have news to report, my withdrawal bleed has started!

@Lolly2507
@Ellenn

thank you for your reply’s. They did test my estrogen yesterday and have advised to lower my dose and to come back on Monday for another scan. I hope we can continue with our egg collection!

Warning - rant post!

Get a message from a friend last night telling me they are three months pregnant. Why does these messages always floor me. Even now, in my 2WW. Probably doesn’t help that I know they were literally trying for 5 minutes. It just feels so unfair.

Hey @KG1244 and everyone. I have been reading through this thread since the beginning, nervous to post anything, but @KG1244 your comment really resonated with me.
I am also on 2ww, only a couple of days post transfer and just as we were starting IVF my best friend announced she was pregnant. What makes matters worse is she was very negative in the past about IVF when she thought they may need it too. I'm happy for her, but of course im jealous! I feel like I can't talk to her or see her and usually I would reach out to her if I needed cheering up. Other half has been fantastic, but sometimes you need a girlie ear don't you!
This is my first round of IVF so I'm not sure what to expect now, but trying to relax, as much as possible.

@KG1244 I know exactly how you feel. Everything just stops in that moment and you feel a gut punch like no other. It’s never easy, and being in the TWW I think heightens how much you want it and how fragile it is right now. Sending love and thoughts. Own your sad tho - it’s valid and completely normal. Does she know your journey? Was she compassionate with her message?

@CRJ hey and welcome. So sorry you’re feeling low too. It’s horrible - especially when you know her opinion on ivf. Does she know what you’re doing? And was her ivf opinion before you started?

I’ve had a really similar thing. One of my closest mates told me a few months back and everything just came crashing down and I was of course really congratulating but I cried when I got home. I’ve been really supportive of her but 2 weeks ago we met up, and I said all the nice things a mum to be wants to hear and gushing over her bump and her. We spoke about me too but was a bit fractious at times. But since then, she has blanked my messages and not replied at all. I sent her a gift this week which wasn’t easy and she never said thank you or messaged. I asked her in another message whether there was an issue, I’m sorry if I had upset her but let’s talk, and she blanked that too. I know she’s pregnant but I am also going through a lot too, and it’s not easy and i honestly don’t understand. Yes I told her I struggled when she told me about her pregnancy, but I also said I was so pleased for her and I was honest. So I’m feeling so weird and low about it, so can resonate so much with you guys.

I feel very negative even tho a positive thing is going on. Hope you’re both okay. Did your friend consider your feelings when you were both told?

Hey @GCS34 yeah she knew I would be having IVF, but at the time she was being negative, she thought she would be too. I do think she feels bad about it now.

In regards to your friend, I was say absolutely 'F' her! Doesn't sound like she's being supportive of you or even begins to understand how you must be feeling. I can certainly relate to having to put on a brave face and be all gushy, but then getting home and sobbing to my fiancé. Doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong, and even if you had been a bit off, if she was a good friend you'd like to think she's understand.

What I keep trying to remind myself is that all the people around me getting pregnant doesn't change my journey and won't make me pregnant or not. Its so hard though and if we're honest it does seem to add pressure to the situation in a weird way.

I have good moments and bad moments. One min I feel very positive about it working and the next I feel a bit lost and down. Its such a weird feeling isn't it!

@CRJ welcome to the group. Don’t worry, a very close friend of mine had a baby last month and I hadn’t seen her for about six months cause I found it so painful. She was incredibly supportive and we still communicated. I just felt like it would be so challenging to see how go through her pregnancy when that’s all I want RN. Do want you need to do to protect yourself. You’re the priority here. If she is a good friend, she will understand ❤️

@GCS34 thank you! I think you’re right - everything is so heightened right now. So message wasn’t the clearest - I’m actually friends with the guy and he messaged me. I’ve only told a few close friends what’s going on and he doesn’t know. Echo what @CRJ has said about your friend. Fuck them! People need to be more self aware. You are an amazing person to make all the effort - I know it’s like bloody torture sometimes. I don’t understand the blanking, not that it’s an acceptable excuse but maybe she just doesn’t know what to say.

@Ellenn whats even more frustrating about my fertility clinic is they expressed concern about my bleeding but still completely unwilling to do anything to help unless I pay extra 🙄

I’ve actually now been to an NHS EPU who were absolutely amazing. My hcg is looking good but they’ve booked me in for a scan tomorrow morning in case it’s implanted somewhere it shouldn’t and that’s what’s causing the bleeding.

@KG1244 and @CRJ I completely get how you feel. It wasn’t my friend but my sister that happened for me with. Last year after I found out about my fertility issues and decided to try for a baby on my own, the following month my younger sister decided to start trying and got pregnant straight away. She actually had the baby in the early hours of this morning and yet I’m still on this journey and petrified about something being wrong again for me. I’m happy for her but I’m also anxious about meeting my niece and being able to bond with her because of what I’m going through.

@GCS34 I wonder if your friend is maybe feeling guilty and isn’t sure what to say to you but she could at least communicate that. Ghosting is never nice, i find that so rude of your friend to just ignore you completely.

@CRJ what sort of negativity was it towards ivf? From a, I don’t agree with it point of view, or about the process itself? How are you feeling now?

thanks for your response. And yes - 100%. I thought I left all this at school, not at 34 years old and with a mother to be. Honestly. The thing is, we’re very open in that she’s part of the journey and has been asking all the right questions and genuinely interested, but obviously something has just flicked and she’s clearly got something that she is upset with Me about. 🤷‍♀️

and this I agree with. I am very much NOT the type who is a ‘victim’ and woe to me for what we’re having to go through, as that doesn’t get it to you any sooner, just makes the process miserable 😂what do you do for work? It’s hard to just smile and pretend you’re not injecting yourself every night, but it will pass, and you WILL have a family. It’s when not if.

thanks @Doughnut89 and @KG1244 for your replies. I’m not sure it’s guilt - she’s clearly got something she believes is a valid reason to act this way. I think it’s honestly just something I’ve possibly said (or didn’t say!) and now apparently I’m the worst human in the world. I have given up worrying as much, more Just sad about it. I would think that she doesn’t know what to say if she hadn’t been really good and listening about it in the past. Which makes zero sense. Anyway, one thing I do know is it doesn’t warrant this amount of energy of any of us. We need to think of ourselves sometimes. Hope your friend has been compassionate towards you. Xx

Hugs @KG1244, the announcements are so hard aren’t they. I find that after about a week I find it easier but it is so painful at the beginning.

I’m so sorry about your experience with your friend @GCS34

My withdrawal bleed is at heavy spotting.

@GCS34 she was just very negative about how 'ivf never works' and you 'see all these couples who have tried ivf for years unsuccessfully'. I know this is rubbish, I know people who've been very successful with it and I am hopeful it will be the same for us, but those comments do get into your head.

To be perfectly honest, I've been very tearful today. I know I will be devastated if it hasn't worked. I am trying to stay positive and not think about it constantly, but I spend the majority of my day thinking about it. I know I'm not the only person who's going through this..!

It's also an exciting time..! I've had bouts of excitement throughout all the stages so far. Wishing everyone on this group so much luck!!

Well that is rubbish @CRJ, I know multiple people that IVF has worked for. In fact most of them have had two DC through IVF.

I know, it's complete sh*t and shame on her for saying so really, but as I'm sure you can relate it's not what you need to hear at a time like this.
Sorry for being negative! I know I need to keep my chin up! I do feel very fortunate to have got to this stage.

Hi all!

Just wanted to introduce myself!

So currently on my first round of IVF. Started so unexpectedly and so quickly!

A bit of background - Been down regulated on zoladex for 6 months after my 2 endometriosis surgeries this year. So everything was pretty much switched off for sometime...

I'm currently on day 10 of stims. On 150 menopur, 300 Gonal-F..

Surprisingly the stims side affects! Haven't been as bad as I thought they would be.... a bit teary hear and and there...

Been told before starting that most likely won't be successful on my first round of IVF. And there's a 20% chance.

Soooo, went for my scan today. And have 3 dominant follicles, and the rest aren't looking to hopeful...

Having another scan on Monday, and most likely for egg collection next week.

I know it's not many. But keep telling myself it's quality over quantity.... and happy to see 3 dominant follicles today, compared 1, 2 days ago. So let's see what Monday shows.

Will keep you all updated how it goes!

@Doughnut89 thats great to hear I also had a good experience with EPU on my last transfer when I miscarried. What stage will you be at? That’s horrible the clinic treating you like that as ultimately they transferred the embryo, it would take a 5 min scan to check it’s in the right place etc.

i hope the embryo is looking great though 🤞🤞🤞what time is your appointment?

@CRJ that’s not nice to hear for anyone - going through it or not. No one needs negativity when going through one of the hardest things to test a relationship / yourself. Positivity is key and I can only assume she says it because she doesn’t understand. Well for every negative theirs a positive - it’s people who seek out the negative that I struggle to understand.

I’m sorry you’ve felt tearful. I had a sob too. The friend messaged back and it was a bit sad to read. But please don’t let those negative thoughts take you away with the approve thing that is going on right now. It’s only positive at this point. When is test day? Focus on the successes from this journey - what you’ve learnt, new friends, resilience, science, appreciating how amazing your body is and steps up when it’s told to, and the embryos you’ve created. Everything else on top of that is a bonus 🤍

Welcome @Warrier87 i originally only had 2 dominant follicles but a few more end up catching up and I had six collected in the end (only 4 reached blastocyst stage) but I feel like there’s still hope for you 🤞

Thanks @Ellenn 🙏 my scan is at 10.40am so at least I find out fairly early in the day.

@crj I echo what @Hopingforno2in2023 said, I know a few people who it’s worked first time for. That’s just so insensitive to say something like that, especially when so many people need ART

Hi all. Hoping to have my fet September, started withdrawal bleed yesterday. Is there a September fet thread? Good luck to all xx

@Mez456 hey. And theirs a few of us in here that are in the FET sept camp. Me, @Lowo21, @Lolly2507 @kirstysmbcI think, then @TTCMama17 has her TF Monday.
their isn’t a sept thread I don’t think - we’re kinda all just on here through all the months and cycles as everyone is at different stages / times😅 it started in July and will continue till we alllll have BFP 😂 so join the camp.

@Hopingforno2in2023 thanks hun. How are you getting on?

@GCS34 - ahh transfer is on Tuesday! I am so nervous and not sure why 😪. Think Progesterone and Oestrogen are messing with my emotions!

I am also falling asleep super easy after starting Cylogest. I’ve spent all morning deep cleaning the house because not sure how I’m going to feel
after transfer and wanted to use tomorrow to fully relax!

how is everyone else doing?

@GCS34 love this! We will keep going till everyone has a BFP!!!

@TTCMama17 definitely a good idea to prep the house so you can relax. I completely get being nervous, it’s the whole build up to this point. I would also suggest getting any food in that you think you might fancy. Also I’m a hormonal nightmare right now so welcome to the club 😊

@GCS34 Also love the positivity! I'm expecting egg collection this week and then we'll see when there might be a transfer. Not looking good for many eggs, but still have one frozen left if all else fails. Next scan tomorrow and will maybe know more then.

@TTCMama17 ah sorry. Getting days mixed up. Awww what’s making you nervous? this is your first isnt it? I’ve no idea what to expect other than similar to a smear. Remind me what grade / day it is? Have they given you a success % or anything? We got one but not sure it helps or not!

well at least you’ll have a nice clean home to bring the embryo home to! Change your bedding - that’s always a lovely treat. Is sleepiness a side effect?