FET/IVF/ICSI July 2023

[Olivia199]

Hello!

Just wanted to start a thread and see if anyone was going ahead with a transfer in July.

I've just had my nurse consult and hoping to have my second FET in July (my first was successful in Jan 2021 and I had my wonderful DD).

The first time around I was of course beyond nervous, excited, terrified it wouldn't work etc. This time it feels like that's doubled! I'm a private patient so I've saved everything for this but should it fail, it'll be a long long time before I could afford to try again.

To add some nerves, I'd need to be cycle day one no later than the 6th July to go ahead, as my clinic is moving locations. I'm currently due on the 5th...! So every chance it's moved to a Sept cycle.

Would be nice to have some company!

:)

Also any tips on how to motivate myself to work / focus on other goals? I am able to distract myself with tv but really don’t feel up for going back to work tomorrow.

@21C I've not heard of ovitrelle being given after embryo transfer, I thought ovitrelle was used as a trigger for ovulation. That's interesting.

@ASGIRC wow that's all so exciting, glad you got more info from your team. I've only shared it with one friend (so she can pick me up after egg collection) and don't want to tell others so low key and omitting is defo guna be my way. Part of me just doesn't want to see people during it, but I know that's not good. There will be a couple of friends I make excuses not to see during the time but yes it's nice to have the support of others on here who understand it all

Hope you are resting up @Olivia199

@orchid29 Thank you!!

Im in Lisbon

All my family and friends know Im doing it solo (chronically single, and these days I actually prefer it - Im 40). The only people who dont love the idea are my dad and stepdad, as they are old fashioned in their belief that a child should have a mother and a father.
But they are not completely against it, at least to my face.

I just dont want them to ask me any questions during the TWW. Its easier to do that if they dont know there is a TWW!

From what I am aware, shared motherhood is a popular method amongst same sex couples! I think its lovely!

@ttcsolomumtobe yeah, im definitely avoiding some friends who are heavy drinkers, as I dont want to have to explain WHY Im not drinking at the moment, until I feel comfortable announcing the pregnancy!
Have lunch with some friends on Saturday, and if they ask Im gonna go with antibiotics for a gum infection. Metrodinazole. Its a kind of antibiotic that will have you throwing up your guts if you even sip a bit of alcohol. So its a great excuse!

I just dont like lying!!! I want to tell everyone!!! But I also dont... I dont want to have to share disappointing news, if thats the case...

@orchid29 sorry to hear that family were not as positive about the shared motherhood as they could have been. I actually think it's amazing that that can be the case. That you both have some wonderful ties to that baby and both been involved in sharing a part of what isn't an easy journey, yet I imagine could be harder if one had to sit back on the sidelines and not feel as involved, it's wonderful that option is there.

As a solo person I often feel lucky that I don't have another person's feelings to consider on this journey, just managing my own.

I think any baby that arisen from fertility treatment would still be loved unconditionally as it's so big of an emotional and financial decision for someone to take.

Thank your for your lovely words @ASGIRC @ttcsolomumtobe! It is really lovely to hear.

We do have a daughter already that my wife carried after an IUI (so her eggs) and I guess they were assuming the second one would be my eggs. They’re already coming around but as you said @ASGIRC it’s easier not to deal with anything during the TWW.

It's really special to hear everyone's stories and I'm sorry not everyone has been as accepting.
Really glad to know that we have a safe and supportive space here to discuss our journeys, whatever the outcome.

@ASGIRC I think you do right we need to be guarded with some things, the odd little white lie isn't too bad and can only use the antibiotic thing for a certain length of time but atleast it gets you out seeing friends.

When I did my 3 IUIs I shared everything with friends, wouldn't say I regret it but defo won't be doing it again, just so much extra pressure and things to think about and when they don't have the answers it's hard for them to know what to say. As we know fertility treatment. Is all consuming too.

I have one friend who fell pregnant after my first IUI failed, she wasn't trying, admittedly said she wasn't ready for a baby and 2 days later found out she was 6 weeks pregnant so that was hard. Her baby is approaching 6 weeks and she's not turned into the Mum type I expected, I sound terribly judgemental and jealous I know and so far with somethings she's said I've managed to breath it out and smile but feel like hormones and actually going through the process will make me even more frustrated by it all... So feel the space is needed for the friendship save... Or just to not look like a crazed woman haha 😂

@orchid29 I wish I could give you some tips but I feel like I will be the same as you. That 2WW is guna feel hellishly slow

I’ve really found my group of people on here! My husband and I have not told one other person this time round, I felt like last time on our first failed round I was too open with a lot of people and although I know they meant well, the constant questions throughout the whole thing was overwhelming. Especially sharing when it didn’t work. One of those was my cousin who went through the same process a couple of months later and after being the one asking the most questions (at times quite invasive ones) made the announcement that she wouldn’t be telling anyone her timescales as she wanted to keep it sacred for her and her husband! I understand people handle things differently but I was a bit taken aback and felt like I wasn’t really given that option especially from her. I’ve taken a big step back in my friend group as I just feel for now that’s the best decision for me as I navigate this.

@orchid29 shared motherhood is so lovely. We have friends of a friend who done the same and they recently brought their daughter to our mutual friends birthday party and she was just a gorgeous wee thing, full of life and joy at a party with her 2 mums.

@ASGIRC it really is exciting, all the best for tomorrow!
I have been open about going through IVF with a few people but not about specific dates as really don't want the pressure, however I've found the context helps people be a bit more sensitive (lots of pregnancy announcements for example 😬).
@AnaS86 I've heard Salty food helps with the bloating. I've got a hot water bottle as feeling quite sore at the moment and haven't really moved from the sofa since I got back.

I definitely feel like, if I dont get my BFP in a couple of weeks, it will be easier to just say "oh well, Ive tried once, but it didnt take", than have everyone waiting on my OTD for me to go "well... actually, its negative". And then people wont know what to say or how to act and I dont want any of that!!!

Though obviously I am very much hoping it WONT be negative! And Im feeling really positive about it.

@Walker12 thank you - I'll give it a go.

Sorry to miss your earlier update. 9 is a great amount. They originally thought they'd get 9 from me and were very happy with that number so I wouldn't worry at all. I hope you feel a bit more comfortable soon

@Walker12 fortunately I dont have to worry about pregnancy announcements.

My friends have either already had their babies or are not having any babies!

but yeah, the pressure is the real thing! people dont realise how much pressure they put on you, while trying to be well meaning!

@AnaS86 hope you feel less bloated soon!!

@ASGIRC good luck for tomorrow, will wait to hear the updates 😊 can I just say that you going through this on your own, well you must be some kind of super hero!! I said to my husband when I was having a melt down with the injections that I don't know how ladies do this as a single, you must be so strong!

@orchid29 I think your situation is lovely, either way the baby will have 2 parents that love them like no other and I think what we all go through with IVF will make us love and appreciate our little ones so much more!

We also didn't say a word to anyone at first, everyone keeps asking 'when you having a baby', whilst I just want to punch them in the face and say when are you going to stop being so nosey, I smile and reply "when I no longer need freedom, sleep or money". Absolute lies but I don't know what else to say, it's hard.

After our failed transfer in Jan, we felt the need to tell my parents but them only. We really needed the extra support, I was also fed up of my mums hints of a grandchild 😏

I've also disowned friends for a long time now as I'm fed up of questions, they also all have babies or young kids so it's hard when that's nearly all they speak about. I've actually also developed no motivation to live anymore and that's really lame but this IVF journey makes you feel so depressed some times.

Let's up it's all worth it in the end ladies 🙂

Can't help you as I'm still SO bloated 8 days after my transfer, I look 6 months pregnant, how cruel is that. Just want to let you know you're not bloating alone 😆

@wtawtaw I think the trick is that I didnt use my own eggs, so no stims. Just prep for transfer. So its been fairly easy for me so far.

We shall see when the actual baby arrives!!!

Well you're still mentally a super hero in my eyes 😝

@wtawtaw hahah thanks!!! I actually know quite a few women whove done it (in Portugal, not in the UK), so it feels... easier, kinda, to know that other people I know have done it and it went well!

I also have a lot of family support here.

Which is why I left my amazing career in London! I miss it every day, but this was more important, and I couldnt do it on my own, alone, in London.

Thank you @AnaS86 , they did say its a good number so keeping positive 😊
Apparently salt helps draw the fluid away or something..however I have no backing to this just a couple of Google searches!

Yes I agree the general updates are so much easier, I also think it reduces any worry for the other people so I know my Mum will worry for example if she knew I had my EC today, but giving her a general update of 'everything is going fine so far' helps put her mind at ease without the specifics! But equally I can totally see why people would want more involved support.

Honestly the pregnancy announcements have been relentless recently, I have now got a message ready to copy and paste which feels a bit heartless but it takes the emotional sting out of having to word a nice reply.

@wtawtaw I am so sorry its taking a toll on you, but really hope this time it works out and you will get your good news soon so you can move on from this shitty chapter

Oh also for anyone jealous of the Tuna sarnie, you really didn't need to be... (blocked the trust name purely because I am paranoid of outing myself on Mumsnet!)

@Walker12 yeah, Ive had loads of "so, when are you trying for the baby??" questions and have taken to reply "its ongoing, currently in a waiting pattern"

My mom knows I have a 3AA embryo, but shes the only one IRL who knows, I think.

The copy/paste message is hilarious!!! You must be "at that age"! LOL

Looks positively yummy! LOL

Good luck for you phone call tomorrow @Walker12 ! I've just seen your sandwich post and assume you had egg collection today?? Hope the sandwich tasted better than it looked haha

😂😂 to be fair I was starving so did eat it but it wasn't exactly what I was craving!
Thank you @wtawtaw yes hoping for some good news tomorrow.