TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

@Sofie19 I was just taking a day from
here as I felt I talked too much about myself here lately. Also I needed a day to process the news of yesterday. My update also felt bad yesterday but my follow up today changed all that.

I am so sorry to hear that your update was not what you were hoping for. My update was also shockingly bad yesterday. So from 16 day 3 embryos yesterday only 2 made it to blastocyst. They were graded really good and biopsied and frozen. They were also watching a further 4 until day 6 and all 4 made it, 1 excellent, 2 good/avarage and one average/ poor but good enough to biopsy and freeze. So it was a big shock to hear all 4 made it today. My heart has been all over the place. We have 6 biopsied now and results will be back in a few weeks. The reality is we are not yet out of the woods as they can all come back genetically not viable. The embryologist did say that there was a trend of good embryos potentially being euploid but he has said no gurantees as he has seen excellent looking embryos be aneuploid.

I really hope and pray for one good embryo that sticks. This is all we need.

@SErunner I have read that slow growing embryos tend to be girls and that growing embryos to blastocyst favours boys and that there isn’t much difference in terms of success. Interesting if it’s true!

@faith2024 oh please don't think that, I shouldn't have asked so many questions! I'm sorry! That's a really pleasing result with your update today, well done!! Relax for a couple of weeks at least.

@SErunner thank you! Such kind words. How are you doing? Do you have many symptoms yet?

Well I had another update today and it was better. We have actually got 5 being biopsied now (!) so a turnaround too. I have an embarrassingly low amh for my age so I consider this a result. The quality of blastocyst varies from very good to average. Their grading system is not like what I'm used to understanding so I can't really compare like for like but I suppose it's irrelevant if they are being biopsied anyway. If they all come back abnormal then I will at least know why we are having problems!

@Sofie19 I am so pleased for you! That’s a relief to hear. 5 blasts are a a feat for a lot of people. I always knew there was going to be a massive drop off so anything up to 4 was my big hope but 2 shocked me as they would drop further after testing. I have to say yesterday was really sobering and I am much more aware this whole thing is 50/50 despite everything aligning.

And I don’t mind sharing I just end up writing essays. When I first started using these forums in Dec/Jan I learned so much from people’s experiences so hopefully someone may feel the same one day.

So very pleased for you both - amazing numbers for testing. Remind me how long it is roughly for the results?

Yes I have also read the myth about slow growers being girl embryos. I think it comes from more boys being conceived via IVF and the theory being they are the faster growing and therefore more favourable embryos? I'm sure fertility consultants would rubbish it 😂 I was certain our daughter was a girl from pretty much day 1. To the point I'd have told the sonographer they were wrong if they'd tried to tell me otherwise 😂

I'm doing okay. Still really anxious not helped by my nausea coming and going. I am consistently really tired and have sore boobs but with my daughter the nausea was unrelenting, so this feels odd. Keep reminding myself people get different symptoms in different pregnancies though, and that I'm not on progesterone this time which could surely have an effect. I've got another scan booked for next week when I'll be 8 weeks based off the dating from the first scan. If that goes well I think I'll start to relax a bit as the miscarriage drops off significantly if all well at that point 🤞

Thanks @SErunner . The wait time is 2 weeks for testing so not long to go.

Each pregnancy is different like you say, my sister had one child that resulted in severe morning sickness and nothing with the second child. Keep going day by day before you know it you will be at 12 weeks mark.

@SErunner glad things are still going okay. I'm sorry the nausea is unhelpfully inconsistent...I can understand it goes it probably makes you anxious! Good for you for getting another can booked - I think the reassurance can b helpful and comforting!

Hi all, how is everyone doing? It’s been a nice quiet week with no updates and no meds to worry about so it has been great.

I had an unexpected call from clinic for our PTG-A results. Out of the 6 embryos, 2 are euploid. I am so grateful with two and is what I was hoping for. I know that there are never any gurantees with outcome hut so glad to be at this point after months of uncertainty . I am also glad we had distinct results and no inconclusive findings. The other 4 had genetic abnormalities (Trisomy 18, complex aneuploidy etc).

@SErunner & @Sofie19 I hope all is well at your ends.

We had sad news at our scan this morning. Heartbeat has stopped and minimal growth since the last one. I've got an appointment at EPU tomorrow. Feeling a bit numb to be honest. Life is so unfair.

So glad for your good news though @Faith2024. Two euploids is great! Do you have plans for timescales for transfer?

Hope everyone else is doing okay x

oh @SErunner I am so so sorry. I hope you can find time over the rest of the week to process and do whatever you need - scream, cry, drink wine, whatever it is. It's all so monumentally unfair.

We found out today that the clinic only sent one of our embryos for testing - there was a miscommunication, the other two were very low-grade grade and they think any testing would have rendered them unviable. The one that was sent off is abnormal.

Talking about the next steps but think this is the end of the road in terms of trying with my eggs and looking at starting a donor egg journey.

@SErunner I am so sorry to hear that. It is hard to have hope and then it be snatched away. Do take care of yourself.

@loulamay sorry to hear that it’s hard news. I am glad you have a plan though.

I have an appointment next week to plan but the sooner the better. If these two don’t work we tried our best and won’t be having any more treatment.

I’m really sorry @SErunner, sending lots of love. Such a very tough day for you, it truly is terribly unfair.

I’m so sorry to hear your news as well @loulamay, a tough day for you too. That’s really positive that you’re thinking about the next steps in your journey, there’s lots to be optimistic about.

@Faith2024 all the best for your appointment next week, I’m keeping everything crossed for you x

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit better this evening. Sad obviously but okay and starting to process. I'm kind of looking forward to the appt tomorrow so that I've got a plan. I think this has certainly put the nail in the coffin for anymore IVF for us. I'm done with the emotional trauma of it all. Still a conversation to have about whether we continue to try naturally (I'm only 35) but that's for a day down the road.

@loulamay I'm so sorry to hear your news. That's a nightmare re the miscommunication and such a sad result. I'm glad you feel able to look ahead though, it will be good to hear about your DE story if you feel happy to continue sharing.

@Faith2024 hope you can get going soon. Are you considering a double transfer at all?

Hope all well with you @KLM25 x

@SErunner glad you’re feeling a little better, it will take some time. I was going to ask if you would at some point consider trying naturally because this is proof your body can do it and you are still young.

I am going to do one embryo at a time. I don’t want to risk losing both and also as an older mum twins (even though we wouldn’t mind them) have a lot of risks we would rather avoid.

@KLM25 thank you. I would love a natural transfer but also just want to do whatever will give me the best chance. I will see what doctor says after next week.

Oh gosh I'm just catching up, what a lot of difficult news.

@SErunner I'm so so sorry. It's totally shit, totally unfair. Sending you a massive hug.

@loulamay I'm so sorry to hear this too. The stress of waiting for the results is dreadful and then for it to be bad news is just awful. Had you talked much about donor eggs already? I know sometimes for me having a plan in place for if things don't go the way I want is helpful so wondered if you had already discussed things.

@Faith2024 two euploids is great! Glad to hear you've had some good news! I totally get you on wanting to use one at a time to kind of spread the risk / possibility.

I've had my appointment through for Dr Quenby's recurrent miscarriage clinic in Coventry, but it's not until October. In the meantime we've had our follow up with the clinic and made a rough plan for next FET, to be confirmed when my consultant gets back from a conference next week. We are probably going to do a higher dose of steroids and an extra day of progesterone before transfer, but ultimately he said if it's going to work it will work and the medication won't be the thing that makes the difference. Our prognosis is still apparently very good. I did ask would he be advising the same if we knew that all 5 embryos we've transferred since my daughter was born were euploid and he said yes. I'm feeling cautiously hopeful - to be honest this has become so much part of my life now that it just feels normal, when obviously it's anything but. We have DD's 3rd birthday coming up which is a bit bittersweet as it's yet another milestone passed. She's amazing though, DH is away on a stag do so we had a snuggle in the sofa earlier and I called her "my darling" and she said "you're my darling too mummy" 🥲

Hia ladies, I had to disappear off all social after the miscarriage in jan- took it super hard and took 8 weeks to get back to 0 hcg so I could get on with fet a month later. I am now currently 5dp5dt and anxious as hell!! Too scared to test and taking the tiniest bit of pleasure in being pupo.

congrats to everyone That has had great news since I was last on and @SErunner my heart goes out to you- our situations are pretty similar- glad your feeling ok (ish) tho ❤️

Nice to hear from you @edf but I'm sorry it's been so slow for you. Glad you've got an embryo on board though and will keep everything crossed.

@Faith2024 can totally understand that re double transfer. Hope your appt this week goes well.

@Eggling they do come out with some very sweet stuff spontaneously don't they! Milestones are tough, I find them difficult too. My birthday, DD birthday and Christmas in particular. I can already feel this Christmas is going to be rough as I would have been due beginning of Dec. I'm glad you're feeling cautiously optimistic though. Sounds like you have every reason to be 🤞

My appt on Friday was awful. They wouldn't accept the findings of my private scans and after scanning me insisted I go back next Friday for another for comparison. In what world are they expecting an embryo that had a heartbeat, and now doesn't and is half the size, to be viable? I was devastated to not be able to start moving forwards on Friday and am finding each day so long and difficult. I have asked them to book me in for surgery on Friday as I just want this physical aspect done with and don't want to wait more time for medications etc to work. It feels immoral and alongside a deep sadness I feel so very angry that they will put women through this so unnecessarily.

Ah @SErunner I'm so sorry. You're right, miscarriage care in this country is totally unacceptable. I have thought that one day when this is all behind me and I feel strong enough I'll write to my no or something about it. I remember saying exactly the same back in November, the treatment was inhumane. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Totally hear you about Christmas, I feel exactly the same as had imagined Christmas with a newborn and how lovely it would be.

@Edf I'm sorry you had such a rough and dragged out time too - fingers crossed that this is your time

@SErunner I'm so sorry to read your updates. Utterly crushing. It's just so sad. And then when you feel you can think about moving on in the physical sense you can't. What a pain for you for it to be drawn out.

@Faith2024 I'm glad you got 2, that's great. Please keep us updated with what the plan is moving forwards!

@loulamay I'm sorry you didn't get any euploids but I am pleased you have a plan in place. It sort of sounds like you had it anyway and were ready for donor eggs before the PGTA results of this last round.

@Edf good luck, hope the next few days go quickly for you!

@Eggling I'm pleased you have a plan but that's annoying your appt with quenby isn't until October. Will you transfer before then?

I got my PGTA results back and only 1 was normal. For my age, it should be around 60/65% normal so I should have got 3 so I'm not really okay with it but I guess it gives an explanation to all the failed/miscarried attempts in the past. Unless they were all normal and this batch wasn't. And the one normal out of the bunch was the worst grade and so I have no confidence it will survive the thaw. I won't do another EC as we have already had 2.5 for a second (the half is because I used 3/5 embryos from cycle 1...embryo 2 gave us our son) Sorry for my negativity. I haven't booked a follow up yet - I'm waiting on the NHS for a hysteroscopy/test for endometritis just to check things there so there's no point transferring before that even though I don't think that's the problem.

@Sofie19 sorry to hear that it wasn’t the outcome you had hoped for when it should have been higher for your age group. Unless the lab told you it can’t survive I distinctly remember embryologist saying that an euploid embryo trumps grading every time.

@SErunner I find that really shocking. Is there anything else they can do in the meantime? It sounds very unfair on top of the emotional distress.

@Eggling good that you have a plan. And I have never been more grateful for my child than during this IVF process.

@Edf fingers crossed this is it for you.

I had my follow up appointment today. She said she would recommend a medicated cycle because they have just seen more success with it at the clinic for my age group (by more than 10%) and she said we only had 2 attempts so she would rather have a controlled cycle. She also talked about doing a couple of tests. Because of my previous c-section it was important to check there are no adhesions etc. She was also very clear that they were all optional but she wanted to make sure that the lining was as healthy as possible given the hard work it took to get here. I don’t mind a medicated cycle it’s just the injection up to 10 weeks of pregnancy if we succeed that puts me off. But I will do it anyway.

I have to think about the tests but the earliest I can have the transfer is around the 21st June if I get going ASAP.

so I got a bfp today at 9dp5dt, very cautiously optimistic but pregnancy after loss is never that relaxing as I’m sure you all know so 🤞
I know a lot of you are having a rough time at the moment so I really hope me posting this isn’t wrong. X

Congratulations @Edf, this is lovely news to read. Will keep everything crossed things progress well. Please don't worry about posting, from my perspective I feel genuine happiness that other women going through these nightmares have success. It's just the announcements from people who pop them out repeatedly with no issues which get to me 😂 how are you feeling?

@Sofie19 I'm so sorry you only had one. Makes sense to get everything optimised as much as possible before transfer and will hope for a good outcome for you. Do you have any idea on NHS appt timescales? Try not to worry about the grading - we all read those stories where crap embryos have a good outcome and great ones don't, and survival rates for thaw are really very good, it's just easy to see the risk rather than the likely positive outcome. I hope you're okay. It must feel really tough and a lot of pressure.

@Faith2024 I'm sure I read success rates are similar between all FET methods, with only a slight increased benefit to natural modified, but that's not conclusive. Sounds sensible to go with your clinics experience. I did struggle with the progynova on mine, just as a heads up. I wish someone had warned me how bad the headaches could be!

I've had my pre op assessment today and have the insisted upon scan first thing tomorrow, then am on the morning list for surgery. I can't wait for it to be over. I've had this week off work and have been thankful for the sunshine, it has really helped.

@SErunner I am glad you are getting the care you need now.

Thanks for the heads up on progynova. I didn't like it for down regulation either!

I forgot to ask, has anyone here got any insight on the Emma & Alice test? I am not convinced but it has been suggested as an option?

@SErunner thank you- I’m feeling very cautious and anxious but so very hopeful! I really hope today brings you that line in the sand and closure needed- the 17day wait back in jan from first scan to finally be given the pill to miscarry was far far worse than the bit after in my experience- Glad you had time off work! ❤️ we are all so blinking strong!!

I'm glad you're hopeful @Edf. A though that helped me was to remind myself that what has happened in past transfers has no bearing on future ones. This is a new cycle, new embryo, new pregnancy and statistically has a good chance of success. Do you have a scan booked yet?

@Faith2024 I think people on this group probably get bored of me saying the same thing, but I highly recommend reading Robert Winston's 'the essential fertility guide' when it comes to additional testing and treatment, and the HFEA website. As a short summary the tests you've mentioned aren't currently recommended as there is insufficient good quality evidence to support their use. I personally decided I wouldn't go down that route as I didn't want to spend money that could go into more cycles (as I felt that was most likely to give us success) but it is of course a very individual decision.