TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

@loulamay I am sorry to hear that it sounds really traumatic and shocking. I hope you're feeling better. It’s supposed to be very rare but I am sure that’s not helpful.

I didn't know that it takes weeks for ovaries to return to normal size I only found out after cycle 2 so the risk is still there longer than I thought.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

@loulamay I’m so shocked and sorry to read your update. It sounds like you’ve had a terrible few days. So I’m guessing it took them a while to diagnose it? 😏
Hope you’re ok and feel better very soon.

@Faith2024 and @Sofie19 Hope things are going ok for you both. @Faith2024 those numbers sound great, I’m really pleased for you.

@SErunner Hope everything goes ok tomorrow, not long now x

@loulamay oh my gosh I'm so sorry, that must have been terrifying for you. I hope you are recovering well.

@Faith2024 those are great numbers! Fingers crossed for plenty of blasts!

@SErunner good luck for tomorrow!

I'm doing ok. I've booked my follow up for 1 May and we've decided we want to go again asap after that. I've also been naughty and taken letrezole to make me ovulate this month (clinic weren't keen on this but I can't find anything that it would actually cause harm so I think it's just that they'd prefer me to wait). So hopefully will have my period early May and do FET that cycle. I've also made a GP appointment next week to see if I can get a referral to the tommys recurrent miscarriage clinic in Coventry in case there's anything they can do that my clinic don't. I'm not willing to pay for reproductive immunology when it's so experimental, but considering we are £50k in and didn't use the nhs cycles we would have qualified for due to lock down, I think some funded treatment might be fair.

What I am struggling with is getting my clinic to go ahead again soon. They were strongly encouraging me to take a break for a few months, I think because they're concerned about my mental well-being (my notes from last week have the words "anxious" and "upset" all over them, but I think considering that's my third loss in just over a year I was pretty damn calm!). I know a break would be good for some people but I also know myself and it wouldn't be a break, I'd still be researching and googling etc so honestly the best thing for me is to crack on. I be told them this but they just don't seem to get it.

What a lot of news folks. It sure is a roller coaster. @Eggling - you have been through a lot. I am so sorry to hear about your recent loss. It is difficult and I won't give you the whole 'it will get better' line just now because three losses in a year is so physically and emotionally hard. One thing I know is that you DD is lucky to have you and you haven't let her down. If you can take time for you and DP and DD to have a psycological break from the rollercoaster. If money allows have a holiday - a total break away from everything. Take joy in whatever you can - because when rested we can be more resilient for whats up ahead. I am impressed by your bravery. Keep going, you're not at the end.

@SErunner what a suprise! Wishing you the very very best. Fingers and toes crossed. :-) Delighted for you. Please keep us posted.

Gosh @loulamay - I can't believe what you're going through. Take care of yourself. Well done on the embryos and fingers crossed.

@KLM25 - thats lovely news - a little girl. Delighted for you. We are the same stage roughly - 27 weeks and didn't find out the sex as I loved the suprise element the first time around.

I have thought of you all often - and have been so grateful for the support through the IVF process and early days. I can't believe I have twins and another baby due. We are a long time married but for many years never thought we'd be parents. We have three day 5+ embryos on ice as well. So not saying it will all be ok - but we have had losses, failures, money issues, days of 'nothing is going to work out' - delays upon delays and poor treatment.

This pregnancy has been great - no symptoms, great energy although starting to slow a bit now. All well so far but due to issues in first pregnancy will get scanned monthly from 28 weeks.

But for us we have got had some sunshine through the clouds and I wish that for you all too.

@loulamay I am so sorry. I was so sad to read your update. How are you recovering? Life is so unbearably unfair sometimes - you didn't need that on top of everything else. I hope you are okay as can be.

@Eggling my experience in this process is that you have to do what's right for you, if nothing else so you don't regret decisions later down the line. Of course listen to advice, but fundamentally do what's right for you. If that's ploughing on and getting going again ASAP then so be it. As far as I am aware there isn't any data to suggest cycles close together are less successful so I would presume their recommendation is related to well being. I totally get the desire to just get going, I felt that last summer. Interestingly taking a break since then was actually far easier than I thought it would be, but we had no option due to finance so a slightly different situation!

@Faith2024 that's great numbers, well done you. Will you get an update today?

@IslandsintheOcean lovely to hear from you and so glad all going well. Also glad you have been feeling well this time round, that must have made things easier with twins to run round after!!

Thanks @KLM25 , @Eggling and @SErunner I got the update from Embryologist this morning that 8 out of 11 fertilised. I will get another update on day 3 Friday and by Sunday we will know how many if any make it to blastocysts.

I almost didn't do this cycle so I am grateful. Still few more hurdles ahead but glad to have arrived at this point.

Congratulations @IslandsintheOcean. it’s always lovely to read a positive story.

Hi everyone

@loulamay I'm so sorry. That sounds awful, you poor poor thing. I hope the recovery is going and smoothly as possible. I am pleased you got three embryos sent off for testing in the end but for now, take it easy.

@Faith2024 I think we had EC on the same day...at the same clinic! What are the chances?! Glad your updates are going well so far!

@SErunner good luck tomorrow! Thinking of you!

@Eggling I'm sorry about all the notes and things raised from the team. I saw my notes and had "very upset" written all over mine after mine and written a few times strongly advised counselling etc a few years back. They took a little bit of time to confirm I could go ahead with the subsequent fet and I remember being so annoyed on top of the upset I was feeling. I think there is an element of back covering on the clinic's part too. (Sorry to put it that way) We know in our hearts what we want and it's up to us sometimes to push for it.

@IslandsintheOcean that is a lovely update to read - thank you so much for sharing. And 27 weeks - I bet you have a nice, good size bump now!

Things are okay here since the EC. I sort of told myself that all the developments/updates mean nothing until we get the results of the testing if we even get to that point so I am sort of grateful for a break in updates for a few days!! I'm not sure if that's me just trying to protect my emotions. I am very aware that we are now 5 years older than when we did our only successful EC as with the best will in the world, the clinic may not have much to work with in terms of quality...there's got to be a reason somewhere for 5 failed embryo transfers and I feel like I am just waiting for whichever update/test result to explain that.

@Sofie19 it’s a small world! I hope you are recovering well. Agreed while updates are nice it doesn't mean anything until you have one euploid embryo that sticks. We would be so delighted and grateful with one or two euploid embryos.

5 failed is tough. I hope there is some kind of answer for you. I have never done a transfer yet so unsure what to expect just keeping the hope alive.

@Faith2024 ahh sorry, I meant the updates for me, not for you. You take the frequent good news - it's only because of my history I'm just trying to protect myself. You have absolutely no reason to have the same mindset as me. 8/11 is a great result so far and I'm keen to hear your updates if you'd like to keep posting them. On my first EC I had 5 embryos. The 2nd transfer resulted in my son so I sort of thought one of the last 3 would work. I was wrong. Aww I'm with you - I'd love 2 euploids too but I'm doubtful we will get that. I think for most people, out of all the transfers I've had, there would be 2, maybe 3 children (depending on age) but that's not been the case for me so I'm a bit cautious.

Thanks everyone. Our scan went well today. I'm only measuring 6 weeks ish (thought it was 7) but obviously unsure of exact dates this time round. Sonographer wasn't concerned. Nice strong heartbeat, everything looking good and in the right place. Still in slight disbelief but feeling relieved to be over the first hurdle. Inevitably worried that I'm measuring smaller than expected but trying to tell myself it's fine. She was very reassuring.

@SErunner yay that's brilliant news! Well done! Take today and enjoy it! Xx

Fantastic news @SErunner, I’m so pleased for you, that’s a big hurdle to overcome. I know you’ll be anxious but one day at a time ❤️
How are you doing @loulamay? Xx

Stuggling a bit to be honest. It's been a horribly painful, shocking experience and one that I doubt would have happened had we not been doing IVF. Just another punch in the gut (literally) as part of this process.

All I want is to have another child. To be put through all of this just to achieve that, with no guarantee of a positive result, is so unfair that it makes me cry. At the moment, not sure how much more of it I can take.

Sorry for the negativity in light of your wonderful news @SErunner - so so happy for you!

Might actually just take a little break from the thread and come back when I'm feeling stronger. xx

Please don't worry @loulamay. I'm still not feeling overly positive so no dampening effect at all! I think your distress is totally understandable. It is so shit, and so unfair. I have had many long pity parties on this road and I think they should be fully indulged because it is just crap. I hope the physical stuff at least starts to settle (pain etc). Will be thinking of you and we're here if you want to come back at any point xx

@loulamay I don’t have the words but hoping your recovery is wholesome x

@SErunner that’s really great news. I know the early days are always tough but try to enjoy it day by day.

@Sofie19 that’s completely fine. It’s natural to be protective of yourself. I think maybe my positivity is underlined by naivety that things may work. Still can’t deny there is a lot of anxiety - part of the parcel of IVF.

I got a positive day 3 update that all embryos are still going strong but that drop off is expected from tomorrow. I will just need to wait until Sunday/Monday, and then until testing so still many weeks of uncertainty.

@Faith2024 We must have had the same update today that all are doing well but to expect the drop off! 🤣 Glad yours went well too. Is this your first round of IVF? I remember you saying you conceived your first naturally...that gets you off to a good start. How old is your little one now? CRGH have such good success rates and is why I switched as a 'one last attempt' type thing.

@Sofie19 glad your update was positive too!

I am doing embryo batching as I have low reserve and my amh was dropping. This was cycle 3 and hopefully we will have the chance to do a transfer. I am basically doing 3 cycles to get the same result some people do from one cycle.

I am on both extremes, first child happened pretty much instantly and second is proving to be more difficult. Our daughter is 2, nearly 3 and we are in the thick of the toddler stage. Big feelings and a very determined spirited little girl. Even though I was convinced by the ‘2 year age gap’ cult I am grateful it hasn’t happened that way. I would have died if I had a newborn/little one now. Age 2 is definitely the hardest yet (and the most fun).

I went with CRGH based on recommendation from two friends. I think even though so much of success is luck it’s important to feel that you have tried your best in terms of care.

Glad you've both had good updates. Fingers crossed for day 5. Do you mind me asking how old you are @Faith2024? Our issue was also seemingly my low AMH and AFC for my age (5 age 30), not retested AMH since but AFC has been broadly similar.

Our daughter is also 2, heading towards 3, and has big feelings! I do far prefer this stage to the baby one though, despite the challenges. I also can't imagine a 2 year age gap - having a 6 ish month old thrown in the mix now as well would be a sodding nightmare!

@SErunner I will be 42 in a few weeks ( I met my partner later in life). Got pregnant at 38 and gave birth a few months after my 39th birthday. I remember testing ever other day until I was nearly 4 weeks. I feel like there is an assumption sometimes on these boards that if you fall pregnant easily all you worry about are baby showers and nursery decorations . Anxiety is natural for a much wanted child regardless of how soon/late they arrive.

I never tested before this year but I am sure there is a massive drop of AMH from 40 onwards.

I am hoping the toddler stage calms down by the time number 2 comes around (fingers crossed on both).

@Faith2024 I see! So what happens with the testing with 3 cycles? Do they take the cells for testing from embryos of cycles 1 and 2 of all, freeze them and then send them off for testing the same time as cycle 3 or do they test once collected so you have you had the results back already from cycles 1 and 2? You mentioned you have more combined from cycle 3 than 1 and 2 combined so far. Did you have a different plan this time? Was it the melatonin?

Aww yes, I know what you mean re the age gap. The 2-3 year gap ship I wanted sailed long ago. My little one is nearly 4 but 3 has been such a dream in terms of age, it would definitely be easier to manage a second baby at more this age than at 2.

@Sofie19 still a lovely age gap .

All our embryos were frozen at day 3 if they were 6 cells and above which they all were. It’s clinic policy to freeze at day 3. Everyone told me to freeze at day 5 and I wanted to do that but was advised by embryologist that the thaw survival rate was much higher in day 3 (98% at this clinic) and that blasts will need to expand in a more complex way post thaw so they wanted to minimise the number of times a blast is frozen and thawed. This way at blast stage the embryo will only be frozen & thawed once ( at testing & transfer). I could have done testing at each cycle but genetic testing and associated costs are 4k for up to 8 so it made sense to pay this once rather than 3x. So this week once our cycle 3 embryos reached day 3 they thawed the previous 8 which all made it ok. They are then growing all 16 of them to day 5/6. And whatever makes it to blastocysts will be tested and frozen for transfer. Statistically it should be about 30% for my age group if we are lucky.

As for protocol it was exact the same to the last tablet from cycle 1 to 3.. Maybe it was months of DHEA & Ubiquinol kicking in? Maybe luck? I have always had 9-11 AFC but not all of them responded to meds. I can tell you I was mentally most relaxed and let go this cycle so not sure if that has any impact.

@Faith2024 you have explained that so clearly and perfectly! I understand what you're saying about day 5, I would have felt the same...but yes, if the clinic are saying to freeze at day 3 and their results are what they are then go with it. That's good they have a plan re testing them all. It is sooo expensive and for us it is unlikely to be good value for money due to the number of blastocysts we expect. I did wonder if in cases like yours with embryo batching there was like a deal with price but I guess not! It sounds like you're doing incredibly well, 15 embryos in the running is amazing! Good luck for tomorrow's update, I'm nervous! X

Thanks @Sofie19 . The reality is at nearly 42 numbers don’t mean as much as a high number are likely chromosomally abnormal. So just hoping for the best.

Testing isn’t for everyone. If I wasn’t 40 and over I wouldn’t have bothered. And who knows if we will even have anything to test. But I don’t have the time to keep trailing embryos given the stats for my age and I don’t want to spend another year doing that.

Best of luck for tomorrow too!

Hi all. We had an update today and it was very bad. My day 3-5 attrition is...less than 10%. 1 blast for biopsy (@Faith2024 I was right about the value for money thing...please tell me you have better news!!) On Friday all of them were apparently graded "excellent" so they've really plummeted. I had in mind there would be around 30% left...not under 10% This will give me closure sooner rather than later but I did have my hopes up earlier this week! Does anyone know why the drop could be THIS bad?! From excellent...to this.

They'll check again tomorrow but I'm not stupid - if they were maintaining their excellent rating on day 3 I would have expected suitability for biopsy on day 5 rather than 6 so I'm not expecting anything more.

@Sofie19 I'm so sorry, that is so disappointing for you. I hope you get another one or two pull through today. We've always had slow growers (one of which became our daughter) which didn't get to blast until day 6. Would you still go ahead with testing or will you just transfer the one you've got?