2dp5dt, who else is in 2ww?

[Greenleaves20]

It’s the dreaded 2ww after my FET on Tues. checking for bleeding all the time, symptom spotting etc. How is everyone else doing?

Last night I had cramping and this morn had the tiniest amount of pinkish discharge. Could be combo of constipation causing cramps and pessaries irritating cervix rather than implantation. Don’t want to get hopes up as probs a bit early for implantation?!!

This is my 5th transfer and if successful will be our 3rd IVF baby. We’ve been incredibly lucky.

Actually maybe you can just about see it - this is evening of 6dt5dt - I have read so many stories about CB being notorious for evap lines though and I wish I had some FRER tests but we're in South Africa and they don't have them here.

I am so sorry @loulamay, it’s soul crushing isn’t it? Really feeling crap at the moment myself.

Sadly my line hasn’t gotten any darker this am, despite the use of FMU, possibly slightly lighter, but hard to compare when yesterday’s is fully dried. Preparing myself for failure and hoping to get that beta hcg today at least to get some closure.

@loulamay My clinic doesn't offer a beta. It's pregnancy test on day 14 (Sunday) then scan in 3 weeks if it's positive. There's still time but I would expect to see something on the test at 9dp5dt and I just know deep down it hasn't worked 😕 Continuing with my medication feels so pointless right now.

Sorry you are concerned aswell. I can see a very faint line on your test I think. Good luck for your beta.

Thinking of you aswell and understand feeling rubbish @clhiu 🙏🏼🤞🏼

@April623 I’m in the same boat. Can feel my period is on its way, due today & due to test tomorrow, still using the pessaries as I’m holding onto hope but I can feel it deep down that it’s not our turn. So we’ll see what arrives first, period or test day. I haven’t tested at all, again probably holding onto hope. I’m day 9 post day 5 fresh transfer, with grade 4AA embryo I had got my hopes up.

@Cmc87 Oh no I'm sorry to hear you are in the same boat. Feelings are so mixed at this horrible time, you genuinely don't want anyone to be in the same boat but at the same time, don't want to be alone in this! 😕

Seeing as you had a fresh transfer I'm wondering why your OTD is a few days earlier than mine which is Sunday, as I am also 9dp5dt. Did you have a trigger shot?

As this was my first time I didn't have many questions for the clinic but having now been through it I have loads 🤦🏻‍♀️

Really sorry @April623 this is so so shitty. Not much one can say really.

I think this for me is the end of any hope to ever have children. At 43.5 with absolutely no money for more ivf and a high risk of miscarriage from natural conception,if this hasn’t worked as it would seem, I’ll have to seriously reconsider my life prospects and which direction I want it to take from
here. I wish I at least had previous children or the option to go straight into another round, but feel like I have absolutely nothing. Sorry, very depressing post.

@clhiu I'm so sorry. You're right not much one can say at all. The money side is another thing entirely, it's so unfair.

I feel I have a bit more time to try again as I'm just turned 40 but very concerned about our rates from this cycle, 1 embryo from 11 eggs does not sound good and I'm concerned about our overall chances. I previously felt it wouldn't be the end of the world for us if we didn't have children although upsetting, but it's amazing how quickly your attitude changes when you feel your options are running out. I really empathise with you x

I’m sorry @April623 I hear your situation is also a tricky one and you may be feeling you’re running out of options, we’re not miles apart in that sense although your age is more on your side than mine.

You’re so on point by saying ‘it’s amazing how quickly your attitude changes when you feel like your options are running out’. i was adamant most of my life I didn’t want children at all, started to feel different at about 37, but for the next couple of years it was more of ‘I think I would like to now, but it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen’ plus my DH really didn’t want to back then hence why it was put back so long that I was over 40 when he’d changed his mind and we started trying properly. At that point it’d become a necessity for me and right now I feel like it’s all that matters to me, but really I know nothing else has changed in my life and I am still the same person and I should be able to have a fulfilling life even without children, but my brain won’t just let me accept that and I kind of hate myself for it.

@April623 Yes I had trigger shot on 17th April. Cramps have increased so I have no doubt my period will arrive soon. It’s my first time too. Although I work for Gynaecology for another NHS healthboard so I have been harassing consultant colleagues with questions. Just need to wait & see when we can start another round of treatment, although fortunately for me I do have embryo’s frozen, so don’t need to go through full egg retrieval process.

@Cmc87 Interesting as I had the trigger on the same day. Difference in test date is bizarre! But I am not expecting a miraculous change in my result between now and day 14 anyway! Thanks for the info.

@clhiu Same. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and there's a lot I would have done differently in light of the situation I now find myself in!!!

@clhiu So sorry you’re having to go through this, I don’t have any words to make it easier but want to say I’m thinking of you.
I get what you mean about it being hard to perspective now.
When I had my first I was totally overjoyed and thought I’d be happy with that (and I am) but seeing other people have their seconds makes me sad it possibly won’t happen and DD will be an only child. But like you said nothing has changed in your life and if you were happy before all of this you can be happy again. Just hard to find that perspective when you’re in the middle of all of this. It will get easier.

@April623 Sorry to hear your news too. The ticking clock of fertility is awful! Hope you are able to try again soon.

I’m still holding out testing even though feel fairly certain it’s not worked, it’s so annoying continuing with the meds! Definitely felt different before my other previous positives. Husband wants to hold out til Sunday and I tested early without him last time.

Beta results are negative, as expected. Still, I had a tiny bit of faith with that faint test, but now I know it was an evap line. Damn clear blue!! I'm only using FRER from now on!!!

Was there someone else on here with a PGD embryo? That's the part that is worrying me most - other failed transfers I have put down to chromosomal issues with the embryos, but now I'm worried that something else has gone wrong here in terms of implantation and that feels scary with only one frostie left. I am 43 as well so time is not on my side, like some of you. This will be our 2nd failed transfer on top of one chemical and 3 miscarriages.

Sending love and hope to those still in the race! and huge virtual hugs to everyone who is still unsure or disappointed. This whole thing is a total sh*tshow.

@loulamay me, I am truly sorry and I know how this feels and it’s a very awful
place to be. Sorry the beta was negative. Sounds like we’re in a spookingly similar boat. 4 natural pregnancies ended in MC. All tests on me and DH found no other issues so because of my age it was put down to an egg quality issue (41.8 at the time of the 1st MC and 42.8 at the time of the 4th) which is the sole reason why we decided to go down the IVF route with PGT-A testing which resulted in one single euplod embryo, that unfortunately was crap grading (6B-C) and looking like a fail, probably because of the grade. My 3 best graded blasts were also the 3 abnormal ones, feel like I just can’t win. For reference as well, tissues from MC 3 and 4 were also tested and confirmed as chromosomes abnormalities so I know that’s definitely the issue with me and of course there’s very little that can be done to improve it and it just gets worst with age 😞. Had we had any more funds we’d have done another couple of egg collection rounds to maybe get another 1-2 euploids, but like too many things in this world, it comes down to money. I could just try naturally, but I don’t know if I can face more miscarriages, especially missed ones or possibly worse. I’ve been told straight by my IVF consultant at this point I’m more likely to have more miscarriages than a living baby by going naturally. The NHS on the other hand just told me to keep trying and will not pronounce itself on my specific risk of my next pregnancy ending in MC again. There is bias on both sides of course, but I feel like my private consultant may be right.

@clhiu I feel EXACTLY the same way about trying naturally. People ask me if we do and I tell them that I can't face any more natural miscarriages - especially ones that might reach mid to late first trimester and then are lost or have to be aborted. I just couldn't cope mentally.

We don't have time on our side with the egg quality like you say. We also didn't really start trying until my late thirties! mainly because we met later in life, but also because he wasn't really ready. We are in the 'unexplained' boat, with the slight possibility that DH has a sperm count on the low end but nothing else significant. Apart from being ancient 😆

We have one more euploid 4BB that we will try again with. Our complication is that we lived in Cape Town for years and that is where we did our initial IVF, so that's where the embryos are. We relocated back to the UK 2 years ago and I looked into getting them flown over but it was going to cost £6000!!! So it was cheaper to come to Cape Town on holiday and do the transfer here.

I'm so sorry that it comes down to money for so many of us. I've not dealt with the UK/NHS at all, but if the third transfer doesn't work then I might look at European clinics which I've heard are much cheaper?

I'm having wine and sushi tonight. 😈

@loulamay I have two pgta's left (started with three). One is currently trying to stick as we speak (I hope!)

My first of the three I had didn't take- found out afterwards through lots of investigations that I have a displaced implantation window which could be why it didn't work. They also changed up my drugs a lot and I had a progesterone blood test on transfer day this cycle (never had before) which also revealed low numbers so i am now on lubion injections as well. Again could have been a factor x

I am also 42 with a shockingly low amh of around 2. I did the duo stim option last summer. Very pricey but great results for us, especially after a nightmare free cycle with the NHS where they only got one egg and froze it immediately after fertilising which I've never ever heard of and my private clinic were shocked that they did that x

Got my call and confirmed it’s allover, HCG is only 9.5 and was advised to stop the meds. They think it’s most certainly a chemical rather than residual infusion or trigger, that it probably started implanting then failed. I’m pretty sure I know it all happened when after 3 days of nausea it stopped and at the same time I had that intense headache. Glad I can stop the meds at least, but feel super empty. 8 months of this leading to nothing, I know many of you on here know the feeling. I’ll take a few days to process. Thanks everyone for your support and advice xxx

@clhiu sending you so much love xx I've been through it twice before. It's fckng awful. Take some time. Process. Feel. Let your emotions out. We are here if you need to chat xx

@clhiu Really sorry to hear this hasn't worked out for you, especially given everything you've said today. Take some time out and be kind to yourself xx

@loulamay so sorry it wasn’t better news. Hope you enjoy your sushi & wine tonight.

@CR7 Fingers crossed for you!

So sorry to hear your news @clhiu, that must be so difficult. I hope you have people you love to support you over the coming days – things will feel well again in time, but it's bound to be so tough for now. Lots of love.

After my two BFNs so far, I’ve got a hint of a positive line today - but it is very faint for 10dp5dt. Praying it’s stronger in a couple of days time!

Hi everyone. So sorry to have gone silent the past few days, it's been a little bit chaotic over here!

@clhiu - I'm so, so sorry to hear this. I hope you have some support and can take the time you need to process this. Thinking of you.

@loulamay - I'm sorry to hear that about your beta results, especially after the promising looking test. I'm glad you've got the opportunity to try again, although the travel required must make this feel so much more challenging.

@April623 - that must be so difficult after the rollercoaster of the positive lines. It is still possible, but I can see why you feel low about it given . I know the prospect of starting the egg collection process again must make it harder as well. How are you feeling today?

@RunningOnHope - that's really encouraging news re: the line! Crossing everything that it gets stronger for you.

Hope everyone else is doing ok and I'm sending lots of love to you all. My positives are still darkening which is encouraging. OTD is Sunday, my clinic doesn't do betas so I'm watching the tests like a hawk.

@MimosasInFrance So glad it's still going well for you! Long may it continue 🙏🏼

I'm ok thanks, I've accepted that it hasn't worked this cycle, as I'm testing with early response so very unlikely that a positive will appear at this stage. It is what it is! Planning to do one final test tomorrow 11dpt then call the clinic to see if I can stop my meds as it seems so pointless and I don't really want to be taking them through the bank holiday weekend unnecessarily. Then it's back to the drawing board for us.

@loulamay So sorry to hear your news too. The whole thing sucks!!