IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

Thank you @beachbum85 it really does help. Fingers crossed you are close behind and not easy weaning so hope that’s getting easier.

By some miracle all our 10 made it to day 3. 5 excellent, 5 average 🥹. I had expected higher attrition at this point so allowing a glimmer of hope that we have a transfer on Saturday. Unreal to have better results than before so still holding my breath.

That's amazing news!! As always, anything can happen but 10 embryos on Day 3, and 5 of them excellent sounds very promising indeed 😊 I'll keep my fingers crossed for Saturday for you, and please keep us posted.

Thankfully the weaning is done here - it was smoother than I imagined, luckily, and didn't take too long. My period has gone back to being more-or-less regular in the meantime, and I've had bloods and an ultrasound and been given the OK for a natural FET, so hoping we can go ahead early in the new year. The fact that the timing is up in the air is a little stressful, because my work involves a fair bit of travel and I'm having to say no to a few things in Jan/Feb without explaining why... but luckily my manager is very understanding of worklife balance so I'm hoping I can pull it off. With our previous rounds of IVF, I was very open with him and he was 100% supportive, but seeing that this is less appointment-heavy, I'm thinking I might not need to say too much, and keep some pressure off. We shall see. Sorry for rambling here but there are very few people I've mentioned this too so it feels good to share with others who get it!

Totally get it @beachbum85 - I haven’t shared with work either - and for the same reason. Sometimes it’s just a lot for everyone to know this aspect of your family life especially when it’s so uncertain. I also have to do the travel - a day or two here and there but hard to not attend an offsite because I might need a scan. Finding that it’s harder to juggle appointments, children and work this time around. I’m not complaining but am in awe of people who make it look easy.

I'm so sorry @Bobbin83 😢😢 sending big huge hugs xx

Hello @IslandsintheOcean congrats on your twins! That's excellent! Keeping everyone crossed for Saturday 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@beachbum85 that's great! I always found it helped even just having a date to work towards, it felt like something was happening.

Today we had a scan at the clinic at 8+3 and everything was as it should be with a strong heartbeat. We've been discharged from the clinic with our last boxes of pessaries. I feel so fortunate to be in this position ❤️

Taking each day as it comes, and hopefully I will be ready to try again in the new year.

@Olivia199 thanks for your kind words, and I hope you are doing better after your mmc, it’s such a shit time. Out of interest what does your clinic class as poor grade? Which grade do you have? I have 4 5BC left and when you look online they are classed as poor but my clinic say they are average. Seems every clinic is slightly different on the grading. Anyway thanks again and really good news that you can try again soon xx

Thanks @beachbum85 you are right I do have 4 more chances, thanks for your words of encouragement xx

@IslandsintheOcean welcome to the group : ) and thanks for your words also you have given me some hope that maybe one of our remaining embryos will be a much longer for sibling for our son. Congratulations on your twins how amazing, and hope all goes well with your current round xx

Hey everyone!

@Bobbin83 I've been thinking of you and hope you're doing as well as you can in this situation xxx

@itsmschanandlerbong I'm so happy for you, that's amazing! Here's to a smooth and uneventful pregnancy for you 😍

@IslandsintheOcean I hope you had positive news over the weekend and you have a lovely embaby on board!

And I hope everyone else is doing well too.
We have our consents appointment tomorrow, so as you said @itsmschanandlerbong it feels good to know things are moving and we're getting closer!

@bbeachbum85 - That sounds exciting. I had some bloods today and bought the donor vial. Hoping to go after Christmas. Thankfully a lot of my consents/results etc from the last round can still be used as I switched from full IVF to FET at the last minute. Now I'm back to full IVF but we've done a lot of it.

@Bobbin83 - a c grade embryo in any given situation has 30% chance of becoming a baby - (the % rate for the best AA is 50%). So that’s a really great chance and you have four embryos which is fantastic. You’ve not had it easy but wishing you every success with your other rounds. Your body has done it before.

https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(14)02438-8/fulltext

Transfer went well on Saturday. We had two other embryos to freeze, and then another to freeze a day later (so a day 6 rather than day 5). So I am amazed we have the most from this round. I am half hopeful and then half managing my expectations. We’ve had losses and know how hard it can be. Anyone who goes through this is so strong. Your child will know how much you love them and what you’ve done to bring a sibling along to them down the line.

Thanks @beachbum85 - wishing you smooth sailing ahead! Getting going is good - so much of the time is waiting and anticipation isn’t it.

Embaby on board. Told my husband I’m now PUPO (saw the acronym on one of these chats). He is enjoying calling me poo-po - so that’s wearing thin…. 🫣🤣 Official test date is 14…..

Thanks @beachbum85 I'm doing better thanks 😊 just trying to concentrate on what I do have. Hope your consents appointment went well and you are ready to get going xx

@IslandsintheOcean yes PUPO 🎉 best of luck!! I know the 2ww can be difficult but it sounds like your husband is lightning the mood 😂😂 great news you have embryos in the freezer. I would feel hopeful, such great news!

Thanks for your message on the embryo grading I know I shouldn’t get to hung up on it…I’m trying. Out of our first 4 attempts we had our son so I’m hoping and praying that out of the 4 we have left we can have a sibling.

Take care and hope the 2ww goes as quick as poss for you xx

Hi everyone!

@IslandsintheOcean I've been thinking of you (and your husband calling you a poo-poo 😂) and I really hope you've had the best news in the meantime! big hugs either way and congrats on your frosties too xxx

@Olivia199 exciting! And it must be such a relief that you can sail through parts of the process a bit easier... After Christmas is so soon now!

@Bobbin83 I know it's hard not to fixate on the numbers and grades, but I try to tell myself: if it's good enough to freeze, then it's good. My first transfer we had an early blastocyst that wasn't even gradeable and the embryologist gave us a 25% chance, which is around the same as trying to conceive naturally any given month you're under 35yo. I wish they told us that before the tww, as it would have helped me feel a lot better, as I assumed it was a lost cause from the start.

Hope everyone else is well. Have a good week 😊

Hey @beachbum85 & @Bobbin83 - thankfully we’re beyond PUPO now, did an early day 6 test, so now confirmed positive test for 10 days. 5 weeks, two weeks until clinic scan.

Of course when I tested, husband woke up, saw the faint line, said you’re not pregnant and went back to sleep. Not quite like in the movies 🍿 🤣. He goes between delighted to ‘how will we manage’ (as the twins are in a funny crazy phase).

Quietly hopeful but also know it’s a long way between now and holding a baby in my arms. We’ve never had a fresh transfer work first time so still shocked.

I was thinking today that if you’d told me five years ago I might be a Mum of three I would have been so ecstatic. So I feel for all those who haven’t had good news this time - but also am hopeful that for those that are trying again that next times is your time.

Congrats @IslandsintheOcean and it sounds like there is some good news on embryos frozen etc from others. Agree with those saying not to focus on grades. My DD was from our lowest graded embryo - no luck with AA’s!!

I am going for my repeat Emma/Alice this month then hoping for FET in January. I am finding it so hard to get motivated to get fit and healthy - I’m about 2 stone overweight from ivf and pregnancy (and chocolate!) and I’m very unfit. I can’t seem to motivate myself at all.

how do you all do it?

@IslandsintheOcean huge congratulations!! We all know anything can happen at any point, but getting there is already an amazing result 😍 best of luck with your scan and please keep us posted! And please keep the stories of your husband's reactions coming too 😂

@Dochas12111 good luck with your repeat tests! We're also hoping for a FET in January, depending on the timing of my cycles... really hope we can keep each other company on here, and hopefully @Olivia199 and @2mumlife too...
I did the Couch to 5K programme to keep me moving, and try to run a couple of times a week since finishing that. It was tough getting to the 5K and I don't really like running tbh, but the fact that I can find 45m and just go makes it more likely for me to do something, than joining a class on a fixed date and time, like I used to before. I had completed Couch to 5K just before the IVF round that gave us our son, so I try to remind myself that this is a good thing and I just need to get out and do it (and I can eat more chocolate after 😁).

Sorry I'm a bit in and out of this thread as been busy!

@Bobbin83 I'm so sorry to hear your news. I hope you're doing ok. As other have said grade is not everything - my best 2 embryos ended in a BFN and a chemical pregnancy. We only have 2 embryos left and ok grades but not the highest. As the consultant told us though - our chances are higher this time around because we've head a healthy pregnancy and live birth. We were quoted odds around the 45% mark for each embryo transfer this time around.

@beachbum85 We will hopefully be transferring around the same time! We did our consents the other day and paid for a FET today. I still need to do some blood pathogen / STI screening as my old ones have run out of date, and our planning call, then looking to go whenever I have a bleed hopefully in January (we're doing a medicated FET).

I made the decision to still breastfeed during treatment, but feeling a bit apprehensive about the possibility of supply dropping, especially as the consultant has suggested I start on a higher estrogen dose. We'll see how it goes.

@IslandsintheOcean Congratrulations :D Hope you're feeling well

How is everyone doing?

We've just paid for medications for our FET and due to start with next period in early Jan!

@beachbum85 How are things lining up for you?

@2mumlife where are you getting treated? I was told I couldn't have treatment while breastfeeding so we'd given up on the idea of trying again ...

Hi @2mumlife great to hear you're all ready to go! Very exciting... How are you feeling about it all?

We're also ready to start, but we're having a natural FET I think my cycle is going to work against us and we're going to miss the next one. We're away until the first week of Jan (booked many months ago when we weren't thinking of all this) and the clinic told me we can go ahead if my period comes 30 Dec or later, but I ovulated early this month and I think it will be 28 Dec. Quite frustrating now that we're good to go, but I guess a month doesn't make too much of a difference in the grand scheme of things...

How is everyone else doing?

Hi all, another one hoping for a FET end January/early Feb.

I’ve done my second Emma/Alice biopsy and waiting on the results to go ahead. I’m planning an egg collection if this transfer fails so I also retested my testosterone as I previously had very low levels and needed DHEA.

Hi all, hoping I can join - I was pregnant from an FET at the end of august (our existing DD is 5 so our frozen blastocysts have been in the freezer a while!)

I sadly had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks <waves to@Olivia199 from the miscarriage thread> - it was absolutely devastating but we’ve ultimately decided to have one last try with our remaining embryo in January. We’ve had our nurse consult and done all the paperwork so just trying to enjoy Christmas and then make a fresh start in the new year.

Im struggling a bit with Christmas stuff to be honest, and I feel really anxious today for some reason. DD keeps saying she wants a brother or sister for Christmas 🥺. This isn’t helped but the fact that one of our close friends - whom we thought was done having kids - has just announced she is pregnant and due around the time I would have been. Obviously I’m really pleased for them but I could have done without a constant reminder of where we would have been if everything hadn’t done wrong.

I keep trying to give myself a kick up the bum to be grateful for all I do have, and hoping to soak up some of the positivity from this thread!

Sending congratulations to all of you who’ve had bfp, good luck to everyone else and love to those who’ve had losses recently - it’s so very hard ♥️♥️♥️

@Scirocco I'd recommend having a look at the breastfeeding and IVF group on Facebook, and doing your own research to decide about whether doing treatment whilst breastfeeding is right for your family or not. I'm not sure I would do any egg collections whilst still BF, but we will cross that bridge if we need to. I'm just keeping everything crossed one of these 2 frosties sticks

@beachbum85 Ah my periods never worked with me for planning treatment! I'll keep fingers crossed it comes after the 30th for you! It still feels a bit surreal to be honest even though all the meds got delivered today. Feels very different this time around - I feel more relaxed that what will be will be. I also feel a bit more like I know what to expect, and I'm sort of just seeing it as we have these 2 embryos and we'll see what happens.

@Dochas12111 Hope your results came back ok

@MindatWork I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It can be challenging hearing about other pregnancies and must be hard when your daughter is asking about siblings. Hope your transfer works out for you

@Scirocco probably not much use to you as my clinic is in Spain but I’m aiming for a natural FET in the new year.

My clinic prefer a natural FET to medicated while breastfeeding (and have said there is no difference in their success rates).

It is going to be logistically difficult but I don’t want to even consider moving embryos to a UK clinic as there are no good ones near me anyway and I trust that I am in good hands in that clinic. I also hear the paperwork is challenging. If you want to PM I can look up details of the suggested protocol if it’s of interest.

@beachbum85 hello 👋 you have me some advice before I think.

Sorry for those struggling right now, it’s hard isn’t it and Christmas is like a prime pregnancy announcement time.

Hi everyone,
Happy New Year! I hope everyone has got through the holidays OK and is doing well...

As expected, my period showed on the 28th so we've had to skip Jan and are aiming to transfer mid-Feb now.
@2mumlife how's it going? have you started medication? Totally agree with being so much more relaxed this time round, I can't believe the difference sometimes!

Hi @daisypizza ! I'm also having a natural FET... what are your timings looking like?

Hi @MindatWork I'm sorry for your loss, and that you were struggling over Christmas. It's really hard... I hope things are feeling better now. Very best of luck with this transfer!

@Dochas12111 I hope you've got your results and they're looking good.