IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

@Overlyanxious Thanks, you’re right. Especially with this being our last frostie! Where are you in your journey?

@beachbum85 Thanks. It’s so stressful. Sorry about your FET in feb. Where are you ok your journey now?

Thank you @charliegirl77 . We're just about to transfer again... Had a scan on tuesday and all was good, positive ovulation test on Wednesday, and have the transfer booked in for Tuesday.

Just noticed you're on the April FET thread too... I was lurking for a while, just posted, but it's seems like there's tons of peopleon there so I don't think I'm going to be able to keep up!

@beachbum85 Not long for you on transfer. Good luck, it’s all
so exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. I am on April one and it’s super busy, I’m always playing catch up.

Thank you @charliegirl77 ! Yes, I'm finding it hard to believe we're transferring again so soon, and feeling all the different emotions... So far excited and hopeful are winning but I know that will change in the tww!

@charliegirl77 Yeah the chemical was t fun. I was actually still testing positive on OTD but my beta came back very low and I’d had a really strong feeling it all wasn’t right with no line progression etc. it was a really crap 7-10 days. So no testing early since as don’t feel it’s worth it

@beachbum85 I know it’s absolutely crazy how quickly it all goes really. Starting to try to get DD prepared a bit and get the house organised and things. Keep trying to persuade DD it’s time to wean as BF is painful now, especially when she latches / at the start of feeds, but she’s having none of it 😭🤦‍♀️

@beachbum85 its such a roller coaster of emotions. I’m glad you’re feeling hopeful though as that always helps. Now I’m towards the end of my tww I’m thinking every twinge is my AF on its way.

@2mumlife That sounds so cruel and even more painful testing positive all along. Sorry about that. That would be my fear in testing early.

@charliegirl77 I have some Frosties I can use. I'm just waiting to move house first before I transfer. I would like to just do it now but need to get the move out of the way.

@beachbum85 that's so exciting it's next week.

@charliegirl77 I've been thinking of you - I really hope it was a positive surprise for you xxx

We transferred yesterday!
It went super smoothly - embryo thawed fine and I drank less this time and didn't experience the discomfort I did in Feb. It was quite funny as the consultant was the same person who told me it would be absolutely impossible to go ahead this month due to the timing and Easter break, so when she saw me, she looked really surprised and said 'Oh, it's YOU, you managed to squeeze yourself in!' I then had to spend approx. 5min with my legs open in front of her whilst the nurse went to pick up some missing thing they needed 😅 she was really nice though, they showed us what was going on this time and we could see the moment the embryo was transferred. Not feeling anything at all atm (had quite a few cramps last time round) and still very calm, but let's see in a few days. I am absolutely adamant that I won't be testing early this time!

@2mumlife how's the weaning going? Kudos to you, I can't imagine BF during all of this and especially the first trimester. Definitely a supermum 😊

@beachbum85 Congrats on being PUPO!!!!! Great to hear it was more comfortable this time around, and good to show the consultant what you can achieve with perseverance! All my transfers they've always let us see the screen / talked about what was happening, and offered a photo of the 'blip' of fluid when embryo was transferred which is nice. I would say its a good sign not to feel anything as means your cervix/uterus less disgruntled from the transfer. Wishing you a speedy TWW!

P.S. I think its more laziness than supermum - its always just been easier to keep BFing than deal with trying to wean. Just trying to use lots of distraction to cut the weaning down but not sure we're getting anywhere yet really...

Oh @beachbum85 I came to wish you luck because I thought today was Tuesday 😬
So glad to hear it all went smoothly and congratulations on being PUPO indeed!

I can’t transfer this cycle, my period has been delayed by over a week (not pregnant) so transfer date would clash with DH being away at a conference and I wouldn’t be able to travel for transfer. Soooo frustrating! But trying to channel the energy into something better (not very successfully I have to say, I had scans all planned and raring to go).

@2mumlife hope you’re doing okay

@daisypizza Sorry to hear you can't transfer this cycle :( hopefully you can go next time? I'm doing well thanks, in the hospital for cervix length check and to meet consultant tomorrow. Looking forward to getting to have a quick peek at bubs whilst they do the cervix length measurement.

@beachbum85 Glad your transfer went well, even if you had to wait a little for them to get all the things together. You get pretty used legs open in ivf. We had a faint line on one test on test day and other test we took was negative. Yesterday the test was negative and this morning. I’m pretty sure we are out. Hcg bloods were taken today to get a definitive answer. I think at best the hcg will show a chemical. Feel like it’s dragging on now.

Wishing everyone luck who had transferred or is about to.

@charliegirl77 So sorry to hear about the bit of confusion around your tests. I also had a chemical before and it’s really disheartening but also I remember that feeling of just wanting to know one way or the other x

Thanks @2mumlife i think it’s a chemical. The wait is the worst.

i’m still waiting on results. We had said as this was our last embryo and we already have two kids we would not try again and that fate would decide if we had a third. Yet I find myself looking at trying again..

@charliegirl77 I think it must be very hard to decide not to do more tries after you've made the decision to transfer this embryo. My advice is to give yourself some time - you decided before this transfer this was the last attempt, and you made that decision for valid reasons. Its a super emotional time at the moment, and I'd give yourself a few weeks to see how you and your partner feel. I hope for you that if it is a CP its straight forward for you x

@2mumlife your right on taking some time, which we have definitely decided to do. Thanks. I think you get caught up in the heavily charged emotions and naturally we wanted it work so opened up to the possibility of a third child. I think some time will give us some clarity.

@charliegirl77 I'm so sorry it's looking like a chemical 😥 I hope you get those results soon as waiting and not knowing really is the worst. I can totally how difficult it must be to decide whether to try again or not (I've always dreamt of 3 kids, but if this FET works out I say now that I won't be doing another EC for a third, but I know that doubt will remain and/or I'll be hoping for a highly unlikely natural pregnancy until I go into menopause!). So much of this journey is so hard... I hope some time to process the emotions and think it through will give you some clarity.

@daisypizza ugh I'm sorry you can't transfer because of scheduling. We had that some months and it's super frustrating! Will you be able to go next month? Have you found anything to keep you distracted till then?

@2mumlife hope you get a good view of your little one at today's appointment! Do you know if you're having a boy or girl? Do you want to find out?
Yes, we have a photo of the blip and very happy about it 😊we have one from my son's transfer too, but the 2 failed ones were on a Sunday and they seemed short-staffed and less into the 'extras'.

Thanks everyone, it's definitely good to be PUPO😍Not feeling anything at all so far... taking it as a good sign so far... only 2dp5dt but it feels like a week has passed already 😅

@charliegirl77 I think it must be so hard as you say because you open your hearts up to expanding your family, and doing a cycle you obviously start to hope and dream, and then its a lot to then decide to stop trying. Its my fear for the future about having 1 remaining embryo and deciding what we do with it. Wishing you all the best navigating these decisions, can't be easy x

@beachbum85 All good at todays scan. Bubs was a bit more active (I drank a cold drink not long before the scan 😂) and sonographer was friendly and took another photo which was nice. Cervix is looking totally fine (actually quite a bit longer than it was when we did these with DD - can you cervix grow? is that a thing?) so consultant said if I was happy to we could just do 4 week checks rather than 2 week checks (unless they see anything concerning) which I'm quite pleased about, as its a bit less intensive whilst still getting the reassurance everything is fine. Don't know what we're having and probably not intending on finding out. My NHS area don't tell you at the 20 week scan (they have a policy that the scan is for clinical purposes, so have big signs up saying they wont say and I know a few people who have tried to ask who have been told things like 'I couldn't see' etc to not tell them). We didn't find out with DD either, and my partner would quite like not to know again this time (i'm a bit more open to knowing). We're definitely not the type to hold a baby shower / sex-reveal party or anything like that. Its quite nice having an element of surprise (though through all my growth scans last time I was keeping an eye out, and had said before birth I'd seen no evidence of it being a boy, so I reckon I'll be able to have a good guess at it again this time 😂)

Time goes SO slowly in the TWW. Hope you have some nice distractions planned for the weekend?

@2mumlife glad to hear your scan went well - I did not know that about cold drinks!😅Also no idea about cervix lengths but so glad you can reduce monitoring a little. Did you have an issue with cervix length with your DD then?
Ohhh the guessing game sounds like fun! 😄I am way, way too curious to wait till birth, and my partner is a data-based person who wants as much info asap, so we found out really early when we did the genetic tests with our son, but I'm very much in awe of everyone who can hold out so long 💪🏼 keep letting us know what the scans are telling you 😄

We have a few things for the weekend, mainly just catching up with friends. Then on Thurs we're off to my partner's hometown so that will be the perfect distraction for the last few days. And we'll test there on Sunday, which is where we tested BFP the first time ever with our son, also on a Sunday, so I'm hoping it's a good omen! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@beachbum85 haha yes it’s one of the tricks to get babies to move for scans 😂 or they also say you can drink a cold drink if you are concerned you haven’t felt baby movements for awhile later on.

To be honest I didn’t find it that hard to wait really. One of the consultants at the fertility clinic was concerned my cervix was on the short side so asked me to be monitored. It was shorter but not what they would normally
consider concerning (mine was about 3cm and they get a bit concerned when it’s less than 2.5 ). I’d had a LLETZ procedure done before for pre-cancerous cervical changes but my NHS areas policy is to monitor length after 2 LLETZ procedures. So they monitored last time and said they will again but if I was happy could do less monitoring as I don’t hit their usual criteria and everything was fine with DD. My cervix measured 5cm the other day which it totally normal

Glad you have some Nice things planned and sounds very auspicious time and place for testing! 🤞🤞🤞

@charliegirl77 I'm so sorry to hear it could be a chemical. I hope you're looking after yourself.

@beachbum85 let's hope it is a good omen and enjoy all your busy distractions.

@2mumlife that's good to hear your cervix length has been good.

@daisypizza that's annoying about scheduling. I hope you can try next month

Not much to report for me - I just feel like it's taking forever to get to June. Although I'm hoping to stop getting colds by then. I'm constantly ill at the moment

@Overlyanxious I hope you're feeling better now and I'm sorry time seems to be going slowly for you... waiting is always the worst. When will you be moving?

@2mumlife thanks for sharing - totally ignorant about LLETZ procedures and cervix length issues here so that's good to know! Have you been enjoying telling people?

4 days to OTD here... staying strong and resisting the urge to test early. Very few symptoms but I'm feeling pretty positive overall. Of course, if it's a BFN I'll be crushed, so might as well enjoy these last few days of hope 🤞🏼

Thinking of everyone else too - hope you're all well xxx

@beachbum85 Hey :) Yeah its been nice getting to tell people. Though my sister basically said a 2yr old and a newborn was her idea of hell (thanks sis.... 🙄)

Can't believe its nearly OTD for you! I know it will have seemed forever to you but seems to have gone quickly to me! Sending you all the sticky embryo positive result vibes 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

@beachbum85 rooting for you, it’s so hard at this point!

@charliegirl77 so sorry it looks like a chemical. As @2mumlife says so take your time, decisions on next steps can go either way but let this current situation sink in for a bit and take time to process.

@Overlyanxious I am really hoping for next month, but the way things are going I could be joining you in a FET after your house move!

@2mumlife your sister’s nightmare would be a dream for many of us, I’m sure you won’t take comments to heart. Glad you are enjoying sharing your wonderful news!

@daisypizza my sister is very just like that - forgets that other people might want to do things differently than she does 🙄