IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

@2mumlife thank you ❤ it's always so disappointing but we know the stats and everything. It has definitely made me appreciate my 'baby' that little bit more 😍
I'm away for work and holiday most of March, so will ask the clinic if I can go on my March cycle which would mean a transfer early/mid April (assuming my cycles go back to being regular after this attempt). I really hope they're good with another natural cycle - scheduling is a pain but it's so much less intense!

@beachbum85 thinking if you this morning x

@daisypizza How are you getting on? Have you had your transfer now?

@2mumlife thank you so much, I really appreciate the support! Obviously it was negative this morning so I've emailed the clinic asking about another attempt with our last embryo... and in the meantime my partner and I are eating some delicious cake which he got to cheer us up a bit 😅
How are you? I hope you're feeling well!

@daisypizza I hope all has gone smoothly for you xxx

Hello and thank you for good wishes. It was a hectic few days with work and preparing.

When I arrived the whole team were having a group photo, it’s amazing to see how many people are working behind the scenes at the clinics (also a sign of what a huge business it is!)

I was very nervous but felt calmer once I was in the theatre and watched it all on the screen. It went much more smoothly than my previous transfers.

DH and DC were allowed into my room once I’d had a lie down. It’s like a hotel room with a little en-suite, TV and menu, dressing gown and slippers. Not that any of that matters but it’s a relaxing space and I’m choosing to be positive for now, I know it will be a roller coaster as usual.

I’ve got some prescription vitamin D l and the progesterone but it feels weird to not be having the same dose of progesterone as in a medicated cycle. They said not as much is needed.

We have our flight soon, it was really expensive but over the weekend was worse and it’s my sister’s birthday celebrations so didn’t feel like hanging around this time.

@beachbum85 I’m so sorry the final result this time was negative. Definitely eat the cake. Hope conversations with the clinic go well.

@2mumlife congratulations on the scan, I had also forgotten about seeing the heartbeat and hearing it later in the pregnancy. Hope all continues to go well.

@daisypizza Glad flights were ok and transfer went really well. Sounds quite idilic the clinic there! My clinic you just about have a chance to put on your clothes again before off you go! Are you going to test early, or waiting for OTD?

@beachbum85 Cake sounds like an excellent solution. Do you know when you might go again?

Im feeing horrendously ill and had a bit more spotting, so things a bit iffy here. Been considering a private scan for some reassurance. Feeing nauseous all the time is also starting to get to me I feel I’m being a really absent parent just now as partner needing to do most the child care as I’m just really floppy

@2mumlife hoping the spotting goes away. I remember that I had it in the early weeks with my successful pregnancy, as well as the sickness. I did book private scans for reassurance (and they gave me a load of sick bags!) There are some times when you can’t always be a present parent and this is definitely one of them!

I’m not planning to test super early but my clinic want me to have a blood test next Sunday which is complicated to arrange. They said if using a home pregnancy test wait until Tuesday which would be 12 days post transfer. So I’ll do a home pregnancy test next weekend and possibly after that. In two minds as to whether there would be any point doing the blood test if negative, or would it tell them anything (like if it was a chemical and how would it help to know).

The clinic is very nice, it’s weird going back with your child (they have different times when children can come in) and knowing they were in the freezer there somewhere. And hoping the little embryo they took out of the freezer will also become a child. Just trying to be positive this week, why not? The science of it all is amazing really.

@2mumlife I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time! I would try not to worry about not being as present as you usually are... it's totally understandable and only a short time in the grand scheme of things. Early pregnancy sickness is terrible... sending big hugs and I hope that eases off but especially I hope the spotting stops so you have something less on your mind xxx

@daisypizza I'm glad it was such a positive experience for you. Being back with your child sounds really lovely! I've always thought I'd love to introduce my toddler to the nurses in the clinic but just generally, I'm with you, the science is something else! Congrats on being PUPO and I hope you're feeling well and this week goes smoothly!

Thanks both, we've got a follow up discussion with the clinic towards the end of March. It's around the same time as I'd be expecting my period, I think, so hopefully we can get in on that cycle. My main question is really around progesterone as I was on Cyclogest 3 times a day, whereas only twice on my successful round, and this time was a natural one so I thought they'd prescribe less, not more. TMI: 4 days after stopping, I'm still getting the milky discharge that comes with the progesterone, so I wonder if it was too much, if there is such a thing? @daisypizza did you get a blood test for progesterone before transfer?

Hi all, just sticking my head back in as I now have my transfer set for Wednesday. This cycle has been a bit of a disaster really - my lining wasn't thin enough on my day2 baseline scan so I had to go back the day after for another one (on a Saturday, messing up plans I had to see my sister). I also had a cyst on my ovary so they had to do bloods to check it wasn't emitting hormones - thankfully all ok.

I've been really weirdly disconnected from this cycle, and I'm wondering if it's a weird form of denial or maybe self sabotage - I've been really lax with my meds and realised yesterday that I'd forgotten to take half of the tablets I was supposed to start on Friday 😬. Went to start taking my prednisolone this morning and realised the clinic had accidentally left it off my prescription so I don't have any. I spent half an hour on the phone to them this morning and they've emailed an emergency prescription to my local pharmacy to pick up.

DH is struggling a bit with it all - he didn't really want to do another cycle after the miscarriage last year and I'm starting to wonder if it was a good idea for either of us. I keep bottling my injections and DH is having to do them all for me.

Eurgh that was a nice angsty stream of consciousness for a Monday morning, apologies for that!

@2mumlife so sorry you're having a rough time of it - please don't feel bad for not being 100% present, your body currently growing a tiny human! I hope the spotting clear up soon, it's the worst thing when you're terrified every time you go to the toilet.

@beachbum85 I'm so very sorry for your negative test, that's so gutting for you 😢I hope you can get in on your next cycle next month, keeping everything crossed for you and hope the follow up chat goes well.

@daisypizza congratulations on your transfer! It sounds like a very exotic way of doing it, how lovely to combine it with a little break and to be able to take your toddler with you.

Hoping to have a not so mopey update after transfer on wednesday 😂

@MindatWork it’s good to vent with people who get it.

Hoping transfer process goes smoothly, sending lots of luck!

@MindatWork nice to hear from you again and I hope the transfer went smoothly today! Sounds like a rough time getting to this point, but hopefully it will go well and prove it was all the right decision 🤞🏼

Thank you! Follow up scheduled for the end of the month and I've just paid for another FET...

Hi everyone! Just wanted to check in.

I'm here with you @MindatWork. We both had losses at a similar time and I've just started stims for another round. I'm in a weird place with it all. I don't even dare get my hopes up that I'll get a transfer as I got OHSS last time and couldn't. Equally hope is sort of what gets you through all of it!

Wishing you all the luck in the world and completely with you in the wobbly feelings. You've got this.

@Olivia199 sorry to hear about your loss.

The whole IVF process can be so tough mentally. Hoping that you are monitored closely for OHSS this time and that things go fairly smoothly.

Lovely to hear from you @Olivia199 - hope the stims are going ok. I think it’s so tough when you’re coming back after a loss as I feel like a positive mental attitude is so strongly tied in to ivf success, so it’s really weird when you’re not in that 100% positive space you feel you should be. Hope they’re keeping an eye on the OHSS, it can be really nasty.

But as you say there has to be some hope otherwise what’s the point?! I’m 3dp 5dt transfer now and feeling absolutely exhausted - I had quite a bit of cramping the first day but seems to have settled now. I actually got my first faint positive test on 6dp 5dt last time but am going to try not to test early this time. Just taking every day as it comes ♥️.

Hoping everyone else is doing ok xxxx

Just an update, BFN here at 10DP5DT.
My clinic wanted me to have a beta test today but difficult to arrange on a Sunday. They accept the result of a home pregnancy test at 12 days post transfer but I’ll speak to them tomorrow, it’s clear we’re out.

I’m so upset but also surprisingly shocked, I really felt like it had worked, have had cramping ever since the transfer, sore boobs especially when breastfeeding and been absolutely exhausted but I guess that has been a combination of the progesterone (even though only 400mg/day) and just the stress/pressure of the process plus life with a toddler.

I will take a few days to wallow a bit, had a family event today and managed to plaster on a smile for a while but it was bloody hard. I guess I’ll wait for my period now but March is pretty much impossible logistically.

I haven’t had any bleeding at all - in the past I have bled before test day on a fresh transfer, my successful FET I had some bleeding before test day which I guess was implantation bleeding.

Anyway hoping for more cheerful news for others on here.

@beachbum85 I forgot to say they didn’t check my progesterone levels before transfer. I’m trying to figure out if there is any value in getting progesterone blood test now.

Ohhhhh @daisypizza I'm so, so sorry. It's really shitty and super hard, especially if you had all the symptoms... I didn't (and no bleeding like I had with previous failed transfer either!) but had convinced myself it worked anyway. Sending you hugs and love and I hope you can take some time to process it and feel all the feelings, and then make a plan with the clinic.
Not sure about the progesterone - I had only heard about testing the day before transfer.

@MindatWork I hope you're still feeling well and positive! 💪🏼 Stay strong... You can make it to OTD! Will be keeping everything crossed for you xxx

Hi again @Olivia199 and I hope this cycle is going smoothly and I really hope they can keep the OHSS away this time 🤞🏼 definitely don't give up hope, if nothing else we're all proud that it can and does work 😊 I'll be thinking of you!

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been quiet, just been battling through the first trimester. Had my booking in appointment today, and have my 12 week scan in 4 weeks, so getting there! Still feeling intermittently like foetus is trying to kill me. Also (tmi sorry) the past 1-2 weeks BF my toddler has become so flipping painful as my nipple is now HUGE. Hoping if I can claw my way through the first trimester things will start improving soon.

@daisypizza Sorry to hear you're out. Its worse when you felt really positive about your symptoms. Hope you're able to take some time for yourself this week, as family events can be really hard.

@MindatWork Keep hanging in their until testing day. I think being a bit lax about meds and things is also just a bit because life is really busy when you have a child already, and I've personally felt like its just a lot less consuming (mentally) this time around than it was TTC the first time if that makes sense? There just isn't the time to obsess about it all as much.

@beachbum85 That's exciting you've paid for another FET. How many embryos do you have left?

@MindatWork - Congratulations on your transfer lovely. It is so strange to not be in it with raving positivity 100% of the time but I constantly try and remind myself that it doesn't stop millions from getting pregnant!

I had my scan today which showed I've over stimulated despite the lowered dose. They've told me to stop my Gonal F after tomorrow and collection Friday. Unfortunately we can't just collect early are they're ALL just below the line. So they need to grow a bit but obviously chances are they'll all bloody grow. So I guess we wait and see what happens! I've a nice bottle of wine planned for Saturday should it all go to freeze.

I'm so sorry @daisypizza. Sending you all the love.

@beachbum85 - hello! Thank you, I'm forever hopeful but trying to be real in my expectations here. I thought I had gone into this with fair expectations and not let myself get ahead but evidently not, judging by my weepy feeling all day following my scan!
Trying to see the silver lining of hopefully many more embryos.

How exciting with your FET.

@Olivia199 How are you feeling physically? Are you feeling bloated? Hopefully you have a really good egg collection and don’t get too many issues from overstimulation x

@22mumlife - I'm definitely bloated. Something I learnt this morning while trying to fit into my jeans (leggins it is I guess!) And my ovaries, particularly my right, are quite sore. I've another scan Wednesday so hopefully the perfect amount mature! But trying to keep realistic, and trying not to mope. Gosh it's a fine line!

@Olivia199 Hopefully you stay feeling ok-ish and they can still get you to egg collection!

I'm so so sorry @daisypizza, what an upsetting result, especially as you'd been having symptoms😪. I hope your family event was ok and you've managed to take some time as a family to recover. Sending love xxxxxx

@2mumlife sorry to hear you've not been feeling well, bet that 12 week scan feels like a lifetime away! I remember time really slowing down in the first trimester with DD and every day feels like a week.

@Olivia199 How are you feeling today? Hope your clinic are looking after you, OHSS sucks. I had 18 eggs collected in my successful cycle with DD and and it felt like I had two bunches of grapes bouncing around my abdomen. Felt absolutely hideous for 2 weeks after (we were doing a freeze all anyway) - my clinic just chucked me some Cabergoline and told me to go to A&E if i was worried 🙄.

@beachbum85 I'm ok thanks - feeling some symptoms but well aware it could be the huge amount of progesterone I@m on, plus the prednisolone, blood thinners and oestrogen 😶. I've got next week off work and OTD is 13 March so I have time to wallow if it's negative

Hello, thanks for all the sympathy. I have a call with our consultant next week so I guess I’ll have my period by then and we can talk about next steps. I am a bit relieved that work gets in the way this month, will give me a mental break (at least until I get into impatient mode again!)

We’ve both been so sad but definitely appreciating our ‘baby’ very much as @beachbum85 said earlier in the thread.

Keep on keeping on @2mumlife hope you can get through this first trimester and feel a bit more blooming soon!

@Olivia199 hoping all will go smoothly and you’ll feel relief after egg collection.

@MindatWork hang in there, hoping no wallowing will be required!

@beachbum85 good to see you are pressing ahead and have paid for FET already. I spent more on travel, accommodation and scans/blood tests in the UK than the actual FET cost itself.

@MindatWork - I'm not too bad thank you. Scan shows 24 follicles over the 16mm mark and a few just below. Triggering tonight!
Last cycle I got 28 which obviously is amazing but yes I felt quite sore for a bit. Ready to get these out and start the next panic of "how many fertilise". (While drinking wine to make me feel better about the freeze all!).

How are you doing?

@MindatWork Feel like I've been stuck in the first trimester for a lifetime 😭this is definitely the last baby, not doing this again 😂. How you are feeling? I always find this second half of the TWW the worst bit. Do you have nice plans for the weekend to keep yourself busy?

@Olivia199 How are you getting on? The few days after egg collection are always so emotional I find, so crack out the wine (got to embrace the freeze-all where you can)