IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while, the miscarriage hit me hard this time so I’ve not been knowing what to say, then it’s been nursery bug after nursery bug for my little boy so we have all been wiped out since Christmas 😳 good luck to those starting their FET’s soon, and congratulations to those that have recently had their BFP 🎉 We are probably going to go again for another FET in March, I’m trying to loose some weight before we go again as my consultant suggested I could use to, talk about making me feel shit in an already shitty situation 🤔 also never been mentioned before until this miscarriage, it’s only slightly over NHS cut off 30. I’m doing it as if it helps in the slightest then I’m willing to do anything. Anyway hope you all have a good week xxx

@beachbum85 It’s funny how OTD varies. Sounds like you could test a bit earlier particularly if you can test together at a weekend.

@Bobbin83 I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Hopefully this upcoming cycle will be the one for you. I think consultants need to be so careful when discussing weight, especially with being through such a challenging experience. Hope you’re doing ok

The nausea and tiredness has really started hitting here not helped with DD having a fever over the weekend and being told this morning at drop off that they’ve had a few babies off with covid recently 😭. I tested yesterday with a clear blue digital and got a 3+ weeks result at 20dp5dt so things seem to be progressing well. Looking forward to getting to the early scan in 2 weeks and checking everything’s going ok.

I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time @Bobbin83 😥good to hear you have a plan for next month and I hope any weight loss will help you feel better, no thanks for the consultant for bringing it up now and in that way! Very best of luck with the FET 🤞🏼 and we'll be here if you want to talk through it all xxx

@2mumlife glad to see everything is progressing well, despite the nausea, fatigue and your daughter feeling unwell - I hope she's better now and you manage to keep COVID away! I remember getting the 3+ weeks last time and taking that as the moment to stop testing... big relief and your scan will soon be here for better reassurance.

I think we might test on Sunday, or maybe best to wait till Monday (8dp5dt) - we both work from home and my day is very quiet as my colleagues are on holiday, so if it's a negative I can take a sick day (and my partner will be fine because in his mind it's always the worst case scenario until we learn otherwise).

In the meantime, I remembered I had a symptom log from the round that gave us our son, and now i can't help but compare, although I don't really feel anything but an achey belly at times 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I definitely know it's silly to symptom spot, especially so early 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Bobbin83 hello, sorry to hear about your miscarriage 💐 and the difficult time in general. Hope the run of nursery bugs slows down!

@2mumlife great news on the 3 weeks plus, another milestone!

@beachbum85 my clinic did test day as 9 or 10 days post transfer if having a beta or I think they said 12 days for me last time as I was using a home pregnancy test but we didn’t wait quite that long so we could do it on a weekend and have time to process.

My clinic have said it looks like we can go ahead with the transfer towards the end of next week! I’m in shock in a good way, had thought it would be a no. Have been upping vitamin D a lot, lining looks good so now I just need to wait to hear when so I can book flights.

Random question but previous transfers I remember being very careful not to lift anything heavy, now I have a toddler (who wants carried a lot, I can avoid that but getting into car seat etc is more difficult). Did your clinics give any advice?

@beachbum85 How are you getting on? I kept a bit of a diary with our DDs round too and also went back for a look. Some of my early symptoms were similar but I've not had any breast tenderness this time around (I wonder if having BF / current BFing changes it?). Its really hard not to try to symptom spot. Might be worth waiting until Monday as testing 7dp5dt on Sunday may still be a little early. Especially if you can take the day off. Even so at 8dp5dt I wouldn't completely rule it out if its not positive.

@daisypizza That's great news you can still go ahead with transfer! Do you find it stressful having to book flights on short notice? Or are you used to it? I also carry my DD a lot. I didn't ask for any advice, but the general approach I take to all things is that very very little you do is going to stop an embryo that's going to implant from implanting. I've BF and lifted DD and this one stuck, if that gives you any reassurance. I think though always go with what you feel comfortable with, so if you would feel better trying to minimise lifting then go with that.

So I had some bleeding Monday evening (fresh blood with a couple of little clots). luckily it had nearly completely stopped by morning and totally stopped by late morning, and not had any more bleeding since. Phoned my clinic and they've moved my early pregnancy scan forward a week, so will now get scan on Monday at 6+5 to try to get some reassurance a bit sooner that everything is still ok. I also gave EPU a quick call though I wasn't expecting much as it was before 6 weeks, but the nurse there was reassuring and did say if I had any more bleeding to call again and they'd ask me to come in. I had a SCH with DD and had a much bigger bleed with her at pretty much the same time, so I do wonder if perhaps its happened again. At least for now everything seems stable and my symptoms are getting worse, so I'm hopeful everythings ok. I just hate how precarious the first trimester is

@daisypizza that's great news! So glad for you! Will you take a few extra days to chill whilst you're there?
My clinic said 'carry on with your life as usual', didn't mention lifting at all. I did think about it but honestly it's impossible not to carry my toddler and I know women go through a lot more physical strain without problems, so I'm trying to put that to the back of my mind (but I must say I'm finally seeing a positive side to my son being quite underweight for his age!).

Oh @2mumlife I'm sorry to hear about the bleeding - I can imagine it must be unsettling even though it was short and has happened in your previous pregnancy! Great to hear that they've moved your scan and the EPU were helpful, and especially that your symptoms are getting stronger 💪🏼 Sounds promising to me, but I imagine Monday can't come soon enough!

I'm glad you've said that about breast tenderness because I also have absolutely none of that, and I did last time round. I don't have many symptoms at all today - just some twinges around the ovaries. Last time round, the only thing that convinced me I was pregnant before testing was sharps pains whenever I yawned, coughed, or sneezed from about 5 days in. So I'm kind of waiting for that but also thinking that my uterus has been through a lot since, so it might be different this time. Yeah, I'm also thinking that waiting till Monday is probably better, although I know I'll keep hoping for a miracle on Friday if it's negative before then so that might do my mind in 🤦🏻‍♀️

@beachbum85 Yeah I had noted down having really tender boobs with DD and none of that at all this time around. I had some sharp stabbing pains with DD during the TWW but with this pregnancy just had light cramping. The major thing has just been the nausea that kicked in even during TWW, but I definitely seem to be suffering more with it this time around. They say every pregnancy is so different though, so I don't think having/not having symptoms you had last time guarantees anything. That's the downside of testing early you then wonder if it was too early to test or not and hate that bit!

@2mumlife light cramping is all I'm having too but, as you say, each person and each pregnancy is different and there's really no way of knowing till you test. I hope your nausea isn't too bad... I felt so sick for so long when I was pregnant with my son that I honestly forgot what it was like not to feel nauseous, and I remember the struggle, and really hope it eases up for you (although I guess it provides reassurance too!). Hope there's been no more signs of bleeding either xxx

@beachbum85 I would say light cramping is fairly positive sign, just have to wait and see. Are you being able to distract yourself? No more bleeding here which is good but I've asked GP for an antiemetic as I'm just not able to function at the moment. It wasn't nearly this bad with DD - I'm not vomiting, just spending all day every day right on the edge and I think if I didn't have quite the resolve not to vomit I would be if that makes sense?

@2mumlife I do have quite a bit of work to do these days, so that's keeping my mind busy to some extent 😊
Ugh that sounds really tough, I'm sorry! I will say that I used to feel better after vomiting... I think I vomited every day from 6w to 14w+, but I used to get a little bit of relief although short-lived afterwards. But, of course, you know your body best! I hope the GP gives you something and it works quick!

@beachbum85 The first trimester is just a bit awful isn’t it? The antiemetic is helping a bit I think. Yesterday I also took a nap with my toddler 😂

How are you feeling about testing? Have you decided if you’ll test Sunday or Monday? Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

Thanks @2mumlife ... I tested just now and it's negative 😢 I know there's a tiny, tiny possibility that it's too early (7dp5dt) but I wasn't feeling v positive about it the last couple of days so I kind of wanted to get that BFN out of the way

@beachbum85 Im keeping fingers crossed for you that there is still hope. What kind of test did you use? If it was a 25iu one there might still be a chance 🤞🤞🤞

Oh @beachbum85 not sure what to say, when you haven’t got certainty either way I will hold some hope for you but here if todays result turns out to be correct. 💐

@2mumlife to answer the question about flights, I am used to it but still find it stressful. Over different cycles we have either booked flights and hoped for the best or watched as prices got higher closer to the date. Sometimes with fresh cycles we had to stay in Spain longer and pay a lot extra in travel and accommodation cost so I guess the FET avoids that at least.

We’ve booked flights for transfer on Thursday so trying to get some work done today to hand over, I don’t want to be contacted, just want to relax as far as possible. I’ve started with progesterone now and it all feels a bit real.

@daisypizza oh wow transfer is really soon! 🤩 hope you have a smooth journey over and that you can get a bit of sun and relaxation before the transfer

@2mumlife thank you, but it was a 10IU one so I think there should have been a line today if it were going to be a BFP on OTD 😑this is definitely going to be the last time I test early though... it's more of a mindf* than I expected...
@daisypizza thank you so much!
ohhh I didn't realise you were transferring so soon, that's very exciting! I hope the progesterone is treating you OK, and you manage to relax, and the transfer goes smoothly 😘keeping everything crossed for you xxx

@2mumlife thinking of you and your scan today - hope all went well xxx

@beachbum85 yeah early testing just never ends well - regardless of the result you'll just keep testing and being in limbo. When will you do your next test? Still holding some hope for you x

Everything looked good a scan (phew!). Measuring 6+4 which is pretty bang on for being 6+5 today, and little heartbeat fluttering away. Implanted in a good spot and singleton pregnancy as we were expecting with single embryo transfer (also a relief moment, no twins wanted here thanks!). No sign of SCH or anything to explain the bleeding I had last week. Sonographer asked if I wanted to take a little video on my phone of the heartbeat which was lovely as didn't have anything like that for DD. Just need to order a few more meds to see me through and then official discharged from fertility clinic. So its just a case of keeping on pushing through the first trimester nausea and hopefully keep doing what its doing until the 12 week scan 🤞 It still feels a bit surreal to be honest - we had 7 cycles to get DD (4 IUI, 1 fresh transfer and 2 FETs) so this working on first try isn't really what I was expecting - I keep kind of waiting for something to go wrong, as it just seems too easy?

@2mumlife ohhhh that's amazing news! Im so happy for you 😍 nothing like seeing the little bean and hearing the heartbeat! I know what you mean about feeling like it's too good to be true... I felt like that every day until my son was born and even after! So glad you hadn't got to go through such an ordeal this time and let's hope everything keeps going so smoothly all along 🤞🏼

I'll just keep testing every day until Friday once I'm in this loop, but today's was negative again so I feel like I'm processing the loss already and getting mentally prepared to go again with our last embryo.

@beachbum85 Didn't get to hear the heartbeat unfortunately, just see it. My clinic never seem to listen in that early. But still lovely to see it in there doing well. I think I'd mentally prepared myself for it to take awhile again this time around that I can't quite believe it actually worked this time.

I'm sorry you're in the testing loop now :( its a really rough place to be. Can you plan to go do something nice at the weekend?

oh yes @2mumlife that's right, I had totally forgotten that you get to see the heartbeat even before hearing it. Definitely still lovely - every step is special in itself 😍

Unfortunately I got over-positive and thought that if it worked last time it could work again and totally ignored all the stats and numbers that I'm usually obsessed with, so today has been quite tough.
We'll be going back home for the weekend and catching up with lots of family and friends, which is always lovely and will leave me with a lot less time to keep thinking about it all 😊 I'm pretty sure that next week this will all be feeling like it happened a while ago 🤞🏼

@beachbum85 I think it is hard going through a sibling round as you come with it with your experiences of what it was like trying before (good or bad) and really it’s a whole different experience I guess conceiving a sibling. All we can do is be kind to ourselves x

@beachbum85 How are you doing? Are you still testing every day? 💐

Thanks for checking in @2mumlife 😘 yes, still testing every day and still negative so we've called it, although we'll test on Friday beore calling the clinic. I had a rough day on Monday feeling very sorry for myself, but I'm doing a lot better now and looking forward to planning the next transfer 🤞🏼
How are you? Hope your week has continued to go well!

@daisypizza I hope your handover has gone well and safe travels, and good luck for tomorrow!

@beachbum85 I'm sorry to hear there wasn't a late positive for you :( will you plan next transfer for soon as possible? Give your wee boy loads of cuddles x

@daisypizza Safe travels and good luck for transfer! Hope it all goes smoothly.