IVF Oct/Nov

[NorthernDuckling]

I can’t see a thread for anyone doing egg collection early November so thought I’d start one.
had my nurses appointment earlier this week to set out my plan with EC on 7/11 - eek. It’s my first NHS round (we were going to do it in April but I didn’t feel ready).
I was due to start period yesterday but it hasn’t happened and hoping it starts today, the clinic said there was some wiggle room but not much. Why is it I can usually predict it to the hour and when you need it to start it doesn’t 🤯
I would love to chat to anyone else with EC early Nov as DH is already fed up of me talking about it - it’s going to be a long 6 weeks!

@Liddy82 it is such a hard process and having a clinic that doesn’t feel supportive/ organised as well makes it doubly hard.

I’m sorry you and your partner are struggling, perhaps being on a waiting list for a review appointment might not be such a bad thing, it gives you both time to reflect and not just launch into another cycle, you will have time to discuss future rounds when everything isn’t quite so raw and a few more months to save up.

It is difficult when people are having babies all around you, I’ve drifted away from a lot of friends over the past few years mainly because we don’t have much in common any more, but I’ve also met new friends and people I wouldn’t socialise with if I’d had a child. We’ve been able to do some wonderful holidays which we would never be able to do/afford with a baby, and we’ve been able to sponsor a Ukrainian refugee family as we had spare rooms. I do really want a baby but also I want to make the most of now and try to appreciate what I have - I guess it’s my way of coping.

Does your clinic have a counsellor you or your partner can speak to? It might help you both understand more about how you are feeling and decide on the future, because you both need to be happy with the decision whichever path you take.

@NorthernDuckling i have been having counselling on my own.

Our problem is my age and low ovarian reserve, time is not on our side.

you sound like you are handling things so well 🥰

@Liddy82 I’m doing ok, but I do have a wobble - I was pretty hysterical when it failed which surprised both me and DH - he said “I wasn’t expecting that” but I was so certain it had worked.
I struggle with DM, she is the most optimistic person ever - she’s redecorated her spare room for this mythical baby so I’m constantly giving her the negative stats, bizarrely I think that has helped me because I feel like if it works it’s a bonus but it’s not likely iyswim.
We have also been trying off and on since we got married 10 years ago off with not even a whiff of a positive. We decided at the outset that we were only going to do the nhs round (although I’m wavering as it wasn’t as bad as I had built up in my head and we got 4 blasts). DM would literally pay for as many rounds as I want which is really tough because DH and I could probably afford 3 rounds but our finances would give us an end date, whilst DM would willingly pay £100k+ for a grandchild. This brings its own issues because I’ve always wanted to be financially independent of my parents and everything we have, we earned ourselves. I feel like DM is trying to make up for missing my childhood (I boarded) so there are other challenges too.
I don’t know what your OH is like, but DH is not one for showing emotions and is a be strong type, he did counselling a while ago which really helped him and I think he found it easier to talk to the counsellor openly than to me. He was really reluctant to start with, but we found a really great guy who was almost like a mentor - he was older (early 60s at a guess) and had the life experience and patience. DH found it really helpful - he went in person to the guys house and had a coffee in his kitchen, far more relaxed type counselling rather than a call/zoom/ clinic. Would your OH be prepared to do counselling if you found one that suited him? TBH, I understand if he doesn’t, I tried one session and didn’t find it helpful, I’m a sharer of problems with DH and DM anyway and prefer to think things through on my own, although it might be I just didn’t gel with the counsellor.

@Liddy82 I'm with nhs and didn't get a follow up appointment so I contacted them as didn't hear nothing after I sent an email and left voicemail to saymy test was negative. They rung me today and apologised for the delay, but it's besides the point I thought they were/should be there for us no matter what

@NorthernDuckling it’s a lot isn’t it when people offer to financially support. But I don’t like to borrow money from family.

My OH is not a very emotional person, I do counselling but it isn’t for him. He says he is sad but more hurt with how I am towards him. Im very angry at him and I’m pushing him away. It’s always been my defence mechanism.

He doesn’t want to go for a third cycle and said he will support me but it would be me having to pay for it.

@SarahJane10 I’m private which I feel makes it slightly worse as I’m paying for a service I’m not getting. I feel regardless if it’s funded or self-funded, they should book a follow up when you start your cycle.

don’t know about you but I feel lost and in limbo just waiting to here what went wrong etc

@SarahJane10 @Liddy82 it is so frustrating when you have to chase the clinic so much, it sounds like you do get a review appointment though @SarahJane10 which is good news (and presumably you don’t have to pay for if it’s nhs). I’d ask in the review appointment whether the FET is covered and what the definition of a cycle is in your CCG because mine is definitely covered.
I agree booking the follow up when they do the transfer makes sense, my clinic seem almost the opposite to yours, they want to rush us through and I prefer to take my time, if Christmas wasn’t in the way they’d be doing the FET in a couple of weeks.

@Liddy82 it is such a tough process and it is harder if you don’t feel like you can share your problems. I think it must be difficult for the partner because they see you upset and going through the hormonal changes and they can’t do anything to help. My DH would have chosen to do ivf if I hadn’t pushed for it. I think he’s struggled with the process more than me - mainly because the clinic focus on me and he isn’t really included in the consultations (we had our first appointment in June 2020 so it was all covid rules where I attended alone, I had about 5 scans and 2 operations for polyps). Do you know why you’re pushing him away, is there a way you can help him feel more involved?
Three cycles are supposed to give you the best results but I guess it depends on your specific circumstances. Maybe you could try the long protocol like @Thelotusflower because she seems to be having great results with low reserves.

@Nat4819

Good luck with your scan tomorrow. Hope your lining is what it should be and you can progress on to the next step and arrange your ET.

I have a (hopefully) final scan on monday. All being well they should book me in for EC on Wed.

@Thelotusflower Thank you! Thankfully my lining is now at 8mm so clinic is happy and my transfer has been booked for Monday 12th Dec. Am both equally excited and terrified (of it not working). Best of luck for your scan tomorrow, hope everything continues to go really well for you! 🤗

@Nat4819 Thats great news and nothing less than I expected! If my EC goes ahead on Wed as planned, then our transfer is likely to be on Mon 12th too!

@Thelotusflower Thank you! Fingers crossed your EC goes ahead as planned on Weds and we can be transfer / TWW buddies 🤗 x

Trigger shot tonight. EC Wednesday. ET transfer provisionally on Monday if all goes well. @Nat4819 2 week wait, here we come!

Hope everyone is doing well.

Im pretty sure my protocol says to continue prednisolone, but stop all injections- does this sound right to anyone who has been on prednisolone? Especially as later it says i double my dose so it must mean i continue right? Im sire it is, just doubting myself.

Ignore progesterone question! Makes sense now.

I mean the predisonlone question. 🙄

@Thelotusflower Good luck for EC tomorrow!! 🤞🏾☘️

@Nat4819 aw, thanks. 36 follicles found now, so hoping some are mature enough and of quality.

@Thelotusflower That's fab news, you will definitely get lots of quality eggs out of that! Hope you aren't feeling too uncomfortable - I had 49 follicles by the end and I was so bloated, almost cried with relief after EC!

@Nat4819 oh my word! How many were mature and managed to fertilise, if you dont mind my asking? Will update tomorrow.

For now im constipated 🙄

Not all 49 follicles were large enough to contain a mature egg (thank goodness as I was already ready to burst!). In the end we got 21 eggs, 18 were mature and then 11 fertilised via ICSI so a 60% fertilisation rate which was within the normal range for ICSI, albeit at the lower end.

Thats good to know @Nat4819 . So out of the 36 follicles they saw on monday, 19 eggs were retrieved. So sounds good. Tomorrow we find out how manu are mature and how many fertilise.

@Thelotusflower So pleased everything went well, 19 is a great number!! 👍🏾 How are you feeling? Will keep everything g crossed that a great number were mature and fertilise, only a few days away from transfer now!

Thanks @Nat4819 feeling pretty sore. But everything went well. So im happy. Cant believe we made it this far. After over 15 years of infertility and lots of treatment, i do feel positive, that maybe this is it. And if not, then at least hooe we get quite a few good embryos, which gives me hope for the future.

@Thelotusflower that is AMAZING, those results are fantastic. I really hope this round works for you, we need to finish this transfer round on a high! Although I’d like to carry on the thread for those doing transfers in Jan.
I’ve been enjoying my time before my appointment next week, I’ve had lots of hot baths, glasses of wine and Christmas cheese! 😳
I’m kind of nervous excited about the next transfer, now I know what to expect, I think it will be harder and I’ll be on high alert for my period starting in the tww. I’m going to ask them to monitor my progesterone because it sounds like it shouldn’t be possible to get your period during the tww. I also want to find out whether they would consider doing the transfer without sedating me, I felt sorry for DH when everyone else’s OH were going in to see the transfer happen and he was stuck in the waiting room for 3 hours! It also took me a lot longer to recover, I was constipated for days (maybe because I was sedated the week before too) and really really tired.

@SarahJane10 did you get your review appointment booked in? I hope it is covered in your NHS round and you don’t need to do all the tests again. X

Hey, soz not been here for a while busy with Xmas and shopping. My consultation isn't covered by nhs, but the telephone appointment I had last week was. It was only to say sorry it didn't work and where I'd be going forward.