FET in September/October

[MyEasterEggs]

I’m preparing to start my treatment cycle in a month or so and thought it might be helpful to start up a thread for anyone heading for FET soon.

This will be my first FET so I’m nervous but also feeling hopeful having gone through a fair amount of testing and treatment. Think I’m about as prepared as I’ll ever be!

Current cycle finally got going two days ago after a bit of a delay and I’ve decided to use it to focus on eating well and getting into the right headspace.

Anyone at a similar stage and want some company?

Hi all, I just wondered if anyone else found it really hard to concentrate or focus at work in the couple of days leading up to transfer? All I can think about it whether it will survive the thaw, whether my hormone levels are ok and so on. But mostly about whether it will survive the thaw as it’s a below average embryo! Does anyone else understand this feeling and what did you do about it? Thank you ❤️

@OrangeBengal yes, my nephew is fit and healthy. He did have some treatment including physio to support his mobility, but this was due to the size of his twin and how he’d been lying on his legs as he developed. When is your next scan? Hope you can take it easy between now and then.

@mangoskip I think we can all relate. It’s very much a waiting and wondering game - before, during and after - and I found it impossible to focus at the FET stage. So I mostly got lost in books and films. Some days are better than others and you might find you want the distraction of work or other activities.

Hi @Bookbug92 my symptoms disappeared completely at 10.4 weeks. Just over night I woke up feeling great. I’m 13 weeks on Friday and they’ve not returned. The midwife said when the placenta takes over that’s when you should feel better and this can happen as early as 10 weeks, some peoples placenta takes longer. I’m now embracing it as my scans are fine and I have a Doppler at home as well. Hope this helps.

Thanks @MyEasterEggs, that’s good to know. Next scan on Wednesday, I’ve decided not to pay much attention to spotting / bleeding as apparently it’ll only be something other than the haematoma if there is pain and clots, so hopefully that’ll help anxiety-wise. Other than going to acupuncture tomorrow and my hospital meet & greet on Friday, I’ll try to not do much.

@OrangeBengal I'm so sorry you're going through this. It might be a comfort to know that both twins are together in this and they will always have this bond. I know that sounds so fluffy and philosophical but there's so much evidence out there about the bonds between twins, that clearly happens very early on. This baby will always be a twin and it'll be nice for him or her to look back on scans and see it's other half was right there with them.

Thanks @chloedancer88. My midwife visit was really good, she actually made us feel a bit better.

@OrangeBengal I'm so glad. What's the plan moving forward for you? Did you settle on a midwife?

Yes, we were really happy with the person we met yesterday @chloedancer88, she seemed very knowledgeable and had a calming presence. We met a consultant today who seemed great, but the consultant we were going to compare them with has rescheduled our meeting, so there’s a bit more time until we make a decision there. I’m back at the clinic on Wednesday. The consultant today said she’d want to see me every two weeks whilst the haematoma still around, which is reassuring. She also said pessaries until 34 weeks!

Hi @OrangeBengal I hope you are ok. My older sister lost a twin in the first trimester too, her son is now 15 years old and was born healthy, the information seems to indicate the odds are very good for your baby. I personally find that the science and statistics are helpful in providing some reassurance. I really hope it all goes smoothly from now on.

An update on my little bun, I had a 10 week scan and it's measuring at 10 weeks, good heartbeat and I saw little bun moving around, it was a big relief. I'm starting to feel a bit more optimistic.

@OrangeBengal that's fantastic,
I'm so glad you feel so supported. I hope you get the same with the consultant and it's amazing that you have the ability to take control over your healthcare and choose exactly who is looking after you. It's so important.

Sounds like they'll keep an extra special eye on you which is fantastic and it'll be such a reassurance to you both x

The midwife was saying more babies than first thought start out as twins and losses happen before the standard 12 week scan, so very few people know they were carrying twins. Both her and my potential consultant said that there is much less risk now, especially as I only had uterine surgery last year, so you’re right @SL42smbc I think science is helping us process. Wonderful news on your dancing baby.

Yes, I really feel reassured by the level of contact @chloedancer88 and realise we are very lucky to be able to shape our medical care.

@chloedancer88 great news on the midwife care and I hope you feel just as reassured with your chosen consultant. And good luck with Wednesday’s scan.

How far on is everyone now? And how are we all doing in terms of our care?

I’m 11+1 today and had my booking appointment with midwife on Friday. She was so lovely, and very sensitive while going through my history. She offered extra home visits on top of usual appts so we can listen in to baby if I’m anxious. We also agreed to refer me to perinatal mental health as while I’m in a fairly good place, I did have PND following the birth of my daughter and had counselling after I lost my son so it makes sense to have someone to speak to and be proactive about my care.

She’s also trying to bring my consultant appointment forward from 16 weeks so I have support through what’s likely to be the trickiest time for me. Won’t be easy with those milestones falling over Christmas and NY but fingers crossed I get some extra reassurance throughout that time.

Next scan is dating at 12+2 and it can’t come soon enough. I was toying with the idea of a private scan in a few days but decided to hold out as extra scans won’t change the outcome. So I’m finding other ways of calming my nerves and generally just trying to enjoy this time as much as I can.

@MyEasterEggs glad they are being so proactive.
I’m 13 weeks tomorrow. no idea how I got here. “12 week” scan is on Thursday and I’m so anxious. All my symptoms completely gone which I know can be normal but doesn’t help me relax

Glad you're getting such good support from your midwife @MyEasterEggs .
I'm the same as you 11+1 , had a private scan a couple of days ago and everything was good with baby. Our NHS scan isn't until 12+4 , I've been spotting continuously since 6 weeks, some days a bit heavier than others.. I'm just hoping that it's nothing to worry about and trying to keep reassured by the fact that my scans have been ok so far.

I'm 16 weeks on Tuesday. Finally showing and people are noticing it. I'm pretty sure I felt some tiny flickers of movement yesterday too but it's so hard to know at this stage. I have a 16week appt at the hospital because of the fibroid I found and my anomaly scan is 3 days before Christmas. I still don't feel like this is real most days. I'm not sure when that'll happen!

Oh @chloedancer88, movement, how magical! I’m few weeks behind most of you I think, so 8+3 today, have a scan on Wednesday and will basically be checked every two weeks until my subchorionic haematoma goes (maybe longer as I have high blood pressure and some small fibroids). @EandKDJ is this what you have too? I will basically spot (red, brown, pink) until it goes, which could take awhile, so I’ve decided to not worry about it, my clinic said only be concerned if there is pain and / or clots. My symptoms went a couple of days ago @LT103, so I stressing a little bit, but they’re back now. I’m sure for you this is just a sign of moving into the second trimester.

I’m so glad your midwife seems to be considering all factors when it comes to your care @MyEasterEggs and good work re trying to keep yourself calm and trying to enjoy being pregnant, we all know how hard this is.

@OrangeBengal , no they can't find a reason for the spotting in my case, nothing is showing on ultrasound. They're suggesting it's most likely from my cervix because I'm on so many different hormones (utrogestan pessaries three times a day, prontogest injections every few days and evorel patches) , they said my cervix is probably just very vascular. But because my progesterone levels are only borderline and I've had previous miscarriage they're keeping me on all the meds until 16 weeks. So I'm expecting that the spotting will just be something I need to get used to.

Similarly with me then @EandKDJ - if they’re not worrying too much about the bleeding we don’t need to either. The consultant I met the other day said I’ll be on pessaries until 34 weeks, which seems excessive, but if it’s what’s got to be done fair enough. I was looking to ditching all the drugs a lot earlier though!

I also did my pregnancy announcement today. It's a big step for me, admitting it feels very real.

@MyEasterEggs It sounds like you're being well looked after by your midwife. Glad they're doing whatever they can to help support you. I've found going for private scans a big help in managing my anxiety. It's the not knowing that gets me.

@LT103 good luck with your scan on Thursday. My symptoms disappeared just after 8 weeks and I'm 10 weeks now and everything is fine. It's still hard not to worry though!

@chloedancer88 that's a beautiful announcement! The little boots are so cute.

I went for my private nipt test today (vision test). Baby was measuring exactly on track now at 10+1 so has caught up. It was amazing seeing it move, it was kicking away and kept waving it's arm. I didn't know it would be moving so much this early! I'll hopefully get the results some time next week, yet another nerve wracking wait! We've decided not to find out the gender, I want to know but my husband really wants it to be a surprise when its born which I think will be quite nice too. All being well we'll tell the rest of the family once we get the results which I'm looking forward to, only our parents know for now.

@LT103 my symptoms have been easing too so try not to worry. I was reading that they peak at different times for people then start to reduce as placenta takes over. And that process can take longer for some than others. All these unknowns are so hard though. I get it.

@EandKDJ my cervix was quite vascular too and it caused my early spotting. A friend of mine experienced it the whole way through the first trimester which was so unsettling. Pleased they’re keeping a close eye on you and hope the dating scan comes around quickly.

@chloedancer88 How do you feel after that cute announcement?! I think things will feel more real for me when we begin to open up about the pregnancy. I’m not sure how or when we’ll share the news but I’d like to begin telling people from
January maybe. How did your kids react when you told them?

@OrangeBengal wishing you all the best for Thursday and hope you’re keeping well. You’ve had so much to process and have been in my thoughts.

@Kelvie103 when will you get your NIPT results? I had my Panorama bloods drawn last week so I think my results might be back by the end of next week.

@MyEasterEggs the website said up to 10 working days but they told me 5-7 and if I've not heard by Tuesday next week to give them a ring and they'll chase them up. Hoping I get the results before my nhs booking appointment and scan in 2 weeks!

@Kelvie103 it's so nice to see them moving around! I didn't find out either. I'm doing the quad test but it's not until next week so I can't relax or enjoy this pregnancy until then really. The kids have known since I found out. It was so hard to keep it from them since they knew I was having the treatment.

@MyEasterEggs I really won't relax until after the quad test next week. It's my next big hurdle. Then I think I'll settle myself for a bit! Lol how are you feeling?

@chloedancer88 ah yes I remember you saying. My little one has known all along too, which was initially quite tough because it added some extra pressure, but I felt I had to explain why I was going off to London for two weeks at a time every few months during treatment. She’s pretty relaxed about the whole thing tbh.

I was overthinking everything last night and could see myself becoming more and more anxious over the coming days so decided to ask for my scan to be brought forward to tomorrow. I feel like a nuisance at times but am trying my best to put my needs first and ask for the support that will keep me in a good head space. They’ve accommodated that but since I’ll only be 11+4 will it be the dating scan? My first consultant appointment and NIPT results should be in the next week or two so I’ll be relieved to pass those hurdles and know exactly what my care plan is.

Oh, just remember that I was going to share some advice I received from my midwife and consultant. Both (separately) advised only doing a test that checked for the big three - trisomy 21 (Down syndrome), trisomy 18 (Edwards syndrome) or trisomy 13 (Patau syndrome) because these are the most common conditions and those the medical community are confident will be accurately reported. Annoyingly one does the SAFE test and the other Harmony so the choice is not clear cut, but they have convinced me not to do the Panorama. I have my next scan at 8+6 tomorrow @MyEasterEggs then I have my first appointment with my consultant at 9+6. Scans kind of make me nervous now know though.