IVF / FET March/April 2022 Thread 2

[AliceAbsolum]

Shiny new thread as we filled up the last one.

@AliceAbsolum Are you able to go back to the EPU? I really hope everything's ok.

@Iwouldlikesomecake Take care of yourself today, with whatever helps you. A day off work is certainly a good idea. You can't blame yourself either: there are so many 'what ifs' about fertility and IVF that it will all drive you crazy.

Epu have not rang back. Said to ring back at 2pm if I haven't heard.
I'm having cramps and passing clots now, so pretty sure I'm miscarrying.
Does ivf even work? Or are we just paying to suffer.
Literally what are the chances of 2 miscarriages back to back. I don't even

Hi all, it's been a really difficult couple of days. The progesterone has made me feel awful and I have been feeling emotional and exhausted.

I have a day 3 update of the embryos. The embryologist said they were lower quality than they would expect. I had 11 eggs collected, 7 were ICSI fertilised and 7 have made it to day 3. Here are the grades:

1 is top quality at a 4,4
1 is a grade 3,3
4 are a grade 2
1 is a grade 1

So I'm not sure how I'm feeling really. They booked in transfer for Sunday, but it sounded all doom and gloom, I suppose because there are only 2 good ones and low chance of it being good quality at day 5...

So sorry, been a hectic week with work!

@AliceAbsolum oh I'm so sorry, I really hope all is ok. Sending lots of love. I hope the clinic can give you some answers and reassurance x

@Iwouldlikesomecake I'm so sorry. So sad. But absolutely do not blame yourself. It's ok to feel the way you do, all the emotions, but none of this is your fault. I'm glad you've got the day off, be kind to yourself x

I hope you ladies in the TTW are doing ok and coping x

Nothing new from me; waiting for AF to arrive. @PMAmostofthetime how are you doing with the waiting? Xx

@AliceAbsolum I'm so sorry about the bleeding..I am hoping it's not serious, could you potentially be passing the empty sac? I hope EPU can see you and give you some clarity..I really hope it works out well for you Xxx

@Iwouldlikesomecake I'm so sorry about the result today.. it's so bitterly disappointig.. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, you had no choice in how your body works, it's what you born with and it's completely out of your control.. 1 in 8 people are suffering with infertility and it's not their fault, it's just so unfair.. I hope you are ok and that your husband has brought some comfort. Does you family know? For me, all I wanted to do was call my mum and cry, it helped let my emotions out.. Xxx

@AliceAbsolum I'm so sorry about the bleeding..I am hoping it's not serious, could you potentially be passing the empty sac? I hope EPU can see you and give you some clarity..I really hope it works out well for you Xxx

@Iwouldlikesomecake I'm so sorry about the result today.. it's so bitterly disappointig.. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, you had no choice in how your body works, it's what you were born with and it's completely out of your control.. 1 in 8 people are suffering with infertility and it's not their fault, it's just so unfair.. I hope you are ok and that your husband has brought some comfort. Does you family know? For me, all I wanted to do was call my mum and cry so that's what I did, it really helped.. Xxx

My scan has left me in a very uncomfortable limbo. They found a heartbeat which I am absolutely gobsmacked by, but the gestational sac was full of blood (it should be clear fluid, no blood) which is a bad sign and the sonographer couldn't really see much other than the heartbeat, also the sac is under half the size it should be, and it implanted very low so really not good..

So now I have to wait another week and rescan, so continue taking all those meds....more cost, another week of 3-4 injections a day...

I know in some way it's good that they found a heartbeat but I just feel sad and uncomfortable and it because the pregnancy is so unhealthy..I feel it's inevitable I'm going to miscarry..and if by some miracle it progresses I still won't feel comfortable as I just feel there must be something wrong with the embryo for all this crap to happen. I also feel guilty as I feel it's really trying it's best to hang on against all odds which kind of makes my heart ache, but it's probably not going to make it..

Why does IVF and pregnancy have to be so hard? I'm so angry on behalf of us all, first suffering infertility then suffering failed transfers or miscarriages. It just seems so cruel and unfair..

EPU were bad today, the sonographer was lovely but the aftercare was non existent. The sonographer implied I'd see a doctor after my scan but no, the nurse just sent me on my way with the report and no follow up because "there was a heartbeat" now we just wait and see..

Oh my goodness @Herewegoagain881. My heart hurts for you. It just will not relent for you this cycle. What are you supposed to do with this information? It is honestly so out of order that they did not have a doctor EXPLAIN this to you! Can you call them? (Can I call them? And yell at them? Maybe not a good idea. But I would!!)

And the rest of you. My goodness. I am sitting at work and have to keep from crying, for all of this terrible news today. How deeply unfair, we fight so much and for so many women there is so much pain and loss and disappointment to show for it. and there is no one to blame or be angry at. I am so angry and sad for you all today. It is so good that we are resilient and really fight to have these spaces and communities to get through this impossible journey.

@AliceAbsolum I hope the bleeding isn't serious and possibly due to the scan and them poking around at your ovaries? Sending love ❤️

@Iwouldlikesomecake I'm so sorry. Please don't feel ashamed or blame yourself for not trying sooner, you have done nothing wrong. Thinking about the 'what ifs' can only bring more heartache and the outcome may have still been the same. Take time to look after yourself x

@Herewegoagain881 sorry you have to go through another week of not knowing for sure what's happening, that can't be easy. This journey is tough but you are so strong. ❤️

@LT103 thanks, so far the TWW is going well, trying to keep busy and do things as normal as possible. Are you likely to start your FET on your next cycle?

@Yoga817 I'm unsure about your grading as your clinic use a different system than mine, but I'm pretty sure a 4 is the top grade so a 4,4 is excellent quality and a 3,3 is just behind it. Also the others may catch up by day 5. I had a call day 6 to say another embryo had been frozen as it had caught up and it was graded the same as my other 2 frosties. Don't lose hope x

Finally spoke to them. They said monitor at home and come back on Thursday for the scan. So. I'll just do that then....

Thanks @SamTTC @Autumn245 I've sent the report to my clinic and asked them to explain what the results mean, hopefully they can clarify the findings a bit, although I'm guessing the end result will be the same and I'll have to still wait and see what happens next week. Really wish i didn't have my scan at epu now 🤦🏻‍♀️

@AliceAbsolum I can't believe they're making you wait until Thursday...can you get a private reassurance scan?

@Iwouldlikesomecake sorry to hear this. Are you definitely not going to try again?

You definitely can't rush things that wouldn't have gone well either.

@AliceAbsolum so sorry to hear this, doesn't seem right that you should just wait until next week. I hope everything turns out to be ok- this happened to a relative and we thought she miscarried ( non IVF) she was taken into hospital for a D & C as the clots were so bad. Luckily they scanned before hand as and they found a heartbeat ( it was twins and she lost the one at 5+6 weeks) her little rainbow baby is nearly two.

@Yoga817 try not too worry if they thought none would make it to day 5 they would have done the transfer today.

@Herewegoagain881 sorry you have so much uncertainty. I really hope all turns out to be ok.

@HJen22 hope your ok? I go through phases sometimes I try to get on with life then I get frustrated and teary. You can't just get on with life can you. I can't book trips or holidays just incase that's treatment time or I'm lucky enough to get pregnant. I'm increasingly frustrated that there is still no appointment from Gynae as I would really like to explore what's going on in there.

X

@Herewegoagain881 what a horrible experience you are going through! I can’t imagine all of the emotions you have at the moment. You have my thoughts over the coming week xx

@Iwouldlikesomecake oh no I’m so sorry to hear this! I’m sure many of us have had that sort of reaction at failed cycles, attempts and experiences. All of what you are saying has been felt by us all to one extent or another. We are here to support and listen to your pain and anger. We can’t make it better but I hope you know that you are not alone. Give yourself time and space to react however you want to 💜

@AliceAbsolum what an awful day! I have everything crossed for you during the next week and I hope you’re ok. Try to stay strong xx

@Yoga817 i hope you’re not too disheartened. As mentioned I’m sure they would’ve transferred today if they thought they wouldn’t improve. Is 4 or 1 the higher quality? My clinic uses 1 as the highest - each place is so different. Try to stay as positive as you can and think thick lining thoughts ready for Sunday. Have you got your appointment time?

@Autumn245 glad you’re keeping busy in your TWW! It definitely helps

how are the rest of you TWW-ers doing? @Suki2020 @Somatronic @SamTTC @lucymills1234 @Southernbelle2019 (I think that’s all of you but I’ve probably missed someone so apologies!)

xx

@unCliche have you had another scan? How are your follicles looking?

@Steph2345 thanks for your kind words. It really helps to hear. The grade 4's are the highest, but I think because there are so few at high grades even they could cease by day 5. Also the grade 4,4 and 3,3 are fast cleaving, so not sure if that's a good thing. The embryologist was very negative, when I was asking questions and I can't help feeling quite numb. Maybe she was just setting my expectations for Sunday. Transfer scheduled for 9.30am. Will let you know how it goes.

@Herewegoagain881 so sorry to hear about the uncertainty. It's sad they can't get you a scan sooner. Thinking of you

@AliceAbsolum Thinking if you. This journey is so tough.

@Herewegoagain881 I know how you feel. I'm 40 and keep kicking myself for not freezing eggs earlier. It's so hard isn't it.

Big hugs to everyone on this group today. Sounds like it's been a hard day.

@Yoga817 i feel like a lot of us had a lot less embryos though? It doesn’t sound like a low number to me. Are you having pgt testing? That might be more relevant than the amount, especially if you are considering banking?

@PMAmostofthetime and @HJen22 how are you both?

@Somatronic how’s your 3dp going? :)

@SamTTC yeah i wasn't sure what to expect as this is my first round and so just went on what the embryologist said. She said most of the 7 embryos are fragmenting and basically 5 won't make it, but the two top 'might'. It's hard isn't it when the so called specialists deliver the news in this way. Thank you, this helps me be more positive.

@Yoga817 do you know the podcast The Egg Whisperer by the way? It’s American but I think there are some episodes you would find useful and reassuring

@SamTTC here are the quantity and grades

1 @ grade 4,4
1 @ grade 3,3
4 @ grade 2
1 @ grade 1

@Iwouldlikesomecake im so sorry. Glad your work have given you the day off. I can totally sympathise with all the emotions you are going through. It is totally ok to feel it all. Take your time and be kind to yourself

@AliceAbsolum how annoying you have to wait until Thursday. Really hope this is just the sac passing and that the other little embryo is hanging on in there!!

@Yoga817 just remember you really only need 1 embryo to make it for transfer. Everything beyond that is a bonus!!

@Herewegoagain881 im so sorry you’re having to go through all this! You have a little fighter in there!!

@AliceAbsolum sorry you’re having such a tough time of it. Fingers crossed all will be ok for you.

@Herewegoagain881 sorry you’re having a tough time of it as well. It’s so stressful. Fingers crossed for you.

@Iwouldlikesomecake I’m so sorry. Glad work are understanding, take all the time you need.

@Steph2345 I’ve not been great today, had some pains in my right side and now I feel so bloated and uncomfortable. My stomach feels like a ballon that needs popping. I took the afternoon off as I’m so uncomfortable. Are you ok?

@Suki2020 i hate the bloating! It could well be the pessaries we have to do. Keep an eye on it though and definitely speak to your nursing team over weekend if it gets worse or the pains increase. Keep drinking lots and lots of fluids too to help flush everything through.
im doing ok thanks, the OHSS is still there which is frustrating but I have to be patient. My ovaries are still quite swollen so cause cramping and I just need to remind myself to just ignore it, but the fluid seems to be draining and I can move much more easily so there’s definitely progress

@Steph2345 glad you are feeling a bit better. What symptoms did you have with your OHSS?