IVF / FET March/April 2022 Thread 2

[AliceAbsolum]

Shiny new thread as we filled up the last one.

@Soleste I'm so sorry it didn't work out this time around.. it's so hard.. sending hugs xxx

@ginandtonicformeplease I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything is ok, I can imagine how stressful it is and I hope they manage to get you an earlier scan.. hopefully it's your uturus stretching and nothing more🤞

IVF has been so lonely for me too, we kept our struggles very private, we do have a few close friends and family that know, but many people don't know we did IVF for our ds. I actually think our fertility struggles really damaged me and my friendships with many people because it took 7 years for us to have our ds, and that was 7 years of struggling/drifting from friends that were popping out babies with apparent ease..I kind of wish I was just more open about it, but at the time it was too hard

This cycle only 4 people know, one I told after I found out it failed as I just wanted to tell someone other than family. I've been really down again today, it's the first day back at work and the feeling of loss just seemed to hit me again like a tonne of bricks. Trying to work as normal and trying not to cry has been a challenge!

@Yoga817 great number of eggs collected! Fingers crossed for the call tomorrow

@SamTTC have you managed to have a relaxed afternoon? I know what you mean about the transfers! It just doesn’t get anymore glamorous does it 😂

@unCliche good luck tomorrow with the scan. And I get what you mean, I have been very much separate from everything and it certainly feels like a procedure or a process. Things have got better since seeing the positive line but I don’t think it’ll fully sink in until I see the scan and that everything is progressing the way it should.

@Soleste I think a couple of clinics do like a free consultation. I’m with the NHS for this round but after our first consultation we were asked if we were happy to carry on using the clinic and if we were happy with the info they had given etc. we are with Care Fertility (in the SW so I can’t speak for how their NW clinics are).

@TommieNC I’m no expert at all in this area but those numbers look pretty impressive to me!

@Autumn245 are you still on for a transfer tomorrow? Did you get an update today?

@Herewegoagain881 it’s going to take time and there’s no problem with letting emotions out. Have you considered using a counselling service?

@SamTTC I'm May 2nd too! We're definitely cycle twins!

I'm not going to try sugar free or anything like that. I haven't throughout the process and it didn't cause any problems. I've tried very strict diets in the past and I felt rough and deprived, so I won't be doing that again. Everything in moderation for me I think. The odd creme egg should be fine!

@Soleste I live in a healthcare desert - the nearest hospital doesn't actually have an EPU. The nearest one is in a different trust, I don't know whether they'll accept self-referrals from my trust? Im just really hoping that the clinic will tell me to go in tomorrow.

@Herewegoagain881 That sounds very similar to us: hardly anyone knows DD was conceived through IVF, and similarly I was very private about the miscarriages. How I kept sane through the years with MIL blaming me for her lack on grandchildren I do not know. I don't know if it was the IVF or just that I drifted from friends as they had children and different priorities. I know that at times I kept far too much in, but I just don't know anyone whose been through similar - or maybe I do and, like me, they just keep it in.

I really must check this thread more throughout the day, so much is happening!

@unCliche Welcome to the group! How are you finding the injections so far? I was also on Gonal-f and Cetrotide. I found the Cetrotide to be quite painful but was bearable if I iced the area first and took it slowly pushing the liquid in (a few tips I got from this group). Good luck for scan tomorrow x

@Soleste So sorry to hear it wasn't good news for you. Definitely look in to other clinics/protocols. I'm always shocked to hear how different they all are and how some clinics offer more tests. Embryo banking sounds like a good step forward x

@Ginandtonicformeplease that can't be easy, I really hope things work out for you and that an earlier scan can give you some reassurance. I agree IVF is a lonely place to be. The only person that knows we are doing IVF is my best friend, who conceived first month trying, so even though she's there for me I sometimes feel like she has no idea what I'm going through and can't help in any way.

@TommieNC those sound like great numbers! It does feel like constant waiting with this journey doesn't it.

@Yoga817 11 eggs is fantastic! I hope you are feeling OK after collection?

@SamTTC @Somatronic congrats on being PUPO! How are you both feeling now?

@Steph2345 Yes transfer tomorrow, I still can't quite believe its finally here! No update today so I'm crossing my fingers that we still have a good amount from our 5 tomorrow, would love to get a few in the freezer 🤞

@Steph2345 for some reason I shy away from counseling, I have trust issues when it comes to opening up to people and I think I do bury my head in the sand a bit. I'm able to open up and share with my husband/mum but that's it really. If our final transfer doesn't work I may take counseling up though as I may need help to process the loss.

@ginandtonicformeplease I don't know how you kept your cool with mil 🤦🏻‍♀️ thankfully mine just asked dh occasionally and didn't push..I think she knew we were struggling. A lot of my friends got pregnant straight away or with very little effort, but I do have a few that went through ivf too, it probably is a lot more common than we think..I think if I was able to keep my composure a bit more I'd be more open to sharing, but I cry so easily and hate crying in front of others (except DH/mum) so I just end up keeping it to myself..

I hope you are ok and manage to get an appointment tomorrow xxx

@unCliche i started to feel a bit more when we got to ec and then et, suddenly shit got real 🤣 Not sure how i feel right now, happy but cautious and trying to reign myself in after my only pregnancy ended in mc at 7 weeks. How are you feeling? Good luck with the scan!

@samttc how are you feeling post transfer? There is no dignity in this process!
Re diet ive just tried to be balanced. Everything in moderation.

@ginandtonicformeplease hopefully you can get a scan and some good news but its hard to not fear the worst. it could just be muscles stretching, my clinic said yesterday mild cramping isnt always something to worry about but absolutely best to check.

@Yoga817 11 eggs is amazing! How are you doing?

I hope everyone is ok...I'm sure ive missed some posts but seems a lot of activity yesterday!

Ever since starting on this journey I’ve been so aware of how many women and couples all around you must carry some kind of fertility related pain or loss, and it’s just not talked about. Of course some people prefer to keep it private but I also just think there is this antiquated stigma about miscarriage, like it’s shameful, so women feel like they have to hide it and not burden anyone else with it. And that’s just terrible!! I like that people are coming forward and sharing their stories now, both in the process like @AliceAbsolum (sooo brave!) or after the fact. It’s helping to make the rest of us feel less alone.

my progesterone pessary fell out this morning 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ First time that’s happened this cycle. I put another one in, which as far as I understand it is the smartest course of action once it’s happened. But so annoying!

Feeling fine though, always such a trip to go through the whole wait and transfer and feeling like it’s such a momentous moment, and then it’s just…nothing. You have no idea if anything is actually in there, if something is happening at all. For 5 day hatching embryos I think they say implantation happens 1-2 days after transfer so that’s reassuring in a way. If it’s implanting, it’s already doing it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Went to the loo and had a gush or bright red with a medium sized clot. I’m heading down to EPU praying when they open at 8am they will agree to investigate.
terrified that this is the end.

@SamTTC you're totally right. Its so hush hush when it absolutely shouldnt be. I was pretty open about our loss and it shocked me how many people i knew had been through the same but kept it quiet.
I have told close friends and family about ivf because i know we'll need the support but not work. From another perspective I've been trying to get a payrise for 3 years and if i tell work about ivf there's no chance they'll give me more money! Its ridiculous but true.

@TommieNC keeping everything crossed for you. Sending love.

@TommieNC thinking of you ❤️ praying for good news x

@TommieNC I really hope they'll see you and everything's ok.

@SamTTC I think we told one friend each about the IVF, neither of whom had been there before. I also realised that another friend had unsuccessfully tried several rounds, which contributed to her divorce. I also told DM (who of course told DF, but thankfully he'd never mention it to me). At one point we ran out of money and DM helped, which was a lifesaver. But with the miscarriages I just found there was so much wrapped up there that I couldn't talk about them. But @Jampot36 is right, we do need to talk about miscarriage more.

DM amusingly did get worried about us doing IVF as she thought that they'd put 8 embryos back like that woman in the US about twenty years ago 

@Herewegoagain881 I have no idea either how I've survived more than a decade of MIL - DH just tells her to mind her own business, so she waits until she's got me on my own in the hope that I'll spill something. We have a household policy of telling her absolutely nothing.

Pressed post too soon. The nurse at the clinic called this morning for an update. The doctor (there's only one) was in theatre so she's going to speak to him when he's out and then call me back. Hoping and praying that they'll have me in for a scan today.

@TommieNC sending you all the love! I hope everything is ok xx

@Autumn245 I hope your transfer goes well and you have 1 for the freezer too!

@unCliche good luck with the scan today, hope those follicles have sped up for you

@Autumn245 @Jampot36 @Steph2345 @ginandtonicformeplease thank you for the support. I’m sitting in EPU waiting to be called back for a scan.

Officially PUPO!

I have a 4AA on board and 2 in the freezer (unsure on grading, think he said Bs) 😊 we went for a McDonald's after to celebrate 😂 anyone else do the McD fries after transfer thing?

@TommieNC I am so glad you were able to get a scan and I really hope everything is okay, we are here for you when you want to share <3

@ginandtonicformeplease argh that is so frustrating, hope you can get a scan today too??

@Autumn245 that's great news, and congratulations on having two to freeze :) that's what I got too. Luckily the one I had transferred yesterday survived the thaw so I still have one more. It's very nice to know, isn't it? (I think I freaked my clinic out when I called in last time to tell them my BFN, because I didn't know at the time that I had any embryos frozen, so I was so happy when she was like “well, see you in two months for your FET” haha.)

It's suuuuuuch a mindf—to have gone for transfer and then just go about your life isn’t it? I feel so weird about not feeling anything, it’s hard to believe there even was a transfer at all!

How are you feeling today @somatronic?

(Ah the website is so annoying it's difficult to post anything today. hope they get the kinks sorted soon! at least the @ names load quicker now 😅)

@Autumn245 congratulations! And 2 frosties - fantastic. I didn't do the McDonalds thing but mainly because I was so anxious yesterday that I lost my appetite and felt a bit quesy.

@TommieNC sending you lots of love.

@ginandtonicformeplease I hope you can get seen today. Everything crossed for you. And I can relate on the MIL issue - at least your DH is fully on board re no information. Mine won't fully cooperate despite his mother making hurtful comments to me about IVF and infertility as soon as she found out what we were doing. He says she doesn't know what she's saying - she knows fine well!

@SamTTC Does your clinic make you lie down after the pessary? At least you noticed in time and could pop another one in!

@SamTTC sorry I missed your message. I feel fine today. I keep forgetting about not doing too much though. I'm working from home but it's very quiet (other than the jobs I could be doing that I don't want to do haha) so I'm trying to busy myself around the house. They told me yesterday that I have 4 frosties. I couldn't believe it. I didn't get the grades from them but they said they were good quality so I feel so much more relaxed now because we don't get any funding in Ireland and I was dreading coming up with another €7000. I may still have to do that, as my husband helpfully reminded me, but hopefully not.