IVF / FET March/April 2022 Thread 2

[AliceAbsolum]

Shiny new thread as we filled up the last one.

@Soleste haha I tend to wait until most of it’s worn off to be honest and then it take me ages to write as I’m concentrating so much. My dreams were proper all over the place last night. I don’t think what they are giving me is super strong (I’ve got no prev experience to know) as the gyny has said to treat me as if pregnant at all times.

@AliceAbsolum I’m so happy for you! Such great news it’s still a strong one. Do you have to go back to Cyprus for the early scan at 8 (?) weeks

I'm so sorry @LuckyNovember and @PMAmostofthetime such a touch rollercoaster, really hope you're both doing okay.

I caved this morning and did a test 9dp5dt, I had some very slight spotting yesterday and was concerned it was AF on the way, as seemed too late for implantation bleeding? Anyway, BFN on a clear blue early detection and now just trying to keep myself from a meltdown in case I've tested too early (OTD Monday) - I'll keep taking the meds but realistically I think I need to come to terms with it not working, just devastated. I joining this group late but checking in here each day has been a real comfort x

@Steph2345 Oh God no. 5 hour flight and then crossing the UN buffer zone would be an epic mission. I'd just not bother ha ha. Wait for the nhs 12 week one.

I'm 99.9999% sure an internal scan is fine, as literally all clinics offer them, the nhs says it's fine, the miscarriage association says their fine. But this process just makes you crazy. I'm just going to wait. Well, if we get that far. Wish we hadn't seen the heartbeat last time. Made it all real and exciting a hopeful. Not doing that again.

But I'd like to know how many are in there.
Randomly a couple leant over their seats on the flight and said "Have you guys done IVF?" We're quite used to being recognized when traveling from the vlog, which is where they knew us, but it turned out they just had treatment the same clinic!
They had gender selection and put back in 2 girls and 1 boy 😳😳 Brave

That's mad brave @AliceAbsolum 😂 even day after a BFN when I'm in the "I'll do anything" mode, not sure I'd go that far!!

Do you mind me asking what is the name of your clinic? Obviously it's working nicely for you... would you recommend donor eggs?

I'd always planned for three cycles before re-assessing, and so we have one left, but I'm in the manic post-BFN stage where I'm planning ahead like a lunatic.... if we're not 3rd time lucky, I'm tempted to ask my little sister to be an egg donor for me, she's lovely and 9 years younger than me... and it would basically feel like my own eggs anyway... but I'll also need a plan C in case that would be weird for her, and that's where I'll start to think about non-known donor eggs abroad...

@AliceAbsolum in my first pregnancy it was about 250 on beta day and in my successful one it was about 350, so under 100 is really not good even for me.. My FRER was lighter today and I've not got any nausea or exhaustion so I think I'm definitely out. I just hope it doesn't end up being a long drawn out process, or ectopic, I ended up googling a lot yesterday and that happened to quite a few people going through ivf, I'm on blood thinners 😬

This process is just so hard, if it's not ectopic I just wish I knew why it happened. I have one embryo left and that's us done with IVF, I just would feel more confident going into it if I knew what I could do differently. I'm already feeling anxious about the anxiety I'm going to feel in my final round knowing it's the last chance!

I am super grateful though that I do have a ds already and I hope I'm not being insensitive by moaning about my cycle when at least I have a child.. I just come from such a small family with no other cousins around and we're 40, I feel so guilty not being able to give him a sibling that will hopefully be there for each other in the future..

@PMAmostofthetime I’m doing ok thanks, got a clinic appointment this week and some bloods so I’ll know a bit more then! Hope you’re doing ok.

I'm so sorry @Herewegoagain881 that is such upsetting news. To see the line, and have it fade, I know must be a lot harder than not seeing a line at all. I completely understand your sadness with the small family and all, but just to say - I am an only child raised by a single parent with a small family, and I am just fine 50% of all embryos are not genetically viable, even if they look normal and can implant, they simply don't have the genetic material to form a healthy pregnancy. Which is why the doctors are so quick to say that there likely is no 'explanation'. It's just biology.

What is even more frustrating about that is of course that then the doctors don't consider possible non-luck-of-the-draw related issues that could be diagnosed and fixed before 3+ failed implantations/chemicals/early miscarriages... you have to really fight for extra tests and things like ERA and medications. Do speak to your clinic about all options as this is your last embryo!! They should understand why you want to really do everything possible to give it its best chance.

@LuckyNovember @wegotthis100 so sorry to hear about the negative tests. :(

@LuckyNovember It's Miracle IVF with Dr F in the Turkish part of Cyprus. Not to be confused with Team Miracle.
The donor route is a really complex one and a big decision. I'd say just take your time, do your research and you'll make the best decision for you. Personally for me it was a no brainer as my AMH was 1, I didn't have 15 grand to fund 2 more private cycles with my own eggs, and I wasn't morally against donor conception. But everyone is different.

@Herewegoagain881 Yes hopefully it's not horribly drawn out. My last clinic said ectopic was more likely with ivf and that's why they offer a 6 week scan.

Hi Ladies

Thank you for all your support .I'm really struggling today I woke up crying and I just can't stop.

I think I was still in denial yesterday as I had to work and now I'm off, I I just want to hide away and cry.
I'm also increasingly frustrated that I have to keep taking the pessaries for no reason- I have googled about a million times the changes of BFP after 9dp5dt BFN and well there is none.
I feel like I can't move on when this cycle isn't over. I'm a devastated hormonal mess.

Hope your all going ok, I'm still in the background keeping updated but not sure if I'll post for a while.

🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍
X

Awww @PMAmostofthetime i really feel for you! that's how I felt last cycle as well and it's horrible 😢 (BFN is another thing that gets weirdly easier the second time around, though I hope you won't have to discover that!) I don't know for you, but when I got to IVF, I really thought it was finally the answer and it would just work, I never really thought it wouldn't! For (probably - we have severe MFI) the first time ever there was an actual fertilised embryo in my womb, and the rest seemed automatic, and it was a HUGE shock when it didn't work... you'll be ok, the hormones really don't help, but you'll be ok in another couple of days.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with crying under your duvet, or taking a bottle of wine to a nice hot bath, or whatever it is you need to do to vent frustration and anger and sadness and all of it... I think we've all been there with you at some stage... it will feel better soon, especially once you're off the meds 🧡

@PMAmostofthetime I felt very similar to you in my 1st and 2nd cycles. You can only do what you can do to cope. Lots of self care, let yourself feel how you feel and talk to people. Step away from here if you need too of course xx

Hi, transfer day completed
1 good quite popped back in, feet up for the rest of the day - not the "just like a smear test" experience i was told!

Hoping the next 9 days goes quick. Suspect they wont.

@Jampot36 we are on the same timescale, I had my one put back yesterday.

I’m so tired. It’s all hit me in the last 24 hours emotionally and I’m a bit all over the place, plus I’m bone tired and freezing and wonder if this is the progesterone? I’d honestly rather inject it than do the pessaries, they are so horrible!

@PMAmostofthetime I'm so sorry, I'm so very sad for you 😞 take the time you need. It's completely normal to feel the way you feel, this is a really hard journey and doesn't always go as we had hoped. We are all here for you. You'll get through this, it may not feel like it today or the next, but you will. But allow yourself to cry and to spend as much time in bed as you need. We are all here for you x

@LuckyNovember @Herewegoagain881 @wegotthis100 I'm so sorry for your bad news. Sending all the love, I hope you are all doing as best as you can. Take the time to process and know we are all here x

@Jampot36 @Iwouldlikesomecake congratulations on your transfers. Wishing you both a speedy TWW and sending lots of baby dust! Feet up this weekend I hope x

@Nutrinerd fantastic news congratulations 🎉 how are you feeling? Super chuffed for you x

@Steph2345 how are you doing love? I hope on the mend and getting home soon? X

I hope everyone else is well @SamTTC @LT103 @Soleste @AliceAbsolum @TommieNC @ginandtonicformeplease

@LT103 we'll perhaps be on meds same time, we're due to start another cycle from start 30th -ish of May x

I've tested positive for Covid, could tell it was coming last night. Hoping having it now is a good thing and give me a little less worry next cycle.

@Iwouldlikesomecake I'm knackered! Putting it down to the emotions of this week. The nurse today said our bodies are still really busy as preparing itself for pregnancy so i guess that would make sense.
Agreed on the pessaries, mine somehow moved and i got leakage on my jeans - thankfully i had a long coat on but hope it comes out!

Sorry you got Covid @HJen22 but what a brilliant way of looking at it! That immunity boost will carry you right through your next cycle and beyond 😊

(If you're doing this with a DH, try to keep him negative... I remember on here some people's OHs had sperm trouble post-Covid, but not everyone, so please don't let that scare you if he already has it 😬)

I'm planning to be back with you in May too... see you there!

Btw, all, I've only gone and bought a crystal fertility bracelet 😂 I blame the hormones, but sure at least it can't hurt 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Jampot36 panty liners are your friend in the 2WW ... I hate the pessaries, lucky none of my nice knickers for me when I'm taking them anyway 😒

*fit me

@LuckyNovember he got it first and gave it to me sadly! The sperm thing did go through my head, fertility issues are on my side so I'm hoping it won't effect his guys too much🤞🏻

After 6 weeks of isolation before/during ivf it's just more time at home I suppose 😂 although I'd been trying to lose weight and this doesn't help!

Ah we can do it together 🥰 will you be doing EC again? And how are you? I hope looking after yourself x

That's lovely, It can't hurt at all. I've got some crystals I put under my pillow when I remembered and a bracelet and all sorts of little things that are just nice to have x

Aww @HJen22 I'm so sorry you have covid! It is a good thing that it's happening now, as compared to right before or in the middle of a cycle (I've avoided it so far and have been so paranoid about getting it at the worst time!), but it's still such a shame. I hope it'll be a mild round for you and that it won't derail your plans too much. Getting in shape, yeah... it's so hard at the moment isn't it? I feel like a lot of people are very unmotivated atm. That post covid society burnout, I think.

@Jampot36 and @Iwouldlikesomecake woo, welcome to the 2WW... I hope it goes by quickly for you both!

@PMAmostofthetime thinking of you

@SamTTC thank you! I'm ok, bit bunged up and sore head but my OH is much worse (of course haha). Yeah I've been so paranoid about getting it too, I shielded for weeks before and during our cycle. I thought it I were going to get it it's better now and hard to avoid when it's in your house!

How are you doing? When is your transfer day?

Yeah so hard, I had a few good days last week with eating but now we're stuck at home and healthy eating when feeling a bit rubbish isn't easy!

@HJen22 Not sure when transfer day will be yet! Some time next week for sure, unless something has gone wrong with the cycle. I haven't had a scan since cd3. Most likely it's fine, but I'm trying to prepare mentally for the possibility, because it's my first time on estrogen, and I have no idea how my body is actually reacting to it. If all goes well it's stopped follicle growth and prevented ovulation as it's supposed to, but if the dose isn't high enough, ovulation will already have happened/started by the time I have my scan. I'll know Monday what the timeline is.

Don't be hard on yourself when you're ill, you just need to nourish your body and get through it - diet can wait until you're feeling better! And hope your OH feels better soon too, it's such a sneaky disease isn't it.

@Iwouldlikesomecake @Jampot36 wishing you both relaxed and speedy 2wws! I quickly gave up on all dignity and style and went and bought a pile of M&S period pants to deal with the progesterone pessaries. Expensive but worth it!

@HJen22 hope you feel better soon!
I’m feeling less nauseated this afternoon, which of course made me panic and join the compulsive poas club and reassure myself that the line looks stronger! Still so so tired though, it’s ridiculous!

@SamTTC thank you, your words gave me some comfort ☺️ I recently had 2 people tell me (who didn't know our struggles) that they hated being an only child and felt it affected them a lot socially, which got me worried. If my DS ends up being an only child we'll try to compensate, although both me and my husband have busy/hectic/stressful jobs, mine ends up leaking into weekend/evening working that I am worried we will struggle to get him to playdates etc to compensate for the lack of a sibling. And he adores children, he wants to be around them, to the point he approaches random children in the park and tries to hug them! I feel we are letting him down that we can't focus more on giving him social opportunities.. But on the flip side, he will get all our attention and not need to share it with a sibling and he may not like his sibling!

Unfortunately my embryo was genetically tested as normal and it still didn't work.. Maybe it's ectopic, I wouldn't be surprised to be honest as I've already had two bad medical things happen to me where the odds of it happening were more like 1 in 4000 and 1 in 2000. The odds of ectopic are much higher. I guess we'll see what they say after this test 🙈

Hi ladies, may sound like a silly question but for my egg collection my letter from my clinic says nail varnish must be removed, does this just mean just my fingers or my toes as well?