IVF/FET October/November 21

[2021babyhope]

I think I'm a bit early on some of the other threads so starting one for October/November 😊

1st fresh cycle in august ended in CP.

Booked for follow up consultation 30th September so hopefully I'll be able to transfer late October early November 🤞🏼

5 frozen blasts. Hoping to transfer 2 this time round but I'm not sure they'll let me 😬

@2021babyhope not overly impressed with service tbh, we are at norwich and there is mega lack of concern/contact. Things is their success rates are better than most, so just have to deal with it I guess lol x

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 I'm with BH Norwich as well and 100% agree with you about the level of contact/communications leaving much to be desired (I actually put in a complaint after my last cycle) - what has your experience with them been like?

Hi everyone 👋

I'm late to this thread but need somewhere to obsess. I had a FET on Monday (snap @VenusStarr!) and I cannot stop thinking about it. Hopelessly symptom spotting and googling average implantation days etc. It's going to be a long week.

I've already started telling my partner "I can't lift that because I'm pregnant" I really don't want it taken away 🤞

@TheSnufflet @ExhaustedPigeon1988 sorry to hear you both had rubbish experiences 😔

I was supposed to be at Norwich but asked to transfer to Cambridge at the start as I wanted GA for the egg collection.

I've found communication to be okay but you definitely have to advocate for yourself. The email situation can sometimes stress me out but I usually hear back the same day.

I was surprised when I asked to transfer two embryos and they just agreed 😅 I expected to have to fight my case but 🤷🏼‍♀️

When are your transfer dates?

@2021babyhope @TheSnufflet I kept asking my partner if I was just being hormonal, and either he was too scared to say I was, or Bourn were just crappy lol. I like to have a plan, I like to know what is happening, and why. They weren't keen on answering questions, whenever I asked something I was told that wasnt their department and I would need to schedule an appointment. I think it's pretty bad that they didn't mention I was high risk of OHSS at my first 2 scans, it wasn't until my last scan they changed my trigger because of the risk. My EC was brought forward 2 days, and after egg collection I was put on rescue meds. There was no communication at all after egg collection, you would think someone would have called to check, I wasn't given updates on embryos either, other than once the morning after egg collection. Considering they know this is an emotional path for us I think the communication was shocking. After the negative test I had to email the results in, they asked if I was even a patient, which I think is disgusting. I was then told to repeat the test 3 days later, and email again, and again 4 days after that, which I did but I didn't email over to see if anyone would realise lol, NOPE, to date no contact lol. When I had to give details to start the FET cycle no one was available to speak to, when I had questions about meds again it was a full day before call back, I was due to be taking meds that day. I also think it's bad on this FET cycle I am injecting and taking tablets for 5 weeks before a scan, which means no one will call or check everything is ok during that time, it concerns me I could do 5 weeks and somethings not right- no one would even know. Maybe that's me being paranoid, sorry for the rant ladies- just realised how long the post is lol x

Congratulations on being pupo @Holskey 🙂

Hi @paintfairy I think we've been on a previous thread together. Glad all is looking good at your baseline today.

It's weird going about normal life and work and nobody has a clue that I've got a little embaby on board or that my tummy is swollen or bruised (still working from home so it's easier to hide!)

Hey guys, im joining ready to start stims hopefully this weekend.
This will be my 4th fresh cycle and my 6th transfer assuming we'll get that far. My daughter was born last year from my last go and ive been desperate to try again since we were wheeled out of theatre, so here we are again!
Here's hoping I don't lose my mind as well as my dignity this time 🙄

How does everyone find covid affecting their treatment - if at all? Is there anything I should be aware of or thinking about?

@VenusStarr yes I think I recognise your username! Wfh definitely has its perks. Fingers crossed for your wait. 🤞
@ExhaustedPigeon1988 God, that sounds shocking! I wouldn't be impressed either, that's terrible. Many of them seem somewhat frustrating (being most these places are charging a hell of a lot for a service?) but that's not good at all.
@MrsC2018 I've nothing to compare to. But really it just seems your OH can't attend with you for most stuff? Otherwise it's likely similar. My first consultation was by video though and that was a bit annoying.

@2021babyhope Maybe they raised the BMI because it's on the nhs? I think they are stricter..

They're a really good clinic so far for communication though. Nothing like Bourn Hall sounds. We did wait ages to start though, but now it's here it feels unreal.

I'm not sure why they started me on cd2 because I know cd21 is standard. I think because I was very keen to not go on The Pill.

I did walk home last night, it's a pretty safe city, but my sore throat has developed into full blown tonsillitis today. Stupid question maybe, but no one knows if this will impact my cycle? At least I had a negative PCR this Friday just gone so know it's not Covid.

@paintfairy we are private too, so was expecting a lot more care and consideration, have had many days in tears because of hormones mixed with their bad service lol x

@theotherfossilsister Bourn are defo not great, if you don't mind me asking where are you at? X

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 that really is shocking considering you're paying for that service! I've had NHS treatment that was better than that for service and that was a busy clinic! It's clearly badly organised, but like you say if the results are good at least the consultants obviously know what they're doing even if all of their support staff need changing! I'd definitely complain though, how else will they have the opportunity to change and get better.

@MrsC2018 I'm with you on that one, I have voiced my concerns at each and every problem, but I'm not prepared to put in a formal complaint while still with them for treatment. I still have 3 frozen blasts, and I have paid for 2 egg collections with all frozen transfers with them, so I'm tied in :-/ I think it was mainly nerves from the first round, if I have to go through it again I will know what to expect and won't need as much support. After I got my negative result, it took 3 weeks to speak to a consultant and the first thing he asked was do I want counciling....surely that should have been offered when I got the negative not 3 weeks later? Everything seems very slow and like the staff are not interested. That said when you are there and physically in the building they are very good, they just seem to busy to be considerate any other time :-/

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 we're with efrec, who I really like.

We had a really rubbish experience with gcrm when lockdown first lifted and we paid for some tests. So glad we waited for efrec. Although gcrm did get our neighbours a baby.

My experience with them was so painful and they misdiagnosed me and gave me a UTI.

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 I don't think covid helps. I'm doing my first round and I've not really had support (I would hope i do as I go through it mind!). My consultation was by video and I find that awkward. My contact there never gets back to you and is apparently leaving (maybe she's already gone) and I've not actually spoken to her other than trying to arrange drugs coming. No one showed me how to inject or checked i understood the doses on my letter. I do feel a bit on my own with it. Luckily the net is useful and I'm not too needy but if I did need help or support then I'm not really sure it's an ideal situation at all. 🤷‍♀️

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 I completely understand why you want to get your treatment out of the way before complaining - I would do the same. For them to have taken on too many patients to be able to offer a service is bad, but for their staff to be too busy to care is unforgivable. I'm an NHS nurse and in spite truly adverse conditions would be horrified if my patients were given the impression that I don't care!
Of course you were nervous and had questions for your first cycle and anyone with an ounce of empathy would understand that. I've emailed my patient co-ordinator multiple times and this is my 4th fresh cycle. Things happen each time that haven't before and it's useful in managing anxiety to know what's going on. Communication is key to your impression of a clinic IMO

@paintfairy I think you're being too kind there! It's basic for them to check that you understand and are confident to inject yourself. Covid is no excuse for poor nursing care or poor communication. Fair enough you can't go to the clinic as often as usual but they can still call and email and make sure you understand and are okay

@MrsC2018 thing is- maybe this is normal? I've honestly no idea. But I was assuming it was covid. And mine is a private clinic too. I did speak to someone who went pre covid and said she was shown how to do it. I got videos links etc, don't get me wrong. But it's not the same as being able to ask questions or check anything. Took me an age to work out the ovaleap pen- mostly because I wasn't confident I was doing it right. I would hope there will be more support there later when it comes to egg collection/transfer and if any issues arise! I suppose I could ask them but you shouldn't really have to ask? I would have thought it would be offered and people should be checking you are OK with it.

@paintfairy sadly I think this is just the norm with COVID now - our first consultation appointment was done over the phone which is even more awkward than video conferencing! We had to rely on the videos too and we muddled through it OK, although I agree it is very daunting on your first cycle.

@VenusStarr congrats on being PUPO! I'm guessing you'll find out whether you've been successful or not around the time I'm getting my eggs collected (w/c 1st November)? I've got everything crossed for you x

@theotherfossilsister how odd that they gave you shit for being over BMI 25 I don't think there's much appreciable difference between a normal and overweight BMI in terms of outcomes. In an ideal world, we'd all have a BMI of 21, but then overweight and obese women easily conceive all the time in the real world!

@2021babyhope that's interesting, why did you opt for GA for EC? I had the same as @ExhaustedPigeon1988 in that I had basic sedation, although it didn't feel like an out of body experience for me.. I remember on my EC day I was waiting for theatre with another woman at BH Cambridge who had her EC just before me, and when she was wheeled back to the room I was in, she said "you're not very sedated AT ALL" - scared the bejesus out of me! However, I found it to be totally fine, I was very awake and aware of what was going on, but in terms of discomfort it was probably about the same as a smear test. Having said that, the ibuprofen suppository, temazepam and fentanyl probably helped

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 - please, PLEASE complain about your treatment - I know how it can be scary especially when you're locked into rounds of treatment with them, and I was totally on the fence about it too, but then BH's own embryologist was the one to persuade me to do it; in her words, "if no-one complains, then we can't ever improve".
You can name search me to see what happened with my cycle, but my main issue was that I never got sent a copy of the consultant's notes for the first cycle, so we were under the impression that we were going to have ICSI no matter what, when in fact it was a variable recommendation (and unfortunately we ended up with no eggs fertilised under standard IVF). There were lots of other issues as well like them not telling me when I had appointments booked in, because they'd missed them off my treatment calendar. I think a lot of the problems with them is a combo of poor admin and ultimately pretty shitty IT systems; the staff themselves and the care they provide are really good when you're actually attending in-person but it's everything else that's a bit lacking, which is not what you need when you're so emotionally (and in your case, financially) invested in the process.

As for me, this is my final day on buserelin alone and I am SO DONE with this headache - can't wait to start stims tomorrow and feel a bit more normal!

@TheSnufflet ah we are about the same timing wise! I started my stims last night. I've still got the bloody headache though! In fact, its worse today! 😫
I dunno if the phone would have been better or not. My laptop is crap and it kept struggling. At one point he asked me a question and I guessed the answer as I only heard half the question. And it was the wrong answer. 🤣

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 that’s a great idea and probably the best way to stop yourself testing. I admire those who can wait out the full 2 weeks. Longest I’ve lasted is 6 days before caving. Are you getting any hot flushes or is that too early?

@theotherfossilsister I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Something like this is so intense, it's hard when drs don't seem to care!

@paintfairy I understand covid has had a big effect on so many businesses, and medical practices too, and still does. But communication and client care should be top priority, I feel very isolated when doing these treatments, and would feel much happier if I understood each step. I like to know what's what, why I'm using a certain medication, what it does and how I will feel. I don't like just trusting they know best, and using a medication I know nothing about. It makes me uneasy. The whole EC was awful, I wasn't given any idea what to expect before during or after. I was given a time on the day and my EC was then delayed by an hour, during which time I was left with an IV and without anyone checking on me or telling me it had been delayed. I had to go to reception and ask... overall horrendous experience as I was so bloody nervous too, which I had explained when arriving. I have never had sedation, IV, GA, not even a broken bone, filling or tooth out lol, so took a lot to be brave enough, especially they told me nothing :( other than lack of contact how are you getting on? Feeling ok with it all?

@MrsC2018 do you have 1 individual person you contact with queries? I would love that, would be a lot more comfortable, and over time you would build trust and they would have understanding of your journey. That's something else I don't really like, I haven't seen the same person once (except one lady who has scanned me twice lol), and you speak to someone different every time, so you just spend ages repeating yourself- so bloody frustrating!

@TheSnufflet my EC was really painful, I wasn't given anything other than 2 paracetamol before the collection. In all fairness I think I would still choose this portion again, it was awful pain, but over quickly as as soon as they had finished the pain was gone. I really feel for you hearing someone say that, would have terrified me lol. I really struggled as I was asked to go in at 9.30, but didn't get taken through til 11.30, so sat for 2 hours terrified in a cubicle on my own, luckily my other half was on the phone or I really think I would have got up and quivered out lol. I'm so sorry for how bad your experience was, it's such a tough journey you would like to think the staff would try make things easier! I have never received any notes or really any information about anything, I just get the calendar sent with meds and appointments on, anything else just seems like an inconvenience to them :( great news it's your last day, what protocol are you doing? This is my first frozen transfer, I honestly didn't realise it was so long winded! I'm on buserelin for 5 weeks! Transfer isn't until 29th November which seems forever away!

@Chrischross no symptoms yet, just a very itchy belly which feels bruised although nothing to see yet lol. I'm dreading the symptoms, I got a couple of weeks of really bad depression on meds for EC, so I'm hoping these aren't going to be the same, not sure I will handle 5-6 weeks of evening so miserable :-/ I say this now about being good for the tests this time, when it gets closer I will probably take some tests and give in, it's so hard!!! I would love to wait the 2 weeks, that said if it's going to be negative I think I would prefer to know sooner rather than later, what's the point prolonging the agony? X

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 5 weeks?! God I don't think I could do it for 5 weeks. I'm nearly 3 in and it's killing me. Headaches are awful!
Your EC sounds terrible. The first thing that springs to my mind is i would have wet myself by then. 🤣 Honestly I'm useless at holding it and I'm anxious even thinking about those scans. Usually when I arrive I'm so nervous I go to the toilet like 3 times so I've no idea how that'll go.
But to not even tell you what's happening is terrible. Even the calmest people would feel anxious to a degree, surely? See, I'm the opposite. I know to expect bad things and I think that's just as bad! I broke my wrist earlier this year. I had a nerve block for surgery which wore off before they finished and then any pain relief they shot me with just wouldn't work as I was fighting it off. I told this to the lady doing my scan the other day. She said I have to believe it works and go in calm. Otherwise you will fight it off. Yeah- great. That makes me feel so much calmer about the whole thing! 🤦‍♀️ So I really have no idea how I'll cope to be honest. But they do give concious sedation and pain relief.
I definitely think a massive part of all this is reassuring people and supporting them. It shouldn't just be about 'business' surely?

@paintfairy although it wasn't great you know there is a bigger picture and you just get on with it. Mine was over really quickly, and the embryologist was shouting out the number of eggs as we went, I managed to get 14 which was great, and kept me going throughout the EC. As for believing in the pain relief so it works that sounds like a load of crap to me, if it's going to work surely it's going to work! I was offered gas and air half way through, but by that time I was in the zone of just get this bloody done lol

@ExhaustedPigeon1988 I can assure you gas and air is also useless. 🤣 Yeah I know what you mean- a bit like being at the dentist. Just willing them to hurry up whilst you try to zone out by staring at the ceiling.

@paintfairy that is exactly it 😆