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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Anyone doing IVF at 40+ pt 2

1000 replies

lucymills1234 · 20/08/2021 09:29

Setting up a new thread as the old one was nearly at the limit.

@Anxiousbuthopeful
@Islandstars
@Woodcottage1
@Unicorn9
@SerenditySunshine

OP posts:
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5
lucymills1234 · 05/05/2022 10:20

Hi all

@Pinklady81 sorry you feel at a loss. With IVF it's very hard to deal with the fact that there are no definitive answers - you want to know that if you do X, then you'll get Y (well, I do). But none of the process is that predictable. I've tried to adjust to that uncertainty but I find it almost impossible. Hopefully your second cycle gives you the results you want.

@Hopeful199 that's good that you have more in the freezer to try. When will you have your next transfer, have you started that process now?

Sadly I got a BFN on my OTD which was last Friday. I feel I am really running out of road with my chances to have a baby. I'm single so using donor sperm and didn't have any known fertility issues when I started, but then hadn't tried to get pregnant naturally either. First round at 41, in Nov 20, and my most recent (4th) collection was in Feb this year. I just turned 43. Over that time I've had a total of 7 transfers, one of which was a brief BFP but an early loss. The rest straight BFNs. It's hard not to feel things are hopeless when I've tried so much and not got anywhere. I have two embryos remaining in the freezer, one of OK quality (collected Nov 2021 so I was 42.5) and one not great quality collected earlier this year.

At the moment, I'm thinking to go straight into another transfer, of the better of the two embryos I have. Of course you always hope each one will work but to be honest at this point my expectation is failure :( Then the decision will be do I even consider another collection, given that my egg quality is apparently awful... or do I consider donor eggs. Or neither.

My clinic seems to view my one very brief pregnancy as proof that there's no implantation issue. I did have thrombophilia and immune tests but no ERA or anything like that. They are putting all the failures down to quality which maybe is just how it is, though you would hope that out of 7 transferred embryos, one was normal..? For what it's worth (I know grading doesn't equate to genetic normality), my transfers to date have been good quality - all 3, 4 or 5 - some AAs, some ABs, lowest was a BB. Anyone got any suggestions for me?!

OP posts:
Hopeful199 · 05/05/2022 10:53

Oh @lucymills1234 im so sorry to hear of the BFN. You have been through so much. I so wish I had some answers! 💗 would you be tempted to get the embryos tested? I know it’s expensive but at least that way you only pay to transfer what you know is good and therefore have a chance with. I think after that I would be considering either DE or adoption. I know adoption isnt for everyone but for me I have always wanted a child so much that no child was not an option. I’m lucky and did fall previously so who knows what I would decide if I was in that position now. So so difficult.

yes I am back on the wheel. Just had my scan and ‘all looks good’ whatever that means so start the prog tomorrow and transfer next week.

really trying to retain hope yet be realistic….. and all the while losing hope 😕 x

Ziggazagga · 05/05/2022 14:05

@lucymills1234 I’m an oldie on here nc
im sorry you’re having such a hard time.
You’re so strong. If I were you, I would consider transferring your embryos to another clinic.
A clinic that looks at immunes like ARGC or Gorgy’s clinic. I appreciate the cost implications but there are costs associated with constant cycling, donor etc
from your history with this clinic , I would look to make a change as they have made more than one mistake and don’t seem open to anything other than the ‘old eggs’ rationale . I had that line too from some clinics
@unicorn9 might be able to offer some advice too . Wishing you so much luck

Unicorn9 · 05/05/2022 14:39

Hiya… I haven’t been on here for ages. I am 43 now and low and behold after all my losses I fell pregnant and gave birth to a son yesterday morning…

I don’t think that at 43 it’s game over personally. I do wonder if pgt testing, in some way damages the quality of a somewhat older embryo though. I had 3 embryos at day 5/6 and all turned out to be normal/euploid. Yet not a single one implanted. How is that possible when I have been pregnant 9 times naturally? (1 miscarriage, one DD, 6 miscarriages, one DS).

I don’t know what finally made a difference for us but taking things into my own hands with the last pregnancy, I got a consultant in Ireland to treatment for immune issues for natural killer cells (steroids and intralipids) in addition I also took clexane, aspirin, cyclogest, prolutex and a bunch of vitamins and never thought it would actually work and it did. I don’t believe it was my eggs. We had two miscarriages investigated and one was normal, the other was not and again for Ivf all our embryos were normal. I did have my vaginal microbiome tested too and cleared my vaginal BV up with antibiotics and I went to fertility reflexology and I started fertility hypnotherapy.

unfortunately I don’t have all the answers but not every doctor does either. We fell pregnant in august, the month after our last failed transfer and I had given up then and resigned myself that it wasn’t too be. You have a journey to go on and it’s a rubbish one but trust your gut is all I can say. You know inside what you want to do and who you are biologically. No one knows that better than you.

good luck and let me know if you have any questions. I really hope and pray for you all that your dreams are realised…

Pinklady81 · 05/05/2022 16:56

@Unicorn9 what a wonderful story to hear congratulations

One question for us all starting stims again tomorrow cycle 2 FET I have a social event this weekend and out does the timing of gonal f need to be precise every day? Many thanks and good luck to all those starting or in midst of it xx

Pinklady81 · 09/05/2022 14:21

Hello everyone been for my day 5 scan looks like my second cycle is going to be cancelled due to a large cyst .... gutted as I was feeling a lot more settled with this round has this happened to anyone else??

Lulu106 · 09/05/2022 16:46

Sending you big hugs @Pinklady81 this is so frustrating. Do you see an acupuncturist or alternative therapist of some sort? They have helped me hugely with hormonal issues. Have they suggested how they can support you with this?

Pinklady81 · 09/05/2022 16:59

@Lulu106 I've recently started seeing an acupuncturist I'm speaking to a doctor next week but the nurse said this does sometimes happen especially as I have severe endometriosis .... I'm just really gutted

LT103 · 09/05/2022 20:58

I had my first appt for FET today. Just bloods. Back again wed and fri for the same and every 48hrs until they’re happy with when ovulation will be then I’ll get my appt for transfer hopefully next week. Natural cycle so no meds other than an injection of ovitrelle on day of transfer. I feel like it’s all come around so quickly!!!! No idea how I’m going to cope with 2ww!!!

Hopeful199 · 10/05/2022 22:17

Oh @Pinklady81 Im so sorry to hear about the cyst. That is so annoying 😔 Will they review it again or is it definitely being deferred. Hope you can get going again quickly

@LT103 great that you are starting the FET process. Hope everything tracks as it should and you can transfer soon.

I am going in for an FET tomorrow. Feel so bloated tonight though……. Think it must be the drugs!? Hopefully they do the trick this time 🤞🏻🌈

Pinklady81 · 10/05/2022 22:18

Hello@Hopeful199 everything crossed for you for tomorrow . It's definitely cancelled the cyst is too big and causing some pain so stims stooped and have to wait for next cycle just praying it goes away quickly xx

Hopeful199 · 11/05/2022 14:44

Thanks @Pinklady81. I have had my transfer. Unfortunately one of the embryos didn’t make the thaw so only one left in the freezer. Praying I don’t need it!

so sorry to hear about your cycle 😞 Hopefully it will all even out in the next cycle x

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 11/05/2022 21:39

@lucymills1234 Have you changed donors at all? I'm a Solo Mum too and recently gave birth to my first/only DC conceived at age 40. Previously I had 6 failed IUI's and 3 failed IVF embryo transfers (all with one donor) - but my first time transferring with embryos made with a different donor worked. It could well be complete coincidence/luck as I did also change IVF protocol too (to a high med dose flare protocol - which also apparently improved my egg quality according to the embryologists) but since you are using a sperm donor too it could be something else to consider if you do cycle again.

99pctpractice · 15/05/2022 15:58

Hello! Sorry I've been a bit absent lately. Trying to have a bit of a break from obsessing too much!

@birdbybird yes, a natural pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage, I think because I had a hycosy in dec. I had spoken with a friend (a dr though not a fertility dr) in Jan and she had said that my not getting pregnant might be a sign that my body is just good at detecting the non-viable embryos and not implanting them. (For optimistic stories (!) she had had 2 mcs and 1 tmfr before finally getting pregnant and having a healthy baby in Feb at 43) I then had a consult with the Evewell and the consultant suggested that the hycosy can act a bit like an era and make implantation more likely. So I probably did get pregnant because of the hycosy, with an embryo that my body would usually have rejected. Clever stuff, albeit pretty heartbreaking to go through.

@lucymills1234 I'm so sorry it was not successful. Have they done any of the tests around implantation/ natural killer cells? It is possible that the embryos weren't genetically normal if you didn't get them tested? Which means the odds of the last two being normal are hopefully much higher! Not many tips, unfortunately, have you thought about changing clinic?

@Pinklady81 so sorry your cycle had to be cancelled :o( hope you're feeling a bit better and not too sore? I know they look out for it but haven't experienced it myself. I know how gutting it must be, really hope it resolves itself soon so you can start again.

@Hopeful199 good luck with the 2ww!! Sorry you lost an embryo in the thaw and hopefully the one that survived is a sticky one!!!!

I'm ditching my clinic after 3 unsuccessful rounds and having consultations with 3 new clinics (Evewell, Argc and lister). It's expensive, but I figure that it's a lot cheaper than the ivf itself (!) and I might get some tips along the way. So far I have seen Evewell and lister. I prob won't go with Evewell because they aren't open on weekends and that was the cause of my last cancelled cycle and I absolutely can't face that again. They also seemed to be keen to suggest lots of extras that I don't think are necessarily indicated (my issue is getting any viable embryos). I really liked lister. Very straightforward and he suggested starting DHEA and that they would use a different type of stims that would be a purer form than gonal f/menopur (also more expensive because of course it is). They also cater for egg donation, which the Evewell don't and feels like our next step if the next round doesn't work out. We definitely won't go with Argc because the process makes me stressed enough as it is without having daily scans and not knowing when I'll get to work/having to lie to work (I've heard some horror stories about wait times etc), but i am curious to see what they suggest.

My partner is definitely borderline about doing another round of ivf. I think he'd prefer not to waste any more money with the risk that we get the same result (no blastocysts), whereas I feel like I'd rather not look back in 5 years and wish we'd given it one more go. But he may be right that it's time to cut our losses and stop putting ourselves through the excruciating process that is ivf!!!

Pinklady81 · 21/05/2022 09:22

Hi everyone

Hope you're all well hoping to start my next cycle again of this cyst goes in next few weeks this will be my second cycle and no transfer planned until I've done all my 3 cycles of egg retrieval. I'm trying to think positive and remain hopeful but like many of us feel this journey can consume your life. I would like to go away during the summer for a break but this may mean delaying my final egg retrieval round and push us back further I've just turned 41 and being on holiday I would like to have a drink etc what are everyone's thoughts on this I think time away would be amazing but also delaying things further due to age and drinking between cycles any thoughts would be great? To those of you who are on a break or getting ready to transfer on the 2WW my thoughts are with you all xx

Hopeful199 · 21/05/2022 11:01

Hi All,

@99pctpractice I agree with you. I would much rather look back in 5 years knowing I had tried everything than leaving the what if to haunt me. I know another cycle is a lot but in the grand scheme of things it is a short amount of time really to know you have exhausted all options.

@Pinklady81 ita a tough one there too. Personally (and I think it is really personal choice) I would do all of the collections first so that that bit is out of the way and you know what you are dealing with. Frozen transfers are so much easier as a process and think it feels like a good space to give yourself a break at that point. Would that work or is there a reason you have to go in July/ August?

Not good news for me today 10dp5dt and another BFN. I will of course test again on OTD (tomorrow) but know that realistically I am out…. again 😞

This was my third transfer, 2nd FET and 4th embryo (as one didn’t make the thaw). Really thought having 4 good ones in the freezer gave me a great chance of a BFP but now hurtling towards the reality that this just may not work or I will need more stims.

All the stats look good…. Good lining, good grade, extra progesterone thrown in….. none of it makes any difference 💔 I really think it has to be down to age/ embryo quality 😞

I don’t even have tears this time. Just never thought I’d be this far in without a BFP….. was so naive! So soul destroying.

Pinklady81 · 21/05/2022 11:05

@Hopeful199 I'm so so sorry for you it really is one hell of a journey ! Thank you for the advice I have to go July august due to my job in a school so can't go really any other time but I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't seem massive but I really do need a break like us all sometimes . Fingers crossed that in the future you get some good news xx

Lulu106 · 21/05/2022 12:42

@Hopeful199 so sorry to hear this. Sending you love. I hope your clinic explore reasons why. Might they explore implantation difficulties or immune issues?
I'm currently on norethisterone and feeling slightly crazy, but mostly exhausted and down. Let's hope we see a rainbow soon 🌈

LT103 · 21/05/2022 13:27

Well I finally had my transfer this morning so I’m officially in 2ww!!
embryo defrosted fine. They used our grade a (our remaining are all grade b bar one which is a c) so just need to see how things go now!!!

99pctpractice · 21/05/2022 18:03

@Hopeful199 I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out this time. I know what you mean - I thought ivf would be the magic bullet but 3 rounds in and we have nothing to show for it. My only (very short lived) pregnancy since starting ttc this time was natural and not even ivf. However....at my last consultation they said that it is not necessarily lower odds of a successful pregnancy from the first to the fourth round. So there is still hope for us yet!!

@Pinklady81 I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but I'm having a break before my next egg retrieval. We're going on holiday at the beginning of June (just after my 41st birthday!) and I'll start the next ivf round whenever my period starts after it. After my miscarriage I rushed into my 3rd cycle without a break and when we didn't get any embryos (and the second leg of my duostim was cancelled), I just felt like I needed a time out. I didn't drink, ate super healthily etc for 4 months before my last egg retrieval and it didn't seem to have any positive impact on the outcome. my last holiday was last sept during the 2ww post first ivf cycle and to be honest I just want to enjoy myself on holiday and not feel guilty for having a few glasses of wine and g&ts in the sunshine. I think it comes down to a no regrets approach : if you're going to reproach yourself for delaying a month for your third round of ivf or you think having a few drinks will really impact the outcome, then taking a break may not be the best approach for you.

@LT103 congratulations!!! All fingers crossed this is your sticky embryo!!!

Pinklady81 · 21/05/2022 18:21

@99pctpractice I had my first retrieval March and now awaiting the second fingers crossed it's June then I was thinking august if everything goes to plan so I'd be done and dusted but the only thing is I can only go away august due to me being a teacher! I naively thought starting the whole no alcohol vitamins healthy eating I would be finished by the Summer but my body had other plans ! I've heard of women doing everything by the book and getting not the results they wanted and also women who had given up hope and then it happened I just feel we put our bodies through so much and I would love a relax somewhere . I'm hoping that your break does the same for you too xx

lucymills1234 · 26/05/2022 13:17

Hi all,

I'm sorry I didn't reply to those who posted before, I do appreciate the comments.

@Unicorn9 thanks for your thoughts and for tagging @Ziggazagga - great to hear that you had success, sounds like you really tried everything. I had a thrombophilia screen which was fine but am on 20mg Clexane anyway, and had another test that's completely gone of my head right now, which was also ok. I need to be careful about what I take as I have an underlying condition - nothing that affects IVF directly but taking meds that haven't been checked with my dr could cause other issues. Because I did have a chemical before, my clinic think this means implantation issues are far less likely to be the cause of my failures than egg quality/aneuploid embryos.

@IamnotwhouthinkIam I've used the same donor throughout, but others using him have had babies so not sure that would be the issue? If I did cycle again I would consider changing the donor though.

Where I am right now is that I have decided to go for another transfer. I have two left in the freezer so if one doesn't survive the thaw (which happened to me once before) there's a back up. One of them is ok quality (BA) and one is the lowest grade I ever had (BC) but I've been here so many times with 'top grade' embryo failing that I'm not sure how much more hopeful I'd be if they were AAs.

I should be transferring around mid-June, on a medicated FET. If this doesn't work, I'm considering whether to move to donor eggs (already use donor sperm as I'm single). In my 4 collections I have had about 50 eggs collected, and yet despite 7 embryos all of quality AB/BA or above transferred, nothing has worked yet. It seems a bit naive to think that I could go for another collection and get say another 12 eggs (if same as last time) and I'd suddenly get euploid embryos.

@Hopeful199 So sorry to hear your news, there are no words - it just totally sucks.

@LT103 hope you're surviving the TWW and @Pinklady81 that you are surviving the wait to go again.

OP posts:
LT103 · 26/05/2022 15:52

@lucymills1234 thanks. I’m getting there. Only another 5 days to go until OTD. I’m trying my hardest to be chilled but I’m not. Felt like period is coming for last 2 days even though it’s too early. However clinic did a follow up call today so I did say to them and they said not to worry can be completely normal.

hopefully this transfer will be the one but it sounds like you have your back up plan. I had looked at pgt testing embryos just because I’m older and there would be more chance of problems but it would have doubled the price of our ivf! Especially as we got 7 embryos and it is charged per embryo!

Hopeful199 · 26/05/2022 16:20

oh @lucymills1234 I am so sorry you are having such a tough time - it really is so shitty! That is a lot of transfers to put yourself through, but i totally get it. I am not sure I will ever be able to stop.... my husband will certainly check out of the process way before me!

I am feeling sorry for myself this week tbh. I really thought out of the 5 I had that I had a really good chance on one being golden. But now I am 3 failed transfers down and one lost in the thaw process and so pinning my hopes on the lowest quality embryo. I'm surrounded by well meaning people who tell me to relax and be hopeful but it makes me just want to SCREAM!!!

I have changed consultant this time as was finding contact and follow up so hard to achieve. Hoping that this time someone will really take a look at my case history and notes and try something different.

If i knew it would work in the end I could cope with all this but today it just feels too much :(

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 26/05/2022 16:22

@lucymills1234 My first donor for all my IUI's and first 3 IVF transfers was a "proven" donor too (ie. had children, although I'm not sure whether by his donated sperm or "natural") and I was also told by my clinic that his sperm looked great under the microscope but no luck for me. I assumed it was a problem with my eggs due to age (and to be fair it could still have been!), but anecdotally I had heard on this message board about others having success by changing donor too - so I personally wonder if science still doesn't know enough about compatibility.

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