Anyone doing IVF at 40+ pt 2

[lucymills1234]

Setting up a new thread as the old one was nearly at the limit.

@Anxiousbuthopeful
@Islandstars
@Woodcottage1
@Unicorn9
@SerenditySunshine

Thanks @lucymills1234 There doesn’t seem to be as many over 40s on here compared to when I started nearly a year ago. I hope some have had success and left for that reason

Hope AF is holding off for you.

Yes @IslandStars - I've only tagged people who've been active on the thread in the last month or so and you're right, numbers have gone down. Hopefully some had success as you say and perhaps others made other choices.

No sign of AF, thankfully! Though I had a night of waking up at regular intervals which I also get just before AF so who knows...

@lucymills1234 I think that is promising news re waking and thinking af is coming. The last pregnancy I dreamt I started my period…

I have nightmares about starting my period every month! So I went for a very early scan today, 4w + 6d. Saw a gestational sac but nothing else. Apparently normal for this time? But gestational sac possibly a tiny bit small. It is never good news, right?

Sorry I meant I have nightmares about starting my period every night. And I am pregnant!

@Anxiousbuthopeful I’m sure it’s normally 5.5 - 6 weeks before anything is seen. I don’t know how often clinics do betas, but maybe try to get more booked every few days until your next scan, if it will put your mind at rest a bit more.

Wow, that's great that they can already see the sac @Anxiousbuthopeful - that's early from what I understand.

I wasn't having dreams about AF coming or even waking up thinking it was starting, I just kept waking up for no apparent reason every hour or so. That sometimes happens before I get my period, I guess it's hormone-related...

I've had nothing since Thursday though - no symptoms whatsover. No cramping, no aches of any sort really. I don't usually get breast tenderness or swelling before AF or on pessaries and I did get that on my chemical round, which is one of the reasons it felt different - but nothing like that this time. Not even as tired as you'd think I would be given a few nights of broken sleep.

I feel like I'm waiting to test on OTD tomorrow only to confirm the inevitable. It makes me wonder if I should just test today and give myself an extra day to process before work on Monday, but obviously it won't be FMU at this point. Though I know at 10dp5dt you should have enough hcG any time of day, I don't want to have any lingering 'what if it's diluted urine' thoughts.

Sorry for a pessimistic update, but feels rough to be back here again...

Dear @lucymills1234 - don’t worry about symptoms or lack thereof! It really doesn’t mean anything and you can’t tell by how you feel. Until we test we just don’t know, and anything else is just our heads screwing with us.

I am having my own difficult day because last night when I wiped there were a few flecks of something darker, and my discharge today had a brownish tinge. Clinic have upped my progesterone and doctors say nothing necessarily wrong but of course it can also be the first sign of a loss, so I am petrified.

Sorry you’re having a tough times ladies, it’s really sickening how the worry never ends. If I ever manage to get a BFP I don’t think it will be an enjoyable pregnancy in the sense that I will be terrified until the baby is safe and in my arms, as I’ll probably never get another shot again. Oh well, just have to hope I’m actually lucky enough to get there…I guess it prepares us for the lifetime of worry they say having kids brings you!

@lucymills1234 I think the frers are pretty good any time of day and should be by 10 days past. I suppose it depends on how many tests you have as to whether it was worth doing one today.

@Anxiousbuthopeful Glad your progesterone has been increased, always best to be on the safe side. I’m sure you know they do say spotting can be more common with IVF pregnancies, so i hope it’s nothing more than that for you.

@Anxiousbuthopeful I had a friend who spotted throughout pregnancy after ivf so don’t lose hope. I think sometimes the progesterone can also irritate the cervix?

@lucymills1234 good luck for your test regardless of when you take it…

Thanks @IslandStars and @Unicorn9 - time will tell. Trying not to give in to sheer panic.

@Anxiousbuthopeful i think it is hopeful that it is brown but I understand the anxiety only too well. Thinking of you and I hope its just a blip in your amazing journey to come for it to all work out…

@lucymills1234 Hoe did you get on today? Fearing it may not be good news as you haven’t posted, but just coming on to say I’m here if you want to chat. No pressure though if you can’t face it at the moment, perfectly understandable and hope you’ve had good news obviously.

Hi @IslandStars thanks for the message, that's kind of you.

As suspected, it was a BFN. Though I'd thought it would be, I still feel really defeated. That was my fourth transfer and it's been BFN, BFN, chemical and now BFN again. Embryos were 5AA, 5AA, 4AA and 4AB in the same order. I'll never know whether they were all aneuploid or if any were euploid but didn't implant.

This whole transfer has felt a bit off. From my lining being a lot thinner than usual to the bad news on transfer day. I am not a superstitious person and there was nothing significant enough to make me halt the transfer but it hasn't felt like this was the time - yet I still feel utterly devastated that it's not.

I have only one frozen left now, a 3BA. I can't get through to the clinic yet to book my follow-up but it seems I have three choices of what to do next - give up entirely (seems silly given I have one frozen), transfer the 3BA and hope it works but keep another cycle as an option, or leave the 3BA for now and go straight for another full cycle.

I'm torn. The ideal scenario is of course that you spend £2k to transfer the frozen and it works. I'm not sure whether I could go directly into another FET (so have a bleed then start ovulation tracking) or if I'd need a month off first. If the latter, I potentially lose 2 months on starting a fresh cycle and spend another £2k for another BFN. Though I do think I'd be sensible to have a few months on Co-Q10 before another collection - I've not taken it since my last fresh round. Maybe I could take it around the FET.

Because I need to pay for a donor, I'm looking at about £10,000 for a PGT round or £7k without. I am already in debt with all the treatment, so I don't have the money, it's how much more debt I get into.

My clinic is OK but I've never felt they're great in terms of guidance or monitoring. Weird analogy, but my experience of IVF so far feels a bit like going to a cosmetics counter in a department store - they might find something that's ok for you, but they aren't going to tell you about something better on another counter. What you want is impartial advice from someone that has knowledge of everything that's possible and can direct you to the best place for your particular case.

Sorry for the aimless rant. These are the times I really feel the absence of anyone to talk to about how to decide.

Hope you are looking forward to finally getting your procedure done this week!

@Anxiousbuthopeful how are things for you?

I should say I am currently 42 and 4 months. That's the other massive factor...

Hi I used to be on the old thread, try to support anywhere I can.
I’m sorry it was negative Lucy, it must be so hard to go through these repeated transfers and you have my utmost admiration doing it alone too.
Is this the right clinic for you? Would you possibly look elsewhere if you did another cycle. In my view it’s better to keep cycling and save the frosty as it’s not ageing.
I would be tempted to go somewhere like argc. I pgs tested too. They also do immunes. It’s expensive though.

@lucymills1234 - really sorry to hear that. Sending lots of love.

@lucymills1234 So sorry it didn't work out. Every BFN is devastating, but you had so much to deal with during this transfer, so it's understandable to be completely floored by it. Remember you can do counselling through your clinic. I haven't tried mine yet, but if my last embryo fails, i think i will have to. Not having a partner to make the big decisions with regarding next steps is really hard.

To be honest, i think all clinics are roughly the same unless you have the means to try argc. At our age, it is just that much harder. I had 3 rounds where my eggs and blasts were fantastic, so they would have seen my response as a success, yet only 2 embryos were euploid and they came in my second round - meaning in 2/3 rounds i had no healthy embryos, which doesn't bode well if i need more cycles as i'm not sure how much more i can afford beyond 1 more, plus would i just be fighting a lost cause?....i'm sure this is all on your mind too. Also when it comes to clinics, there is nothing they can really do about egg quality.

I've been taking COQ10 the past few weeks as a precaution if i need another round, but will stop after transfer. I'm only taking 200mg so not much, but better than nothing as i never used it at all before.

Given money is a big factor, i would transfer your last embryo and then if you can afford it, do another more round or weigh up whether embryo banking (with our without PGS) is more cost effective in the long run, although a bigger initial expense. There are Access packages even for over 40s, but you need to choose a clinic under their scheme.

I think you'll need the usual withdrawal bleed before you can start again with FET, but you can try to push the clinic on this if you prefer to get going.

I would suggest ubiquinol instead of coq10 as well. It’s a purer form x

Hi ladies,
Can I join you?
I am 41, and am 6 days into cycle 2, long protocol. My first cycle worked and I fell pregnant against all the odds (have DOR, very low AHM and high FSH, plus using OH frozen sperm as he is now infertile), but very sadly miscarried at 10.5 wks.

@lucymills1234 I am so sorry to read your post. That is just horrible, I am sorry you have gone through this for a 4th time. You have some big decisions to make. I think if it were me I would try the frozen round first, but that's just me of course. Can you ask the advice of your clinic?
I wish you every luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks all for the support.

@Queenofsupreme I keep wondering if I am at the right clinic. I did look at ARGC last year but aside from the cost, I did worry about those awful articles (and the Panorama programme) about them. I know that was a long time ago but I have to say it put me off! I should look at them again, though. I have also been in touch with a few clinics overseas, though options are limited as not all countries allow single women to do IVF. I am going to order Ubiquinol today and start taking it, so if I do decide to cycle again I've not wasted time!

@SerendipitySunshine thank you. I hope you're doing well, wherever your treatment is at currently.

@IslandStars I am absolutely having the same thoughts - what if I do another collection and get nothing... especially as I now know that cycle 1 only got me one blast. Even the 5 from cycle two may all be aneuploid. If I did round 3 and got nothing to transfer I think it wouldn't feel like a fair go, but not doing it at all means I'd never know. So many things rattling around my head!!

Unfortunately there's no counselling apt available for 4 weeks. I can't even speak to the consultant for my follow-up for three weeks. It's so frustrating - assuming I have a withdrawal bleed in the next few days, I will have ovulated by the time of my consultation so I'll have to wait another cycle for an FET whether I want to or not.

I did look at the Access packages briefly but I think it said you have to do all three collection cycles by your 43rd birthday, and I am not sure that's even feasible at this point...

When do you have your procedure?

Welcome @Goldilocks2528 and sorry, I only saw your message after I posted. Thanks for the good wishes. I will definitely ask my clinic for their advice but sadly have to wait 3 weeks for an appointment first...

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that must have been completely devastating. Have you remained with the same clinic for round 2? And do you feel ok on the meds or finding it difficult? Everything crossed for you in this cycle, keep us posted.

@lucymills1234 Everyone seems to wait so long for a review consultation these days, it's so unfair after spending thousands.

4 weeks wait for counselling is not great too in times of crisis! Do you have any counselling available through work? My company now have an Employment Assistance Programme which gives access to helplines etc.

Not sure if i mentioned, but when i had my scan recently to check the polyps were still there, they did a full baseline like the original fertility check up that i had nearly a year ago. Very surprisingly, my follicle count had not declined, so it doesn't necessarily have to drop off a cliff after 42. Of course, the hard part is finding euploid embryos, but it was good to know not much had changed in a year.

If my FET fails, i'll get some Ubiquinol too. For now, i'll up my dose of Q10 as a precaution. My surgery is tomorrow, so am hoping the polyps are removed and nothing nasty is found.

@Goldilocks2528 Welcome, so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, how awful at 10.5 weeks. You are so strong to go again, I really hope this round is a success for you. I take it you didn't have anything to freeze from cycle 1? If so, implantation and almost making it through first trimester from 1 embryo is hopefully very promising for the future.

@lucymills1234 I never watched that programme but I know argc argued back the case.
I found their close monitoring really reassuring and despite the perception that they are an ivf machine, I found everyone very caring. Costs do mount up though as you have blood tests every two days in ivf , sometimes twice a day and lots of scans. They are organised and never missed a call or follow up with me. Even today I’m not their patient anymore and asked them about the combine vaccine and they’ve phoned me a couple of times ( I’ve missed the calls)
They don’t do embryo banking though.
I also looked at argc, they do two cycles for 10-13 k Not sure if it includes pgs though

crgh.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Access-Fertility-IVF-packages-leaflet-CRGH-Jun-21.pdf

I wonder if it’s chromosome issues or immune issues causing you not to implant.
You could do pgs with immunes but I know it just gets more expensive :/