Anyone doing IVF at 40+ pt 2

[lucymills1234]

Setting up a new thread as the old one was nearly at the limit.

@Anxiousbuthopeful
@Islandstars
@Woodcottage1
@Unicorn9
@SerenditySunshine

Oh wow @SerendipitySunshine congratulations! That's amazing. Presumably what you thought was AF was just a short bleed? Have you shared the news with your clinic now and booked your scan?

@Anxiousbuthopeful sounds like you've had quite a surprise! But it's good news that they got to see all of this on your scan and can now manage you accordingly. I can't remember which thread it's on, but I am pretty sure there's someone on here who's had this same experience recently, if I see their posts anywhere I'll let you know as it might be good to have someone to compare notes with.

@IslandStars are you feeling fully recovered from your procedure?

I've found the last week a mental struggle. I'm finding it really hard to keep up any hope that this might happen for me. The weight of evidence so far seems to be stacking up against me. There have been a few BFPs on here lately, so success post-40 is possible for some people - I just desperately hope that at some point I can join you.

Dear @lucymills1234 - I totally get how you are feeling. I have no idea how this pregnancy will end but getting a BFP is apparently possible even when so unlikely. I am 43 now and had crap AMH when I tested 2 years ago, and was told over and over again that I should do donor eggs. Had two failed transfers before this one which came from a terrible cycle where I only got one egg 🥚 which turned into one blast. I really did NOT think it was going to work.

Thanks so much @lucymills1234 - yes, I'm booked in for a seven-week scan. Still terrified, but hoping I'll relax a bit. My AMH and FSH are bad even for my age, so I'm aware this is my last chance with my own eggs.

Good luck @Anxiousbuthopeful - fingers crossed for you.

@lucymills1234 Am doing ok today thanks, past few days haven’t been so great after the initial good recovery. Had quite a lot of pelvic pain and a bit of thrush, but seem to be fine now.

Sorry past week has been tough for you. I’m not in the most positive mind set either, there’s just so much pressure on last embryos and having a euploid fail really knocked me. I know ladies here have been through so much more, I just don’t have the time to keep trying, will be 43 in a few months. So no good advice from me sadly, but at least there are some success stories on here lately.

@Anxiousbuthopeful - thanks, I know I should stay hopeful. It's just so hard!

@IslandStars sorry to hear about the pelvic pain, that can't be pleasant. I think we are on the same page with the mindset issue. I am also feeling the pressure of 43 getting ever closer and knowing I am near my last chance. I can only imagine that having a euploid fail was a real blow and knocks your confidence because you've done everything you can to transfer a viable embryo.

For me the biggest knock has been having a chemical followed by a BFN on the next go, plus losing the two embryos. Up until then I thought maybe if I just kept going things would work out... Then the chemical was so horrible and I tried to console myself thinking of it as progress after the previous two BFNs, but the subsequent experience has felt like a massive step backwards again.

I am still torn about the one frozen embryo I have remaining and whether to transfer that or cycle again first. I'm taking Co-Q10 etc now figuring that either way, I am at least prepping myself. Have you thought much beyond your remaining transfer? Of course I hope that it works out for you so I don't want to be insensitive in asking the question, but do you have a plan B? Some people want to concentrate on the now and put their focus on the next thing working out and others like to have a plan B sussed in case it doesn't... I am in the latter camp but sometimes wonder if that's healthy! Would you cycle again?

@lucymills1234 I'm a planner too, which is why IVF is so hard, as it's always based on various outcomes and time delays etc!

I will do another round if necessary, as i'm not ready mentally to stop trying yet and i fortunately, i do have the money - whether it's actually a waste of money if i already had 2 euploid embryos fail would be another debate, which i am ignoring at the moment!

My main worry is knowing that i don't get euploids in every cycle, so doing one more round may not achieve anything. This is where it's hard not having a partner to discuss finances with, as the decision on whether to blow every penny will just be mine.

As an FET won't take that long, i'd be inclined to use your last embryo first and keep taking supplements as a precaution, particularly as finances are an issue. Out of your two rounds, you should really have a euploid in there and in around 60% of cases, they should work, which is much better odds than general chance of success for our age.

Hello there. I’d agree with the idea of doing your remaining FET and then having a new collection if needs be. I am still struggling to get my head round my situation. Also keep spotting which scares the hell out of me. Went to visit my parents for a few days but freaked out and already heading home.

@Anxiousbuthopeful sorry to hear things are so stressful - are your clinic giving you much advice? When is your next check/scan?

@IslandStars Yes, IVF makes a mockery of all other plans! It's good that you have funds for another cycle, though I totally understand what you mean about the pressure of making those big financial decisions alone. Whether it works or not I will be paying off IVF debt for a long time to come though I try not to think about that too much!

You got 2 euploids from 13 blasts, is that right? Would you try another few banking rounds to try and get the largest possible number of blasts to test? I completely understand the fear about getting no euploids, especially as I now know that I only got one blast from my first cycle (I froze a second, but that's the one that should not have been frozen). I was fortunate to get five on the next go (one which didn't thaw), but if I got just one blast again on a third round my chances would obviously be much less.

As for the FET, I'd hope that there was a euploid amidst my two cycles, though my fear is that it may have been one of the transfers that didn't work anyway. I am leaning towards FET first but really want the consultant's input.

For now I've turned into one of those people who read It Starts with the Egg and have stocked up on supplements. It could be for nothing but I'll have tried!

@lucymills1234 yeah I got 2 from 13, so a bit less than the stats suggested of 3 out of 13. Not sure I would bank again, as it’s so time consuming. Would take around 6 months and then I’d be waiting on PGS results before starting FET. I could stretch to 2 more rounds, but financially, it might be better to do 3 cycles of banking! So many dilemmas, but if I fail with 2 euploids I probably have to accept it’s more to do with implantation than the egg. I want to have 3 euploid transfers before giving up, but it’s a question of how long it would take me to find the 3rd one.

Ideally I didn’t want to be giving birth at 44 since it’s my first, but I’m sure I’ll change my mind on that if need be!

Hopefully you’ll know what to do once you’ve had your review. It will help to get their opinion on your last embryo.

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well?

@Anxiousbuthopeful how are things with you? Have you had any more scans or checks?

@IslandStars yes, I know what you mean about wanting to have a baby by a certain point. My last transfer was my last hope to have a baby before I turned 43 (in fact, it would have been due very near my birthday) and that felt like another layer of disappointment, as silly as that sounds.

Have you got any more clarity on your next transfer? Hopefully things are now moving forward for you.

I have spoken to one overseas clinic now although the appointment wasn't smooth as the Dr was very delayed with an emergency and I had a work meeting which meant I couldn't overrun so our time was cut very short. Their advice was to proceed with fresh collections, preferably two cycles of egg collection and then test all blasts. They seemed very nice and competent but I do wish we'd have the full allotted time, it felt really rushed. The follow-up with my current clinic is on Thursday.

Bad news from me, sadly. Had another scan and they could no longer find the two heartbeats. Am losing hope that it will happen for me but will keep trying.

Really sorry to hear that @Anxiousbuthopeful - sending lots of love.

Oh no @Anxiousbuthopeful I am so sorry to hear that, how heartbreaking. I hope you are surviving - please come and chat any time you want to share/vent x

@Anxiousbuthopeful That’s devastating, am so sorry for you. Will be thinking of you x

@lucymills1234 I’ve got a day 8 scan booked for Monday. Dr is happy for me to continue with natural FET as planned, just got to hope lining plays ball. I’ll probably need another scan after that maybe, then pencil in ET after ovulation.

Hope you’re review goes well. 2 collections then test all sounds reasonable, but I guess it all depends on finances. Maybe if the overseas clinic is that much cheaper it will be worth it, but you do have your last embryo to consider as well.

Hi @IslandStars ah, that's great that you are moving forward! I noticed that a lot of clinics do a day 8 scan for natural FET, mine never has but I am not sure why. I only had a scan on the day of LH surge so maybe that's when you'll have another one? Do they start you on progesterone at the next scan or do you already know when to start meds? Always interesting to hear how other clinics work!

I'm waiting to get a cost estimate from the one overseas clinic I've spoken to so far. Money is absolutely the issue - I know that I am at the last chance point so I would like to be able to throw everything at it, but cost is unfortunately going to be the decider/blocker.

Their advice (which I thought would be the case) is that the frozen embryo will always be there, but time is against me. My last egg collection was at the beginning of March so realistically it's going to be at least 6-7 months later that I would have the next which is an awfully long time in the fertility world at this age, as I know you fully understand!

Where are you going abroad @lucymills1234? I turned 43 this summer and trying to work out whether it is even worth doing another collection at my age…got zero blasts from my half-assed attempt in July…

@lucymills1234 My clinic were originally telling me to scan between day 8 and 10 (i was going to choose the latter as i think i'll ovulate then, to cut down the number of scans!), but when i said i've been having short cycles recently (24/25 days), they said to come in on day 8. I'll start progesterone when they decide on my 'day zero' after ovulation and when the lining is right.

They mentioned that i might be triggered with Ovitrelle, when both ovulation and lining thickness is met, but i'm not fully sure why....any of you had this as part of your protocols?

Things may not have changed too much for your fertility wise, but euploids are so hard to come by anyway. A lady on the PGS / banking thread, Jane, used to be on the Over 40s too i think, has just got 2 normals from 4 blasts at 44, so it's nice to hear that it can happen!

Sorry I haven't updated. Thank you for welcoming me on the thread.

I had EC last Friday, they got 11 eggs, 10 fertilised but only 5 fertilised normally. I had 2 blasts which had been transfered today, there is a third embryo that is still developing so they will see what happens tomorrow and if it's a blast of sufficient quality, they will freeze. Overall, I'm happy with results. Having 2 blasts to transfer was my hope after the day 3 update, if I get a third for the freezer that will be a nice suprise. We didn't PGS test. I didn't think to ask about the grading they said one was "a very good quality" and one wasn't as good. I might follow up when they let me know about the final embryo just so I know.

And now I wait.

Fingers crossed for you @Bryterlayter1

@Bryterlayter1 best wishes to you

Hi @Anxiousbuthopeful I don't know if I'll definitely go overseas at the moment, it's just an option I'm considering. I've had one call with a clinic in Spain who seemed good (though the consultation was rushed as the Dr was really late). Waiting to hear about costs. I also contacted a clinic in Greece but they have a long wait for consultation, and I am looking at Cyprus though not made contact yet. If I had a partner I'd look at the Czech Republic, but they don't treat single women.

@IslandStars No, I wasn't given Ovitrelle or any other trigger as part of any FETs, but I have heard that some clinics do this as a 'modified natural' approach. I think it's to make sure you've definitely ovulated. My clinic also starts progesterone later - 48 hours after LH surge. But if your clinic trigger, I guess there is more certainty around exactly when you ovulate (whereas LH surge just indicates it'll happen soon). I guess the only thing to be aware of is that you'll have hCG in your system so if you're the sort to test early you'd want to be sure your body is clear of it first.

Sounds amazing that someone got 2 euploid blasts from 4! I think I'd have to look at doing at least 2 banking cycles before PGS testing as I'd really be hoping to get at least 2 normals in case of implantation failure/MC. I find it hard with IVF that all your hopes of a baby get concentrated down into such a small number of actual chances - instead of having a fresh chance every month, you have only a handful of tries full stop.

@Bryterlayter1 Congrats on your 2 blasts so far, you’ve had a great result from 5 fertilising normally. Good luck for you 2ww.

@lucymills1234 Thanks for the info, I did double check with the nurse late yesterday and she said the same, trigger will be used if I haven’t ovulated. Good point about hcg being in system, hadnt thought of that! I think I’ll test on day 7 or 8, since I have frers and CB at home already and I’ll have to go for bloods on day 9.

It seems like Government might be changing the traffic light system soon for travel, so that will be good for IVF overseas.

Dear @lucymills1234 - I’ve been to Belgium and Spain. Have also spoken to serum in Greece and there is a Cypriot clinic that I am looking at. Of the two I have used I would rate the Belgian clinic and doctor above the Spanish one. If of any interest just message me.

Sounds like a good result for you @Bryterlayter1 - did they transfer x2 day 3 embryos? Fingers crossed for you.

@IslandStars how are you feeling about the FET getting ever closer? Are you excited or is it more nerves at this point? Hope you are feeling positive about Monday's scan.

I've now had my clinic follow-up. They acknowledge the mistake with freezing a non-viable embryo. The consultant said that if I am willing to have more treatment, best to leave the last embryo in the freezer and cycle again. I asked about banking and they have a three cycle package for £16k not including meds or donor, and it all has to be paid up front.

It's the up front payment bit that is really challenging. I asked could I do two cycles and PGS test at the end of the two and they said that's not their norm but it's possible - it's not loads cheaper overall than the package of 3 but the fact I could pay as I went along makes a massive difference for me. I know it sounds like false economy, but not when I am borrowing money (I could probably repay half of cycle 1 before I do cycle 2 if I pay for them separately). So it would be one cycle, freeze all then second cycle and PGS everything.

It would be £3800 per cycle for treatment, not including donor or freezing, then one £2500 PGS payment for up to 5 blasts. They also said that because of the issues I've had they'd include the blast already in the freezer in the testing for free - so I'd get 6 tested for the £2500. Any transfers of euploid blasts would be a further charge - my clinic charge £1900 per FET excluding meds. I'm really torn. There is not a huge amount of difference in cost between the overseas clinic I've spoken to and my current clinic. Of course my current clinic is less hassle in many ways. I am sure there are other overseas clinics that could be cheaper, but I'm aware that the longer I wait, the less chance I have.

This is all the logistics/cost stuff. All figure-outable. The biggest worry on my mind is would I get enough blasts from 2 rounds to give me a couple of euploids to try... Which is the million dollar question! Because I only got one blast first cycle but five on the next - that's a big variance!

Sorry this is a long ramble, this is where it's so flipping hard to make decisions solo