First cycle of IVF - buddies please!

[LS2020]

Hi everyone,

Been on the conception boards a fair bit but this is first time on the infertility section.
Bit of background - 28 and been TTC for two years for first child. Had one miscarriage about 10 months ago at 5 weeks. Had all our fertility checks and no major issues have been identified. Consultant suggested IVF for us so we are currently in that process.
Nurse consultation is 2nd July and then hoping it’s not long after then!

Looking for some buddies to keep me going through it all as hate all kinds of hospital things and to stop me over thinking about!

Thanks for taking the time to read 😊

@unCliche and @dogmam thanks for asking! I'm actually great so far! The injections don't hurt at all and nothing seem to bother me yet cause it's my husband who has the issues, our doctor is scared of over stimulating so I had to lower the dosage of the gonal-f. It does motivate me a lot, cause it means my body is responding well 🤞🏻
Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to feel at the end, but now just watching lots of Disney movies and chilling on the coach. I'm in between jobs so don't need to tell anyone🙈

@dogmam
Sorry! Did not mean to make you feel bad. Not your fault at all that things are so different depending on where you live. Some CCGs don't fund at all so that would be worse.

Great that you have 3 fresh and all the frozen and that they are already considering a freeze all to avoid OHSS. My nurse mentioned that sometimes FET is even better than a fresh cycle. Something about allowing the body to rest and recover from all the hormones.

Honestly feeling strange about the pill. I was not expecting it as I am relatively regular and it wasn't mentioned before but I get things have changed due to covid. Not sure what to expect in terms of side effects, though.

I am taking folic acid and vit D, snacking on brazil nuts and I have reduced caffeine and alcohol, but that's all.

@unCliche
Hi, I did ask the nurse if there was anything else I should do and if they advised cutting caffeine and alcohol completely. She said the process was already too stressful and as long as everything was in moderation would be fine. So i am taking that as official permission for a or two!

I considered abc and might approach them if this cycle isn't successful. How is your experience with them so far?

@LS2020
I checked with my CCG a couple of years ago and they were right. Just factoring the cost of iui plus donor sperm would be sufficient to self fund 2 ivf attempts so we decided to skip directly to private ivf, after saving a bit more, as the odds are much better.
Their reasoning is that we need to show there is a medical reason for needing ivf and they feel that's the same trying naturally for 2 years, so I do understand where they are coming from.

Hopefully 2 fresh ivf cycles will be enough as that was all we budgeted for!

I did not know that about the nail polish and blood oxygen. Good to know in advance, although nothing lasts on my nails for more than a few days, so it shouldn't be an issue!

Hi @Momo32
You are a braver woman than I am. I have only told one friend and my manager so I could get time off for appointments. That was one awkward conversation for the both of us!

Glad to hear you feel great so far! Cetrotide is the one i've been most worried about.

Hi @Hopesfor2021
How exciting, we should be on a similar timeline. Have they mentioned if you will be on a short or long protocol? Or will they tell you this week?

@Bryterlayter1 that's sweet that your dad would be really involved 💕 no grandchildren in my family yet so I'm not sure what kind of grandparents my parents would be - probably a lot more lenient than they were as parents 😂 I've told my mum and sisters and DH has told his mum too.

@Hopesfor2021 That's awesome! We'll be starting around the same time so we'll be able to go through the process together! Ouch! That cyst must have been painful for it to need serious surgery but glad you're recovered and can finally start your IVF cycle!

@Momo32 lots of people say the injections don't hurt but I guess it's just one of those things you'll have to experience yourself to believe it 😁 I've heard MFI is the "best" type of infertility to have so since you're responding well to the medication, I'm sure you'll produce lots of high quality embryos. When is your EC scheduled for?

@Novavee Woooo! That's good news about the alcohol 🍹 Plus people have gotten pregnant under worse circumstances so a glass or two probably won't hurt. So far the experience with abc has been good. The nurses have been lovely and everything has just flown by! I had my baseline scan on the 4th of this month and 5 weeks on from that, I'll be starting IVF! I'm also quite pleased that I can start with my natural cycle and don't have to do a longer protocol so it really does speed things up.

Oh no! I'm cringing at the thought of telling my boss about IVF! How did you get through that convo? All I've said is that during the week of the 12th and 19th I'll be needing some days off but can't confirm which ones yet until closer to the time and he's ok with that - didn't ask anymore questions, phew!

Glad to hear you'll also be starting at a similar time! It'll be a rollercoaster of a journey but I'm looking forward to it!

@unCliche it hasn't been booked yet, we're taking it day by day. They reduced the dosage of gonal-f cause the blood tests came out very good. So Ec will probably happen early next week. This is the bit I'm nervous about cause I'm not a big fan of hospitals.

@unCliche
It was not fun, I can tell you. Not sure who was more embarassed, me or him. My workplace has an IVF policy so I get paid time off for all appointments around my work day. My clinic will scan me every other day to start with and might increase to daily scans as needed, so I either had to disclose or use an absurd amount of annual leave.

So glad you're having a good experience with abc and that the nurses are lovely. I ended up chosing my clinic based partially on how well they made me feel and how caring and communicative everyone was. It's so important to feel supported.

I know! It's going to be a rollercoaster but I can't wait to start. Never thought i'd be so looking foreard to stabbing myself daily.

@Novavee I hadn't even thought to look at whether or not my work had an IVF policy! Turns out they do! This is really excellent news. Can I also ask, how long did it take for donor sperm to get to the clinic? Some banks say up to a month, but most seem to say 2 weeks. I don't really want to be held up due to misteps in arranging this crucial part of the process. Hope you don't mind me asking.

Hi @unCliche how exciting your cycles so soon! Also I know, feels like every person is having babies at the moment it sucks.

And hi to @Hopesfor2021 too! Good luck for your cycle, definitely hope there’s a few less bumps for you!

@Novavee I think a glass or two is fine, as you say it’s a hard enough process!!
Ah that makes sense with the 2 year criteria, hopefully you only need this time though 🤞🏻

I think my work policy is just in line with sick leave requests but it’s definitely worth checking. I think you get covered by maternity policy quicker as you get the pregnancy confirmed sooner too.

@Momo32 glad to hear the injections are going well. I keep going down Instagram pages of people’s scarred bruised tummies from IVF and it’s terrifying me for it. How are you finding hormone swings?

@Bryterlayter1 @LS2020
I had no idea it was even a thing! Found it while going through the maternity policy. Halfway through there was a clause about paid time off for ivf.

@Bryterlayter1
Regarding donor sperm, I'm still waiting for it to get to the clinic. We bought it on 27 May, the sperm bank confirmed they received the paperwork from my clinic on 15 June and said they would be liaising with them to arrange transport. The clinic will confirm when they receive it but they should only send it closer to treatment. It's all local so I'm not too worried about transport delays, which is why I didn't go with an overseas bank, but I never considered communication delays between the bank and the clinic.
This process is definitely an exercise in patience.

How are you finding the whole process of purchasing donor sperm? It is so surreal, isn't it? We started with so many ideas of what we wanted and in the end, there is such a shortage, that our requirements were basically human and cmv negative!

@LS2020 from your mouth! During the nurse appointment, when we were discussing the timeline of the treatment, she said "and by the end of August you will be officially pregnant", like there was no doubt, very positive. I loved that idea but for some reason I am convinced it won't work first time and I'll need a FET. Probably trying to manage my own expectations (whilst secretly keeping my fingers crossed for first time lucky)

@Novavee we haven't bought any yet. Although hearing your story makes me think we should! I thought maybe we should wait until the nurses appointment. I'm really not clear. The london sperm bank say 2-4 weeks but I imagine that is for the processing time? Shipping is probably pretty quick? I really dislike the whole process. I may be weird in this respect, but the more information I know about the person the harder it is for me to make a decision. There are hardly any donors anyway! We will probably just end up picking which ever donor is available on the day we need to order! I must admit I am worried we will be ready to go, and then we won't have the sperm and need to delay treatment.

@Novavee yeah ours had a section on IVF but it mostly just said that it counts like a doctors appointment and is covered by sick pay (ie fully paid but more realistically as I’m finance, I’ll just work my hours around!)

They bank and clinic must do this day in and say out so sure they know how to line everything up. That’s the mantra I’m telling myself when they still haven’t sent forms but told us they must be signed pre appointment or our appointment will be cancelled!
Yes that’s what my doctors were all like! I mean I am kinda holding on to it as this being the answer to all our problems (ie none )and therefore once the eggs in that’s what we’re not getting to and once that happens all will be smooth sailing but I’m trying to protect myself that even statistically it’s could just not work.
My OH wants to do this thing, it’s £600 and they basically take pics of the eggs every 10 minutes and apparently they can see which is the most viable easier from doing this (I guess that only works if you get more than one) but I’ve pushed him off for now as I said imagine doing that and it still doesn’t work and you’ve lost your best shot!

@Bryterlayter1 surely they just need to unfreeze so as long as they have like a weeks notice that should be doable?

Day in and day out*

@Bryterlayter1
We went with the London Sperm Bank too. One thing I wish I had known when I was panicking about the fact there were no available donors, was to contact them directly. They have donors off the website and they can make their profiles available for you to purchase online. I was happily surprised when they asked my preferences regarding eye colour, etc to narrow down the options and we got sent 3 profiles to choose from.

We weren't sure how far in advance to order but in the end we thought we'd rather have it safely at the clinic that stressing about it halfway through stims.

I get what you mean about too much information. We kept debating how much we really wanted to know and in the end we went with one with just a basic profile and the pen sketch and goodwill message for the child. When i was looking at zytex which even has photos, i was overwhelmed by the level of detail.

And yes, they say it's mostly the admin that delays things, not the transport itself, so the 2 to 4 weeks, is all admin. They said they want to check you are a patient at the clinic and if the sample you chose matches what the clinic advised, etc.

@LS2020
I am a bit of a control freak so leaving everything to other people is not in my nature but I keep reminding myself that, in this particular situation, I need to learn to trust them. They are the experts in their field and don't need me micromanaging them.

Interesting that they want you to fill the forms in advance (and frustrating they haven't sent them yet!). I was told not to sign anything in advance, as we need to do it with them witnessing the signatures.

Oh, that's the embryoscope right? My clinic doesn't advise it for everyone (not sure what the criteria is) but I confess I felt tempted when i read about it, so I get how your OH feels. It's that idea of throwing everything at this process and trying to twist the odds in our favour.

I don't want to feel i didn't give it my best shot but also don't want to go crazy with all the extras and add-ons, which may not make any difference in the end.

@Novavee know exactly where you come from.. couldn’t stop myself from giving them a chase today and there were like ‘oh we can send you the link now if you want?’ Like erm yes please?!
Funnily they have all that witness stuff on there but we’ve always presigned everything. They said if we want to make changes, they’ll do that on the call with us but it had to be submitted beforehand.

Yes the embryoscope - our clinics similar and I think it only has a Amber rating from HEFA on doing but I more just like the idea of technology and we’re quite sciencey people and they said the more people who do it, the more they can have studies on and maybe get NHS approved which is a nice thought. Yeah my friends have surprised me by being in line with my OH and think for £600 why wouldn’t I when it’s taken so long to get a baby now. We’re really lucky with the rounds we get so it’s not like we need to save the money for a while either.

@LS2020 i like the idea that you would also help increase their data on the use of the embryoscope. So are you reconsidering it?

It's seriously frustrating how relaxed they are about things. Don't they understand we are sitting on the edge of our seats waiting for things to start?!

It pays to nag them i had to stop myself from emailing the clinic the past couple of days to see if they have received the rest of the test results. Let's see if I can hold until the end of the week and just ask about it when i tell them AF has started. Only 3 more days to go.

@Novavee yeah I think we will, ive been reading up the leaflet on the Leeds website and they’ve done the biggest study on it and find the chances of a successful pregnancy go from 40 to 44% so seems worth it. Also be nice to just do this once!

Honestly I know, when I rang to ask on a timeframe for the nurses consult they were like ‘oh your notes need typing up and once’s that’s done you can book in an appointment. Do you want me to write your notes now and book you in?’ Like erm yes please! It was same when I rang today they were like oh we need to email you the link, do you want it sending now? Like yes please (again!) but they did apologise for being understaffed.

Is that your viral tests to go ahead with treatment?

@LS2020
44% is really good, it does sound like it's worth the cost and at least they can watch the embryos without disturbing them.

Well, at least they are helpful when prompted. Too bad they lack the initiative

Yes, I got most of the viral test results weeks ago but two just said pending.

I have absolutely no impulse control and just sent them an email asking for an update on that and if they have received the donor sperm . In my defense, i've been very patient. They said 10 days a month ago.

Hi just catching up..

@LS2020 the embryoscope sounds interesting, I've never heard of that. My clinic never offered any add on's so wonder if they do that, I might check with them. Also pleased your works flexible enough do that you can work around appointments then have the policy in place if you need to fall back on it. I work in the nhs and policy is '5 full days paid leave per cycle, up to 3 cycles' which is great but only 5 days per year so whoever wrote the policy assumes you do a cycle per year which is obvs not always the case!

@Novavee hopefully the pill won't give you too many side effects but can understand it will feel strange taking it.. it's the last thing you would expect to take when getting pregnant. So interesting about reading your decisions of choosing donor sperm, some people want to know as much detail as possible don't they but I think the letter would be a sticking point I would imagine.

Folic acid and Vit D are all my clinic have told me to take but it's so hard reading other ladies have taking loads of other things prior to treatment.. you just don't know what to do for the best.

@uncliche good luck telling your work about treatment. I told my manager a few weeks ago, just because I've got a hectic diary and will need last minute cover etc, and I was so nervous! Her reaction though was her excitedly clapping.. not what I was expecting but very positive. Another option could be to go direct to HR and tell them, would that work? It's so frustrating having another thing to stress about.

@momo32 I hope you're enjoying the Disney film watching! Is your partner allowed in with you for egg collection?

Just patiently waiting for AF so I can ring the clinic and hopefully get started! They did mention at my consent appointment that due to my clinic being closed recently for a few weeks for a deep clean, they're expecting June to be super busy so they can't guarantee when I ring there will be space to start treatment, so really hoping I don't have to wait until Julys AF.

@dogmam
I'm nhs too but my Trust's policy doesn't state anything about maximum number of days or cycles... how strange... my manager just said to do whatever I needed, so I'm going with it. Will just try to book things closer to start or end of shift and that's it.

When I started looking at donor sperm I thought I wanted to know everything. And then found myself looking at super extensive profiles with personality tests and scores and professions going back three generations on both sides of the family and it was just too much! So we decided to go for the basics in terms of similar skin tone, eye colour, hair to match either my side of the family or DPs. And then just a feel for the type of person that comes across in the goodwill message in the off change our future child wants to meet them one day.

@Novavee yeah we’re going to inquire at least as does say if no space then we can’t do.
No, if they said 10 days I would be ringing on day 11 🤣 have they got back to you?

@dogmam hope you get in 🤞🏻 We have to tell them we want to do at the nurses consultation so it might be worth giving a call if you want to add it on. Never know, you might get a space as they’ll want to fill it.
Do you have to take a full day or can you say it’s an 8 hour day, split that in to 4 2 hours off?

@Novavee ah that's strange, it must vary from trust to trust. I mainly work from home anyway so hopefully can time appointments on lunch breaks etc. Wow, personality tests, that's crazy that some go into so much detail. I'm on a Fertility Network Facebook group for my area and each month there's a zoom call where guest speakers from local fertility clinics join and this month was all about donor sperm, it was so interesting but they are really struggling to find people who want to donate so hopefully that will change once covid is over.

@LS2020 yeah the 5 days can be split. I think I'll take a full day for the egg collection and transfer then split the remaining 3 days up for scans.

I had a smear test today, totally unrelated to fertility, I was just due one, but now I'm worried as the nurse said it will probably cause spotting but I'm due AF anyway anywhere from the next few days onwards so I won't know what's smear spotting and what's AF.. I think I'll ring the clinic if I do start to spot and see what they say.

Hi everyone - just wanted to say hi and good luck with everything!

I'm currently on day 11 of stims...egg collection hopefully at the beginning of next week but have another scan tomorrow.

I've found doing the injections okay actually - after getting over the weirdness of stabbing yourself with a needle! They seem to hurt less now that I'm not as worried about them too.

I am feeling super tired and bloated though...not too moody, although my OH might disagree with that one!

@dogmam that sounds like a good plan, I’m hoping whenever my transfer is that I can take the day off after to keep my feet up! Told my OH that I’m going on sofa rest for two weeks 😂
I don’t tend to spot after a smear so hopefully when you do it is just AF on its way. I had to have mine updated for our fertility checks, funny how it differs! I was due it anyway a couple of months after so maybe that’s why.

Hi @PuffinPippin glad to hear you’re tolerating it all well, it’s good to hear that needles aren’t continuously an awful process! Really hope your scan today goes well and then you’re on track for your collection next week ☺️

Happy Friday, everyone.

@LS2020 they got back to me saying the lab had a backlog due to covid and the results haven't arrived yet. They are also chasing the embryology team for an update on the donor sperm and turns out they are still waiting for a letter from my GP, which I didn't know they hadn't received yet. They said they would update me today and I am now chasing my GP myself to see if they reply to the clinic.

Obviously my body, as impatient as me, decided this cycle had gone for long enough and my period arrived this morning. I've left a voicemail to the nurses telling them I'm starting microgynon tomorrow. I'm guessing my 2 weeks on the pill might be longer than initially expected...

@dogmam yeah, there is a real shortage.

I hate smear tests. Never spotted but they are never a good experience. The clinic will be able to advise you, I think.

Welcome @PuffinPippin good luck with your scan.

Thank you for your warm welcomes!

@novavee - this all must be so frustrating having to chase everyone up. I really hope that everything falls into place soon and you can start moving forward

I had my scan this morning, egg collection booked in for Monday morning. All for freezing as I'm risk of OHSS. They've told me to take the following day off work to rest too. Not used to all this resting - almost finished watching Bridgerton now!

@PuffinPippin thanks, it is very frustrating but nothing new. I've been doing it for months now. You would think I would get used to it and know better than to simply wait for something. 🙄

Oh, how exciting to have your EC booked! So is it today your last of stims and trigger tomorrow?🤞 you won't have OHSS.

Enjoy the sofa time and Bridgerton. Think that this way you'll be all caught up when the new season starts 😁

No major updates on my end. Got the go ahead to start the pill tomorrow so at least that is moving forward. They are confident the results will be in next week. We'll see...

Now onto chasing the GP a bit more...