Clomid journey thread 2!

[lastbany]

So I thought I would start a new thread as we reached 1k comments so can't post!!! @chloedancer897 @Luna1108 sorry will try tag others !
anyway my app says af in 4 days I'm so emotional today! Over thinking even thinking is it right for my and partner to go forward together! I know I could test but I'm just not mentally prepared too 😢

@J90A I'm sorry. It is just so shit.

I nearly had a breakdown yesterday after a routine call with my GP who, after talking about how we were getting on with our consultant, dropped a pretty insensitive bomb shell by saying "so I suppose you will need to decide if you want a sperm donor". 🤯 ummm no thats not part of our plan just yet thanks.

I've decided she doesn't know what she's talking about and I just need to trust the consultant. But it has been a mental battle.

Just to clarify, not against donorship at all, just wasnt expecting GP to suggest on a routine call that that's what we might need to pursue now! It really took me by surprise

@seathistle - wow, that’s indeed a more than a bit insensitive! Unfortunately, my experiences with our GP and anything infertility have been fairly disastrous… although they usually hand over fully to the consultant until they refer you back to the GP? Are you still having calls with your GP?

The NHS provision is super limited where I live, so it’s usually private after the diagnostics anyway…

@adarkhorse thank you. I had a real panic that I would have offended someone in my last post, it was really a total shock.

I had rang her about something else, but because she was the person who referred me, the conversation naturally drifted onto that.

Also, our consultant is in once a fortnight because he's semi retired. Has anyone else got this problem? It means it takes absolutely ages to get any results back. And if I have any questions it's near impossible to get them answered. Makes it all so much harder!

I'm thinking at what point do I go private tbh.

@seathistle yes that is insensitive!! I'm not keen job GP's don't know if it's because they see a lot of people but they are never empathic when it's a sensitive issue in my experience xx

@J90A yes that's it they must see so many people. I'll try and steer away from the conversation next time!

How are you feeling? Hope you feel a bit better

@seathistle I have a lot of anxiety issues and I don't find them sympathetic. That was really insensitive saying that don't take it to heart. I'm ok. And due tomorrow and I know I'm not pregnant so I'll be sad tomorrow prob lol my poor OH I've been extra moody today lol pms. Xx

@J90A I can imagine that's a bit of a battle to be heard.

We are very similar. I'm on CD31. Absolutely no idea when I ovulated (if I did). Took a clear blue this morning (ran out of FR) obvs BFN.

Just want to move onto the next one now.

Whenever AF arrives I always pour a huge glass of a really nice bottle of wine to try and feel better 🙈 and eat whatever I want, that's a given.

@J90A @seathistle sorry about the BFNs :( but there is the next cycle, stay hopeful!

I am on cd15, so got the long wait to look forward to… plus now that I have had to go private, another cycle means another £1,000. So I am praying this works very soon!

@adarkhorse thank you. I should have known better than to test on Friday the 13th!

Is that £1000 for a cycle of clomid? I'm honestly keeping everything crossed.

No, that’s for the injectables because meds are more expensive - Clomid round is £650 including meds and all scans plus consultations. Could probably get it cheaper elsewhere, but they seems very good and are very close.

@seathistle yes very close!! Few days apart. Let's hope for next month.

Just been up at my mother in laws talking about her other 2 sons and there gf pregnancy's. Then went up to visit one as they found out the sex today. All they talked about was the pregnancy I wanted to cry at one point. Af on its way defo be here tomorrow. Just thought I would have a rant on here as no one knows I'm getting fertility they don't know it actually upset me. Then I feel bad for not being happy for them! Xx

@adarkhorse that's good to know, thanks!

@J90A I'm so sorry. Are you able to distance yourself at times just to give yourself space to breathe? You've done so well to keep it together. I know what you mean. I am "happy" for people when they are expecting, but I feel bad about it too, like a sorrow for DH and I. It's exhausting.

I'm trying to make plans for the autumn and winter at the moment to give myself things to think about that aren't fertility related. Summer has been a total let down weather wise!

@seathistle I'm back home now and I felt so good get back home lol. My wee cousin is asking me to go over tomorrow as our other cousin is going for a family thing and his gf is pregnant too so im not going 🤦‍♀️ just going to chill with the OH tomorrow then prepare for the baby shower on Sunday lol. this has been the hardest week so far!I think because I've ov both month which was my issue and it's still not work but hoping it's just a timing issue and nothing more! Yes good idea! I've actually been looking forward to Xmas today randomly lol. Think I might try booking a lodge for the winter to look forward to!
How are you feeling? Xx

@J90A that does sound like a really emotionally exhausting week. Well done for giving yourself a break. Good luck with the baby shower today, take regular breaks to have some deep breaths.

A winter lodge sounds incredible! You should do it. It'll be something you can look forward to.

I've had quite an emotionally draining week too. I'm on CD33 now, a bit concerned that maybe clomid hasn't worked at all and I'm just going to have another 50 day cycle! Because of our issues I'm not holding out any hope the clomid will be successful, but a saving grace was "well at least your cycles will be shorter!" So I'm finding it stressful just waiting for AF to arrive.

We've got our next appointment with our consultant in a couple of weeks (face to face this time, thank Christ) so I'm going armed with questions!

@seathistle I'm really sorry it's not working for you have you been doing opk? Do you know if it worked the first time? They should put you up a dose and hopefully that works. 🙏. What are your issues again? Yes write down the questions and take them in as you might forget glad it's f2f so much better isn't it! Xx

@J90A I have, all BFN. But around the time I could have potentially ov I was out so couldn't do one.

I have been temping and those are through the roof for most of my cycle (as in for me personally, I'm usually quite cold - I haven't got a fever just to settle any covid alarm bells.)

For the past few days it's been 37- 37.28. So I know that ov must have been and gone, because if I have another temp spike I'll evaporate 😂

DH has 0 normal forms on his morphology. I have stupid long cycles and day 21 test showed low progesterone so couldn't confirm ov. So we have issues both sides.

After googling like a maniac nearly everyone who has the morphology issue seems to have needed ICSI and have conceived.

We've got 6 cycles of clomid before we can do ICSI. I'm torn between getting a second opinion to go straight onto it, or going through 6 more months of side effects/ hopes up/ limbo etc etc

The whole thing is a massive headache. I wish someone would just appear from the future and tell me what to do!

@seathistle my friend had icsi I'm sure and it worked. But I know what you mean hopefully the consultant will recommend what to do. If it's not working I don't think they will keep you on them for the full 6 months. That's the impression I got from my consultant. Have you been getting monitoring? Xxx

@J90A yeah I'm hoping if it's not worth it they won't make us go through 6 months. I've had 0 monitoring. I've asked if it's worth doing OPK's or temping and my question got completely ignored! So yeh no idea if it works. I feel like because of this it's a bit of a box ticking exercise

@seathistle oh really?! You should defo ask for monitoring. I do weekly urine samples and hand them in every 4 weeks after freezing and they test them. Takes a whole for results but they how should they know if it's worked or not? I've also been doing opks off my own back. If it wasn't working they said up a dose an if it doesn't work then onto the next thing which I think is injections ? Defo write your questions down and challenge them. Say it's causing you a lot of stress not knowing if it's working or knowing anyone if checking. X

How is everyone getting on? I am clomid 2nd cycle and tested BFN this morning although only day 25.I keep reading that clomid is most likely going to work in the first 3 months.

I haven't been doing OPK as doctor suggested they wouldn't be any use with clomid and pcos

Finally got my BFP on Saturday using a frer!!

Did one this morning using an Asda brand and it was positive but lighter in colour than the frer I did so I was panicking abit!!

Done another frer just now and it's the same as saturdays frer, so just wondering is this the darkest these frers get or should it be darker?

Please help! Absolutely worrying about this given the length of time we have been TTC and the previous miscarriage I have had!!

Am I worrying about nothing? Idk!

@Raindrop25 congratulations!! What DPO did you test positive and what cycle of clomid? I wouldn't know as I haven't had a positive before but I definitely wouldn't worry until you know anything for sure xx

@Raindrop25 huge congrats! I'm sorry I can't answer your questions but I'm sure all will be well.

@s154 sorry for the BFN, but early days as you say. fingers crossed for you! I've found temping has been helpful if the OPK's aren't great?

My bbt plummeted this morning and I've had spotting so AF is probably going to be with me tomorrow. On the one hand obviously disappointed, but on the other pleased my cycle is more a normal length and that temp tracking can give me some sort of clarity on what is going on.

@s154 I was 11DPO when I got the positive on a CB digital and a FRER!
4 rounds of CLOMID, I didn't think it was going to happen and still so on edge now I can't stop thinking about if something could go wrong , thought I would be so so happy but my nerves are taking over!! I think I will pay for an early scan at 6 weeks just for some form of reassurance! X