FET cycle buddies May/June

[Bluemeadowbaby]

Hi ☺️
Just starting up a little thread if anyone wants to join me on their FET journey for May/June. I've never had a FET cycle before and wondered if anyone was or is on their way with this journey to offer support and guidance x

@Verbena87 thanks lovely ☺️ I think this scan is an assessment scan and bloods for amh then it'll be med collection and then we go when they say 👀🤞🏼
I'm feeling positive for you that the clinic will be doing the best thing for you but I totally understand the unnerving feeling.
Not long now until 21st (I'm on countdown to that day as we've booked a little break away so I'll be thinking of you too!) all becoming a bit real isn't it 🥰 x

@Bluemeadowbaby thanks, I have had a pelvic ultrasound locally just to check everything is in it’s right place still (my last FET resulted in a baby the consultant told me would be low birthweight because I had awful morning sickness and lost weight in the first trimester. He was 10lb9oz of pelvic-floor-annihilating gorgeousness, and back to back, so...), and have had successful treatment with them before so I guess it’s ok.

@2mumlife that’s appalling about having to self fund so many attempts before you qualify for nhs help. It’s not like there’s an alternative when neither of you produces sperm, is it? I am disgusted (and also a bit ashamed that despite having lesbian friends who are mums, I’ve never asked/thought about this). Hope all goes well for you.

@Verbena87 ahh glad some me time helped and your feeling better 🙂 ahh so much to keep track of I got confused. How comes you don't start meds til 21st, I think your previous message said they have given you a transfer date of 21st? Do you just need to start meds once transfer is done? Sorry if I have completely missed something. I'll be doing mild IVF so it's quite a short cycle and my first time so not Uber familiar with all the different ways this works ☺️.

@2mumlife sorry this has been such a hard journey so far. All it takes it one embryo and you have 2 excellent ones. I think the NHS guidelines really don't take into consideration the toll this process can take on your mental health which is such a shame. I understand limits on funding but it can feel very unfair.

Doubt is trying to creep in a little with this process and fear if it doesn't work. Trying to not spiral about it. Doesn't help that a friend of mine told me she is pregnant first attempt. So now i can't help but think just how doubly rubbish I'll feel if this doesn't work and I will be so close to someone going through it! Feels rubbish to say but it is how I'm feeling right now. 😔

@Bluemeadowbaby aww thank you. We're FET this time so no stims, just popping back my little 4AA from the freezer, so the med change is just because of shortages. We went Access Fertility and have another fresh IVF cycle attempt left if this FET doesn't work, and they've already said they'd change me to flare protocol with delayed egg retrieval after trigger if we do another egg collection round (I was on long protocol last time). Would really rather not have to go through egg collection again though. It's crazy different stories of funding differences and eligibility criteria, horrible for everyone. Tried to look back at everyone's stories a little, was it your second round you were successful with?

@Verbena87 Ouch to your pelvis!! I always think I wouldn't mind having to self fund a couple of times, but 6 is a lot when IUI success rates really level off after 3-4 goes. But then I think it's horrible hearing opposite-sex couples trying 2,3 or more years before getting help too.

@Hoping4baby21 this is going to sound so incredibly awful of me but my SIL is pregnant and whilst I'm thrilled for her - she already has older children and this was a shock - I feel I'm saying it through gritted teeth and I really feel disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Even with having a child of my own, the pain of not being able to fall pregnant naturally still gets to me. Don't get me wrong, I am in awe of all pregnant women and just women in general I think the way our bodies work is amazing and the ivf process really has made me look at things so differently. But with my SIL expecting and us just starting FET I keep thinking in my head this won't work for us because it's her time not ours and I hate thinking that way, it's like I've already failed this cycle before it's even started.
(Back to reality!) To put a bit more of a positive spin on things...on my first cycle when it didn't work I jotted down in my little note book that that was technically our first month "trying" 😉
It's so incredibly frustrating this journey, I'm a real worrier and often think "if I did this or that maybe that'd help" but we have to learn to trust in letting be what will be and we can't change the outcome no matter what we do, the science will do it for us (I need to take my own advice sometimes lol) 😄 - feel like that's such a contradictory post 🙈 x

@Bluemeadowbaby no your right. On the one hand we are only humans and on the other we do need to put the stories we tell ourselves into perspective. Our thoughts aren't facts. So even if we think it, it doesn't mean it will happen or change the outcome etc.

Just really ready to get on with it but a little while to go.

@Hoping4baby21 no it’s my bad communication - doing FET medicated cycle so start buserelin day 21 of this cycle (21st May), then begin estrogen with my next bleed and transfer is likely to be the week of 21st June 🤞🤞🤞. I’ve done it before and am still clueless about it all and feel I’ve forgotten everything! 😂

@2mumlife fingers crossed you won’t need another egg collection - my little boy is the result of the first egg thawed for our first attempt at FET so it can and does happen! And you’re right that it’s hard for everyone (I am always slightly glad that I won’t face month after month after month of two week waits as couples trying naturally do) - still all seems unnecessarily difficult though. Wishing you all the luck.

@Bluemeadowbaby sorry about the baby bomb - totally normal and human to feel tangled up about it. Be gentle with yourself x

@Bluemeadowbaby I absolutely feel you. My (older) sister told family last week she's pregnant, and I felt a similar kind of way to what you describe at first. I actually ended up just telling her we've been trying to conceive too, and it helped, as she really understood that her being pregnant might not be the most comfortable thing for me right now. In the end I was able to say genuinely I'm happy I'll get to be an aunty. Babies are everywhere at the moment, my friend is due next month, which would have been when I would have been due if our last IUI attempt worked. So everywhere is just reminders of others doing what my body is resolutely refusing to do at the momnet. I get it, it sucks. I also get the trying to put it in persepctive - technically we've only been had 5 months of 'trying', even though in reality we started with our fertility clinic over a year ago now. As my clinics counsellor told me, fertility treatment just sucks, particularly when we have no other way of trying, so everything is slow and we have really very few chances to give this a go.

@Verbena87 Glad to know your first attempt at FET worked! I'm a bit like @Hoping4baby21 I just want to get on with it now, as it just seems like we've had a lot of waiting around between tries this time (I did my IUIs back to back end of last year)

@Verbena87 haha no worries. Ok makes sense.

@2mumlife absolutely the waiting is the hardest part especially after you have been waiting for an age before you got to this point.

Yep, definitely feeling the “just get going!” thing too - uncertainty and waiting are hard. Also slightly fretting about what I’ll do if offered my COVID vaccine in the middle of things - inclined to go for it when offered as I’m a teacher so work is high exposure to lots of humans and COVID in pregnancy is a real risk. Any thoughts?

@Verbena87 COVID really does add some complications to things. I don't think I'll be offered for quite some time, but if you feel
comfortable and you are in a higher risk job then do that if it gives you peace of mind throughout.

I'm currently overthinking what risks to take or not to take in the run up and during treatment because of course if you get COVID during they might cancel the cycle. But it's hard to know what is reasonable and what is not.

Is anyone else telling work or how do you plan to manage it with appointments and even support? My work can be quite stressful and I'm worried about how much upcoming work they are going to try and lump on me but not sure how to manage it. Especially as I don't want to tell them exactly what is happening.

@2mumlife thank you, that makes me feel less of a cow 😂 but totally relate, I'm so so SO happy and she was honestly a godsend throughout my pregnancy. We've always been very close but she really mummied me and came with me to every midwife appointment while hubby worked away and even looks after my little boy for me when I'm at work. The way she is with my boy is just so heart melting it really is. She did say to me a while ago would I tell her when my next journey is as she wants to support me. I didn't when we were having my boy and she told me off as she said she wanted to support me mentally but I'm the sort of person who doesn't like a fuss. This links onto you @Hoping4baby21 I really really really didn't want to tell work about it at all but I felt my hand was a bit forced as I'd had many days off due to endo and then surgeries. I put them in the picture after surgery I would need ivf but only my manager who I fully trusted. If anyone asked me re where I was I just said it was for endo check ups but I think people had an idea though they never pushed to find out. I would say if you feel you have one or two people you can trust in your work place and feel comfortable telling them then maybe mention it, a lot of work places do have policies in where you're allowed time off for fertility treatment and investigations. Are you full time? If so it may be a bit hard to wangle reasons what you're doing if you don't wish to say. I stimmed for 16 days and was back and forth to the clinic every other day for scans and then for transfer. My first round I took 2 weeks off after transfer the second time I just carried on as normal. It's a bit easier keeping it private this time round as I'm part time and not as many trips needed to clinic but I'm holding fire until I need to/want to tell them. Having a supportive work environment is really important, I too have a very stressful busy job but I promise that's not a factor of being too much stress/it impacting chances - physically if it's hard for you then maybe consider take some time off as you need to go easy on your body.
With regards to covid vaccine I'm holding off on it I've read a little up on it with fertility and there's a small finding it can affect the protein in your body which has a very small chance of causing fertility issues but in my own opinion it's enough but not enough to make me want to have it just yet. Maybe check with the clinic first and see what they suggest. I know a couple of pregnant ladies and their midwives have said no to the vaccine so that's added a bit to my view of it x

@Verbena87 meant to add you into the below bit about covid x

That’s interesting to know. Clinic have said it’s our decision and official guidance is it’s fine to have your vaccine. I think I’m inclined to risk it as the risks to actually having COVID in pregnancy are pretty compelling whereas I have yet to see the same level of risk for the vaccine. So tricky to navigate, isn’t it? Our local healthcare seems to be ahead (husband is 38 and had his first dose over a week ago) so slightly hoping I can get one dose a bit before transfer but probably not (I’m 34). Argh!!!

Anyway. Work I just tell everyone, on the grounds I will be a bitch for 4-6 weeks and then either super anxious or devastated, and I’d rather people know why so they can help/don’t take me personally! That said, I am lucky to work in a department where it feels like family. With different colleagues I think I’d feel very different. If there’s someone nice in HR I’d chat to them in the first instance and see what policy is for absences with appointments etc.

@Bluemeadowbaby see my issue I guess is there isn't anyone at work i trust. I was full time but end of last year took some time off due to stress (pandemic, toxic work environment, overworked etc) and when I came back I requested to go part time. There is such a lack of transparency and trust in my work place - I need out basically but trying to find the right time etc. That is why I don't want to tell them. I also don't imagine them being very supportive (not their strong suit). I will talk with my manager and let her know I am having medical treatment which will mean lots of appointments, she is fine with appointments and I plan to take at least 1 week off around EC and ET. It's mainly workload want to keep it as light as possible for all the reasons mentioned.

Although stress might not impact chance of success, I have personally found that my work has impacted my health - digestive issues (now I have stepped back these are much better), period issues - delayed ovulation etc. So it was definitely impacting me in a real ways which was quite scary at the time. Especially when it comes to my reproductive system. That is why I am so worried about it and wanting to ensure there is little to no opportunity for it to flare up again in the midst of this process. Being part time does help a lot but have some big projects coming up and want to make sure their expectations of me are realistic. I am their most reliable one so they like to dump all the hard stuff on me. My mistake for trying so hard I guess!

@Verbena87 your so lucky to have such a nice work team. I will be much more picky wherever I go next. Followed my manager to a new company as we got on so well and honestly was the worst choice. She is a completely different person here and although the pay here is great, no money is worth the stress of this place.

@Hoping4baby21 I hear you! 💕 you need to feel so comfortable in sharing your journey and if your gut is saying not to share then go with your gut. Sometimes it's like a double edged sword basically being good at your job but then dealing with all the crap that comes with it and if it's making you mentally and physically exhausted and not well then I agree you don't need that on top of the stresses you'll feel with treatment. Go at your pace, they don't need to know why you have appointments or what they're for but if they're in the know that it's medical/gynae that's enough. Don't share too much if you don't want to they can't penalise your for that and if they do screw them! I really enjoy what I do but it's so fast paced there isn't really a chance to build those relationships let alone have a chat together about these things x

@Verbena87 I've been wondering about vaccine too. According to rollout tracker I should be recieving letter for first vaccine between May and June (I'm in Scotland so things a bit different here). I don't think I want mine mid FET cycle to be honest, just not to think it had an impact on outcome. If it's a BFN I'll go get vaccine, and if BFP I'll talk to clinic and GP about it some more.

@Hoping4baby21 I'm working from home still (have been since March last year.....) and we have flexible working so it's fairly easy for me to work around appointments, and I took EC off as medical leave that day. I did tell my boss though in the end as I needed time off after failed IVF last time because I wasn't expecting period to start so soon after the transfer and kept bursting out crying if I'm honest and really wasn't fit to be handling students (I work in higher education) and I got time off as medical/compassionate type leave, and she told me to take as much time as I needed. So I've just told her this time in case I suddenly asking for time off again. It feels a bit easier to be honest not talking around the issue this time around.

@Bluemeadowbaby Aww your not a cow! And your SIL sounds lovely. I think you just need to make space for feelings - everytime someone says they're pregnant now I just take a minute to acknowledge all the feelings of sadness and frustration in as non judgemental way as I can, and once that's passed I can feel happy for them. Just be kind to yourself I say.

Hi everyone. That's my drug delivery arrived today, and feeling more positive after few days of being down. I think just seeing other ladies good EC numbers on another forum have been making me feel rubbish again about our EC numbers, so I've told myself to stop looking!

Trying to get my head back in the game now our upcoming round seems more real with meds here. I seem to have even more stuff than I did for IVF round though!!!!

I got it wrong on what my cyclogest substitution was - I'm going onto utrogestan (not Lutigest like I thought). The vaginal applicators look horrid, but there seems to be lots of anecdotes about BFPs on Utrogestan after BFN on cyclogest so I'm hoping this will be our lucky round! Anyone else got experience of using vaginal utrogestan? I'm also a little confused about our Lubion injections - I have vials, and then 2 needles in each syringe pack? I'll need to ask clinic what the low down is.

@2mumlife so glad to hear you're feeling a bit more positive today ☺️ it's very hard seeing other peoples stories on EC each journey is so unique to everyone but remember it's always quality over quantity.
I used utrogestan on both my cycles and they're honestly fine, you kinda just pop the applicator in and push the top bit and you'll hear a click and it's all done. Have you had pessaries before? They're a bit messy when the casing comes out 🙈 I used to do 3 in one go which was always a bit weird but once it's done it's a nice little step closer.
Hmm, are the needles the same size? The big one is usually for the vials and the smaller one is for injecting?
I had my bloods and scan today and feel so shi*.
This journey has so many ups and downs and it's always a clear reminder for me that I get a bit too ahead of myself sometimes 🤦🏻‍♀️ spent an hour getting bloods as my veins are shocking so I'm feeling quite sore. Great news on my ovaries there's no endometrium cysts which indicates endometriosis is well at bay! But the bad news is I have fluid in my uterus and the sonographer literally had no idea what it was and said the dr needs to have a look. My mind has got so much running through it and google is not my friend today! I'm almost certain before I went today the clinic have got me down wrong for scans and bloods as I came off the pill had withdrawal bleed which they told me to ring on so it's not actually a real period, there were follicles on my ovaries which the sonographer said she didn't expect at this stage (duh!) and the whole time no one there had a clue what I was doing there and kept going on about fresh cycles 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I feel so disheartened and a bit worried what the fluid means. Appointment was at 2 and I got home at 6 🙃 safe to say a glass of wine is in order! X

@2mumlife

Hope this helps. It helped me! X

@2mumlife that’s exciting! When do you start? Glad you’re feeling more positive.

@Bluemeadowbaby I am impressed you censored your swearing (but honestly, no need where I’m concerned) - sounds like a disheartening day and definitely time for a glass of wine. Have you sorted seeing the doctor re fluid? Sending calm your way xx

@Verbena87 😂 never told sure if I'll get chucked off here for swearing...you guys are literally my saviours I can't be doing without 😄
Thank you lovely, nope...they didn't have a scooby what I should be doing next tbh so I'm just going to ring them in the morning to get some answers. I knew this whole heading into FET felt a bit too good to be true, but I'll try to keep a little faith x

@JandL2020 Ahhh thank you! Thanks goodness the big needle is just for sucking up. It's like menapur then. I was surprised actually as my clinic is normally all about the lessons, but I've realised I have an appointment before I need to take Lubion so they might go through it all then. Good to see it's simple enough.

@Verbena87 I'm hoping for a period on 18th and I start meds from CD1 with transfer that cycle. My cycle length varies though (one of the reasons I'm not on a natural FET cycle) so it could be sooner (I hope!) or I could be waiting around longer for it to show up.

@Bluemeadowbaby Thanks for reassurance. I've done cyclogest before but I just used up bum whole time so mess. I only need to do 1 Utrogestan at a time, but 3 times a day. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it quickly! I keep trying to keep thinking qualities over quantity, but quantity is obviously helpful too! OMG what a day you've had though! I'm sorry you've been such a pin cushion today, and the fluid must be worrying, but it's great endo is at bay! When will you get the fluid situation checked again? Sounds like they all got a bit confused - it must've felt unreassuring which is not what you need. I hope everything gets sorted for you tomorrow, definitely sounds like a call to find out what is going on is in order. I'd personally be on the gin after that!