IVF January/February 2021? continued

[hopefully21]

I just set this up as we reached the limit in the other one.

What did you search on Instagram for that @Gensola ? X

I just searched 8dp5dt

I hope everyone is good, congrats to everyone who’s has good news over the last few days. I’ve been having a bit of a weird one, I got to 7dp5dt in my FET and all FRER tests were BFN. I decided to stop testing because it was upsetting me. I decided yesterday that if there is a BFN OTD then I will go for PGT-A testing and the scratch and also consider a ERA. Because I think something isn’t right for me to have never had a BFP ever.

Yesterday I started getting lower abdominal pain, as I did at the exact same time in my fresh cycle, that then progressed onto bleeding from 8dp5dt. For reassurance I asked my clinic to book in a progesterone test at 9am tomorrow that I would pay for, because I’ve been getting the rash on and off and I am worried the levels have dropped. The nurse said I could only have it at 1:15pm, but I know this would be difficult to interpret. This is the same nurse who was really difficult about the time of my transfer, she is so rude and difficult and it really upsets me to deal with her, I know thhe can arrange blood tests at any time from my experience in the past. Dealing with her awful attitude during such a difficult time is a nightmare and I don’t understand why someone would choose a career in this kind of area when they behave like her. But what can I do...I am with access fertility and stuck there and at least have a consultant who works with me on stuff. Anyway the nurse then said “I will look at whether anybody else can do it and call you back“. I then get a call from one of the consultants who works there (not my consultant who is off today), who said there is no need for this progesterone test, he said “you’re a doctor, tell me the pharmacodynamics of why the progesterone level would have dropped”. He said that it is completely normal to bleed from 8dp5dt in a fresh cycle, so my experience in the past means nothing. I asked why I’m getting pain, could it be a late implanter, he said it would have implanted by now and that implantation pain is something that happens in natural pregnancies and fresh transfer, but it never happen in FET.

So that’s where I’m at, BFN to date again and worried about how I will work with this clinic in the future to get things sorted because they are always fully booked, so what’s the point of getting an ERA only for them to schedule any future transfers for their own convenience.

Thanks @Gensola x

God I'm sorry @Gardenlady543
That sounds so stressful. And she sounds like an effing bitch.
If things don't work out - can you change clinics? I think you should tbh.
I also didn't know you didn't get implantation pain with an FET.

@foodiefil my clinic said that implantation pain can happen in FET

@Gardenlady543 I would change clinics - we are all paying wayyy too much to be treated badly. I changed clinics - was at London Women’s Clinic but they were totally crap and disorganised so I went with Oxford Fertility who are much better.

Thanks @foodiefil I’m in need of virtual hugs right now! I mean to be honest I’m not sure of a lot of the things he said, I’m sure women having FET have had implantation pain, I also think it’s abnormal to bleed from 8dp5dt.

I wish I could change clinic to be honest but I’m stuck here, all the clinics in my local area are the same company. I’m on an access fertility package, so I’ve paid upfront and moving would involve the faff of transferring embryos to another clinic who are with them (if they even allow this) as well as more travelling, all because of this unkind nurse. At least my consultant is nice. I just feel in a difficult situation, this nurse seemed to love the fact I had to cancel work after they decided on a late transfer because of the clinics scheduling. I think she thought I was at work tomorrow when she offered me the 1:15pm blood test, I have to book all my appointments either first thing or when I’m on leave because I’m a doctor and I have patients booked in 6 weeks ahead and I can’t let them down.

I just don’t get it, why do some people get off on being nasty and difficult? And what can I do, if I ask for her to have no involvement in my treatment then it will make scheduling more difficult and make the situation worse. My husband says that we will encounter these difficult people everywhere and it’s unfortunately part of life, I just feel it’s horrible to go through this emotional journey and deal with someone being nasty on top.

@Gardenlady543 I would maybe complain about her attitude then, she shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it! So sorry you’ve had this

That’s absolutely awful of them @Gardenlady543! To ask you to tell them the pharmacodynamics of why the progesterone level would have dropped is so horrible and rude, diminishing your concerns when you’re upset and in pain. Can you complain to Access Fertility that you are not getting a decent standard of service from your clinic?

My clinic were useless when I was in pain with my miscarriage (before I knew I was miscarrying) and I had a similar horrible phone call, where I was crying and breaking my heart on the phone begging for an HCG test to be told “this is a Covid hospital”, then later after I went to the EPU my clinic said I shouldn’t have gone to the EPU, I should have gone to them

Anyway, I’m still with the clinic as I’m NHS funded and they have the best success rates in the country but I’m very wary of dealing with them on the phone now.

Very sorry you’re in pain, is it worth phoning the GP?

Thanks @Gensola and @kikisparks it’s so nice to have you guys for support. And sadly these kind of experiences seem to happen all the time.

Kikisparks- after the call with this doctor I called my colleague (friend) and she said that his behaviour is awful. We see doctors in our jobs all the time and we wouldn’t dream of questioning them like this. I don’t know the pharmacodynamics of why it would drop but I also don’t know why I’m getting a rash on progesterone, and since this may be because of a rare condition called progesterone hypersensitivity, I literally have no idea how my body handles progesterone. It would have been no effort at all to let me pay for a blood test at the right time that would have reassured me. I could pay £70 and arrange it elsewhere but I mean after basically being told off I just think I’ll not bother. Maybe if I start bleeding I’ll pay privately elsewhere.

I mean to be honest complaining is a difficult one, I know it rarely results in anything in healthcare except making the person that complains life more difficult (if they have to keep dealing with the same healthcare worker) and more stressful (while the situation is investigated) and the result is that things aren’t usually upheld especially if it’s a case of someone being rude, so there’s no point anyway.

The pain isn’t that bad to be honest, I mean it did come on quite sharp but the main issue is that I’m worried it’s an indication that my lining is going to shed again. Anyway hopefully he’s wrong, that it could implant late and that they do cause symptoms and everything is suddenly successful and the next time I deal with this clinic all the upsetting people have left. We can dream right...

@Gardenlady543 just wanted to say really sorry you are going through this with you clinic. The way your doctor spoke to you and the attitude of the nurse sounds appalling. Just awful way to look after someone going through a bloody stressful time. No advice really, from what you've said it sounds like you might need to grit your teeth with this given the tie-in with Access. It's unbelievable though.

Thanks @Folklore9074 it’s been really reassuring to hear others say this experience isn’t ok. I think the more I consider this doctors behaviour, the worse this is. I am not a fertility specialist, this isn’t my area of expertise, I need to be helped not questioned on my medical knowledge in a speciality I don’t work in. Luckily whenever I have had the stressful procedures I have had nice staff members around.

Sorry to hear about this @Gardenlady543 - you really don’t need the stress of such unpleasantness. If it helps, I had a few shooting pains and cramps around the 7 day mark 🤷‍♀️. But obviously I don’t have the issue you seem to be suffering with in terms of the progesterone. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Thanks @MF1981 it would be great if this all ends up being a good thing, I think I’ll hold off on the testing for now, your idea to leave it until OTD is very sensible. Also congrats on your result, I was just catching up, you must be so thrilled

Thank you! It was a relief but I feel like we’re now focused on the next hurdle of the viability scan in 2 weeks. Also my cats have been fighting - think they’re sensibg something is different. It’s been really stressful

I cracked and tested early today and it was a clear BFN. I’m 8dp5dt so I reckon I’m out. Will test again on OTD which is Monday. Clinic have said it’s too early and to test Monday and Wednesday next week before stopping drugs but I’m not feeling very hopeful.

I hope everyone is ok this morning, I’m now 9dp5dt with the hatched embryo, the lower abdominal pain has been there for 3 days now and it’s quite intense, I think it’s period pains but the meds are holding off the bleed. My OTD is 13dp5dt and I don’t like the thought of having this pain for another 4-5 days. I did another FRER this morning (BFN obviously), I was holding off but at this point I’m far more convinced that this has been unsuccessful. I want to progress with other options moving forward like PGT-A, I was going to wait until OTD on Tuesday to ask for it, but I’m thinking of emailing the secretary to ask her to start the ball rolling with it today, I know it takes a couple of weeks at least and my specialist won’t plan any cycles until it’s back.

@Gensola hugs, I’m the same sort of timeline of you and it’s so tough.

@Gardenlady543 thank you 🙏🏻 I am now driving myself crazy wondering if I should get a FRER and test tomorrow or just leave it, the test I used was just a normal “from first day of your missed period” one. But then ive seen plenty of those in internet pics with clear lines at this stage

@Gensola I would say to hold off if you can until OTD, but at the same time I am behaving in the opposite manner, I tested daily with FRER from 4dp5dt, I only stopped yesterday and then I’ve tested again today. The most upsetting time for me was with the first few tests. After that I decided I’m unlikely to suddenly get a BFP. So I guess it depends on how you think you’d react if you got another BFN... would it upset you more, if so wait.

@Gardenlady543 @Gensola I’m so sorry

Thanks @kikisparks how are you? I think you’d mentioned that it’s your transfer day today? I’m a bit out of sync with everyone’s timelines!

@Gardenlady543 @Gensola big hugs to you both. I believe it will happen for you though. And one day all of this pain will be a distant memory ❤️❤️

@Gardenlady543 I know what you mean about timelines, everyone is at a different stage so it’s hard to remember. Yes, transfer is today! Our wee 5BB is thawing as we speak and I’m to go to the clinic for 11.30am.