August 2020 IVF - continued

[Lepatz]

Morning ladies!

We hit our 1000 limit on the original thread! That’s 1000 messages of support and advice, celebrating every happy milestone, and being there for uncertainty and bad news too. Thanks @Mseddy for setting up our little cohort :)

Will try to tag the regulars, apologies if I miss anyone. @Custardandcream @nextweek @kikisparks @StayingPositive8 @Bruce2 @CardboardCat @MrsT36 @loulamay @MsNoons17 Argh, my phone is refusing to autocomplete properly - I hope that works.

Wishing everyone heath and happiness - whatever stage of the journey you're on xx

@Lepatz Well done on your 13 eggs. I know it must seem disappointing after having so many on scan, but hopefully that means a high percentage will be mature. If it helps our frozen sperm is really poor quality and it worked! I often think about how healthy men are taking all their supplements and have to giggle that my DH was riddled with lymphoma and sick as a dog when his was frozen, so if that sperm can make a baby surely any can! I've got everything crossed that you've got lots of nice embryos fighting away this morning. I know what you mean about not wanting to join another group, I tried but this one just felt safe in comparison.

@kikisparks congratulations on your scan. So happy for you!

@loulamay hope your nausea is still subsiding. I had a peak around week 11 before it went away again around week 12.

I'm 15 weeks now, nearly 16 if I go off the dates from my 12 week scan. I'm still petrified, I'm not sure I'm ever going to feel better until I can properly feel movements. I think I've felt a few flutters here and there over the last few days. We have a scan booked next week to find out the sex

I'm devastated.

The clinic just called from 26 follicles, to 13 eggs, 5 mature, 2 fertilised, only one is decent quality, which they want to freeze at day 3 if it makes it.

Compared with August's 17> 10 > 7 --> 5 fertilised.

I don't understand, I've been doing everything right. Can't stop crying.

Oh @Lepatz I’m so sorry, this process can be so cruel and make no sense sometimes. Really hoping your good quality embryo hangs in there.

@Lepatz I'm so sorry :( this game can be so cruel! Are you going to pgs test that one or can you switch to a fresh transfer?

Oh @Lepatz I'm so sorry. I could cry with you and wish I could give you a massive hug. Please don't blame yourself. This is a fucking rough game. What can we do to help? Let us know when you hear any more. Sending love xxxx

Hi ladies, and thanks for the messages yesterday. It's been a tumultuous couple of days. Long post about to happen: trying to sort my head out.

The doc didn't shed much light, except to say she'd try slower stims, and a different trigger next time. And IMSI. She also mentioned they had to flush the follicles hard to get the eggs out - has anyone heard of this before? Tbh, I'm thoroughly disappointed in her. She wasn't very sympathetic and seemed more eager to defend than explain. Also, I asked her to do IMSI this round, and she didn't add it to the plan as she said she did. But now she's recommending it. Sigh.

In a bit of good news, my fertilised-but-fragmented egg appears to have pulled itself together to make a viable embryo - so now we have 2 at day 2 :) Not the 7 or 8 we'd hoped for, but still better than nowt. (We were originally concerned with sperm DNA fragmentation, so had expected the big drop off to happen after day 3. More sigh.)

So now we have decisions to make:
• Freeze what we have tomorrow on day 3, and do another retrieval to see if we get enough to PGT-A. (Expensive, hard on body and soul, no guarantees)
• Let them go to day 5 to test with our one remaining 6BB from last year (Expensive, likely to result in no euploids)
• Let them go to day 5 to see if they make it for a FET, along with the 6BB (Cheapest option, but with the risks that come with untested transfers)
• Sack it all off, no more ivf, no more transfers, no more broken hope. (but can I really bear to give up having a child... I don't think I can)

The thing is. I'd be able to go through all this again, and spend all the money, if a baby happens. But to end up skint and childless, with no hope of moving house having spent all the savings... is so hard.

@Lepatz that is so hard. I think if I had 3 embryos I wouldn’t bother with the testing and would just transfer- I’d probably do the current 2 you have together at day 3 (hopefully they both make it, sounds promising that the fragmented one pulled itself together!) and then see where you are from there. But that might not fit in with your plans. I haven’t heard of it being hard to flush out embryos before, I’m sorry your doctor wasn’t explaining things well.

@Lepatz any more news today? Yay for the 2nd embryo catching up! Even though I know it's not what you wanted.

Your Dr sounds... frustrating. For you to have requested IMSI and them not to have done it is surely grounds for a serious complaint.

If you have it in you, emotionally and financially, I think I might be doing another retrieval, especially since your body obviously responded to the drugs with the number of follicles you had. I think that was a hugely positive sign. But of course only you can decide.

How many embryos do you need to do PGT-A testing? I know how much we paid for it and it was eye watering, but the knowledge we gained was worth it for me. Again, it's a totally personal decision.

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Can you take a couple nog days off work next week just to avoid more stress?

Thinking of you xxx

Glad to hear a second embryo has caught up @Lepatz. I think id be thinking similar to Kiki. Have the 2 embryos put back and take the chance with no pga testing. I know that's not what you had imagined, but it might give them embryos a shot? Are you on any progesterone just incase?
It's so hard to make a decision, only you know if you've mentally got it in you for another round. You've got us here for all the support you need, please feel free to use us as a diary the next few days and just pour all your thoughts out. It might help and we will try our hardest to help x

Ahh, it means so much to have our little group that understands this fecking journey. Thanks for the messages yesterday - they did offer comfort. And actually, I've realised that writing everything out helps me untangle my brain.

I spoke to the embryologist this morning and decided to cultivate the two we have to see where we get to on day 5. If there's none at that point, then we might consider another retrieval. It'd be a big ask though - OH is pretty done with IVF, and honestly, I'm not too far behind. But my desire is more, so I guess my tolerance is too.

On the plus side - when they called this morning, both embryos are looking good - 8 cells, and 'top quality' for day 3! I know we should expect a 50% drop between days 3-5... and they might still be abnormal.... but... I'm crossing everything they both make it :)

I'd have been happy to have gone straight to a fresh transfer, but I'm not on the right meds. So it'll be a FET. (Again, slightly annoying - as it increases the cost massively. I've realised for the price of the freeze, thaw, and FET, I could have covered 50% of another retrieval!)

The thought of transferring untested isn't what we'd hoped, but if there's only 2 or 3, it makes it both pricey (It's flat fee up to 8 embryos), and risky (possibilities of false positives/potentially self-healing ones). My clinic won't transfer mosaics. Not sure if I'd want to anyway, but would prefer it to be my choice!

I think the control freak in me is bothered by the fact that things are changing so much from my well-researched, committed plan of action!! But I'm recovering my sense of perspective today, and adapting to new plans :) Feeling a smidge of hope, but also remembering the peace I'd been feeling before this happened. I'm physically starting to feel more comfortable from the retrieval too, which helps :)

I hope you are all having lovely peaceful weekends.

xxx

@Lepatz its a pain that you have to have the extra expense of a FET because of drugs, this whole bloody process is so hard to plan! I've got everything crossed for them 2 to make it to day 5 and you end up with 2 lovely embryos in the freezer.

Thanks @Mseddy !!

Guess what! They both made it! Two good quality 5 day blasts :D

We haven't tested them, but I'm just so pleased we got to this point with them.

Also, I've written to the clinic to request a change of consultant. If nothing else, it feels empowering to have taken matters in hand :)

That’s so great @Lepatz! Seems it was the right call to wait it out! I’m so pleased for you.

Hurrah!! go embies!! so happy for you @Lepatz. How are you doing today? Also a great move to change consultants. Take back control!!!

@Lepatz yay well done little embabies!! I think changing consultants is a good move if she ignored your request for imsi. What is your next move? FET?

I can hardly believe it's only been a week since my retrieval. What a whirlwind!!

I've been offered a new consultant for free (they usually charge) and am going with the clinic's medical director. So have until April 6 to wait for that.

I suspect we'll just transfer the 3 we have (not altogether). In some way I'm really tempted to do another retrieval. I responded well last time, and the fact that the 1.5 that fertilised made it to day 5, gives me confidence we'd probably get at least one normal. In other ways, I grieved so hard last week, it feels like I'm reaching the end of the road in a way that I'm now ok with. I know that three embryos isn't out though :) It's hard. I'm going to see a counsellor too.

Thanks again for being here throughout!! How's everyone doing? Any emerging bumps yet?? :D

@Lepatz - director? Now we're talking. Is it just me or do you think they know that your other consultant let you over-stim?!

You sound so much better which is awesome. What a week for you. Mind you what a year it's been generally!!

When do you need to decide if you do another retrieval? And is the PGT testing off the table with the three embryos you have? I'm wondering if you can negotiate a discount 😂😂

No bump here but I'm only 11 weeks. Although I can definitely feel the area below my belly button is harder to the touch? Don't know how to describe it. As if there was muscle there (which there may be for people who work out, but that has definitely not been me of late 😬)

How is everyone getting on? Have you recovered from egg collection @Lepatz

We had a scan at the weekend and found out baby is a little girl. Still doesn't feel real!

@Lepatz hope the consultation with the new consultant goes well and you have your next steps sorted soon

@Mseddy aw how lovely! So exciting!

I had my booking appointment today, largely unremarkable except I am marked “red pathway” because it’s an IVF pregnancy, which means I would be consultant led, although the midwife thinks that will be downgraded when I speak to the consultant at 16 weeks as I don’t have any other risk factors except 2 prior miscarriages. I really want my 12 week scan (which is actually at 13 weeks) to hurry up and be here though!

@kikisparks mine was at 13 weeks and I hated waking that extra week. But then we got the most amazingly clear scan pictures and I feel like that extra week made all the difference! I'm consultant led too. But my bmi is on the higher side, my mum has high BP and my dad is type 2 diabetic. So I think I'll be consultant led throughout. I've got my 16 week midwife appt tomorrow and then consultant call next week.

@Mseddy aw thanks for sharing that it makes me feel a bit better about waiting! Hope the 16 week appointment went well!

Hey ladies :) I've been on a bit of an internet break whilst we work out next steps. Hasn't it been so nice to have the sun out? (Swiftly followed by snow in some places - heh, typical UK spring).

@Mseddy Yay, a little girl - how truly exciting :D

@kikisparks I guess if red path means more monitoring it can only be a good thing :D When is your 12(3) week scan??

@loulamay you must be due your 12ish week scan about now too?! Your faux workout muscle made me smile haha. I've totally let my health go since the ER - no running, and plenty of chocolate - oh well.

So.... we've finally decided next steps! We're going into another stim cycle. Tonight! I met with the director consultant today, and what a breath of fresh air. He is soooo different from the other doctor. Factual, data led. He shared the screen with us as he reviewed our notes so we could "see everything he could". (I'm not sure if I'd been flagged as a trouble patient haha.)

He is optimistic about our chances - given my response before. And is utterly bemused by my 'monster follicles' of last time. He walked through both the August protocol and the Feb one, and compared my progress on both. I suspect that was partly to get me off my high horse - but it worked to ease my mind that another stim cycle should get better results.

So we'll stim then go ahead to PGT-A screen whatever we get, along with the frozen ones. The money is a bit of an issue... but it's not like we're getting any holidays this year anyway... . He also set my mind at ease that they don't destroy mosaics (which is what I'd read before about that clinic).

So here we go with down reg for what will definitely be the last time - wish us luck!!

Sorry for my delayed reply! We've had a bit of a crazy few weeks as we're relocating back to the UK and renting out our house in Cape Town so it's been a bit of a blur of packing boxes and admin. Covid is NOT making any of it easy!!

Had our 13 week scan today which OH was allowed to come into and just WOW. We are also having a little girl! So incredible to see how she's grown and the Dr was just wonderful (it was at a different location with better machines called the Fetal Assessment Centre - not sure if that's the same in the UK). She was super happy with everything and baby is looking perfectly healthy. Such a relief.

So happy to hear all your news and especially yay @Lepatz that you're going for it again!! You rock. Love that your consultant was also so cool!!

@Lepatz that sounds like a really positive appointment. I've got everything crossed for you for lots of nice eggies from this round!! Are you on long protocol?

@loulamay congratulations on a little girl!

All was well at my 16 week appt. My antenatal care has been all screwed up because my midwife hasn't referred me to the right hospital. Hoping that all gets sorted pretty quickly!!

@Mseddy did you get sorted? Also, curious about the whole NHS system that I will soon be joining. We're currently in Uganda so that we can dodge the hotel quarantine in the UK but once we're back I'll have to find a GP.

Question - does the GP refer you to a midwife? Who decides if you're 'consultant led' and what does that mean exactly? Have you talked to anyone about a birth plan?

So curious!