August IVF

[Mseddy]

Had a quick look through but can't find an existing thread. Anyone due to cycle in August after a bit of moral support?

We are due to start our 2nd cycle of icsi for male azoospermia and my premature ovarian aging (full house for us!)

@West2401 that's awful, I'm so sorry for your loss

@West2401 so sorry for your awful news 💐

[quote West2401]@Mseddy congratulations!!! So pleased for you!!!!

We lost my father in law really suddenly yesterday in a traffic accident and all trying to process it. I thought maybe DH would want to postpone with everything going on but he's determined to go ahead. I just feel numb and don't really know how to help anyone, definitely not helped by all these hormones floating around. I'm also of the mindset that I want to push through but don't know if this would affect anything.

2020 - enough now.[/quote]
Oh god that’s just awful. There are no words of comfort for this just a virtual hug. 2020 yes the worst year ever. Take care of yourself Xx

My test is lighter this morning. Yesterday's was afternoon so I cant decide if that means it's definitely a chemical or wether I'm one of these odd people who has more concentrated hcg in the afternoons. I've done some doctor Google and it seems some people do have lighter in the mornings and darker in the pm.
God this whole journey is just awful!!

@Mseddy try not to panic, you could have just drank too much and your urine is more diluted. Test again tonight or if you can hold off, tomorrow morning?

I rang the clinic this morning for blood results and they’ve said the results are back but a doctor needs to review them. They still haven’t rang me. This is just absolute torture. I know they’re busy but this is really affecting me mentally now. My head is pounding and I just can’t focus on anything!

@JandL2020 @MrsT36 @nextweek @Elly1685 @Mseddy thank you for the kind words. It's just like an outer body experience. On top of all the hormones this is a lot.

To add to confusion, on Saturday I was told that transfer was going ahead on Wednesday, today I've been told that they are freezing the embryos and going to hold off again. I'm so low today it's almost unbearable xxx

@West2401 oh no! Why have they decided that? They should have made that clearer to you.

@West2401 I am so so sorry to hear your really sad news, couldn't be any more devastating with all the hormones and emotions thrown in. I can't offer any advice but please know I am thinking of you

@Mseddy I would really try to not read too much into the depth of colour of the lines. The can vary from day to day depending on how much water you have drunk etc.. It's still very early so maybe try tomorrow or Wednesday in the morning. But some people do have higher hcg in the afternoons!

@Lepatz please try not to worry too much as it could well be implantation but I know what a shock it can be!

@Elly1685 Hoping your doctor looks at your results quickly, it's an agonising wait like the rest of this process. Keeping fingers crossed!

Sorry it's taken me a while to catch up on all of the news, well done to everyone else with collections, transfers and 2WW's!

Been a tough few days as I had a bleed on Friday. Nothing too dramatic but scared the shit out of me! Called the clinic and they said to just keep an eye on it and call if it gets heavier (no surprises there!). Am just trying to stay calm until our scan on Thursday to see what's going on and if the pregnancy is viable, longest flipping 6 days of my life!

Thanks @StayingPositive8 I have everything crossed that you have a wonderful scan and the next few days fly by.

So the doctor has finally called. My hcg has dropped from 74 to 42. They think it’s a chemical. I am truly gutted but at least it’s not ectopic. Although thinking about it, it could have still been ectopic and failed? Maybe I shouldn’t think about that. I just need to focus on next steps now. I have two 5BB Frosties waiting for me

@West2401 I’m so sorry for your loss such dreadful news.

Hey everyone, I haven't been around for a couple of days. Two horrible days at work but now I am in Pembrokeshire for a 4 day break and it is blissful. Just being away from everything seems to have lifted some of the anxiety

@West2401 I am so sorry for your loss, that's so unexpected and tragic for you guys. Words just don't do it justice. Whatever you and your husband decide will be the right decision. Sending lots of love your way.

@Elly1685 So sorry you're going through that, it's really shitty. I know what you mean about the best worst thing but the relief it's not ectopic doesn't mitigate the loss you feel from a chemical. I hope it's a quick recovery for you, sending hugs.

@Mseddy Hang in there hun, I know it's so difficult. There are so many factors that affect it, I know my tests were always darker at about 10/11am compared to fmu. Today, massive congratulations on your bfp, I have everything crossed that it sticks.

@Lepatz Hope you're doing alright! Did you say you were heading up North for a bit? Sorry if that was someone else who said that. Also, on the walking thing although it was a while ago. A doctor once described an embryo as a poppy seed in peanut butter, there is very little you can do to disturb it. Visualising that really helps me lol.

@StayingPositive8 Really hoping your bleed doesn't mean anything, so so scary though. Sending lots of love and hoping your scan goes really well.

@Elly1685 so sorry to hear that, so unfair but I’m glad for you that it’s not ectopic.

@StayingPositive8 sorry to hear about your bleed, hope you get good news on Thursday.

I’ve had a bad few days, lines are getting progressively lighter on tests and I’ve had stabbing pains in my right side. DH was crying this morning as he’s absolutely heartbroken that the lines getting lighter might mean another chemical pregnancy. I was feeling quite numb, then broke down on the phone today with the clinic begging them to do a blood test just so I know one way or another if I’m losing this pregnancy but they are insistent that they won’t do it. They told me to go see the GP about the pain and I did and he did a urine test, I have white blood cells in my urine so it’s probably a UTI. He’s sent it to the lab to make sure as doesn’t want to give me antibiotics unless he needs to.

I’m OK this evening, not going to do any more tests. In my heart of hearts I know fainter tests taken at the same time of day with the same length of hold are likely to signal the end but there’s still a part of me hoping for what at this stage would feel like a miracle.

@kikisparks Oh hun, I am so so sorry. That's absolutely awful and I really feel for you. Also it sucks that your clinic won't do the blood tests. You can order them privately some other places (book online and visit one of The Spire hospitals I think) if you wanted to. I really hope you get some clarity soon, the not knowing is the worst.

@elly1685 so sorry to hear your hcg is dropping, but also glad that it's not looking like you will need surgery again.

@StayingPositive8 sorry you had a bleed, got everything crossed for your scan this week, I hope the days don't drag too much.

@kikisparks I'm so sorry to hear your lines are getting lighter too. Its bloody awful. will your GP do bloods or can you find a private lab nearby that will?

@CardboardCat 4 days away sounds delightful! I’m back in work tomorrow after 6 months off due to covid! I feel like I’d appreciate just one more day right now 🙈

@kikisparks sending lots of love and hugs and hope you get some support and positive news soon. Xxx

Thanks @CardboardCat @Elly1685 @Mseddy the GP didn’t offer to do bloods and the only private place that does it nearby has stopped due to covid there’s no aspire hospital in my city unfortunately.

@kikisparks how many dpt are you? I have everything crossed that you have a success story. There’s no point me saying to you ‘try not to stress’ because of course you’re going to. But try and keep busy and rest and test again in a day or two.

Just to end my wonderfully anxious day of waiting for the doctor to call, AF has decided to make an appearance. So I jumped in the bath with a large glass of white wine

@elly1685 enjoy your bath and your wine, truely deserved

@kikisparks I have no way of getting bloods either. How far from otd are you?

@Elly1685 Thank you, I’m 14dp5dt today. Enjoy your bath and wine, you have had so much to deal with until now, focus on taking care of yourself. Are you taking time off work?

@Mseddy it’s so frustrating knowing that there’s a test there that will give me answers and nobody will do it. My OTD was 4 days ago, my clinic just don’t do betas.

@kikisparks what have your clinic said? Have they just booked a scan for a few weeks? To be honest I was really surprised my clinic offered to do my bloods but I think it’s because I’ve had a past ectopic that they offered it. No I’m not taking time off work, I’m a teacher and have been off for six months, I think I’d feel guilty taking more time off. I’m sure it’ll be a good distraction from reality x

@Elly1685 it’s hard to remember as I was so distressed when I spoke to the nurse, she said she’d phone back but she didn’t. I think she said they’ll scan you if you’re bleeding but not for any other reason. I’m so grateful to my clinic and they have done a great job but they have quite a few times been really poor with communication.

That makes sense why you’re not taking time off, it’s good to be distracted.

Well when I say I’ve been off for six months ... I have actually been teaching from home ! Feel like I should defend myself there! 😂😂
I’m looking forward to seeing colleagues and the little ones again. I think it’ll be good for me to not be in the house.

My clinic is the same @kikisparks some days they’re great and others it can be so frustrating. Why not ring them again tomorrow. Im sure they won’t mind x

I know that you might have to wait a couple of days for results but you can get finger prick hcg blood tests in the mail. I'm not sure if it's helpful but here's a link I just found, there may be others: https://bloodtestinabox.co.uk/products/pregnancy-test

We've been away for the bank holiday so need to catch up with older messages but sending thoughts and love to everyone who is having a rough day today This process is brutal but you're all fucking warriors.

Evening folks

Thanks for all the messages of support yesterday and today, so appreciated. I was in the car coming back from Scotland, and couldn't face doing a proper reply in a bouncing vehicle. But I saw them all, and it really did help xxx

I've had an up and downy couple of days. Yesterday had a couple more bits of browny stuff. And AF style cramps. Managed to mostly convince myself it's late implantation. Woke up this morning - to much less cramping and the spotting stopped. Then I read a paper that said that late implantation is almost always a precursor for early loss... and kind of lost my hold of myself. And I had a BFN this morning too. At 8dp5dt. Seems like I should be seeing something by now.

Me and OH having some difficulties too. Stress from the treatment + COVID. I think he's having doubts about the whole thing. And I'm too jacked up on hormones to actually handle it right now. Bleurgh.

@Mseddy - congrats, that is fantastic news on your BFP :) I read something earlier that said there are lots of reasons that progression isn't as clear as you'd like - from dilution to age of the kits.

@West2401 I'm so so sorry to hear about your father in law, what horrible news. I was looking forward to congratulating you on all the fertilised embabys, especially after the difficult journey you've had so far, but this must be such a painful blow. Perhaps it's good they are going for a freeze all - gives you the space to breathe without making the decision.

@Custardandcream Thank you, and hope you're keeping well xx

@Elly1685 I'm so sorry you're having such a painful time with this process. Gutting to be a likely chemical, but yes, better than the alternative. Oh, I just got to the last message, I'm so sorry. Bath and wine are the only option x

@kikisparks Truly gutted for you, especially not being able to get the full story. Keeping everything crossed that it turns around for you xx

@nextweek Thank you - with hindsight I'm pretty sure the walks could only be positive. It's amazing how much this process f*s with the head!!

@StayingPositive8 Sorry to hear you had a bleed - it's so scary, and so hard not to think the worst. But I don't think it's so uncommon in early days xx

@CardboardCat Hope you have a fab holiday to escape the bleurgh of work. I just got back from Scotland yes. It really did help take my mind off the wait! Love the peanut butter and poppyseed! I just hope my poppyseed is firmly still squished in!!

@Elly1685 thanks I could ring them tomorrow but I just don’t want to talk to them any more to be honest, it just upsets me, it’s more the principle that they didn’t call me back when they knew how distressed I was than that I actually want them to call me, I’m still angry really that I was breaking my heart on the phone and they refused point blank to do a test they could easily do. No need to defend yourself I know teachers have worked very hard through the pandemic!

@loulamay thank you I’ll have a look at that.

@Lepatz sorry about the cramping, spotting and BFN. You’re not out yet but I know that horrible anxious feeling. Sorry you and OH are having a hard time too, I think that’s normal, it’s a really stressful time.