Starting the journey thread 3

[squirrelnutkins1]

Don't want to lose touch so new thread ready x

@GreyC the way i see it is pregnancy is a means to an end i know some women prob luv it but ive always said i dnt think i ll enjoy bein pregnant i just want a child wish they could grow them in the lab for 9months 😂

So yh i think adoption is great xx

@2fingers22018 how are you doing? Did you take another test? All the best for the baby shower tomorrow! X

@CloudSway ah thank you. I do feel better a bit better for a big ugly cry. When OH got home he was a bit shocked to see me with mascara full on smeared all down my face 🙈
I'm glad the team you're under seem so on the ball and want to get you sorted. Really pleased 👍🏻😊 I'm glad you can confide in us 😊

@VenusStarr your appointment sounds really positive, so pleased 😊 did the man come to look at the decking? The weather has been foul for days hasn't it!

@BambiOnIce80 how are you? X

@GreyC I'm so happy you're feeling at peace and have been able to have a really good chat with OH 😊 you sound lovely. It's def about the family unit and bringing up a lovely little person with love 💕

We're all on the same road and it doesn't matter how we get there, natural, ivf, adoption etc. I'd like to hear updates from everyone on here still, I'm too invested not to have updates!!

Well, my AF arrived on Thursday but it's only been very light and (sorry tmi) brown so I'm at a bit of a loss what to do about the Letrazole. You're meant to count day one of AF as your first day of proper flow and have Letrazole days 2-6, but I've not had a proper flow. I don't know whether to just to have a month off. I guess I should've phoned the clinic but seems too late now.

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend xx

Aww thanks @squirrelnutkins1
Funny what you have to go through and come out the other side. All about the love 💕

If your period is different have you taken a test?

@GreyC so true x
The thought did cross my mind but I've had a lot of pain so I don't think I could be preg. I don't think I could put myself thru taking a test either x

I understand that; sorry to hear you’ve had a lot of pain.
I’m lucky that pre ivf my periods were 3 days and barely any pain. My one since was 7 days; but I’ve had a lot of headaches and pain since them - think my ovaries are re booting and sorting themselves back out!

@squirrelnutkins1 yh i did a frer positive aswell i emailed the clinic on fri i need to fone the docs on mon to let them know aswell i suppose? I still feel like im in a total daze ive not told anyone which makes it even more weird, still getting a lot of cramps and ive been feelin really on edge. Think im just waitin for sumthin to go wrong! I think you should test there is a chance u could be pregnant..i know its scarey i was the same its hard to keep gettin ur hopes up its exhausting x

@2fingers22018 you're gonna feel nervous, only natural! How is OH? are you planning on telling anyone or waiting a few weeks?

@GreyC that's a positive way to look at it, a reboot 👍🏻😊

Test was negative as suspected. I'll just have a month off the Letrazole. I feel ok about it tbh. Takes a bit of pressure off me somehow.

I'm sorry to hear that @squirrelnutkins1 maybe a month off will be helpful ❤️ I still think about it, obviously, but it's nice not to have to be actively trying for a while.
Yes the decking guy came. Randomly we ended up talking fertility - his wife had an operation recently to remove stage 4 endo.

@GreyC I think that's great that you have a long term plan, sounds like it would take some of the pressure off :)

@CloudSway glad your dh doesn't have to keep going back. My dh is similar in the sense he is trusting the process and doesn't like lengthy discussions about what's happening (or not).
I think sticky blood is quite common so I'd get in touch if I was pregnant before my next appointment - unlikely though as I will only have one cycle following the operation before I see them. Dh and I did discuss me just taking aspirin next time anyway. Feel a bit like I've convinced myself that's the reason and what if it isn't, where would that leave me 😔 trying not to jump too far ahead though.

Hooe everyone is OK xx

2 weeks today until we go on holiday @2fingers22018 and I'm slowly starting to get excited now! 😁 I've got my euros, booked the car parking at the airport and handed over our spare keys to my mate to look after the kitten, so preparations are in full swing 🙂 How are you feeling? How did the baby shower go?x

You do realise @CloudSway that every time I say or write 'coag' at work now I'm going to be thinking crappy ovulation, add gin?! 🍸😂🤣 I'm a scientist in an NHS lab, so blood tests/results are very much my thing 🤓

I'd actually prefer it if they just gave me a hospital gown TBH @GreyC! 😄 I've still not found the ET PJ's 😏 Your plan going forward sounds excellent to me 😊

Sorry to hear it was a BFN @squirrelnutkins1 😔 A non-pressured cycle doesn't sound like a bad thing at all.x

Glad you got your decking sorted @VenusStarr 👍 If it helps with the peace of mind, an old friend of mine was diagnosed with protein S deficiency (causes sticky blood and is made worse by pregnancy) and she was advised to take daily aspirin whilst TTC. Then when she got a BFP they put her on low molecular weight heparin and that sorted out the MC issue each time.

Am feeling so meh! I’ve being reading all your post and just don’t know what to put in return at the mo am really struggling with how I feel about myself how the last transfer went and to be honest not knowing if I want to do it again! We have talked about doing a fet for our last embroy early next year if it worked then we will cancel other thin which is totally fine but my mental health is really struggling with it all!
I am starting my pt sessions again tomorrow and hopefully that will get me out of my slump and feeling more like me and feel like I can take on the world again!

I am thinking of you all and will keep reading your posts and hopefully rejoin you all at some point! Love to all xx

@BambiOnIce80 hols excitin! Lol is it france u said? @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF sorry ur down hun uv been through soo much wish i could say sumthin that would mske u feel better x

@squirrelnutkins1 thanks for gettin it glad im not just goin crazy lol my OH is the same scared to get excited..i think we ll wait until we get our early scan meant to b in about a month feels like a bloody eternity! How are u are u feelin any better

I'm back at work after a week off, got the post holiday blues - didn't think that was possible after such a stressy week off lol!. Only solution is I come along to Italy with you @bambionice80, see you at the airport! 😜👍🍕🛵🤣

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF I'm so sorry you're struggling. There's nothing easy about your situation, and I'm so sorry you're in it ❤ how is your OH now? It's hard when you see them struggle too - I tend to pull myself up by the bootstraps and expect a lot of myself, but I wouldn't dream of putting that on anyone else, so when he is struggling it's so much harder to pretend everything is fine! What is it you'd have to cancel if you went ahead in the new year?
Hope the pt was good - and don't feel like you have to be active on here, just know we're here if you need. Much love xx

@BambiOnIce80 nhs scientist?! Brave thing to announce round here, expect a barrage of questions 🤣😁

Speaking of which, I'm due my internal scan Thursday, and also a blood test. Anyone any idea what the blood test is? Also, since starting the down reg I haven't had a period, I started drugs on cd21 it's now cd33 and I'm normally 28/29. Do you think that will delay starting the stims? Or doesn't it matter? In a way I'm happy to not have af for the scan but not if it hold things up 😯

@venusstarr our DHs sound similar, I'd love to be like them not thinking so far ahead and every possible scenario but it feels impossible not to! So I won't tell you not to worry, but try to include some of the positive scenarios when you are thinking what might happen too 😉🙂❤

My heart goes out to you @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF 💙 I hope your PT session helped.x

It's Italy we're off to @2fingers22018 - and it sounds like @CloudSway is coming with us! 😄 How are you doing now lovely? Has the BFP sunk in yet?x

Since you're down regging at the moment @CloudSway then I'd expect that they'd be looking at your hormone levels to make sure they've basically stopped your normal cycle so that you can start stimming 💉 🤓 Will be sending you positive vibes tomorrow 💓

Now, onto something super important - the ongoing saga of the EC nightie! 🤪😉 What do you all think of the attached?🤔 It's not something I'd usually go for, but if I've got to be in my nightie in a room full of complete strangers then something that's just essentially a really long hoodie kind of appeals! The other plus is that it's available at John Lewis', which means I can walk down the road 10 minutes and try before I buy 👍

... The downside is I can't decide if it's god-awful or not and I'm being blinded by the positives!! 🤪 Any and all feedback appreciated 😘

@CloudsSway its hard to concentrate at work when uve got soo much on ur mind isnt it? I was short protocol so sorry i dnt know how urs works but i think the meds are supposed to stop ur cycle before stims? So maybe thats why uve not got af? How did ur bloods go?@BambiOnIce80 yh go for it its long and protects ur modesty 😳😂as much as u can gettin all this done..

Thanks @2fingers22018

@CloudSway thanks l! Dh seems ok but he not saying a lot probably because he knows I’m really struggling! I normally am a pull my big pants up and crack on but have found it very hard this time! We have arranged a big family holiday there will be a load of us as we have some big birthdays next year and thought what better way to celebrate think I feel bad because it was our idea anc everyone paying a lot of money and we’d have to pull out because of where we are going! It’s no big deal in the grand scheme of things! Or was good have singed myself back up to twice a week and have decided to stop drinking all together as it fuels my anxiety at the mo! We have booked a break for Dec and then I have booked Vegas for my dh 40th next year so we have somethings to look forward to now! I am also being super organised and have done half my xmas shopping already! Am feeling a bit more in control now but not sure how I feel about doing another transfer right now so just ignoring it I think but do need to arrange a follow up with the clinic at some point I guess. Buserelin can make af late you should still have one though! Not sure what your bloods would be as didn’t do long protocol either

@BambiOnIce80 thanks it certainly has and am back on it! I am surprised about you needing to take pjs in I went in my normal clothes took everything below the waist off put on a sexy gown given to me by the clinic once it was over with bottoms back on and off we went! Don’t think it matters to much everything will be on show to anyone who walks in there is no modesty at that point in your life so best just to ignore it

Hey, sorry I'm not contributing much at all, feeling really low. Think it's a combination of being on my period and it being really painful so triggering, my due date on Saturday and getting a letter for my rmc follow up for an appointment at the end of February. I just feel helpless.

I'm still reading, just sorry I can't say much or support you guys as I'd like xxx

Oh @VenusStarr. You don’t have to contribute anything; just know that I’m thinking of you.

Always here if you want to talk ❤️

@BambiOnIce80 Oooh Italy is my fave!!!! Sooooo jealous! Room for me too??

I'm glad I've taken control and decided not to take the Letrazole this month, can't control much in this life but I'm ok with that decision. We'll still try but at least I won't be thinking so much about the pills and side effects and obsessing that it'll be the magic cure!

Saying that, I'm very up and down at the mo. My due date would've been in three weeks and I just feel like I'm on the countdown to a break down or something. I know the date passing won't make everything better but I'm just hoping I can come up from under the water after it and have a fresh outlook from 2020.

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF biggest of hugs to you  I wish I could magic all of this away for us all xx I'm glad you've got a few nice things to look forward to. Always helps. Glad your PT sesh went well 💪🏻

@2fingers22018 how'd the baby shower go? How you feeling?

@CloudSway how did your scan and blood test go? Did you find out what it was for?

@VenusStarr hugs and love coming your way xxx I'm so sorry you're struggling. You're so lovely worrying about everyone else when you feel low 💕 thoughts are with you for sat 💔😢

@GreyC how's things with you hun?

Wish a few peeps would come back and update us, I still think about @kelly199 we're here if you want to chat hun xx same for you guys.....
@Anaesthetist83 @kh87 @bunhead34 @impatientmammy @Mrsmch123 @veeboo

Things have been quiet at my end, but it is start of downregulation day today (yay). Managed to get hold of buserelin after the supply problem concerns. For some reason, my clinic prefer to start the HRT on a Thursday, so sadly have 3 weeks of buserelin before that starts. All being well, hope to transfer mid Dec.

@Anaesthetist83 ooh exciting. Really hope you start the new year with a BFP 🙏🏻

@squirrelnutkins1 the baby shower was k im still not a big fan of them tho lol i just feel like its one of those things that feels like forced fun do u know what i mean? Maybe its me being crazy but its always a bunch of ppl who dnt know one another and will prob never see one another again. It makes me feel uncomfortable when ppl go to the are u having kids convo im not gd at lyin at all so i felt soo awkward..My family member enjoyed it thats the main thing tho. I know its a catch 22 taking a break from ur meds but it sounds like you ve made the right decision for u, maybe sum anti anxiety meds might make u feel better ive taken them before as ive said on here x

@2fingers22018 yeah I feel the same. I hate it at some where people want them to open the gifts in front of everyone, feels awkward and then you feel like crap if you've not been as generous as someone else!

You're probably right. My friend said to me last week I cant relax cus I can't get preg so if I go on meds I might be able to relax and get preg..... I've not spoken to her since!

I've just bought this for us, not sure when I'll give it OH but thought it'd help give us some ideas of things to go out and do to keep busy!!

https://www.asos.com/gift-republic/gift-republic-100-dates-scratch-off-bucket-list/prd/11443265?affid=24950&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=6676693810%7C84742565928%7Cpla-294682000766&cclid=GoogleeCj0KCQjw9fntBRCGARIsAGjFq5HxYkxJIxJCYDYrzERP3rC57XHfsBNzwztnzMlbbxcdenGeCwaFBQaAmKEEALwwwcB&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9fntBRCGARIsAGjFq5HxYkxJIxJCYDYrzERP3rC57XHfsBNzwztnzMlbbxcdenGeCwaFBQaAmKEEALww_wcB