Starting the journey thread 3

[squirrelnutkins1]

Don't want to lose touch so new thread ready x

@2fingers22018 I'm much better thanks. Pretty sure it was bad pub food as I was ok, just washed out the next day. But couldn't go to work until 48 hours clear. I'm prob going to have to go on sickness monitoring now 🙄🙄🙄 I've had loads (by my standards) of time off this year. It's amazing how I've had several years of perfect attendance with no recognition but one bad year and I'll prob get 'monitored' 🙄

Anywho. How are the cramps now? Bet the 24th can't come quick enough!!! Are you going to hold out til then or test early? Sorry you've got the baby shower coming up 💔☹️

@squirrelnutkins1 glad to hear ur feeling better thats annoyin if ur work monitor you as u say they should go by previous attendance my work are really strict about it too..i dnt think i could test early even if i wanted to ive read with all the hormone meds u could get a false reading its torture! Every other tww for me recently i havent even tested because id resigned myself to the fact id need ivf but since theres a little bit of hope this time its different. My OH is out with the lads and im home alone(too tired to go out) so that doesnt help uuuggh u up to anything nice? X

Hi everyone, sorry I've been quiet. I've felt quite overwhelmed this last week, nothing in particular but I'm tired and finding things tough. I was quite worried (still am really) that I'm not well, just finding existing is exhausting. Feeling a bit better for resting this weekend.

Hope everyone is OK xx

@venusstarr Its completely understandable to have times when you feel overwhelmed, it happens even in the everyday, never mind when you have all this stuff going on. When you say you feel unwell, what do you mean? It is totally different from person to person, but a couple of years ago I was finding life just a bit too much and was exhausted pushing through it, and for me just a low dose of medication from the doctor really transformed how I was feeling - I took it for about 9 months, just long enough for it to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel on my own. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but might be something to think about? Of course you might just mean you just have a funny tummy, in which case ignore all that 😳😉

@2fingers22018 thinking of you, tww is turmoil at the best of times! Sorry you're feeling a bit delicate- did you enjoy having the telly to yourself the other night while OH was out at least?! Are you taking time off work?

I didn't plan to have more than a couple of days off work after transfer, but now it's looking like it might be DHs only chance this round, which is piling on the pressure for me not to do anything at all that might affect it as I couldn't bare it if he ended up thinking it would have worked if I'd stayed off work 😖

This is all after they rushed us in to freeze what he had, they got 6 straws of sample which was even lower than last time less than 1 million, then after freezing they always defrost one to see how it copes and only 5% survived. Of that 5% he only has 1.5% morphology, 1% motility so they will have to defrost the entire batch for our first round 🙇‍♀️

I feel a bit numb really. The plus side is that we had a really good chat about our options and DH said he was becoming resigned to using doner sperm - which is basically how I feel too so we're on the same page. It's just hard when you feel like this round has such low odds of working, it's hard putting yourself through the horrid needles and mood swings, it feels like it's a pointless exercise at this point

On the plus side I bought some transfer pjs... snazzy af lol (hi I'm cloudsway I use humour as a coping mechanism! 😋 )

@finallytakingtheplungewithivf oh and thank you for saying about the Buserelin, it's helping me get through it that you said it stopped itching after a few days! Ive somehow managed to give myself a huge bruise yesterday! Didn't even know that was possible on a wobbly tummy 🤪 must be my hidden 6 pack

So sorry that things are tough at the moment @VenusStarr 💐 Always here if you want to talk ❤️

That sucks about the potential sickness monitoring @squirrelnutkins1 😔 It is really frustrating when you've had such a good record before - hopefully they'll take that into consideration 🤞🏻

I can't imagine how hard the TWW is after IVF @2fingers22018 💙 How are you doing now? Was the baby shower this weekend or next? Sending tonnes of positivity your way for the 24th 💓

My mind boggles at how stressful the last few days have been for you @CloudSway, but very glad to hear you've found some snazzy EC pj's (I'm also a lover of humour as a coping mechanism 😉). May I ask where you got them from? I'm still on the hunt for a satisfactory night dress (M&S were surprisingly unsatisfactory 😕)... That's literally all I've got to update at the moment! 😣I hate all this extra waiting about for things to get going! 😞

Thanks @CloudSway, yes I mean depression or something like that? 😔 I got home from work on Thursday and just cried on dh because I was so tired. I just keep thinking maybe I'll feel better tomorrow and put it off seeing the GP. I have been referred for more counselling with work, but I'm actually a bit tired of talking about it too.
Would taking antidepressants affect ttc at all? I'm a bit scared to take anything as dh took antidepressants a few years ago and he got much worse, scarily so, he plummeted within a few days and we had a rough time so I don't want to put us through that. I just keep thinking I'm not OK 😢

Glad you've got some snazzy new pj's 😊

Thank you too @BambiOnIce80

I've had a chilled day, been for a swim and just about to have toad in the hole for dinner 😋

Hope you're getting on OK @2fingers22018 is your test day this week? 🤞

How are you @squirrelnutkins1? ❤️ Xx

@VenusStarr ive been on meds for anxiety/depression aswell please go to the docs as soon as u can hun i know its really hard to do but the longer u leave it then it might get worse just remember the meds were made for a reason to help u out of a hole x @CloudsSway normally i luv a tv nite in alone but i was soo glad when my OH got back in lol im feeling really on edge atm take some time off work you wnt regret it..i never do😉(jokings my go to aswell) i luv a gd snazzy pair of pjs😍 i said that to my oh when injecting ive gained sum weight recently but the bonus is injecting into fat is less painful @BambiOnIce80 the baby shower is sun could the timing be any worse? either way al b an emotional wreck!🎢 test day is fri😲

@venusstarr I have to admit, when I first started taking it I had the same, I was told it was a side affect. The first 4 days were the worst I've ever been, but on the 5th it was like someone had literally flicked a switch for me, I still felt sad but immediately out of a black hole, everything was suddenly manageable again. At the end of the day it's your decision, and you are strong and will come out of that hole eventually but just see it like a little ladder, doesn't stop it being hard but just helps you get out a little quicker hopefully. We were ttc so I told my gp and he gave me sertraline because you can take it when pregnant. It didn't do wonders for my libido but I can't say I was finding anything about ttc remotely sexy at the time anyway lol. Still don't!! 😆
I am super jealous of your toad in the hole! Haven't had that in forever...😻 how's the swimming going?

@2fingers22018oh gawd great timing for the baby shower 😬 look on the bright side, you might love it and be getting ideas for your own by then, how amazing would that be!

@bambionice80 thanks lovely, it's been a bit tough but I'm learning a good lesson in resilience - which I'm surprised at, thought the meds were supposed to make me a hormonal wreck! 😫😁😤😌😭😄 lol
Bought my PhD in m&s, then are grey with stars but my fav bit is they are almost ankle length but with 360 degree stretch so can still go legs akimbo and walk like a cowboy if necessary! 😂 also 30% off (prob more likely why I bought them if I'm honest, cheapskate)

@squirrelnutkins1 if they want to 'monitor' you, let them. That doesn't sound like they are actually disciplining you, and no company is stupid enough to take serious action with the reasons you've been off, surely! Knobs. X

Morning,

Had to take some time out and to be honest I’m really struggling with how I’m feeling at the mo! Am scared I’m slipping in to a hole and I’ve been there before and don’t want to go back it ruined my relationship for an 18 month period!! I think because we are not focused on transfers or meds it’s all just hit me how tired and sad I am that it’s not worked yet and I know loads of people go through loads more rounds then this! Need to get back to the gym that helps lift my mood but I can’t be bothered it’s all so hard!!

@2fingers22018 not long till test day! How are you feeling? I have been thinking about you and have my fingers crossed for you x

@VenusStarr sorry your not in a good place either it is so hard isn’t it! Glad you got your appointment xx

@cloudsway how are you getting on with buserelin now? Has it settled down?

@squirrelnutkins1 sorry you are dealing with such a horrible person. It is tough and I nearly left a job because of it! Hope you are feeling better now!

@BambiOnIce80 hope your ok?

@CloudSway i feel like my periods about to come ive been gettin all my usual symptoms just before it nosebleed cramping and really tired fml seriously..glad your finding injecting enpowering i felt the same like i cant believe im actually doin this its kind of crazy how we find the strength to do all this your jammies sound luvely btw @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF i feel really down apparently the pessaries can have that affect on ppl that and the feeling i know my periods goin to come..sorry to hear your feeling low aswell. Fuck the universe seriously sorry rant over..for now😆

So I spoke to my managers manager today. It was work related but then I randomly got upset so ended up telling her about the mc. She was really nice. I mentioned about the sickness monitoring and she said it'd only kick in if I was off again this year BUT because of everything I've been thru I wouldn't get in any bother so that was reassuring. She also said I'd be supported going forward with fertility treatment time off so I was pleased I randomly got upset and had that conversation!!

Sorry you're feeling like af is coming ☹️ still time yet, here's hoping 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 @2fingers22018

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF massive hugs to you. So sorry you're struggling xxx

@VenusStarr hugs and love xxx

Thinking of you all. Thanks again for all the lovely messages and support over the last however long. You're all a lovely bunch. So nice to have a bunch of ladies looking out for each other xxx

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF @GreyC sorry if im repeating myself but did both of you get constant cramps with these pessaries the bloating is insane aswell i feel like i could burst my stomach with a pin!📌🎈

I had one and off cramping and horrific bloating. No period though untill two days off the pesseries.

Fingers crossed for you !

I’m struggling - loads of happy pregnant people at work. Can’t stand looking at them.

I understand how you feel @finally

Glad you had that chat @squirrel

@2fingers22018 no cramps apart from the first couple of days but yes was extremely bloated by the end of it!!

@GreyC @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF ive had cramps every single day and ive not been eating as much as usual because of the bloating ive actually lost a lb but look like ive gained half a stone in fluid retention. Sorry bout the pregnant ppl at work i seen someone with a really cute baby today in the supermarket got me down its insane how many ppl get pregnant soo easily!

@GreyC big hugs xxx

@2fingers22018 how are you today? Sorry about all the bloating!

I've just had some spotting and feel belly achy so I think that's me out this month 🙄 Dya know what, even though it's been over two years trying I still convince myself I'm preg every month! Wish I didn't do that. I even dreamt we had a cute baby boy the other night, my mind doesn't normally ever let me get that far.

@veeboo I was thinking of you yesterday, how are you getting on? How far along are you now? Xx

@squirrelnutkins1 worse today if thats possible hurts when i sneeze i hate progesterone..i always have dreams i have kids too funnily enough always a boy lol your still takin ur pills to help ovulation arent you?

@2fingers22018 sorry you're worse today ☹️
It's the first time I can remb dreaming about OH holding a baby. Of course I was nagging him about supporting the baby's neck 🤣 but it felt nice in the dream.... then you wake up 💔
Are you testing first thing tomorrow? 🙏🏻Together?
Yeah still on the pills, then back to the clinic for appt in Jan.
I don't know whether to go private and try and get another laparoscopy. Food for thought over the next few months. Well I may as well ask for it on the nhs first but pretty sure they'll say no.

@squirrelnutkins1 i was dreaming we had a baby but hadnt got any stuff for them funny but like u said sad when u waken up..yh testing 1st thing 2morro scared i dnt have alot of hope given my constant stomach cramps and nosebleeds😥 its worth asking u dnt ask u dnt get as they say💞

Have my fingers crossed @2fingers22018
I had pain too around my stomach when I sneezed and progesterone I swear gave me the beginnings of my bronchitis!!

@2fingers22018 all the best for tomorrow xx

I've let myself have a massive cry tonight. Think I needed it!

@GreyC @squirrelnutkins1 oh no hope your both okay thanks for the support girls🤗