BFP after IVF: nervous ladies needed a handhold Part II

[gingergnome]

Hi everyone,

Think that the last thread for this topic reached its limit, so have started a new one.

Good luck to everyone who has finally got that longed for BFP!

This is a place for everything that comes after the 2WW: celebrating milestones, being (cautiously!) excited, symptom checking, worrying, sharing advice, commiserating bad news, generally keeping each other going, and willing each other along on our way to the 12 week mark.

A bit about me: 39 y/old, 0 DC, IVF ICSI cycle 1, first BFP since TTC, currently 6+0.

Look forward to meeting lots of people with new BFPs and sharing your journey!

Tagging in some ladies from the old thread,
@itonlytakesone
@TheArtfulScreamer
@cannonball8726

We've tried dentinox that just made her constipated, gripe water worked for an hour but trying to administer it wasn't worth the hassle for the hours relief so infacol is our next port of call. Sometimes wish these babies came with a full instruction manual

@TheArtfulScreamer1 just had our 6 week check with a GP, who lectured me about how breast is best, and to put Sofia in a bedroom, on her own. Leave her to cry to sleep train her! 😠 luckily our health visiter was a lot more understanding! Xx

That's almost laughable a breast is best lecture but complete disregard for SIDS research.
Today I learnt that tummy time is an actual developmental thing and I should've been doing it since she was born, oops but in my defence I've never done this before and if no one tells you how are you supposed to know.

@TheArtfulScreamer1 I didn’t realise that either! We have lay her on our chest before, and she lifts her head up. Not actual tummy time tho. How is Florence betting on with it? Xx

We only did it for a few mins yesterday and she was fine with it but she has developed her neck strength quite well anyway, we'll try and do 5 mins a couple of times today.

Hello! Was just reading back..
Sounds like you've all got the same worries/issues as me. My baby is unsettled with wind in the evening sometimes and is inconsolable and then i cry on her head because i can't fix her and it upsets me..! The look so upset it literally breaks my heart 💔all you can do is cuddle them. I do rub her belly with olive oil and give her baths to ease it.

I'm on Aptimal formula and she's doing really well on that though and guzzles all her bottles and is settled at night. Think it gives her the wind & colic though but she'll grow out of it. I also use Colief drops from boots which have worked i give her 4 drops per bottle it's definitely eased the colic/wind and she sleeps longer stints at night. Iv not attempted gripe water but use infacol although she spits that straight back out.!

@BeHereNowx32
I started to breastfeed and switched before i was discharged from hospital it wasn't going well and I wasn't getting enough in her and probably heading to post natal depression if i continued & I felt it took too much bonding time away from her as i was so busy expressing she's only this big once and I'm not having another baby.

Because of my birth (long gap after waters breaking then induction & my raised temp) my baby had to have IV antibiotics straight after birth too so the Neo natal Doctors were hinting that i needed to get more milk in her ....all her levels went up straight away after i switched to formula, so if you feel the baby would be better by switching do it, Iv never looked back it was so important to get her healthy and over the infection 😀.

Hi ladies, congratulations on your bfp! Can I please ask your advice? I've got bfn after IVF and 4 days delay of my period. My worry is that I really want to exclude possible ectopic pregnancy. I did my IVF cycle privately in Czech so don't really have access to a clinic here who would do the test for me. I called my GP saying just that I've got a delay and the test is negative, can I do the test to exclude ectopic. Do you think it's okay not to mention that I'm after IVF? We are not eligible for NHS fertility treatment and I'm afraid he might send me to a private clinic if he finds out it's IVF related? Did you tell the GP about IVF?

@Itonlytakesone thank you for sharing your experience. Sounds like you made the right decision for you and baby and I’m glad you’re both doing better! I am still combination feeding. My health visiter days this is fine, and my body will adapt. I needed a break though, as feeding myself got way too sore. So glad I can give bottles too.

Have you tried bottles like dr browns? Think they are anti colic. Hope you’re wee one settles.

@Viletta sorry for your negative result. I don’t have any experience of ectopic, but I thought you would still get a positive result. Hope you get answers.

Just had bad breastfeeding session though. Baby keeps pulling at the nipple. Don’t know if she is uncomfortable, bad latch or not coming fast enough. Ouch! X

@Itonlytakesone I meant to ask how much formula your baby takes? Our 6 week old wants to feed every 2 hours or so, even with formula. She doesn’t always finish bottles though

@Viletta
If you are concerned about eptopic then you can monitor the symptoms at home maybe then go to a walk in centre of you get worse Iv not had any experience of one though but the symptoms are quite bad you'd probably know if you had one if in doubt get checked out just explain everything to a walk in centre.

@BeHereNowx32
My little girl is now on 5oz every bottle and sometimes takes a 6oz and she's 7 weeks now. At night though she falls asleep and only took 3oz but that's rare. I feed her every 4 hours in the day but at night i can leave her 6-7 hours now. Yes Iv got the dr browns bottles they are great but hard work to wash especially if she's being clingy!

@Itonlytakesone wow! 6-7 hours is amazing. Probably with breastfeeding our little one needs more often.... it’s something to think about.
Thanks x

@BeHereNowx32 the dr said tummy time now?? Usually that's from 4 months. 3 if baby has full control of head. Did you try shields? Breasts shouldn't hurt after first 2 weeks 😔 unless the latch is wrong, so I've read! Not from experience.... I'm yet to go through it all. Sounds tricky! The faff of sterilisation and carrying hot water and formula around etc must be tiring on top of everything else. Ive been given so many bottles, formula and a pump etc just in case. I'm learning it all anyway. I'd like to pump though so OH can feed her every few feeds so I can sleep 😬 we will see!! Hope you're feeling well xx

@HJ82 the health visiter told me to try tummy time from 6 weeks. Baby is actually really good at holding her head up 😊 she barely napping during the day just now. And a little sleep at night. Not sure if it’s the breastfeeding or a growth spurt (or both).
It’s good to be prepared. I’m still undecided with what to do regarding feeding. Sofia still wants both. But would possibly be more settled if I gave her more formula...

I can feel my periods coming. Feels so soon! Oh well. Was nice to have a break from them x

I think if someone told me that our baby would sleep for hours after a bottle, then I would switch to formula. 🙈 but I can’t know that for certain... x

@BeHereNowx32 sounds like you've got a good system going! If she's ok with her head then no reason not to start tummy time 🙂 I made a cloud pillow for our girls tummy time. I actually made the entire activity gym lol - it's funny. I made it as a tipi shape so later she can put fabric around it and use as a den. Was fun to make. Looking forward to making cute little dresses for her later on too ❤️ personally I really want to breastfeed for as long as possible. I really hope I don't have any trouble. 😔 everyone keeps telling me to keep my expectations low. But it's so natural, it's puzzling that so many women struggle with it so much. What did we do before formula? Maybe since a couple of generations were raised on bottle we've lost something there. If you have no choice then I totally understand but I really want to give it my best.

@BeHereNowx32 in the baby whisperer book she talks about only feeding from one boob at a time for up to 40mins. This allows baby to get hind milk, which is the fatty goodness. Apparently often women are told to feed for less time and switch half way through, meaning baby doesn't get all the 3 types of milk our breast let's down in one feed. Something I'm going to research more about for sure

Some awful advice on this thread

1. For sick babies after/with an infection breast milk is the very best thing you can give them because of the antibodies in it. If you aren’t expressing enough then of course formula is good and baby needs fluid but it’s not the optimal thing. And yes I’ve been there - I expressed with my baby on picu and then breastfed her after.
2. Formula does not guarantee a baby sleeps longer- sometimes it does sometimes it doesn’t
3. To the last pp if you really want to breastfeed you probably can - you need to get lots of support (the reason why most women don’t end up doing it - they don’t have enough instruction or support), drink lots and lots of water and keep trying. If it’s not going well try nipple shields or expressing and then you can definately get some breast milk in them. Formula is better than a starving baby or a depressed mum but definately there’s not enough support for bf in this country and loads of pressure on women just to switch when it gets a bit hard. Do what’s right for you and your baby at the end of the day then you’ll have no regrets either way.

Ps some areas of the country you can get a specialist breastfeeding midwife to visit or you can pay privately for a lactation consultant.
Lack of post natal care is a massive factor in why women struggle to bf - how are you supposed to learn when you are discharged 6 hours after delivery having done only 1 or 2 feeds. In olden days women stayed for post natal care for a week as standard

@HJ82 breastfeeding is an amazing experience. That’s why I don’t want to give it up. It’s quite tough when you’re recovering from birth, hormones are going crazy, and baby is feeding for hours and hours on end! Don’t go into it worrying. If you have the drive to do it, I’m sure that you will. Tbh, Sofia doesn’t have much formula if I breastfeed her first. I’m going to go to our local breastfeeding support group this week. And so sweet that you can make things for baby. That is lovely

@Redskyandrainbows67 my reasons for struggling with breastfeeding is that it is affecting my mental health. Not that I want an easy way out for sleep. Baby feeds on me a lot, which affects my sleep. This has made me feel extremely low, unwell and even hallucinating. My baby is feeding well, and is a good weight.
She latches well, however, won’t let me help her. Which concerns me a little with feeding in public. I need everything out for her to find the nipple herself!

Anyway, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing for as long as I can handle it

@HJ82 going back to what you said about baby feeding for 40 mins. I was told by health visiter, midwife and doctor to let her feed for 30 mins, then give formula. But I don’t take her off, I let her come off herself. She now feeds around an hour, and switches between both breasts. I’ve never taken her off before she is ready. I do agree with that advice. Can get a bit much when baby feeds for 5 hours with just small breaks though! Haha. (That happened in the first days) xx

Behere - your mental health and sleep is important. And a good reason to formula feed if you think that would improve it. Going to a bf group is a good idea - get all the help you can get. Ultimately it sounds like you’ve done your best and you should be proud of what you’ve done. Some babies are just harder to feed than others.

@Redskyandrainbows67 thank you! I will give the support group a chance and take each day at a time. Breastfeeding my baby just now though 😊

You're not alone, @beherenow32. Breastfeeding is really hard work! Having to top up my baby with formula as she isn't back at her birth weight yet. I'm expressing too to try and improve supply and to top up with expressed milk instead of formula. But it's hard. I spend the whole day feeding her it feels like. It's quite demoralising! Trying to stick with breastfeeding...

@cannonball8726 the feeding has calmed down for us. But Sofia is taking formula too. (Not after every feed, but more often now).
That’s great that you are expressing too. It wasn’t for me. I think if you are doing all of that during these early days, it will hopefully all become much easier for you soon

I breastfed baby at 8:00-9:00. Then she had 3oz of formula. Bath, then finished formula (2oz). 2 hours later I fed her again for around 30/40 mins. (Breast) Then she drank 5oz of formula!! And slept until 4:40 😦 I just fed her for around 40 mins myself and she is calm but awake... so will try hold off with formula. But was nice to get that sleep!

Xx

Can I join, tentatively?

I got my BFP this morning after a FET cycle. I have a DD (4.5) from a previous relationship.