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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

IVF/ICSI June/ July 2018 (Part 2)

534 replies

Tigerlily99 · 25/06/2018 23:25

Hello ladies, I think we reached the maximum no of posts on last thread so I opened a new one. Hope you are Ok with this OP (@cannonball)? X

OP posts:
LopeyLopez · 11/07/2018 18:39

Well I think I am out. Have had pink spotting the past two days - right around the time af should have been - and I was holding onto hope it was breakthrough bleeding (which I did have with first pregnancy), but this evening it has turned to red. Am thinking it is af, just delayed a few days by the cyclogest. I am obviously gutted and so miserable.

I allowed myself to feel positive and happy yesterday and just went with the idea that I was actually pregnant .... and it was wonderful. I loved it....all the plans for the future, mat leave, how it fitted in with work and of course, the main bit, growing that lovely little baby inside me and then finally holding them in my arms.

Back down to Earth now.... sorry to put a downer on things. My test date isn't until Monday which seems ages away, but I have heard lots of people bleed before despite the progesterone. I must be one of those.

I have never been on such an emotional rollercoaster. I range from apathy one minute to absolute devastation the next. I can't keep up with myself. I will ring and find out about counselling at the hospital when I tell them my test result on Monday, as I think I really really need it. Part of me just says, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again.....which I had planned for anyway. But another part just wants to scream and die. This is so hard

Good luck to everyone else waiting (the hardest part) x

Viletta · 11/07/2018 18:43

@Gavinmaxine1 great news!! Congratulations on your top embies! Well done:))

@cannonball8726 have some rest. I worked from home pretty much all the time during stims, felt pretty worn off. Sunday is close and I’m dreading it a bit.. trying to be brave and have plans for any outcome. Slowly unpacking and redecorating a bit. I love our new house! Very similar to the old one we rented but has a different vibe to it:) good luck with stims! Hope eggs grow well and you have plenty of rest you need x

tikha · 11/07/2018 20:12

@LopeyLopez really tough going there. Our bodies feel one way, our mind follows and the highs and lows are just painful. Hoping you have some pet project or netflix to escape to over the weekend

Viletta · 11/07/2018 20:42

@LopeyLopez oh no:((( bleeding sometimes does happen .. maybe it’s not af? I would call the clinic to see what they think. May want to make a blood test to route out ectopic just in case.. see what they think.

Is this your first attempt? They learn a lot from failed cycles and next time may correct your protocol for the better. Our feelings are all over the place because of strong instinct to procreate. Don’t give up, Give yourself plenty of rest, spoil yourself, then retreat, regroup and start all over again. You will get there!

cannonball8726 · 11/07/2018 22:27

Oh @lopey I'm sorry :( I really hope it isn't AF. Could you call clinic tomorrow and tell them? This is such an awful rollercoaster. I hope your other half is supporting you through this. Whatever happens with this cycle (for us all), it isn't the end. Hugs to you during this shitty time.

cannonball8726 · 12/07/2018 08:38

How are you doing, @lopeylopez? Flowers

Cariad2017 · 12/07/2018 10:16

Apologies for jumping onto this thread. I’ve been stalking for a while but as I’m not due to start down-regging until the end of the month, I couldn’t really claim to be doing IVF in Jume/ July... I’ve also never attempted IVF before so am pretty clueless...

Lopey - I just wanted to say that I really hope the spotting has absolutely nothing to do with AF arriving and that you’re still in the game. Keeping everything crossed for you. This is such a tough game. Xxx

HJ82 · 12/07/2018 10:42

@cannonball8726 Yeah they are great. I am not on those drugs though. I am with UCLH for the most part. I'd not be able to afford CRGH alone. One woman on here paid £27k with them. Quite unbelievable. Obvs she must have had a lot of extras. I'm still only around 10mm for my biggest follie and I'm on day 9. I'm starting to feel a bit heavy though now. So that's good. My acupuncturist said slow growing is good. Better than too fast. So I am taking that. haha. Quality over Qty and all that. It's just so frustrating not knowing when it's going to be. My DH can't request time off work the night before (he works till 5am) because we have no idea when it will be. I can't imagine him coming into the clinic after a 13hr night shift to produce the goods. Anyway, I am totally morning rambling. Hope you're feeling a bit better today!

@lopeylopez I am so sorry. I very much hope it's not the real AF. Lots of love to you.

ginandtonicformeplease · 12/07/2018 12:57

I realised last night that my breasts are no longer sore and I don't feel as bloated anymore. Occasional cramps still. Not sure what all this means but it's test day tomorrow so I'll at least know this time tomorrow one way or another!

ginandtonicformeplease · 12/07/2018 17:06

I've got some spotting now to go with the cramps so looks like I'm out.

Viletta · 12/07/2018 17:14

@ginandtonicformeplease I’m feeling exactly same, no more bloating, no more breast pain, I’ve got spotting and cramps today too.. tested and it’s negative. I’m 10 dpt, rest due on Sunday. I’m 99% sure that I’m out. Might continue cyclogest till my test day though just in case. Thinking where to get money for the next cycle.. mines are not nhs funded..

ginandtonicformeplease · 12/07/2018 17:18

@Viletta Same as us - our CCG does no funding at all any more and it was hard to come up with the cash for a round. We have got some frosties though so at least I won't have to go through EC again, but just the FET is pretty pricey.

MynameisJune · 12/07/2018 17:20

Sorry to jump on the thread. Long term ttc’er but due to personal circumstances can’t start IVF until at least October.

@lopeylopez so sorry to read your latest update, I am keeping everything crossed that this is not af. Huge un-mumsnetty hugs xxx

MynameisJune · 12/07/2018 17:26

Sorry to jump on the thread. Long term ttc’er but due to personal circumstances can’t start IVF until at least October.

@lopeylopez so sorry to read your latest update, I am keeping everything crossed that this is not af. Huge un-mumsnetty hugs xxx

LopeyLopez · 12/07/2018 21:08

Thank you all so much for your kind messages....it is lovely to feel so supported here.

@MynameisJune and @Cariad2017 : you found me here! So sorry it is not in happier circumstances.

I'm out as spotting turned into full af. However I am feeling relatively strong and positive already. Thinking of the next cycle and being very scientific and methodical about it..... had acupuncture this evening and was just asking lots of questions about the next steps (she has seen so many women go through this and knows my clinic well).

I am planning to have one "true" bleed after this post-medicated one and then get straight back on it, if they'll let me. I don't want to hang around because of my age. I obviously have an egg quality problem which is only going to get worse, so I feel I have to act now.

@ginandtonicformeplease and @Viletta no no no please don't let your cycles go the same way as mine..... was really hoping for some positive outcomes from at least one of us. There is still hope for you guys I think; fingers and toes crossed.

I read so many stories online about spotting being a positive thing - as in, implantation or breakthrough bleeding (when af should have been) - and it really does happen. Here's hoping someone is still pregnant!

I am trying not to think of the huge amount of money I've "wasted"..... my pot is obviously not bottomless and so I am starting to feel the strain. Massive fingers crossed for the second cycle working for me🤞 Good luck to those still waiting for this current cycle 🤞🤞🤞🍀

HappyHedgehog247 · 12/07/2018 22:32

@lopeylopez I’m sorry, and for @viletta and @ginandtonic too if bfn is confirmed.

I’m more bloated and thirsty on stims than last cycle so keeping fingers crossed that my small and sparse follicles from Monday have been growing and multiplying. @hj82 are you scanning tomorrow too?

HJ82 · 12/07/2018 22:46

@HappyHedgehog247 yep ANOTHER scan tomorrow. 3rd one this week. They've been growing 2mm between scans. We will see. I have substantial pain on one side where my endo was cut out. It usually flares up close to ovulation so with the stimming it's very uncomfortable to walk 😣 I'm going to strap a back brace on to hold my tummy in so it can't move about.

HappyHedgehog247 · 12/07/2018 22:50

@hj82 I’m sorry you’re so uncomfortable. Good luck tomorrow. I’m at a more hands off place (aka resource strapped NHS hospital although I am self funding) so only scan no 2 for me. I’d love to find out when ec is but my best guess is another scan on Monday!

HJ82 · 12/07/2018 22:51

@ginandtonicformeplease I'm so sorry love. I very much hope you're still in. Symptom spotting with all these drugs in our system isn't going to be 100 percent accurate. Just see what happens tomorrow. Sending love. Camden do 3 rounds! I should have moved there before embarking on this journey.

HJ82 · 12/07/2018 22:56

@HappyHedgehog247 I'm with NHS but at uclh. They're pretty good. I get scans at the clinic and with them. It's so annoying not knowing when trigger will be. Not knowing what date to tell work (my work are fab so it doesn't really matter) but DH's isn't so flexible hmm. Hope we get some confirmations tomorrow. Good luck!!

HJ82 · 12/07/2018 22:59

@HappyHedgehog247 forgot to say, I didn't know you could self fund and do thru nhs. I'm assuming it's cheaper doing this than going direct with a clinic? I'd never be able to afford to do this without nhs. Truly amazing.

ginandtonicformeplease · 13/07/2018 08:33

@LopeyLopez @HappyHedgehog247 @HJ82 (Sorry if I've forgotten anyone) I tested this morning, convinced that it had failed but it's a BFP!!!!! I'm still spotting so I'm going to ring the clinic when it opens at 9. Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement. I'm at work but I keep looking at the photo I took of the stick - pretty sure my output will be zero today! 🎉😁💃

Viletta · 13/07/2018 09:37

@ginandtonicformeplease congratulations on your bfp!! Hope all goes well!

I got full AF with clots so I’m definitely out.

Great to see BFPs in this thread! Gives hope for next cycle.

I was offered a self funded cycle through nhs but they basically asked same money than a private clinic whilst their success rates here are not great. So we went to a private one instead. Don’t have the money for next cycle.. will have to think where we can get it from.

cannonball8726 · 13/07/2018 11:15

@Viletta and @lopeylopez I'm sorry to hear your news :( You both sound so sensible and switched on. Recover well from this process and reenergise for your next attempt. I wish you both the very best FlowersFlowers

@ginandtonicformeplease congrats on your BFP! You're definitely allowed to not be able to concentrate on anything today :)

ginandtonicformeplease · 13/07/2018 11:19

Thanks @Viletta Really sorry to hear you're out. Trying to find the money is shit isn't it. NHS funding is such a postcode lottery.

I keep thinking I've read the test wrong - I'm not sure how that's possible but I'm worried that's what I've done. Off for bloods tomorrow just to give me peace of mind.