BFP after IVF: any other nervous ladies in need of a handhold?

[wombats]

I've had my BFP after our first FET and in a bit of a state analysing symptoms/lack of symptoms. Had two losses prior to starting IVF so really can't get my head round what might be normal or not. Clinic will scan me at six weeks, but that is two very long weeks away! Anyone else in a similar position? xxx

Lol, how interesting about being related! Pretty sure we are in the clear on that score, me being a fair, blue-eyed Yorkshire short-arse and him being tall, brown-eyed, olive-skinned and part-Scot, but I guess you never really know! I need to do some more research on what’s on offer in the North East - haven’t found much so far.

My grand plans of going on a three hour train journey tomorrow are out the window - made it into the office but had to come home at 3 as felt so awful. Feeling quite sorry for myself. Another 6 weeks of this is going to be very very hard. Normally I’m such an active person and I do lots of voluntary work helping other people with cycling, so I’m struggling with not being able to do any of that, but not even being able to sit at a desk and do the job I’m usually good at is extra frustrating. I wanted to cry most of the day at work as I just felt so sick. Bleugh, the things we go through eh.

Fab scan news, rational and Dame! Know what you mean about detachment, had my hopes up before and been gutted so hard to get too attached just yet.

Bruges, I've been having cramps today as well. Was worried yesterday as hadn't had any and now worried today as they're back 😂 Really feeling like a loon these days!

Anyone else have cramps that feel more like tugging/pulling/pressure? Almost feels like someone's tied a thread to the top of my womb and gently tugging at it?

Hello ladies, Can I join you? I am 5w5d and I think I am going insane! I am constantly wracked with anxiety. It culminated in waking up at 6am to go to the loo this morning and bursting into tears when I realised my boobs didn't hurt anymore, waking up my husband and promptly doing another pregnancy test. It was positive but still convinced it's residual hcg in my system...

I am also no longer tired, but they may be down to the cortisol flooding my system from the constant anxiety! Every time I go to the loo I am convinced I am going to see blood. I think the anxiety stems from the 2ww when I bled for almost a week and therefore was convinced it hadn't worked.

Wombats - I have had a sharp tugging sensation on and off on my lower right hand side but haven't felt it today but my AF-style period pains are back.... I keep reading that fluctuating symptoms are common in early pregnancy but I have also read it can be an early miscarriage sign so terrified. Never thought a BFP would feel like this

@Daisy1980a welcome daisy, sorry to hear your feeling so on edge 😩 my boobs only feel heave when I first wake up after that I have nothing all day, in fact I have very few symptoms. Could you ring your clinic and ask for a blood test? Xxx

Congratulations Daisy! Like Becky, I also found that every symptom I had came and went. Except for the ravenous hunger, the cravings and the food aversions, they’ve been pretty constant, but they didn’t kick in for a while.
Wombats, I also had a pulling feeling, I guess it’s the uterus stretching? Probably a good sign.
Rational, sorry to hear that work is too much, it must be so frustrating. I had these great plans for killing it at work to leave behind a good impression before maternity leave, and then I just disappeared from the office at week 7. But everyone has been so nice, even though I don’t have a good story about what’s wrong (yet).
Anyone else got hayfever? It’s driving me crazy and I can’t take my usual tablets as they aren’t safe.

daisy welcome! I have had 3 bleeds so far this pregnancy, but luckily all is still ok. But i get your anxiety. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do but wait & hope for a good outcome.
I am at home again today. On top of nausea also have a migraine. And my hip feels like its on fire! My boss knows whats going on, but i dont know what my colleagues must think. Hope i can drag myself to work tomorrow!

Hello Becky, Sylvie and Decaf,

I began spotting after my last post and my doctor sent me for an early scan this afternoon - not sure if I feel more reassured or not to be honest! They couldn't see a baby yet, just a yolk sac and a gestational sac. The sonographer said they see heartbeats in about 50 per cent of cases by now but the nurse in a separate meeting said she would expect to see a heartbeat by now. It is going to be a very long two weeks until my next scan!
The work situation isn't ideal but they sound like they are being very accommodating so hopefully that takes other stress off you. I hope you feel better soon. I still have stabbing pains in my right hand side which the nurse told me could be my bowel, where my uterus is stretching? Hadn't heard that one before

Hi daisy sorry to hear about your spotting but glad you got scanned quickly. Has the bleeding stopped now? I'm no expert but I thought the earliest a heartbeat could be seen reliably is 6 weeks and often it can be later than that. Hope you're taking it easy now. I've had the same sort of pain on left and right side, have IBS and does feel similar so can believe what your nurse said about bowel!

Hello Bruges, yes, bleeding has stopped but still have a niggling pain on the right hand side. Nurse also said it could be due to progesterone and I am on a lot of it. My right side feels quite tender to the touch as well.
I thought the same about the heartbeat at 6 weeks - and I am exactly six weeks so trying to feel positive but sometimes nurses and doctors do completely deject me.
Will I ever stop worrying about everything and anything! How are you doing?

@Daisy1980a I have pains on my right side to, it's bad if I get up to quickly. Also have a cough which isn't helping. Really tender every time I cough lol 😂 xxx

Hi daisy sorry to hear of your scare. Its very scary to have a bleed! But the seeing the sac is good, and i think 6w is quite early to see s heartbeat. My sonographer said she hates doing scans before 7-8 weeks as it isnt realiable and only adds to the stress. 🤞 you get good news soon. X

At my clinic they won’t scan before 7 weeks as they say that is the earliest that you can say a lack of heartbeat means something. So fingers crossed.

Welcome daisy sorry you’re having all this stress. Hope things settle down for you very soon. I had spotting early on too, then it went away for about 10 days and has just resurfaced today (6+3) so I’m feeling a bit anxious myself. Gonna see what the morning brings and call my clinic if need be. Just gotta hang in there hey!

My symptoms seem to fluctuate as other people have said - I’ve had days where my norks were on fire, and then others where they seem ok again - totally random. I’ve had some tugging as well. A few days ago it felt like someone was pulling a teeny tiny drawstring very low down and over to the right. It didn’t hurt but it was weird!

Dame I have hayfever normally but it doesn’t seem to have hit me much yet. I used to work in a pharmacy and at the time there were pregnant women being prescribed nasal sprays like beconase by their GP. Things might have changed, but I wouldn’t assume you can’t take anything at all. If it’s really bothering you it’s definitely worth checking.

decaf so sorry you have a migraine on top of everything else, you poor think. Sending you big hugs, hope you get some good rest tonight and feel much better tomorrow

AFM I slept for 11 hours last night and I have felt slightly less awful today. Managed to do a walk at lunchtime and a walk after work. I’ve tried to have smaller meals and snacks in between. Still really struggling with the nausea and found it hard to concentrate on my work, but I haven’t cried so far today so that’s progress!

Welcome daisy, sorry you're suffering so much anxiety. It's so frustrating that we can't just enjoy our BFPs! I agree about the scan. I've spoken with a sonographer friend who told me that it's unusual to see a HB under six weeks, so seeing a yolk is good, as it shows the pregnancy is in the womb and not ectopic, so your pain is probably just womb stretching or bowels. I had a similar scan at 5+4, clinic wants to wait until I'm over 7 to repeat as no heartbeat then would indicate pregnancy not growing. When is your next scan?

Rational The tugging is so weird, never had it before! Small meals seem to help me quite a bit with nausea, hope you can get another proper rest tonight.

Becky I'm tender when coughing and sneezing too, bloody hayfever! Still a bit worried I'll sneeze the baby our but I reckon that's not actually possible

Decaf hope your migraine is better and that the bleeding has stayed away today.

Dame, reassuring your symptoms have been on and off too. I've had the massive appetite, too. Woke up last night around 3:00 for a wee and had was so hungry it hurt! Actually kept me up and had to have a snack.

AFM, feeling less knackered than last week and not had much cramping or tugging today. Felt alright after breakfast but my train came to a sudden stop and I almost got sick! Was nauseous for the rest of the morning. But then massive appetite returned and been eating all afternoon and dinner. Also having loads of discharge and keep running to the loo for knicker watch. Can't believe how far away next week's scan feels...xxx

Argh, more spotting. Called the clinic and waiting for callback. Feeling sick on top of sick 🤢 Still had to chuckle about “knickerwatch” wombats, I’m so there! Hope everyone else is having a calmer day.

Unfortunately where I live (not UK) GPs and pharmacists refuse to describe anything as safe for pregnant women, only gynaecologists are prepared to prescribe or advise, but I won’t see mine until May. Also there are very few over the counter medications.
Wombats, someone gave me the tip of drinking a glass of milk when you wake up in the night as eating might wake you up too much or give you heartburn. It’s worked quite well for me as I have horrible heartburn but don’t know if that’s a concern for you. On the other hand, I was quite enjoying a couple of digestives in the middle of the night.

Hope they can offer you a scan, Rational

Dame how frustrating for you. Hayfever can be really miserable. In terms of non-drug remedies, wearing close-fitting sunglasses can help. Even if your eyes aren’t the worst bit, they affect your nose and throat as well as it’s all connected. Saline eye drops or nasal drops might help flush out pollen or soothe a little. And I know some people swear by putting a bit of Vaseline around the opening of their nostrils to help trap pollen. Also staying indoors in the period before dusk when the temperature drops as this is when a lot of pollen drops too.

Hope some of these ideas might help you.

Still waiting for my callback. Am in a meeting now so if I haven’t heard by the time that ends I will call them again I think. Feel a bit stupid as it really isn’t much blood, but they do say to call if anything changes so it seemed like the right thing to do.

Update: clinic called back and said not to worry for now, but to ring them if the bleeding changes or I get pain. Glad I don’t have to zip up the motorway for another scan tbh. Trying to chill and remember that if something bad is going to happen it will happen and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m due to tell my mum about the pregnancy tonight (she’s coming to stay for the weekend and I want to manage her expectations about having a busy, active weekend) and she has been so desperate for a grandchild for....well pretty much forever, so this is a massive thing for her. In a way I don’t want to tell her in case things go wrong, but there’s no way I can conceal from her how lousy I’m feeling so I am just going to have to be honest. She’s a massive worrier so I definitely won’t tell her about the spotting issues, but will just say it’s early days etc. Gawd it just feels like so much is riding on this. My partner and I both lost grandparents this last year so it’s been tough for our families, and my poor remaining Nan is really struggling, so I desperately want to give them all some hope and joy. Come on little bean, hang in there!

becky - hope your cough eases up, worked out my right hand side pains were definitely bowel related as have been really constipated but sorted it with a big bag of dried apricots and some orange juice. Sorry - very tmi!

Rational - sorry to hear the spotting is back. Is it brown or red? I do think if the clinic aren't worried then try to relax but I am far from that most of the time! I told my mum about the pregnancy as soon as I got my beta back. She knew step by step my IVF process so she would have guessed. I am trying to manage her expectations more than mine! I completely understand re: wanting to give your family some good news. My family have had an awful time of it in the last few years and I am the only sibling likely to have a baby so feeling the pressure too. Telling your mum and having someone else to talk to may help - it has done with me although at the beginning my mum didn't really understand about the fertility issues but then she did have children a full ten years before me!

Dame - I have hayfever too - but not yet thank goodness. I have just bought a nasal spray in preparation

Wombats - my next scan isn't for two weeks. Seems such a long way off but at least by that point I will know exactly if everything is as it should be. Yes, think you're all right about not worrying at this point re: no heartbeat. I have felt horribly nauseous all day and have had to force down my breakfast and lunch, so taking this as another sign things are progressing. Never thought I would be happy to be dry retching! How many weeks are you now?

rational sorry to hear of your rough day. But feeling nauseous is a good sign! Thats what helps me cling on to hope.
dame hayfever is so draining on top of regular nausea as well. Some good suggestions on thread though, hope some of them work for you.
I managed to make it through a day of work today - yeah! Tomorrow though have a 3hr car journey to in-laws. Dreading it. Unfortunately can’t get out of it as its nephew’s first b’day and my SIL is supremely touchy. Me skipping it would probably result in decade long family feud. Going to try the acupuncture bands - did someone on here try them? rational perhaps?

@Daisy1980a cough is ok during the day and then terrible at night. Woke up at 2.30am and had to get a shower to release some of the congestion. It's strange I'm absolutely fine during the day!!!! Felt a bit more positive today and even let myself look in the baby section of the aegis catalogue xxx

Daisy glad your constipation is better - I’ve been so lucky all my life in that department but since I started on progesterone it has been quite bad at times and it can really make you feel so ill. No such thing as TMI on here!

My spotting has all been brown. Yeah I’m trying to chill - it’s out of my hands and I know the chances are it’s fine so just gotta hang in there. And try to be grateful for my nausea, of course!

decaf yes I’ve got the acupressure bands, I got them from boots. I think they are helping slightly (def not a miracle but maybe taking the edge off) but if you do get them I suggest not wearing them for too long at once as you get quite bruised wrists. Worth a pop though I reckon. Do your in-laws know yet? Hope your visit is ok and you can maybe have a sleep on the journey.

becky that cough sounds rubbish, I do hope you feel much better soon. Glad you are feeling more positive.

AFM I was desperately craving mozzarella earlier and thought it would be on the list of yummy things I can’t eat, but I checked and it is fine as long as pasteurised. Been to Tesco and bought a ball and munched it with a load of salad (cancels out the fat you know) for a few heavenly minutes

Mmmmm mozzarella....
I am feeling so much better after stopping the pessaries (I think it’s that rather than being in the second trimester because so many things just stopped overnight). Best of all, the premenstrual feeling of doom is completely gone and my digestive system is suddenly back to its old self.
Rational, hope your clinic called you back and that the spotting stopped!
I’m off to try another half day at work. Have a good Friday everyone!