BFP after IVF: any other nervous ladies in need of a handhold?

[wombats]

I've had my BFP after our first FET and in a bit of a state analysing symptoms/lack of symptoms. Had two losses prior to starting IVF so really can't get my head round what might be normal or not. Clinic will scan me at six weeks, but that is two very long weeks away! Anyone else in a similar position? xxx

Congrats @SouthernBella73, @PonyPals. Great to see all is going well for you after chatting on the April/May Cycle buddies thread. Congrats to you too @Barcelo18.

I have also had my scan at 7 weeks, and we were able to see the embryo, yolk sac, and heartbeat. We were even able to hear the heartbeat through the internal monitor (I had no idea it could be picked up this early). I felt very teary when I saw the heartbeat - I was really nervous going in and had started to convince myself that it wasn't really there or there was going to be a problem, but the measurements are all fine and things are looking good.

Next step is to see the midwife - but I can't get an appointment for a month! Glad I've been able to have the scan via the clinic or I'd be really stressing out by then!

Hi ladies, I hope you’re all well. I've just posted the following over in the pregnancy boards but thought I’d post here too as I know you're all in the same boat. I'm 10 weeks pregnant after a FET back in April. I already have a 2 year old DD who was also conceived from a FET.

I seem to be so much more anxious this time than I was with my first. I just can't shake the feeling that something is not right. I had an early scan at 6+4 and we saw a heartbeat, so back then everything was going ok. I had the usual sore boobs, sore nipples, felt nauseous on and off, but for the last week or so it all seems to have stopped. This isn't helping my anxieties.

I've not had my booking appointment yet as I couldn't get an appt until next Wednesday, when I'll be nearly 11 weeks. I can't believe how slowly time is dragging this time round - I don't remember it being this bad with my DD.

I spoke with EPAU this morning but obviously if there's been no pain or bleeding then they won't see you, which I understand. Don't really know what I expected them to say really - guess I had hoped it would make me feel better speaking to someone. How can I try and stay calm and not feel as anxious? Sorry for my rambling!

Hi all. I am 6 weeks tomorrow and got my bfp through IVF. I have a scan booked for 10 days time and it seems like an eternity

I keep convincing myself it's all going to go wrong. I keep getting cramps and twinges which I know is perfectly normal, but because I am on cyclogest I don't have the (for want of a better word) knowledge of not bleeding. I don't know if I can take 10 more days of this.

Hi Grimbles and eclairf.

I am 6+4 today and have been in the same boat as you, Grimbles. My clinic won't scan before 7 weeks and my scan was booked for next Thurs. Last Friday I had some bleeding and over the weekend we were really anxious. We couldn't decide whether to pay for a private scan before next week as were worried it might be inconclusive and that would be even worse than not knowing. However, we did book one and I had it this morning and we saw a heartbeat so are now feeling much less anxious about having had some bleeding. Hopefully the scan next week will also be ok, and then I'm planning to book a Harmony test for 10 weeks, which comes with scan, and then will have the usual one at 12 weeks or thereabouts. I'm hoping I'll be able to get from scan to scan without too much anxiety now.

@1Wanda1 great news about your scan today. I'm really pleased for you

@Grimbles and @eclairef it is so so tough. I totally freaked out and went to the EPU at 6 weeks. I had had cramping but I think my GP mostly sent me because I cried copious tears in his surgery!!! I have no advice on how to get through...it's just one day at a time and it is really hard

We had our follow up scan at the EPU today. All good. We are 9 weeks and the baby is measuring exactly that. Big relief after 7 week scan. Heart beat fine. Saw the 3D images. Really good day

Xxx

Hi Gimbles I am just a little behind you at 5.1. It's so stressful and still have 11 days until first scan! Was having cramps too but they have suddenly stopped and haven't felt much at all these last two days. Has this happened to anyone else?
Great news about the scans 1Wanda1 Janefx
xx

@Janefx40 what a relief for you and what lovely news!

@Yorkshirelass27 I had some cramps around 5 weeks, but they stopped.

I've had the weirdest feeling recently, like my uterus is rounded and hardened. I don't think I'm describing it well, out just feels so weird.

@Janefx40 what a relieve after everything you have been through!
Congratulations @1Wanda1 lovely to hear

Yorkshirelass I found that I had cramps in the very early stages but they dropped off around 5 weeks and I haven't had any cramps since then. Likewise the boob aches/twinges. My only symptoms are fairly unrelenting nausea and tiredness now (7 weeks). How long till your scan? I found the scan we had last week quite reassuring.

Can someone tell me what happens at the midwife booking in appointment? I struggled even to get an appointment as they could only offer me one on a day I have to be away doing a course for work. Anyway they managed to find another slot in the end. DW wants to know whether she should come along. I am assuming it's going to be fairly administrative and boring but wouldn't want her to miss out on anything.

@1Wanda1 I had my booking appointment on Friday. She did ask why DP hadn't come but he really didn't need to plus it's a long way for him to travel from work. So I guess it's either or.

They take a LOT of medical and emotional history information (mostly on your side but some on your partner's so that may be relevant to her). They take some blood and talk you through your follow up appointments. They didn't talk to me at this stage about birth options or anything.

I've been put down for consultant led care because I had fibroids/ovarian cysts plus a few other bits and bobs so she had to book in tons of scans and appts.

It was long (2 hours) but quite nice to imagine that this might actually turn into a real baby! X

Wanda, as I think you said (maybe on another thread) that you did ROPA, they will need your history for the pregnancy and birth and your DW‘s for anything to look out for with the baby. We didn’t do ROPA so I wasn’t relevant for that with DD but we still found it useful to both have any information directly rather than second hand as there is so much and you never remember it all. On the big day, she’ll probably be the one taking care of a lot of stuff so that you don’t have to.

@1Wanda1 the midwife booking in appointment is basically just filling in loads of questions about your medical history, personal situation, etc. If your DW wants to come to meet the midwife and be able to ask questions then go for it, but it won't be a big deal if she misses it, and if she has limited time off work and has to choose which appointments she can make it to, she might be better off waiting till a later appointment where they listen for the heartbeat which would be much more exciting. There is a lot of information but you'll see a midwife again plenty of times so don't worry about having to remember everything. My DH didn't come to mine on my first pregnancy, and it didn't matter. They will try to get you separately from your partner anyway at some point so they can ask you about domestic violence - so don't be freaked out when that happens, as it's a requirement for them to ask.

But as DameSylvie said, if you did ROPA they will need to know about your DW's family medical history for any hereditary conditions that could affect the baby, so if she can't come, make sure you know any relevant family history on her side.

Thank you 1Wanda1 and Janefx40. I've managed to book a private scan for tomorrow - I'll be 10+5. I'm just praying that everything is ok. I'm having no symptoms at all so I'm terrified of the outcome.

Grimbles and Yorkshirelass27 it's so tough waiting for that first scan after treatment. If you've had no bleeding (I had a small bleed at 4 weeks and another at 6+3 before my early scan) hopefully things are ok.

As if it's not hard enough waiting to get pregnant, all the waiting for reassurance when you are pregnant is just as and if not more, stressful!

Thanks for the reassurance Si1ver 1Wanda1 and eclairef, the waiting is horrible. Getting the odd cramp, no bleeding. I keep convincing myself it hasn't worked! My first scan is a week today.
Do you book your booking appointment through your GP?
Good luck to all who have scans coming up x

Gosh booking in appointment sounds like a long one! I will try to take DW along with me. It's quite an odd thing being pregnant with a baby to which I have no genetic link. Thinking about this in the context of the booking in appointment has made me think ahead to when we start telling people about the pregnancy, and how to deal with questions. I expect that some people will be quite blunt in wanting to know did we use a sperm donor or someone we know, for example (we used a donor). But then the point about having used DW's eggs is something that if we don't tell people, will only become clear when the baby is born (DW is a different ethnicity to me). Or maybe not even then, because we could have chosen a donor of that ethnicity (though we didn't).

I don't know how to deal with these kind of questions. Damesylviekrin what has your experience been like on this front?

eclairef I hope your scan today gives you comfort.

@1Wanda1 on a completely unrelated note, I keep thinking of you every time the World Cup is on because there are all these signs saying Wanda everywhere...clearly one of the main sponsors!

It is hard to know what to tell people but of course you don't have to tell them anything at all. So what if they wonder?

Of course you may want to tell people something. But I think it is always empowering in life to realise you don't HAVE to

Xxx

Eclairf - as I am on cyclogest that could prevent any bleeding which makes me all the more nervous!

Hi ladies, I hope everyone is doing well. 🌟

@Janefx40, @DameSylvieKrin and @rainylake, thanks for the information about the booking in appointment. I’m still waiting to get my appointment and I’m 9w5d today. But feeling kind of relaxed about it all. Have the Harmony Test booked in any case.

Still struggling with waves of nausea and occasional sickness, so hopefully that’s a good sign. Will stop 2 of my progesterone meds on Friday, and can’t wait! 🙌

Good luck to those with upcoming scans. 🍀

@SouthernBella74 I stopped progesterone today. Feels a bit weird to not have to remember it but nice finally to be off all the drugs. I'm hoping that not being on it might help my ovaries finally go back to normal as they still feel tender if I try running or anything. Also really struggling with fatigue so maybe it will help with that too. I've also booked the Harmony test but I have a couple of weeks to go before I can have it.

I think because the booking appointment goes on so long it can be hard to get a slot as I guess they have to find several free midwife appointments back to back. Couldn't get mine till I'm 11 weeks.

@1wanda1, far fewer people than I expected have asked questions about the baby’s genes. Our DD looks exactly like my DW if she had my hair and (very unusual) eye colour so I expected more questions. Many people make remarks showing that they are assuming that we are both the genetic parents, so they really aren’t overthinking it.
We decided that we want the children to decide who knows their ‘story’ so that was our planned answer if people had asked but we haven’t had to use it yet. We’re looking forward to the three and four year olds telling their version.
The only intrusivish questions have been from queer friends, and as that’s probably from a perspective of how can I do that myself, I’ve let it go.

Unfortunately I’m not having the best time as yesterday purely by chance at a scan for something else I was diagnosed with Vasa Previa, which is dangerous for me and the baby and fatal if labour is allowed to start. I’m supposed to be within 20 minutes of a hospital at all times for the rest of the pregnancy. I wasn’t actually checked for this, but all IVF pregnancies should be because the risk is many times higher for us. Ladies, please ask the sonographer to look for this specifically at your 20 week scan! It needs to be one of those scans where you see the vessels in red and blue and they should probably scan vaginally to be sure. If diagnosed before labour, the survival rate for the baby is practically 100%.

That's really interesting @DameSylvieKrin, obviously rubbish that you have it, but I've never heard of it so it's something else to ask about.

I have my booking in appointment tomorrow which will have me at 8+5. My nausea has died down, I'm feeling a bit better, although still fat and bloated and tired. The bloating never really went down from the IVF meds. I feel super unattractive and too tired to exercise and make myself feel better. Even an hour's walk with the dog has me needing to lie down and nap and have a snack.

@DameSylvieKrin I'm so glad they have diagnosed this early enough to prevent anything bad happening but it must be worrying all the same. Is it possible for you to be so near the hospital? Hope you are ok.

@Si1ver I think you're doing pretty well to walk an hour! I'm so exhausted I can barely walk around the house!!!

Good luck to all of you stopping progesterone now or soon! I'm stuck with it until 12 weeks.

Have my Harmony tonight. More nervous about the scan - is the baby still there?!! Am also worried about the results given my ancient age of 41 but we won't get those for about a week so that is something to worry about next week instead!! Hooray the worry never ends x

@Si1ver sorry you're feeling rubbish, though I am reassured to know that it's not just me who's still experiencing post-IVF bloating. I was starting to think that maybe there was something wrong with me because the doctors had all said breezily 'oh it might take a couple of weeks', but it's now 6 weeks after egg collection and I still look bloated and feel tender. I did do some exercise yesterday but it backfired as I was then so tired that I fell asleep in the afternoon and woke up feeling awful.

Had a horrific dream last night that I was miscarrying and there was blood everywhere. Think it was a combination of anxiety about stopping the progesterone and having watched the Handmaid's Tale a few days ago. Was quite scared to go to the toilet when I woke up in case it was true.

@DameSilvieKrin sorry to hear you have that - must be quite scary, but at least they've diagnosed it so hopefully you and the baby won't be in any danger as they can make sure that you are monitored and well cared for. Thank you for the information - it's good to know about the extra things we ought to be aware about it. I'd heard of placenta previa because someone I knew had that, but never heard of vasa previa.

@Janefx40 I'm on it until 12 weeks as well. It's so waxy and unpleasant. But anything that makes this stick I guess.

@rainylake that sounds like a horrible dream. Someone said to me that miscarriage robs you of your innocence when it comes to pregnancy. You never 100% relax. I'm getting less anxious, but I've still convinced myself that something's gone wrong since the last scan.

I'm glad to hear other people have been struggling with exercise.

In slightly nicer news my husband seems to have totally relaxed into the pregnancy and is being super protective of me. He's so excited about finally being a Dad. 😍

@Janefx40 Luckily I won’t have too many problems with the distance as I live in a big city with a lot of hospitals so if I don’t leave the city I‘ll always be within the right distance. I didn’t even think until now that it could be really crappy for someone living rurally.