IVF/ICSI (2) - A supportive group of ladies at various stages of the ivf/icsi journey

[Starlumiere]

Here is the next thread lovelies!

Thanks for your great wishes everyone - it was BFN. It’s ok though. I had a gut feeling so I don’t feel like it’s too much of a shock. Will ring the clinic later and let them know and see what the next steps are.

I’m very lucky that I have 7 frozen blasts waiting for me so I still have a few chances x

Oh elly I’m sorry it hasn’t worked for you, it’s good that you are positive about going forward though. Take care of yourself and now you can really enjoy your holiday!!

hoppy how are you?

Xx

@Elly1685 oh no! I'm sorry. You sound very philosophical about it. It is a great position to have 7 Frosties as you say. We're here if you feel sad at any point

LA here you come!

X

jane how you doing? Xx

@Liverpool19 I'm ok. Obviously it's hard not to dream of a positive result but I am trying to be realistic. I only have a 5% chance of this working but I'm glad we decided to do the transfer anyway. I felt a bit cheated when I thought I was walking away with one frostie and no transfer. The embryologist was pretty clear that the transfer was just for my own peace of mind and I think it was the right decision. I would always have wondered if we hadn't tried.

After the journey we've been on, tho, I'm afraid I don't believe in miracles any more, or good luck - just science.

So today I'm ok but I'll probably getting madder throughout the week as we get closer to test day!

Elly, I'm so sorry. Good you're feeling philosophical about it and it is good to know you have so many frozen. Take care of yourself.

Hi all. I've been in hiding for a while following our first ICSI failure so I am slowly catching up on this thread and others. Sorry to hear of all the sad times and fingers crossed for all.

We are just about to start our second cycle and I need some worldly IVF advice. Some stats about us:
Age 42 (partner 56)
Failed cycle of ICSI in March - short protocol (16 follies,10 eggs collected, 8 fertilised, 4 embryos, only 1 made it to transfer)
AMH: 10.7
Good FSH/LH approx. 6 each
Partner: low count and motility.

So after poor treatment from our last clinic we are trying another clinic The new consultant is keen to put me on a long protocol as its a different approach to the first cycle. I am not so keen as I don't really see the benefit especially considering last time a great number of eggs were retrieved considering my age. I would rather pump fewer drugs into my system. I would rather put something different into the mix - endo scratch and possible embryo glue.

So here is my dilemma... my partner is based overseas and therefore, being with me at the appropriate time requires a bit of coordination. I am keen to start the next cycle as am extremely conscious of my age. With every month that passes I feel the chance of having a child slipping away. Day 21 of my cycle is Tuesday (for the endo scratch). Unfortunately at egg collection time my partner is away and cannot possibly be with me. The clinic have suggested freezing his sperm. We have issues with this as we are concerned as is sperm is poor quality already how much the freezing/thawing process will further deteriorate his sperm. Plus our previous clinic refused to freeze due to my concerns above.

We either go with a sperm freeze and start asap or wait for another month for a fresh cycle. Waiting means that we are more prepared. We currently feel a bit pressured into starting asap. We can work more on healthy diets, exercise, mental preparation etc. However, to me it means another month of waiting, hoping, feeling disheartened that this will never happen.

Sorry that was a bit rambling. Any advice is much appreciated.

Do you know what? I’m actually feeling quite calm about it all. It was our first go and I knew that getting that elusive BFP on a first go was rare. I know my thinking might change the more failed cycles that might occur but for now I’m trying to stay positive. I had a nice glass of wine in the sunshine today and definitely looking forward to LA now! The holiday diet and detox needs to begin!

@hopingforutopia you’ve got to go with your gut feeling and if you feel waiting might make you feel more prepared then go with that. But if waiting another month is going to stress you out then you also need to consider the impact of that stress. Sorry that isn’t much help is it? I have just tested this morning from my first fresh transfer and it was BFN. I’m quite calm and ‘ok’ with it but I am thinking I should have done more, healthier eating, lose weight, exercise etc but then it’s easy to say that now in hindsight and Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference either way! This ivf game is so tough x

X

Hi!
@elly1685, really sorry to hear about BFN. Don’t feel bad about what you could have done differently, it’s so easy to look back at things in hidsight but realistically it probably wouldn’t have affected the outcome. I hope you get a good result with your frosties, 7 is a fab number! Fingers crossed one will stick.

@hopingforutopia1, i’d go with what you feel is the best option for you and not let you’re clinic pressure you into starting early if you feel you’re not ready. That said I totally get not wanting to prolong things another month.

@Hoppy1985 I hope you are doing ok

Sorry to jump in on another tangent but I was wondering if anyone had experience of having a FET where they had very infrequent or no periods. I’m starting to fret a bit as supposed to be having FET in June but my cycle seems to have gone quite funny, 8 days late so far with zero indication that I’ll bleed and I’ve never been this late before. I’ve not had a proper unmedicated period since Dec last year when we started ICSI so it’s not entirely surprising. But I’m worrying it will delay my FET even more which I desperately don’t want when I’m already on a 3 months enforced wait.

Defiantly jane you’d of always had in the back of your mind what would of happened if you didn’t do the transfer. Although I’m still hoping you get the shock of your life when you test 😂

hoping go for what you feel is best for you, as others have said don’t let the hospital pressure you into doing something you are not ready for!

tiger I am unable to help with your question, I don’t have any knowledge/experience with FET.

Xx

@Liverpool19 thanks! I'm hoping for that too...

@Tigerlily99 I'm sorry I can't help with FETs at all. My period took 60 days to come post IVF/ISCI 1. We started round 2 after that so I've no idea how long it would have taken otherwise.

@hopingforutopia1 I totally get the worry about time. I am 41 and have basically been in a panic about it since I hit 35 (tho I was single at the time so not even TTC!). Every month that passes makes me panic more - I was gutted when they recommended freeze all on this cycle for that same reason - an 8 week delay! Now if this cycle fails we have to wait at least 2 more! But I'm coming to realise this just takes as long as it takes. And although a month seems loads to us, actually, in the scheme of things, it is no time at all. I'm not going to be a young Mum whether it happens this time or in 2 months time. Your AMH is fantastic - that's a good start. If you don't think his frozen sperm will give you the best shot, trust your instincts. One month wait now is less than 2 months wait if this cycle fails. On the other hand if you feel you want to go for it, do it. As I said earlier, this is all about making decisions you can live with - which one will give you greater peace of mind.

Sorry - an essay

@Elly1685 so glad you are feeling ok. You're amazing! Xx

Hi. I hope I can join you all. I'm 34 and have been TTC for 3 years but failed due to PCOS and endometriosis many drugs and an operation and all I have to show for it is 3 lap site scars and 4 positive ovulation tests.

Anyway, I'm on the pill to regulate my periods. Due to stop 17th May then I will start a short protocol once I start my bleed. I'm so scared and just really want to find some people going through the same thing at the same time.

Hi @FairySweetness welcome. I totally get feeling scared. I can remember having a whole phase of "I don't want to do IVF, this isn't how I want to have my baby" then a whole phase of "it's too much, too scary" and actually on the day we were due to start "this just feels all wrong instinctively" (oh and when I saw the video of how to do the injections, i said (and meant) "nope, definitely not doing that".)

IVF seems really scary from the outside - it's a lot less scary from the inside. The amazing part of it is that after struggling to conceive, arguing or pushing GPs to do tests etc, you have now arrived at the place that can actually help you!!

The women on here will help you get used to it. Injections are fine - seriously. Procedures are fine (I've developed a bit of a taste for the anaesthetic). The hardest bit can be the hope and, if you don't get lucky first time, the disappointment BUT that isn't hugely different from the disappointment you may have felt every month for the past 3 years.

I was previously on the Mumsnet infertility boards where month after month we all struck out and got our periods - it felt like none of us ever got pregnant so Hope was lacking a bit. When I switched to IVF boards I found that people on here are getting pregnant - regularly. There are no guarantees and I've not had an easy run yet but IVF actually works

Xxx

Welcome fairysweetness couldn’t agree more with every jane has said. IVF when you are told you need it is terrifying, I to like jane was like “no I’m not doing it, don’t dare come near me with anymore tests, don’t be prodding me anymore I am done” fast forward and bit and here I am 10 weeks pregnant off my very first cycle and I truly am very,very lucky.
I feel my cycle was easy compared to other girls on here (apart from the TWW)
I like you, have a couple of lap scars but all’s they could tell me was that both my tubes are blocked and they have no reason why 🤷🏼‍♀️ Which to this very day still baffles me.
Injections are really easy don’t be worrying over them once the first one goes in everyone after that is easier! Goodluck in your journey and there’s lots of lovely people on here that will get you through. Xx

Hey fairysweetness, the whole IVF thing can feel daunting but to be honest it really isn't all that bad. I too had built it up to be some great big mountain we had to climb but in reality, the drugs were fine/no side effects - I have a massive phobia of needles and somehow managed to overcome it. I adopted the mind over matter approach. I need to do this to have a child and that seemed to work. The wise sages of mumsnet are here to advise or just hold your hand throughout the journey.

jane, liverpool and tiger, the clinic aren't pressuring me at all regarding a start date. I am pressuring myself as I am very conscious of my age and running out of time. 4 weeks to me seems like 4 years. My partner is a bit more laid back but he already has two children so is of the opinion "it will happen at some point". I really don't know which is the best approach: to wait until we can have a fresh sperm cycle or forge ahead with frozen... It doesn't help that I am very impatient and want things yesterday. The consultant does seem to be pushing the long protocol and I really can't see the benefits of this. Any advice?

jane not an essay! Your words are much appreciated and we are thinking along the same lines. The first cycle failed on 9 March. If we go for the fresh swimmers approach then it will be 4 months (3 periods) since that cycle. I have to say that my first period was spot on time. I withdrew from the cyclogest and immediately had a bleed. The second cycle was about a week late. I am usually very regular so this freaked me out a bit. Perhaps I need to go through another period to make sure things are back to "normal"?

Hi @fairsweetness & welcome. I didn’t find the short protocol nearly as bad as I was expecting. I think it was fear of the unknown haven’t not being through it before which I found difficult initially. You do get used to the injections and gazillion scans quite quickly though!

@hopingforutopia, the not wanting to wait I totally get. It’s hard to weigh up just wanting to get on with it versus wanting to be sure your body is in the right place. For me it looks like I might not get to start my FET now until end of June/ July and I’m already thinking how can I convince the clinic to start end of May (1 week earlier than the 3 month to treatment period). It’s onlg a week after all!

Thank you all for responses about my query, appreciate not everyone has experience in FET so it was a hard question to answer. As it turns out AF started today so it’s all a moot point! I’m am so embarrassed for getting myself worked up about nothing...

@fairy - everything everyone has said, I completely agree with. The thought of ivf terrified me. But now I’m going through the process it’s much easier to deal with, you just take each day or each step in the process as it comes.

I rang the clinic on Saturday with my test results. They are organising an appointment for me to meet with the doctor to discuss FET and whether it will be a stimulated or non-stimulated cycle. Has anyone had a stimulated cycle? Is this just meds to bring on AF? Or other meds involved too?

@elly1685, I think they mean natural versus medicated FET. Ive been looking into this myself! I was told about the two a few weeks back but only concentrated on the natural as that was what we thought we were having. natural is where they track your cycle for natural ovulation and then time embryo transfer accordingly. I think exact protocol varies from clinic to clinic, but generally involves you doing OPKs yourself to look for LH surge and regular scans from clinic tracking the dominant follicle. Generally no drugs but occasionally they will give a hcg trigger particularly if they want to time the transfer for a certain date (eg. if your clinic doesn’t do transfers at weekend). From what I’ve heard from others, the natural is much nicer as no drugs but it can lead to higher cancellations of cycle as it is dependant on you ovulating naturally. I’m probably going to ask for medicated as my cycle is not regular at the moment. I think again, protocol can really vary but it’s generally much longer. The one I’ve read about the most, you down reg for about 2 weeks , check a blood test part way through that and add oestrogen tabs. You then have a scan to check lining has thickened up with the oestrogen tabs and if all ok the start progesterone pessary with a date for transfer booked a few days after. So in summary natural seems to be much shorter with most activity in the 1-2 weeks before you would ovulate but with more intensive/ frequent scanning over a short period of time and less flexibility on timings of appts/ transfer. Medicated is much longer, I think 6-8 weeks? With drugs involved but less intensive with monitoring and a bit more flexibility for timings of scan/ transfer etc.

sorry for the essay but I’ve been researching this myself for my own knowledge. I haven’t actually had a FET yet but I’ll know more about what is planned next week when I have the coordination appointment. X

@Liverpool19 I'm ok thanks. Had confirmation scan Friday showing no signs of pregnancy and have finally seemed to stop bleeding.

But the realisation has hit about how long it is going to take to do it all over again. Last time testing the embryo's took 3 months on it's own so I'm feeling pretty deflated. Waiting to hear from the clinic about when is the earliest they advise to start again 😔

Thanks @tigerlily! That post was really helpful. I will probably be a medicated cycle as I have only ever had 1 natural cycle my whole life! Joys of PCOS! I’ve been put on metformin since I started the IVF process (which is horrible as it makes me feel horrendous) is anyone else taking this?

Hi ladies

Sorry haven't popped in for a bit. I am really struggling with the wait before the scan. I'm on crinone still. I have sore/big boobs and on and off cramping and that's it symptom wise. Really panicking something isn't going well. I just want to be sick even just once. To top it off I have to go to the scan on my own as partner cannot get the time off work.

@Elly1685 I am sorry to hear about your bfn. You seem to be dealing with the news well and planning for your next cycle and holiday I hope helps. I went to LA and did a driving tour of the west coast for my honeymoon last year. I highly recommend the Malibu wine safari. I loved Sandra Barbara I would love to live there. The Harry Potter ride is awesome try and go on it first as it gets really busy. I think of you download the universal app you can keep updated with the ride waiting times while you are there. Also valet parking is not much dearer then normal parking and so worth the extra. We used valet parking all over La it was free, easy to park and you just had to tip.

@Hoppy1985 I'm really sorry to hear about news too. I hope you have lots of support at home xxx

Oh hoppy hopefully things don’t take as long this time!

winnie I’ve not been sick once I’ve just gone off a lot of food. Chicken being the main one 🤮 a couple of my friends didn’t have any morning sickness either. So don’t worry. When is your scan again?

jane you ok? X

Sorry elly I cant help you Ive never taken that x

@Liverpool19 thank you. Just been chatting to my friend and she didn't get any sickness until a week before 12 week scan. I just feel far too normal. I expected that when I did fall pregnant I would just know. If I hadn't done a test I wouldn't of guessed by going on how I feel. I need to stop worrying. How are you feeling?

Hi ladies.

@Winnie56 I can imagine you feel anxious. I think we would all feel anxious waiting for the scan. But as other have said, plenty of people get no symptoms. Are you on that group for IVFers who have got a BFP? Sounds like there might be words of wisdom on there.

@Liverpool19 how are things with you? When is the moving date?

I'm ok. I think we may have found a house to buy which is really exciting. Now we just need to see if they'll compromise on price!!!
I'm worried about how I'll feel on Saturday if I don't get a positive. However much I tell myself my chances are slim, really I am just dreaming of it working - of course. I was planning on testing early to "manage my expectations" but not going to now. I'm in no hurry for this 2WW to end especially if it's going to be a negative.

Ah it's a tricky game this IVF isn't it.

X