Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten

[Jamon]

Hi all. We're a group of first timers who've been plugging away on the conception boards for some time. The support here is amazing so if you're in a similar boat please jump onboard.

Time to hand hold through treatments and support each other through to becoming the mums we deserve to be 💪🏼🌸🙏🏼

Oh congrats on 12 dpo! I've only seen that for the last 2 cycles, but I'm not sure if it counts when you spot from 7 dpo...

In some ways I'm quite looking forward to battery of tests as I'd like to know what the hell is going on with my body!

When have you got your test over? I also spot from 7/8dpo it’s awful-I still google implantation bleeding like an idiot every other month 🤦‍♀️

I’ve had the first basic bloods and next will be scans and I’m weirdly excited too! My oh has 0% morph so I reckon he will need at least another 1 test before the consultant gives us a suggestion of keep shagging or you’ve got no chance and we need to do ivf.

winging good on you girl! You never know which is always the positive thought 🤞great on the luteal phase!

Well plane I really wanted to start the ball rolling in the next month or so, gynaecologist had already recommended to GP that we be referred now to the fertility clinic but DH is reluctant. I don't think he wants to accept that there might be anything wrong, other than me already only having one tube. He thinks we should wait until January, even though I've said I'm not sure how I'll feel about reaching due date for the second time with nothing.

Me too! Every month that it starts or stops and starts again I think 'ooooo this might be it'! The realise I'm being a fool.

I feel quite guilty, I've stopped bothering even taking folic acid. I know that's an awful thing to admit but I can't imagine getting pregnant so it seems a waste of time especially as it often makes me a bit constipated

That’s hard over would presenting him with facts on your chances each month help? Although I’m sure you’ve already done that.... my oh is very fact and numbers driven although I had a bit of go at him for not really researching his own results... he’s very laid back, which in some ways is great but he’s waiting for the consultant to say yay or nay really which I hope bizarrely is a yay we need ivf.... at least I can focus on that. Have you ever had any reasons given to you for the spotting? I’ve never been told it’s abnormal by the gp so will be good to hear my consultants opinion.

Folic acid I take during shag week and up until I start spotting although hands up to not taking it regularly at all. I wouldn’t feel bad about it

Embryo transfer done! 1 lovely embryo on board. I can't believe we made it to this stage! We have 3 more growing but they were smaller and not as good as the lead one hence transferring one only today. We will find out tomorrow if any are suitable for freezing. I hope we made the right decision to just have one as we were given the option of 2 (im 39) but i think the doctor was leaning towards just one as it was clearly more developed than the others.

over agree with plane about presenting some facts and figures. I can totally understand why you want to get the ball rolling quickly.

plane glad things are moving forward for you and you are heading towards your first appointment. I had a baby bomb from brother and SIL yesterday as well! really sucks

jamon are you feeling any better? sorry things are so up and down for you

wingit well done on getting to 12 dpo

kathrino hi [wave] will see if i can find the programme on radio 5. have you listened to it?

kerry hope it will be in 2 weeks time! Milan sounds amazing!

baguette thanks, how are you doing?

lemonylem well done on the flashing smiley! hope you had a GOS!

Wow otter I guess you can officially call yourself pregnant! Really hope it's a sticky one for you xxx

I've just been sad (slightly bored at work) and worked out that counting fw as 4 days prior and day of ov, DH and I have had 60 'attempts' over the last 20 cycles.... that a lot of sperm that have been sent on their merry way but all failed abysmally

Hi ladies, thanks for your messages last week. Got my chocolate and had a really lovely brunch with the girls on Saturday and had a few cocktails and had a nice time. Actually only felt crap the day AF came this cycle which is good. Made the appointment to go back to the clinic on the 7th to get the ball rolling which gives us this cycle and then we can start. I just want to get started now so not sure why I've been putting so much pressure on myself as don't really care if it happens naturally or with ICSI. Guess there must be something about your last few cycles that makes you freak out a bit as seems quite common but am glad we've got an appointment booked to look forward to.

That all sounds so good otters, how did you find the transfer? Sounds like you've been feeling all ok throughout the process? Well done for dealing with the baby bomb when you're going through it as well, got everything crossed for you.

over I don't always take it either. I know plenty of people who never took it before getting pregnant but that said I am going to be religious about it this month as we gear up for treatment but there's been lots of times when I've definitely not been too strict with it! You've got to cut yourself some slack sometimes. Definitely with you on the tests front, just feels good to be looking into it and finding out what's going on, gives you a feeling of control back.

Sorry you're feeling crappy jam.. Any particular trigger? At least Monday's nearly over. This dull weather doesn't really help does it...

Those boards are a joke plane, I try not to look anymore as just winds me up!

mouse well done on the weightless! What have you been doing? Obviously something that works!

So excited for you otters how do you feel at the min?!

flash xx I LOVE those mood boosters - I am going to write those into a note on my phone x

Fabulous otters well done, I've got everything crossed for you

chlo definitely the last few cycles have had the freak out factor for me. Glad you had a lovely weekend and great that you've got an appointment booked

I don't know why my mood has dipped. I think it might be weekends you know - too much time on my hands. We went for a nice walk yesterday and cooked a roast. The whole time all I could think was "there should be three of us by now".

I'll drag myself back up.

So glad you had a restful weekend jamon... um sorry who is KH?
#Iamwayolderthanyou

BTW its Monday - aka bad mood day!!!

Way to go otters!!!! Remember you are PUPO now!!!
Do you need my “patent pending” 2ww tips?

I am trying out the Aura App - which has 3 min meditations on it. Can do on daily commute

Have to go back to Asda again tomorrow as they could not completely fulfil my prescription...

Ladies I am going to be very lazy and use photos to explain something that happened to me yesterday... apologies in advance if I offend anyone.

Hope it works now

Crap - ok will have to sort tomorrow. Sorry for big build up..

Kwick KH ??? 🤔

What happened to you the other day? Hope you’re okay xx

Jam it is such an up and down journey, don't beat yourself up and just try and ride the waves as much as you can. Flash those suggestions are amazing! I just always self medicate with chocolate...really need to stop that!

otters so pleased you have your baby on
board...hope you can manage to stay chilled for the next few days.

kath I didn't hear that, but I turned the radio on this evening and there was a story of a couple's IVF journey on radio 4 - they only had one fertilised egg and it didn't work for them - I was sobbing in the car. I'm blaming hormones!

plane sorry about the baby bomb. It never gets easier does it!

winging I so hope it is a BFP for you - we need some good news!

kwick don't keep us in suspense!

Day 6 of downregging today - I feel a bit foggy and tired...but that could just be Monday. Feels like time is going really slowly but I'm sure stimming will be here before I know it.....

jam and struggle really hope it helps, if you need any more let me know!

Kwick kit harington AKA Jon snow from game of thrones!

I must apologise: I am the only person in the whole wide world who has never seen the Game of Thrones

Right ladies apologies for building this up...

So on Sunday at the Yoga Show after buying some Pukka tea and supplements and getting a gorgeous free bag, and having a wonderful Thai massage and buying 3 full size Organic products for a tenner and buying a TWO years supply of hair removal thingy I made the MISTAKE of stopping for a free "reading" by a Christian group.

So the lady asked me to pick a few cards and then told me she thought I was looking for something.... I said that I was looking to have a baby... she was initially happy -
Her: "Oh how long have you and your husband been trying?"
Me: "Oh no there is no husband"
Her: "Oh your partner then?"
Me: "Oh no partner I am doing this alone"
Her: a very confused look "But....?"
Me: big grin "I am using a donor"
Her: sad face "Oh.... but is that what you most seek?"
Me: "Well I guess I would have liked to do this with a man but I am 43, he did not come along so I have to shake a leg"
Her: "Oh but surely that is not what you want most in the world. Jesus says.....(sorry cannot remember)... and so surely you want a man most of all"
Me: "the higher power I know would not want me to miss a chance at happiness"
Her: "But being a single mother is awful. I was one after my husband died and my daughter is a single mum and it is not good."
Me: "Well clearly those are your experiences and I cannot question them but just because those are your experiences does not mean they will be mine"
It transpires God, through her, cannot bless me... I see she is really struggling so I say:
Me: "I can see this is difficult for you. I believe that the universe is constantly showing us things to guide our way and whilst you clearly do not think I am taking the right path I believe that I was supposed to meet you today as a sign that I have made the best decision ever and to completely underline the fact that I am doing what is right. Thank you for showing me that."

I then quickly went and had some Reiki to get rid of her horrible negative energy...

But I am STILL in shock!!!! If God is love then this lady has truly strayed from that path....

Struggle how long are you down regging for? What drug are you taking? My hospital is putting me on Progynova first up which is tablet form. You are making excellent progress , keep going 💪🏼

Kwick oh dear she sounds a little unhinged 😕 very unhelpful of her to offload her negativity on you if she has a code of practice then I’m sure this goes against it. Shake and brush it off and don’t give her a second thought. You’re a wonderful lady with so much spirit and your baby will be a very lucky little soul to call you Mum xx

Wow kwick that does sound like an ordeal - she is obviously very bitter about her life so I would just ignore her! You did well to keep your calm.

jam downregging for 21 days!! So a third of the way through tonight. I am starting to panic a bit about how long I might be stimming for a missing an important work event but I know I just need to relax...easier said than done.

flash - we need a weekly positivity session from you.

There was a car in front of me with the reg BFP this morning - I am taking it as a good sign!

what a lovely thing to say - thanks jamon
I will be on Progynova too... well I think - I will check tonight when I pick up the meds.

struggle I found all my previous treatments (9) very hard to fit in when I was off on work trips every week but you know I just did - and as soon as I had recognised that this was very important for my future happiness things just kind of slotted into place (and I got inventive with excuses)
Definitely a good sign!!!

I wrote a HUGE long reply to everyone last night and lost it. Ffs. So in short mentally I’ve replied to you all. Lol. No idea about the 7lbs weight loss. I’ll probably Put it back on again this week, as that’s just how it’s been recently.

Went to the GP last night. He said to book a blood test for 7 days after ovulate next cycle (yep I was 7DPO yesterday ffs) and is sending me for an ultrasound. Not sure how useful my levels will be without an early blood test too. Will refer me to fertility clinic after results.

But stupidly been symptom spotting like an idiot. My boobs hurt... my boobs NEVER hurt. Been very angry today too. 😕😔

I really hope this is a good sign mouse!!! 🤞🏼

Um jamon were you keeping Wilton’s Patisserie a secret on purpose?????????

Fingers crossed Mouse. If your cycle is regular I'd get the blood test booked in if AF comes (obviously hope she doesn't). When I rang to book day 21 they offered me an appointment 5 weeks away and said I couldn't choose the day. I just kept ringing until I got someone sensible.

Go Otters with your little embie.

Struggle hope you're not suffering too many side effects. Hope the car reg is an omen!

Kwick I'm afraid that woman was a prize twat. Good on you. Need a mini Kwick in the world to restore the balance.

Plane and Otters sorry for the baby bombs, they are horrid. I've been told by a friend about another friend's pregnancy. I'm not even telling DH til I get my head around it.

Overina can you persuade DH to allow the referral to be made, everything takes soooo long. Call it a plan B or a Sod's Law or whatever. P. S. I just thought Overina could be the name of a fertility supplement!

I finish my job tomorrow! Start new role on Monday, fertility appointment came through for Tuesday. Couldn't make it up! I've said I had a pre booked appointment. I worried for so long about changing jobs in case I got pregnant, now I don't care about the timing (though it would be an awkward conversation!).