IVF Cycle Buddies July/August

[BiscuitBill]

Hi all! I know there's a June/July thread but I've started this one as I'm so far behind everyone else and wanted to find others at the same stage as me!

We're due to start a FET after a failed fresh cycle in march resulted in a CP. We got 5 Frosties which I'm so pleased with and we're putting two frozen ones back this time.

AF came yesterday, so I'm booked in for scratch on 24th of this month and start DR on 22nd.

I joined a thread on my last cycle and it helped me so much as I am very private with all of this. So I'm hoping to find others to share with again 😊

Apparently my cervix doesn't like being manually opened (as opposed to natural dilation) and it triggers a nerve that runs down through your abdomen. It's quite rare I think, so they are querying if I'll have to be sedated for ET too. Brilliant. Like you said biscuit 'the things we do'

I'm keeping up with normal exercise until I feel that I need to slow down really.

Seems like a mixed bag re time off work. I think I will end up having the week off between ER and ET, then see how I feel. I'd probably rather work at least some of the tww, so I don't go mental.

Just had a good friend of DHs tell us they are expecting, exactly a year after their wedding, which is great news obviously, but my heart still twinged a bit.

Aw crying honestly I get so upset when friends tell me they're pregnant, obviously happy for them but just a feeling of unfairness! My best friend told me a couple of months ago and they have backed away from us like our infertility is some kind of disease it's so upsetting! We will get ther ladies xx

Leanne that's a pretty poor show from friends and to admit that is just sickening!
Re the clinic, we may well be considering our advice is similar. Don't ask them about alcohol!!
Crying that's totally crap how it makes us feel. I actually view things very differently that I'm so happy when people tell me they are pregnant. I genuinely hope none of my friends ever have to go through this and the more people that get pregnant I keep hoping that it's due to medical advances and I'll be next!

Haha Iv been off alcohol for a good few weeks but I know it's meant to be 3 months oops 😬

Oh god now I'm really panicking. I barely drink, but saying that I've probably had 2 drinks most weekends for the last few months.

I've proper stopped now though, pinky promise!

Haha I'm not a big drinker either but went a bit mad at the end of term but other than that just been a couple! I honestly think it's better to be relaxed about it all and if that relaxes u then surely it will help xx

Oh crying that sounds awful re your cervix! Maybe it would be better to be sedated for ET if its triggering a nerve!

And crying and leanne i totally feel the same. Hearing other peoples pregnancy news is just the worst. Obviously you are happy for them, its lovely news and what we all want, but it just brings home the fact that after all this time I still dont have it (and it always seems so bloody easy for everyone else!) Hopefully this is the month for all of us x

That is a great attitude to have gamblers. Obviously i would never want anyone to have to go through this, but almost all of my friends have got preg straight away, some have had 2 since we started ttc, so it does make it feel even more cruel.

Im now off the booze too, hopefully we all will be for a long while!

Thanks guys. I'm just glad they managed to actually do the scratch, which was the first thing I managed to ask when I can round...much to the nurses amusement.

Leanne that's so sad that your friend is acting like that. I do think a lot of people don't know how to react to the whole IVF thing, and sometimes it's the elephant in the room which can make people feel awkward. Sometimes I want to tell everyone everything, including all the gory details, and other times I wish no one knew! But we will definitely all get there!!!

I had a week between EC and ET last time, only because of the short notice I would have had to give, and they gave me a sick note which just said something like 'recovering from minor op'. I preferred being at work during 2ww or I think I would have home crazy!

Poor you crying, that's sounds awful! But at least you didn't feel any pain being passed out 😂

I want to crawl under a rock and never come out whenever anyone tells me they are expecting 😔 I have distanced my self from 2 of my best friends who are pregnant & it makes me feel like an awful human being. But I just can't face being around them & their baby bumps. I wish I had your attitude gamblers

I know it's actually got me wanting to do some sort of awareness project when it's all over as I talk to my friends about it but they still don't really know what ivf is! I was explaining it to 2 close friends last week and they still didn't get it it was actually hilarious and baffling but y would they know when they've not had to go through it! Just off to do jag number 2 haha xx

Cho I know it's just that sinking feeling when you know what they are going to announce. I have to just keep telling myself 'look happy for them' 'don't shout out in horror that you're still barren'

I've told a few work friends, I think that's easier than real life friends if that makes sense. What thoroughly pisses me off is if I mention something we have to go through or risks and they say, I doubt that'll happen or I don't think that's the case. Or I'm sure you can still drink until the eggs back in.
I just want to scream, listen Brenda I might get balloon sized ovaries, and I might not manage to do cartwheels for a while and no I definitely can't get hammered at your leaving do and I know far more about this than you do so stfu!
Rant over!

Yep, you can tell what theyre about to say and have to steady youself to squeak and say how happy you are for them (which i genuinely am), but then i usually have a good cry to get it our of my system when i get home. Except one time when one friend caught me totally off guard with an announcement and i simply couldnt muster the right response and pretty much just stared at her and couldnt say anything! No one knew about our situation so it must have looked so weird but I just couldnt help it. We didnt tell anyone other than my boss, due to appointments needed etc, for 4 years. Told a handful of close friends and family last year, and although theyve all been super nice and sensitive about it they dont have any idea what its like and I dont think anyone can understand unless theyve been through it.

Haha poor Brenda gamblers, she wouldnt know whats hit her if you said that!

Haaa Gamblers thats so true, and I guess we have to keep injecting a bit of humour into our situations (excuse the pun)! There's always a 'Brenda' in every situation, so I've come to learn.

I got asked if I could 'just come in afterwards' as they wouldn't be able to complete a project without me

Ha ha there's no actually a 'brenda' I was referring to any of the friends that say daft stuff like that. Like they know more about it and that somehow I'm making stuff up.
Often just need to tell them wee snippets of info I've read or learned just to talk it through with someone but they always just say, I'm sure that's not accurate or that won't happen or I doubt it'll happen to you. So dismissive of any anxieties. I've given up now.

I totally get thatvthe only person that gets it is ny sister, everyone else just brushes it off but I guess they just don't know what to say or do as they don't know anyone else going through it! I just hate the 'when h Bach for kids?' Question it makes my blood boil x

A girl I went to school with actually said to me a few weeks ago that I must be the last one in my year to not have kids so I told her she was out of line and she doesn't know the reason behind it, she then backed down and apologised! It made me fee like crap and I spent an hour at my work in an office crying x

Folk just don't have a clue.
A girl at my work was making everyone feel her bump one day, parading up and down and being quote over the top. It didn't really affect me but my friend who knows took real offence on my behalf.

Leanne that girl sounds like she really just doesn't have a clue and probably will never really know how badly that affected you.

I know I totally get that she just caught me on an off day poor girl 😂 People don't do it to be nasty they just don't know xx

My DP has the most annoying response to me being annoyed! He never sees what anyone has said as the problem but the way I react and the offence I take is be problem. It's so infuriating. In that situation he'd be wondering why it bothered me and wouldn't join in the anger and slagging them off but tel me to stop wasting my time being bothered by other people.

I know it's a good attitude to take but sometimes you just need someone to slag off the insensitive people with you!

I have told 1 friend and only when I broke down crying during my last 2ww, which is so unlike me. I haven't told anyone else for the very reasons above. I told mum after the last one, and she's been great, but I just don't want the fuss. I don't think anyone gets it unless they've been through it, and even then all our stories are different. I just want to get on with it and chat to you lovely ladies, virtually hold hand through this, and come out the other side.
My next door neighbour is now pregnant, they moved in c5months ago, only recently together etc. Just so unfair 🤔. I might have to move. I do not want to hear her baby (sorry but I don't). I just focus on there being no 'reason' they're not better than me for being fertile, Just the way things are.
One thing for sure is this makes us all stronger. Everyone is so brave. Who else would put themselves through all this!!

Haha gamblers mine is the same so my sister joins in with me 😂I'm glad we can be here for each other too chiv it's the best way as we all 'get it' xx

Chivin you are so right, we are strong and brave and when we are hopefully lucky to get where we want to be we'll know we've tried everything we can.
I suppose we never know anyone's story and some people are very lucky, some very unhappy, some clueless!
Move, house shmouse. Move to a field and become at one with the cows!

I have to stop myself from saying things to people, cos I think I'd look like a woe is me sort. I've never ever said this out loud but I feel it deep down. I've been dealt a shitty stick. I lost 5 members of my family- very close- one being my mum in 18 months. My mum battled with cancer and were so close and I was there when she passed. It's been a terrible few years and now this. I actually haven't shed a single tear over my own fertility journey I've just pretty much got on with it but I don't know how long that will last. I reckon I'm still so numb.

Thats why we didnt tell anyone for so long, i cant be doing with people who have no idea about infertility/miscarriage giving advice, however well meaning it might be. Would rather just get on with things and not have to listen to that! Even now when i talk to those few about it, its mainly about next steps/practical stuff rather than the emotional/anxiety side of things as i think id struggle to even explain and wouldnt expect people to understand.

leanne comments like that suck, at least she apologised and might think twice before saying something like that again. People just aren't aware at all.