The mind numbing boredom of infertility IV

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

Yes it's the return of the thread where we're so fucking bored of being infertile and talking about infertility and thinking about infertility and worrying and infertility and learning about infertility treatment and explaining infertility to other people and making up lies to cover up for going for infertility tests and treatment that we can't even be bothered to think of a better name for the thread.

Join us if you are barren, bored and bitter, or any combination of the above. We'll listen to your tails of woe when everyone you've ever met upduffs in an instant, accompany you through the trials of tests and treatment and commiserate the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

Welcome to the ghetto.

When I can work out links, I'll post linnks to threads 1, 2 and 3

Hi all [waves].

Feeling pretty fed up. 6dp5dt of one ropey blast. Not a symptom to be found (no matter how hard I look...) and a stark-white BFN this morning. Planning our next DE cycle already. Impatient to get the ball rolling, but our OTD is the 31st. The clinic wouldn't accept any hpt results before then. Bloody hate being in tww limbo, but I suppose I should be getting used to it by now. 12 months ttc, 3 mcs, 2 failed ivfs. No wonder I'm knackered.

Thanks peaop I did wonder about family planning but still wondered whether we could trust them. Also wonder whether private clinic would accept anonymised results, but perhaps we can just write our names on the results?! I will check with them. I happen to know someone who works at family planning so feel a bit about going!
Good luck for your FET tho

Thanks. Just to let you know that our fpc just texted 'ok' to us post tests. If you go somewhere you pay for them they will probably give you a full printout of results.

mira just a quick one on the tests - do you have any idea which clinic you might go with if you go private? Sorry for butting in, but we have just had to pay to have them done privately because our clinic (Care) don't accept results from FP clinics - something I do with some of the labs not confirming to HEFCE regulations

I personally think it's just a way to get more more money out of us. You might be absolutely fine (and it's obv free at FP so not like you'll lose any money), but just thought Id mention it xx

mira if you go to a GUM clinic within the NHS and tell them you are seeking infertility treatment, they should be able to give you a print out of your results.

fuzzy don't give up hope yet

I was always told 17days from ec / ie 2ww from day 3 - 14+3

You are 6dp 5dt so 11days

I tested early (for once. Never did on any of the 4 other cycles)as was my bday and had a bfn :(

3days later on actual test date I had my first ever bfp

KEEP taking medication for another 6days and test again then

What date did clinic give you to test?

banana as always my heart goes out to you and mr banana - if it's not one thing it's another - but yah for a period !!!

Thanks angelica and meadow😀
We were thinking of reprofit just because their name keeps coming up in our research and on here! They've just told us they won't accept anonymised results. I don't understand why though as we're paying for it! I might pursue it and ask why as a preliminary search seems to show its can be several hundred pounds per test, I work in an NHS lab, and this is ridiculous! We might then ask our not so local private clinic how much they would charge to do it.
Thanks again for your help.

On a side note my job involves doing these serology tests (ironically!) and family planning and regular patients coming through their gp get treated exactly the same. I'm not sure what hefce guidelines are but I'll look them up...

Mira just something to think about. Clinics learn from cycles so they can adapt the next cycle based on what they learn on previous cycle(s). If you are planning to withhold details of your first/private cycle from your NHS clinic (and I totally get why you would), you might not get the best outcome as mistakes may be repeated etc. My drugs, doses and timings were changed in my second cycle because of how I responded in the first cycle. I'm the same age as you and it's disappointing that they won't let you get started until you are 36! If I was in your shoes I would wait 6mths and do NHS first (but I also know how hard the wait is!).

Fuzzy testing early is a minefield really but it's great that you've got a back up plan!

Banana I'm sorry you're going through so much but the bleeding sounds like progress!

Sorry can't scroll back further on my phone to reply to do more personals but to Fourpaws, Ekam, Bean and everyone - this is a safe space to vent amongst people that get it. Real life support isn't always easy and I wish I'd found you ladies years ago instead of plunging into a huge pit of despair xx

MrFuzzy - sorry to hear you had a BFN. Have you tested again since or are you going to wait until the OTD?

I started spotting today so no miracle for me :( looks like IVF it is.

I've not admitted to this on here before as I didn't want you all thinking I'm completely loopy, but I have really really bad health anxiety. IVF is just so far out my comfort zone... I keep going over everything that could go wrong such as OHSS, infection, some kind of disaster during egg collection etc. It's one of the main reasons it has taken us so long to take the step to IVF and now it's here I'm petrified.

Closephine I can see why ivf would be pushing your comfort zone. Having been through it twice (last October & this month) I can say that it's really not that bad. I was a little freaked to begin with about getting the air bubbles out of the syringes, but I soon got the knack. My second round was more uncomfortable after retrieval because I had more eggs (15, the first time it was 6) but it's really nothing unbearable. Keep asking questions and getting your head around it.

Well, I'm now 7dp5dt (so technically 12dpo) and no symptoms whatsoever. Bfn on a FRER this morning. I'll test again in a few days but I'm counting myself officially out of the game. I've had a wobble today, scared to death that a donor egg cycle won't work either. We only have enough money for one more go before we'll have to look at remortgaging the house. I'll get my mojo back - I think I just need to process all this shit. Missing my little boy more than ever

In other news - I had a big hole cut in my foot today to remove the lesion. Next step is to biopsy, grade it and decide if any more has to be removed or if any more treatment is needed. Another anxious 2 week wait, of a different kind.

Good luck folks x

Ah MrFuzzy I really feel for you so much (it's hard to convey how much in words and over and Internet forum). You have lived the worst nightmare there is and then have had a whole heap of other shit lumped on top of you. I hope there is some light at the end of this crappy crappy tunnel for you. Have you looked at clinics abroad for donor egg treatment? I know of quite a few ladies who have had success in Barcelona and it will be cheaper than the uk. They also do donor egg at Serum in athens where I'm going. It's 3k euros for one round (meds and whatever the DE part costs on top) or 4K for 2 rounds if you do them within a year of each other.

Since my AMH came back at 32 I'm scared I'm going to overstimulate/produce a ton of eggs. Maybe I need to voice my fears and explain that I'd actually rather understimulate?! Does it even work like that? Less meds = less eggs? Or would it just be less meds = the same amount but smaller/poorer quality?! I've tried not to google the process too much as it just makes me worse but now I'm finding i don't really know what's about to happen!

close. Sorry to hear spotting :( ivf is a minefield and rollarcoaster and the first cycle think was hardest as unknown territory and what excalty would happen - 2nd was better as in I knew what the rough protocol was

3rd was abroad and tho kinda scary going to the unknown clinic (where as 1&2 were local in uk) but their over all approach was amazing and as we knew how ivf worked by then prob easier even more then cycle 1&2

fuzzy I had no symptoms either. Really thought our 5th cycle had failed again - please try and not test till test date tho know it's hard 💐💐

If you do go down donor route agree abroad. Ivf is much cheaper there anyway

Serum Athens
Reprofit and gest in Prague /chez
Ivf Barcelona
Ivi Madrid

Get mentioned a lot. I used ivi in Madrid but my own eggs and can't fault their whole care. Plus flyable all daily except ec - tho if using DE then that Wouldn't apply to you and you would literally fly in and out that day (like we did with our 4/5th fet from 3rd fresh cycle)

Thanks for the advice folks. I'll discuss it with DH later. Definitely food for thought.

Close you are very carefully monitored during ivf. You'll have 'dildo-cam' every 2 days once things get going. They are experts - they take things like AMH levels in order to estimate your meds. I know that Googleweb is full of women with OHSS but in reality it's quite rare, because of the expertise of the consultant overseeing your case. With my pathetic 6 eggs first time around, I still had phone calls and questions about my symptoms to look out for it, along with advice on how to avoid it and what to do if it happens. And bear in mind that in the grand scheme of things, no-one who got OHSS in a successful ivf cycle ever regretted doing it. Some women I've read about are quite pleased when it gets worse after transfer as it's a good sign of success. As with anything in pregnancy, the shitter you feel, the more reassured you are that things are ok! Only in Barren Land would I be yearning for another 20 weeks of all-day nausea and vomiting!

Very true. I'm suffering from hg and very sick 4/20w and 0n and off since. But always get told by doctors etc that bubs is healthy and the sickness won't hurt her and basically the crappier the pregnancy then healthier bubs is ....,

I also bled by day 11 on both uk cycles and failed. If you have no bleeding cramps then a good sign ....

Thanks blueroses I know I should wait but...just so impatient, every month that slips by just so hard at my age! Currently awaiting day 14 scan at a private scan place and waiting for a pregnant lady having a scan with her whole excited family! with, like both mums! Except they started the scan without waiting for her mum...bit off I thought!...
So hard doing these things around the pregnant!

The woman doing the scan was lovely tho, which helped. So sorry for hearing about others struggles. I don't feel able to atm, but if I ever have a baby I'm going to do something about this taboo and silent suffering people go through...at the moment we haven't told anyone irl. And it's difficult to know who to talk to, and how people will react. No sympathy for barrens at my workplace for example...

Thanks for the reassurance ladies. I will man up and get on with it like the rest of you have.

Seriously though, right now I'm so pissed at my body. For the first time EVER my AF has gone straight in and started after just 1 day of spotting. I usually have about 3-4 days before 'full flow'. Serum want me scanned between day 1-3 (latest). I'd booked my scan for Monday morning assuming it would arrive over the weekend and when I did so the receptionist told me how busy tomorrow's clinic is. So now I have an anxious wait to see if they will be kind and fit me in tomorrow. If they say no I may just go down there and sit in their reception area until they see me...?!

Closephine I can understand being nervous now that you're finally getting started but I found that I was relieved to actually be doing something proactive! A good clinic shouldn't let you over or under stimulate - they should be going for optimum. Day 1 to 3 is quite tight when it falls near a weekend so hopefully they will squeeze you in tomorrow. Good luck xx

Ok ladies. I've discussed ivf abroad with DH and he really likes the idea. For those who are going down this road, or have already done it, can I pick your brains?

How many times do you have to fly out? We'll be doing donor eggs so I'm guessing we could combine a week's holiday with the week of the actual EC & ET, but how many other face-to-face appointments are required?

What about aftercare? Do you just get discharged into the NHS like a natural conception after ET?

How do you go about getting your prescriptions?

Any other practicalities I haven't foreseen?

Sorry to sound like a dunce. I've done lots of international travel but only for work or pleasure, so I'm starting from scratch with this.

It does seem, though, that the £10k we've got left in the kitty could potentially get us 2 cycles for the price of 1 in the U.K.

Thanks all!

Hi MrFuzzy

That's basically why we have gone down this road. We have 10k which could potentially get us 2/3 rounds compared to 1 round for 8k in the uk (we need IMSI so bumps price up by about 1800 per round whereas it's included at Serum!).

Here's a link to a really helpful file about Serum that a lady put together on fertility friends www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=274114.0 it's pretty comprehensive and should answer your questions! Like I said before, I've also heard great things about Barcelona but I'm afraid have no other info on it.

Thanks Blue. I think once I actually get going with it a few of these worries will ease off a bit!

Thanks Closephine. That's really helpful. I think my mind is made up! Good luck - once you get going you'll be fine. As others have said, the feeling of being proactive and in-control is quite nice, and very different from the usual ttc stab in the dark. Stimming just feels like a mega-ovulation, with bloat and twinges. I had a little nausea last time, but nothing awful. I've been sore after EC and mega bloated for a few days, but it passes very quickly. The only jabs that I've not liked are Clexane (post ET blood thinner) but the rest are virtually painless. It's really ok!!! And all will be completely forgotten when you've got a beautiful little baby in your arms xxx

Just had my antral follicle count scan. 9 on one side and 18 on the other... sounds like rather a lot to me!

I've got a virus/head cold/chest infection and they've sent me away for an hour before going back to get meds. I keep sporadically bursting into tears in public. I'm currently hiding in the corner of a cafe trying to man myself the fuck up! Hoping that this is my wobble and once I've sorted myself out I'll just get on with things.

Your AMH & AFC are all guides for them to put you on the right protocol. I was on the top whack - 450 of menopur. My AFC was 12-ish although they couldn't see all of my right ovary. My AMH was only 7.4. They'll put you on a lower dose of stims and treat your ovaries very gently. They'll keep you closely monitored with regular scans and adjust your meds if you are under- or over-stimulating. They know what they're doing! I know it's hard to put the control entirely in their hands, but you have to. Your job now is to look after yourself, do as you're told, eat plenty of protein rich foods and drink lots of water. You'll be fine! Just keep your eyes on the prize. Find a mother with a baby in a buggy (there's normally millions of them around us barrens) and ask yourself again if it's worth it. Shitmas was the epiphany moment for me. I fucking REFUSE to go through another season of festive bollocks without a baby on the way, whatever it takes to get there.

Pep talk over! Good luck!

Fuzzy. I didn't do de (used own eggs but abroad) but know several couples who did so this is what they said

Fly out first for chat /any blood tests (if yours are over a year) if you are happy then proceed and hubby will give sperm sample with they will freeze

Once they find a donor to Match your blood group and looks then they will contact you and will sync you and donor cycles

This is done by one injection to halt your eggs and then go onto progynova for a few weeks (roughly) to thicken lining ready for et

They will give you drug prescription which I advise buying abroad as so much cheaper or if nice NHS gp you may be able to get on NHS prescription

Injection to stop
Progynova or equivalent
Pesseries

The next bit is same as fet (I had two) so you will have scans to check lining - I had all done locally and then my local clinic emailed abroad with scans and results. They are used to doing that

Abroad will keep in contact with you and tell you when donor has ec. How many eggs and what stage etc they are

They usually do 5dt as eggs good quality and on day after/two days ec , clinic will call you and say et will be day xyz

You will get obviously 2/3days notice so then book flights asap

As et from de is like a fet it can be done easily in a day if abroad is short flight

We used ivi Madrid and many times flew in and out daily due to era (mock cycle) only time we stayed the night was for fresh cycle and when needed minor gynee op

Hope this helps - message me if want any more info

Aftercare. Welcome to go to clinic anytime you are preg tho obv having scans at a local one is easier if use abroad

Tech they sign you off at 12w preg and then into NHS

Madrid were fab at keeping in touch during 2ww and once finally got preg emailing etc

You will be given your own translater who will be here for any apps tho the main doctors do speak English