Failure stories

[BipBippadotta]

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

Pea that sounds like a great plan. Don't forget the wine!

So, it has been confirmed as a bfn. We get a letter in the next couple of weeks with a date to go in and have a debrief and see what next. This sucks. Thanks for helping me through guys. Much appreciated.

To cheer us all up someone at the office made unicorn biscuits for the Macmillan coffee morning today. A little worried that a fellow barren may be lurking in my office and I haven't noticed.....

I'm so sorry, Pea. What a blow, even if it's one you were expecting. Would it be cathartic at all to bite the head off the unicorn? Thinking of you.

First thing I did...

So sorry Pea - look after yourself.

I've just had a dating scan at 11+5 and the baby has a hernia, which could resolve on its own in a few weeks or not; if not it could be survivable & fixed by an operation after birth, or it could mean the intestines are forming outside the body, which is not survivable. Apparently this hernia only remains unresolved in 25% of pregnancies by 11 weeks, which does not bode well.

Here we go again.

Oh bip - this is just beyond shit.

Oh bip - no words. It's just shit. So much love and hugs to you and DH. Xxx

Got a scan & CVS booked at FMC on Weds, as this sort of hernia is generally an indicator of chromosomal abnormalities.

Another sonographer who could have done with some sensitivity training. Blank look & total silence when I told her I'd had a stillbirth previously; she happily showed us fingers and toes & 4d views before saying, 'so yeah, there's a hernia here that you need to get checked out urgently; go to the hospital as soon as you possibly can.'

Bip, so sorry to hear this. What a monster pile of steaming shit. Please please keep a tiny fraction of your mind open to the fact that nothing might be anything going wrong at all.

In 48 hours you will know more, and soon after that CVS results will be clear.

Stupid COW of a sonographer. These people are so ignorant.

Big big hugs to you.

I don't want to keep any part of my mind open to that possibility I'm afraid - it would just make me insane. If someone tells me with certainty that the hernia has resolved,
and there are no chromosomal abnormalities, I will happily reopen my mind. But for as long as we don't know precisely how bad it is, I need to assume the worst & prepare for it.

Last chance for an ERPC would fall on the same week as my daughter's anniversary.

Ok Bip. I am so very very sorry that you find yourself back in a place of hideous fear and uncertainty. Counting the hours for you until you have clarity.

Bip, when you say 'this sort of hernia is generally an indicator of chromosomal abnormalities' may I ask what sort that is?

Thanks, LH. Hope you're doing well.

Sorry to hear that update bip.

It's an exomphalos.

link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00383-009-2357-3

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/398526/Abdominal_wall_defects_-exomphalos__omphalocele_-HP-_FASP76.pdf

'Karyotyping by amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling (CVS) is usually recommended due to the strong association with chromosomal abnormalities.'

Oh bip I'm so sorry, so sad to read this. Love to you and mr bip

Bip I'm so so sorry to read this. When will you get the results of Wed's scan and CVS, will you be in limbo for long? Your poor thing, what a shit piece of news. I hope someone punches that fucking sonographer.

Pea I'm so sorry too. What an awful day. I can't remember - are you private or NHS? I thought they'd have you in very quickly for the WTF meeting.

Banana how are you today? I hope work provided some kind of distraction from the due date.

What an awful day all round.

Bip, I've done a little online reading. From what I can see the sort of chromasomal abdnormalities associated with exomphalos are exactly those that your Panorama test would have showed up already.

The NHS would, of course, have to recommend amnio or CVS to look for chromosomal abnormalities because most NHS patients would not have undergone Panorama or Harmony.

I am not trying to give you false hope - I entirely respect you prefer to expect the absolute worst until you know conclusively. I am just asking you as you will have read a lot more than me. What I have read over the last hour indicates that where there are not further chromosomal abnormalities, the majority of these hernias close up by 13 weeks.

Have I missed something here? Would your Panorama test not have showed up something linked with an exomphalos?

Panorama only shows risk. It also only screens for 3 of the many possible trisomies, sex chromosome issues, and some microdeletions. It doesn't test for everything that could go wrong genetically.

In the context of my obstetric history - which includes at least 2 instances of fatal trisomies Panorama doesn't test for, plus a fatal umbilical cord problem - an umbilical issue that might also be chromosomal seems like bad news of the sort that tends to happen in my pregnancies, and not unlikely to be fatal.

I know you're only trying to help, but it's really not helping. I am not being unreasonably negative here. I am being realistic and pragmatic in light of my own medical history and the tests I have had and the limitations of those tests.

Ok Bip. And I wasn't trying to be unreasonably positive, I was just asking for the information that you just gave me.

It is my choice to have CVS. It might not be your choice. But please respect mine and don't keep trying to make me justify it.

Bip so sorry to hear your news

I am sorry too. Here's to a happy, productive and fulfilling four decades once you get past this shitstorm.