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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Failure stories

949 replies

BipBippadotta · 09/07/2016 13:08

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

OP posts:
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19
LHReturns · 29/09/2016 15:38

OMG - Robber!!! That is absolutely fantastic!!! What happy news for this thread!! How incredibly reassuring. You can go through what you did earlier this week and for now all is still well. I am so very happy for you.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/09/2016 16:46

Fab news robber. Keep hoping

I'm doing ok tho have swapped am-noon sickness to feeling fine daytime and eating anything yet after dinner 8/9pm I'm sick

Lost every evening meal this week so far :(

RobberBride · 29/09/2016 18:33

Thanks LH and Blondes. HCG results were 5575, they've gone up 66% in just under 48 hours which the consultant is happy with. I'm absolutely shattered now, all the adrenaline has gone.

Blondes sorry you're feeling sick, that is rubbish. I suppose at least it means you can function at work? (Clutching at straws!)

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 29/09/2016 19:05

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. It's been fine today. Build up worse than the day.

robber I'm so pleased to hear your news, SOMEONE has to be in the 0.5% and usually that's the shit place to be so well done on getting your own back on the stats!

tiger the racing around sounds like a nightmare. It's one of the reasons I'm staying with a clinic I'm not mad about - convenience. if it's not better I'll go elsewhere next cycle. I also had a moment with dh when I had to stress he needed to make more of an effort. When we went for the early scan he gave me a list of times it wasn't convenient for him. I pointed out that I'd been fretting about this every second since pissing on a stick and the scan was to find out if the baby was alive; nothing is more important so MOVE STUFF. He's normally very good and he was better after I pointed it out, but it seems every now and then he needs a nudge to remember to prioritise it, and that I'm doing most of the racing around / counting days / taking drugs, so he needs to focus on caring and supporting. Hopefully your dh will have a moment of clarity!

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/09/2016 21:45

Robber I've never bad s blood test so don't know the figures mean. But assume higher the better so whoop

I work nights usually and sleep rest daytime (I'm a vampire really) but away on holiday at mo.

Def chose a clinic that you feel happy with - may not always be the closest one but you need to trust them. I lost faith in uk clinic where had 1&2 hence why went Abroad. - but found a great scanning clinic near us

RobberBride · 30/09/2016 22:07

Banana and Tiger how did your appointments go today?

PeaOp · 01/10/2016 08:31

It's a bfn from me so we can now add IVF to our list of 'shit we've tried'. Blood test Monday to confirm but not even a hint of a line on the test.

BipBippadotta · 01/10/2016 08:40

I am so sorry, Pea. It's so fucking shit.

OP posts:
PeaOp · 01/10/2016 08:45

Thanks bip. We have 2 frosties so hopefully can get our FET on early in 2017. At least we got further than we ever have before. Only another 4 arse bullets to go before we get the blood test results and we can close this cycle.

tigerdog · 01/10/2016 08:56

I'm so sorry pea. It's spectacularly gutting and heartbreaking after going through all the shit of IVF to get a bfn. Big hugs.

Glad you had a good birthday potatoes. To be fair, traveling to the clinic hasn't been too bad, but I'm going to an open day for one a mile away - much more convenient!

Appointment was fine - transfer next Friday and starting progesterone pessaries and jabs tomorrow. This 2ww will involve 6 daily tablets (estrogen and an aspirin) and 3 daily injections (fragmin and lubion) as well as 2 progesterone bum-bullets. Hard to put it out of your mind when constantly faffing about drugs!

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/10/2016 09:45

Pea. Sorry. It's horrible when ivf fails. We have 4 failed cycles and it's so emotional and draining :( but our 5th was successful - 14.5w - so I hope you have success with a Frostie. That what our bubs was

Tiger - totally sympathy as well. I'm on fragmin and aspirin due to blood clot 10yrs ago.

Tummy is full of colourful ( blue grey purple yellow green) bruises :( looks a sight in a bikini

RobberBride · 01/10/2016 10:53

Oh Pea I'm so so sorry. I'm not sure of IVF timings - are you the equivalent of 14dpo? Is there any chance it was just too early? Flowers for you and your DH, you must be shattered.

Tiger I'm really glad things are moving forwards, though your drug regime sounds pretty hideous. I suppose all the faffing with drugs might distract you a bit from the 2WW?

Potatoes thank you, and I'm glad you had a good birthday.

Blondes I'm so impressed you're even contemplating a bikini, I've got my thermals on!

PeaOp · 01/10/2016 12:22

Hi robber. Today is 12dp3dt so it's 15dpo. I will have a blood test on Monday morning to confirm.

RobberBride · 01/10/2016 12:53

Oh Pea. Hopefully Monday's blood test is conclusive so you can put this to bed. How are you holding up?

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/10/2016 13:05

I was always told to test 17days past ec

So 14days 3day and 12days 5day

May be too early. I tested early as was my birthday and negative yet few days later a bfp

Robber - in tenerife and 32* - tho in shade as find sun too hot at no. And usually a bloody sunworshipper

bananafish81 · 01/10/2016 15:17

Hello all, gosh so much to catch up on. Will get my usual rambling essay over with to update you on the latest with my toxic uterus, then get the me me me out the way so I can reply properly to you all.

Had our WTF appt with my Dr yesterday. He was really sad for us about the outcome of this cycle, but didn't think I was a lost cause. He said I did propagate a pregnancy before (albeit one with sudden foetal demise) and we need to get me back to that place. If I hadn't been properly pregnant before, we might be in a different situation. But that gives him hope. He was really apologetic - we said well the facts are the facts, it's no one's fault and there's no sense in sugar coating it. And he said 'yes, but you're nice people and you've been through a hell of a lot, and I really want this to work for you!'. So we have someone batting for us really hard. Which counts for a lot.

He said something definitely did implant and start to invade the endometrium, it wasn't failed implantation, it was a very early miscarriage - but as far as he's concerned the issue definitely lies with the endometrium and its ability to support a pregnancy (which I agree with). He said we've got the embryos and they're not going anywhere. So the plan is to work on my lining over the next few months.

Hysteroscopy is confirmed for Weds, but will thankfully be less of a D&C (and more of a light clean and polish) as amazingly, there's no crap left in my uterus, despite not having had a proper period (yes, apparently you can absorb uterine lining).

Thankfully BUPA cover miscarriages and gynae procedures, so they'll cover the hysto in full and means my consultant will do the op himself. He said he's extended the theatre time as he wants to do everything extra slowly and carefully to avoid risking scarring or adhesions.

Copper IUD goes in on Weds when he's doing the hysto, and we do one month of HRT and see if I get a bleed. Probably repeat again for another month then take IUD out. The copper generates an inflammatory reaction which causes the endometrium to thicken - it's why women who get a copper coil tend to have very heavy periods. So the copper IUD is used in cases of Ashermans syndrome (even if that's not what I have, we're treating me as if I do) to try and kick the lining into gear and restore menstruation.

Then we will do a mock FET. We'll do endometrial biopsies to see what the lining is actually doing from a histology POV, not just what the scan says it's doing - one in the first half of the cycle in the proliferative phase, then after starting progesterone he's recommended we do the ERA biopsy (the one which looks at the lining during the implantation window to see how receptive it is).

Depending on how they go, whether we have to try different combinations of FET drugs if I still don't respond well to oestrogen (eg Tamoxifen), hopefully a few months down the line we could be in a position to actually do a treatment cycle for real and put one of our PGS tested frozen embryos back. Until then it's back onto the bench of boredom I go...

(And doubtless have bored you all to tears with the minutiae of my sad, sorry uterus!)

The universe has a funny sense of humour that HRT and contraception are supposed to help me to get and stay pregnant 🤔

Still. A fab new project has landed in my lap and as I can go back on my pain meds I can throw myself into work. Agreed I would start a week on Monday. Which would have been my due date if the first one had gone through distance. So, nothing like a new job to provide a suitable distraction. At least I will be able to feel like a vaguely functional human being and not just a professional infertile. And I suck at being a professional infertile - I've achieved the sum total of fuck all this year. So at least if I throw myself into work I might actually feel like I have accomplished something in 2016...

BipBippadotta · 01/10/2016 17:56

Glad you've got a plan of action, Banana. It seems your consultant is as determined as you are! Out of interest, what is a mock FET? Really glad you've got a good project to keep you going, and give you a sense of accomplishment. Not that it's not quite an accomplishment already to be the UK's leading amateur endometrial researcher, but it must be a tonic to feel you're getting a bit of your old self back.

Tiger I really feel for you with the insane work / IVF balancing act & lying your way out of meetings. Hoping the jabs & bum bullets all go well.

Pea hoping you're doing all right.

OP posts:
RobberBride · 01/10/2016 18:19

Banana your consultant sounds excellent, and the plan seems rock solid. Out of interest, if all goes to plan, when would your next cycle be?

I'm really glad you've got a good work project starting; as much as sometimes I've found it hard to care about work in the last few years of infertility, it has also been a distraction and kept me sane. I hope you survive the due date anniversary in the best way possible (I'm not sure how to write that, but hopefully you get my gist) - I'll be thinking of you Flowers.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/10/2016 19:18

Your consultant sounds really good

I've had 2 mock fet /era

Scanned day 13 then day 20 I had the era - like a transfer /smear and just scrape lining

They found on mine that I needed an extra 12hrs of progesterone

A fef for those who don't know is usually done over 20 days

Day 1 period. Start progynova on day 2 clinic give you dosage I was 4mg for 3 days then 6 for rest of cycle. On day 12/13 you get scanned to check lining and then if looking good - anything over 8mm you then start pesseries till do transfer on day 20

The era showed that my lining tho thick at 11mm wasn't receptive for another 12hrs

Tho cycle 4 failed and we did another era and results the same but on cycle 5 as we were on holiday and couldn't fly back to do transfer my clinic decided to keep me on progynova and we actually transfered on day 30 so I had an extra 10days medication

They said if lining too thick they would cancel the fet but when got scanned on day 23 they said perfect and transfer a week later

This was the one cycle that worked. I will never know if it was the extra weeks drugs that made bubs stick - now 13w

Or that's how fets/era worked on me - assume 20days for all

LHReturns · 01/10/2016 21:33

PeaOp thinking of you this evening - have you turned to booze yet? And if yes, I hope it has helped.

Blondes that is fascinating the way all that works - I didn't know any of that. What a process to refine and refine again, and look where you are now!

Banana, it is so good to see you back. As Bip says - you certainly have a plan. And it sounds a good one. Everyone I know with copper coils have very heavy periods (and specifically they all say the coil made them that way, they weren't heavy before). I hope your coil gives you the same (note that I have never wished anyone a heavy period before).

Your consultant sounds absolutely fantastic - I just have this feeling that between you and him you are going to get there. And when you do what a spectacular baby it will be.

Many many congratulations on your new job - sounds ideal to give you a renewed and fresh focus, even if it is tough at first to reprioritise. (Although I was secretly hoping you might start writing Everything You Need To Know About Your Uterus'.)

Happy weekend to everyone. I am still here blobbed out in front of the Ryder Cup.

Blueroses99 · 01/10/2016 22:10

Banana I know you've been through a lot. Echo what others have said about your consultant, sounds like he is going the extra mile and putting a robust plan in place. I agree that using HRT and contraception to kickstart pregnancy is strangely ironic. The new project sounds exciting, good luck

bananafish81 · 01/10/2016 22:28

Right enough of the me me me, - proper reply to you lovely lot

Robber FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC news, this is a bloody marvellous first step. This thread needs people to be on the good side of the stats, long may this continue

Pea no words, just love and hugs, hope you and Mr Pea can be kind to yourselves. It’s just pure unadulterated shit. Wallow, cry, drink all the wine, eat all the chocolate - possible maybe not Potatoes’ patented cocaine for morning sickness remedy, but, y’know. Those two beautiful frosties will be waiting for you, and

Blue I’m so very very sorry for the loss of your son, I can only imagine the devastation you and your partner have been through. So very sorry that you find yourself here, but you are most welcome: it’s a tremendous support of likeminded women who’ve been through (and are going through) torrents of shit in their fertility ‘journey’ (vomworthy expression I know) with tremendous grace and a fuckton of humour

tiger so glad you’re able to get on with things, I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with the clinic’s nutty schedule and work juggling and lack of support from DH, you have every right to be more than pissed off! So so sorry you have such shitty timing for ET, I’m really hoping that the month takes a much better turn with some happy news in a couple of weeks time.

Potatoes hope you’re having a restful weekend and so glad THE DAY is now over and done with, hope so very much that this time next year you have reason to celebrate

Blondes so sorry you are feeling so unwell but hope you are having a nice holiday. I’m sorry you had such a poor experience with your UK clinics, and had a better experience abroad - I think there are good clinics and bad clinics everywhere and it’s a case by case basis. I have had superlative care and know others who have had top notch care in the UK, and likewise very poor care overseas: think it’s hard to generalise and just important to choose a clinic you have researched well and trust

LH DH and I are absolutely gripped by the Ryder cup, so you’re in good company

Bip hope you are settled into the new place - and got the floors done? Are the cats back with you?

In answer to the dummy FET question, my experience isn’t quite as regimented as Blondes - my Dr doesn’t plan FET cycles according to specific cycle days, the timing will vary from patient to patient, depending on their response to endometrial stimulation. The number of days of oestrogen stimulation - plus the dose and type of administration (pills and / or patches) - will vary depending on the individual, Some people’s lining will thicken more rapidly than others - so some will need a higher dose, or more days, or patches added in. My Dr also scans much earlier than Day 12, to monitor development earlier, and adjust the oestrogen stimulation as needed. So ET at 20 days might be for some - some will be less, some will be more. There’s no template for a FET - just as there’s no template for a fresh. In a fresh, you trigger when the follicles are optimal - same with a FET, except you have even more flexibility because you can keep stimulating the endometrium for longer (vs ovarian stimulation where follicles can over mature)

For someone like me with problematic lining (although we hope that post-IUD it will be more responsive), we might have included viagra pessaries from the outset - whereas others won’t need the ridiculously overpriced fanjo bullets. Someone like me who needs an additional boost may have a Neupogen wash on the day of initiation of progesterone - most others won’t. My Dr also uses a mixture of Progesterone pessaries and injections.

A dummy FET enables you to test out how the lining responds - and with the ERA the idea is that you do exactly the same protocol as you plan to do in the real cycle, to recreate the same conditions. The biopsy is taken a P+5 (5 days post initiation of progesterone) to identify if the lining is receptive, pre receptive or post receptive - i.e. when is the implantation window for that individual (and when should you therefore transfer to have the best chance of successful implantation)

www.igenomix.com/tests/endometrial-receptivity-test-era/

In my case I didn’t respond to a medicated FET, nor an ovulation induction FET, but we’re hoping my response to oestrogen will be better after several HRT cycles and a couple of months on the coil. We might try a Tamoxifen cycle for a dummy FET as an alternative - which would involve triggering ovulation, so again, completely different to a standard medicated FET.

Robber - honestly don’t know when a FET might be. Really depends on how the next few cycles go. If we can get me bleeding consistently. If we can get my lining to respond. Depends what the biopsies show in the dummy cycle(s). Don’t know how many cycles it could take to tinker with the formula - sadly no crystal ball!! Oh to be a straightforward case...

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/10/2016 23:21

You explain it much better banana :)

On the fet threads I've been on most transfers are on day 20 tho Obv depends on lining issues

I hope the era will show something for you the way it did mine

Agree all clinics are different and their methods and you have to find one you trust

As said previously your consultant sounds great and very supportive and fab he can do the operation so can check which parts of you need extra tlc

RobberBride · 02/10/2016 14:03

Pea how are you feeling today?

Banana good luck for tomorrow.

Tiger how's your Olympic drugs regime going?

Wave to everyone else.

PeaOp · 02/10/2016 15:45

Hi guys, I'm doing ok thanks. I think I just really didn't expect it to work at all so to even get to transfer was amazing. Tbh I was more upset before testing than after I was proved right. Just have to get through blood test and a few hours at work before calling for the final results tomorrow afternoon. Dinner may change to rare steak with Brie or something...