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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Failure stories

949 replies

BipBippadotta · 09/07/2016 13:08

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

OP posts:
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19
BipBippadotta · 02/09/2016 15:53

Hey - Robber I'm sorry you're stuck in a neverending stims cycle. Are they giving you LH as well as FSH injections? That seemed to make the difference in getting my slow-growers moving. I really wouldn't have thought there was much chance of straggling follicles all going off at once - in my injectables cycles the only follicles that ever matured were the ones that were in the lead from the outset - I always had about 10 that never made it to 10mm. Really hope things get going again, you must be very pissed off with all the stabbing. I've forgotten, are you NHS? They seem to make it their singleminded mission to avoid the remotest possibility of a twin pregnancy. It's annoying, when you consider that even in double embryo IVF transfers (where you can already be certain sperm has met egg, egg has fertilised, embryo has developed - twice over) the least likely outcome by a very long shot is a twin pregnancy. Fucking frustrating, and I hope things pick up.

Banana great news on lining! And great socks. Best of luck for a good transfer!

Wildflower I do like the idea of being squirted with special shamanic fertility fluid (fnar fnar). Very sorry to hear about the outcome of the last cycle though. 7 cycles... That's got to have taken in out of you. Glad to hear you're getting the beers in.

Not much to report here. Queasy and have acne that makes me feel 14 again - and not in a good way. It's like someone has written a novel in Braille across my face. Scan & Panorama test in just over 2 weeks if I make it that far. Not taking progesterone this time so I'm hoping that means things won't drag on too much longer if it's not working out.

Quite a bit of marital discord at the moment - DH gets ratty with me any time I mention the pregnancy, so we just don't talk about it at all & I'm feeling quite alone with it. I think we've both run out of the capacity to deal with one another's fear and sadness on top of our own, and it makes us insular. Humph.
Not long until the weekend now I guess.

OP posts:
monkeytree · 02/09/2016 22:05

Hi Bip

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Both you and your dh have been through so much it's bound to create tension, I hope you are getting through the days O.K. You've given so much comfort to so many ladies, I'm sure there are many others wishing you the very best. I can understand your fear levels must be through the roof and can fully understand why you feel insular, not too many words of wisdom I'm afraid and don't want to bother typing any silly cliches. Take care of yourself x

BipBippadotta · 04/09/2016 09:59

Thanks, Monkeytree. Good to hear from you and I hope you're doing OK.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 04/09/2016 16:14

Just caught up

Bananafish yah for your very special fanjo tablets wow @ £100 a day. Rem my ivf injections cost a bit more then that a day but ouch at extra costs

Hope they work. Seems lining is getting thicker

Bip. Hope all ok with you x

bananafish81 · 04/09/2016 17:43

bip thinking of you. This whole journey puts a strain on any relationship, and Christ knows you guys have weathered some hellishly stormy times. What you said about being insular resonates so much - for our own sanity over the last year DH and I have found ourselves retreating to separate corners of the house, because we need to just try and deal with shit in our own way, and frustrations can easily boil over with us sniping at each other. That, and we just have no chat any more. I have fuck all to say that isn't about IVF or infertility or miscarriage - because that's literally all that's going on in our lives. We've become hermits hiding away from friends, and tbh often just giving ourselves some space from each other. Thank fuck for the Olympics as that gave us something to talk about. Big unmumsnetty hugs.

Hope the queasiness eases and have everything crossed for Panorama.

blondes yep those fanjo bullets ought to have been made from unicorn tears. Won't know whether they actually did make any difference to the lining or not: consultant checked blood flow again and said it was looking terrific, but then again it's always looked decent. Tbh at this point its value is as much in knowing we've thrown everything we possibly could at this cycle, and so whatever the outcome, can't say there was more we could / should have tried

robber how are you doing? Thinking of you (and your follicles). Would they consider converting from ovulation induction to IVF (in a subsequent cycle, if not this one) if you were over responding?

Welcome bloop!

wild I checked out the IVF socks you mentioned, omfg so twee. Socks with PUPO on them. . The lemony uplifting liquid the shaman sprayed over you certainly sounds rather more fragrant than the mental image your anecdote originally conquered up! Wink

potatoes good luck with operation non-meat-free Monday!

Had EC yesterday - although they classed it as a 'cyst aspiration' as we weren't using the eggs for treatment. Can't remember exactly how many follicles the Dr told me he'd aspirated, as I was still off my tits on sedation, but good news is it wasn't too many - as the whole point was to stim me just enough to grow my lining, not for my ovaries to go off like rockets and risk OHSS. Although it does show how variable response is from cycle to cycle - I used a lower overall dose in May and got a whopping haul, this time I actually stayed on 150iu for longer, and responded much more modestly (Dr said if we'd been doing IVF he'd have upped my stims). Only 3 months apart, very different responses. Bodies, eh?

Can't believe that was my fourth egg collection in 11 months.

Think the plan is to do a final lining check on Weds - but hopefully all being well FET will be on Thu

Made the mistake of looking at timings for this cycle, and they’re so hilariously awful, you couldn’t make it up. If this one takes, then viability scan would be around the time of my due date from the last one. And if I got that far, 10w - when we lost the last one - would be on my bday exactly. Now envisaging a miscarriage as a 35th birthday present. Urgh.

RobberBride · 04/09/2016 20:06

Bip I've had everything crossed for you. I think the marital discord is fairly typical for any couple going through infertility, but times a million for someone in your situation who has been through what you've been through. I think you and your DH will be fine.

Wildflowers how are you doing?

Banana that's fantastic news. Cannot believe all you and your poor body have survived this year! As you say, it is so weird how bodies respond cycle to cycle. If the FET is Thursday when will OTD be? Will you take progesterone after the FET?

Wave to all others.

To answer your question, I'm (luckily) NHS but they have very rigid ways of doing things in my CCG, I don't think there's the option of conversion. But good news! After ridiculously slow growth until stab 19 (an average of 0.25mm growth per day for the biggest follicle in the last week and a bit), I went for a scan on Saturday and it had grown over 5mm in 3 days. We triggered Sat night and are now in the middle of the shag schedule.

Question for everyone - how does the trigger make you feel? Last time I felt fine but this time I'm shattered, nauseous, and weak as a kitten. I guess because it followed more Menopur at a higher dose than last time?

BipBippadotta · 04/09/2016 22:34

I've had a trigger shot twice - first time was with IVF, and I didn't notice any side effects. Second time was some months later on a TI cycle, and I felt much like you describe: exhausted and very sick. Same doses of the trigger both times - and on my TI cycle I'd had a much lower dose of stims than with IVF. No idea why I felt different the second time. None of it makes any sense!

Great news on your big fat follicle & happy shagging! Always so romantic being on 48-hour medically enforced coital duty when all you want to do is sleep and puke after your trigger shot.

Banana got everything crossed for you for Thursday!

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bananafish81 · 04/09/2016 22:52

I remember feeling exhausted after my first trigger on a Clomid TI cycle (where there was next to no chance of conceiving because my lining wasn't even 5mm, so we were just told to have a go anyway, just in case of a miracle. If that isn't enough to get you in the mood for enforced regimented sex, I don't know what is...'

I've done 5 other triggers (4 for IVF and 1 for our cancelled ovulation induction FET) and the only other one I felt awful after was in cycle 3. However I was so uncomfortable with 28 eggs, I wasn't sure what was causing me to feel queasy - the trigger itself or just the effects of the trigger ripening the eggs with ovaries like large oranges

I didn't feel anything from the trigger in IVF cycles 1,2 and 4, nor last month's ovulation induction cycle. That's been everything from 75iu Gonal-F to 450iu a day - so not sure there is any rhyme or reason....

Amazing news on your follicle stepping up to the plate!!

Officially my Dr gives OTD as a ridiculously late 12dp5dt (ie 17 dpo). Bullshit does anyone wait that long. I caved and tested at 8dp5dt last time.

I started progesterone today - fanjo / bum bullet in the morning, and Lubion injection in the evening. Also started my prednisolone today, and will start Clexane and aspirin the day after ET

I've only got enough Lubion and prednisolone to last me till 9dp5dt - so I'm testing before we order any more meds! If it's BFN I'm going to ask for a blood test to confirm - not ordering more meds just to pee on more sticks.

LHReturns · 04/09/2016 23:00

Hi Banana! I'm so glad you are still feeling good - and you sound so positive which I am trying to catch from you. Sounds like yesterday was a great success.

So am I right that doing JUST Lubion is not an option - need to combine with Cyclogest as well? Not looking forward to progesterone (if we make it that far) - think I will go the bum route as fanjo route sounds even more messy.

Cetrotide has clearly kicked in as I am not in as much pain as yesterday. Scan tomorrow so will find out where we are.

QOD · 04/09/2016 23:02

I'm 47 and been with dh 31 yrs
Wasted entire rubber plantations for 6 yrs and not conceived since/once

Sex
More sex
Timed sex
Head stands after sex
Clomid for 6 months
4 X IUI under stimulated / over / under /over
Never got inseminated

2 yr wait for ivf which I did decline

Never so much as a faint bfp. I have the nipplez of a 14 yr old on a droopy pair of old lady tits

BipBippadotta · 05/09/2016 19:21

Gah, how frustrating to have all those un- finished IUIs, QOD! All those drugs and no spermination. What a galling waste. Seems like this stuff is just impossible to get right sometimes.

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QOD · 05/09/2016 19:34

Yep - the over stimms were right when that lady got pregnant with 8 babies - Mandy Allwood ? So cons threatened me with being refused any fertility treatment ever in the future if i so much as looked at a penis 🙄

RobberBride · 05/09/2016 22:45

Bip how's the move going? How are the cats?

Banana you must be rattling! I'm just on Pregnacare and pregnancy safe omega 3s at the moment. If when this round fails I'll get back on the other egg-nurturing stuff, but I don't like taking it during the 2WW. My clinic won't prescribe progesterone for a Menopur OI cycle, they think it is counter productive.

QOD I'm so sorry that must be immensely frustrating. What are you doing now, are you still trying?

DH and I have been following the shag schedule since Friday night (I had a feeling something was happening so we started then). After tomorrow night we are done. I know that's longer than they recommend but I'm paranoid about missing it. Ov pains were immense today, fortunately I had the office to myself so I didn't disturb anyone with my pathetic 'oof' noises whenever I got up or sat down.

RobberBride · 05/09/2016 22:47

I'm not sure why I emboldened DH, although I did bust him reading the gardening threads the other day, so he may well be hanging out here too Hi DH!

bananafish81 · 05/09/2016 23:04

QOD can only imagine the frustration. At the risk of sounding too Oprah,whereabouts are you in your journey?

robber great news about the ov - and that the end is in sight for the regimented shag schedule

Thank Christ for the app I use to keep track of all meds with alarms and ability to log doses etc

Thyroxine before breakfast
Prednisolone after breakfast
Lamotrigine (epilepsy) am and pm
Cyclogest am
Progynova three times a day
Lubion injection
Clexane and aspirin daily (pick a time)
Amitriptyline (nerve pain) before bed

If I get pregnant I have to add in metformin twice daily

Then there's the supplements - they all go in a pill organiser split into am and pm doses, plus the inofolic is a sachet. Have dropped quite a few for post ET, so now it's just
Prenatal
Prescription 5mg folic acid
Calcium & magnesium (for Clexane)
Omega 3
Iron
Vitamin D
Probiotic
Inofolic

Obvs I am ramping up the woo this week for transfer - going to see the mayan abdominal massage woman for a magic tummy rub, and will do the obligatory day-of-ET acupuncture. Because obvs the embryo will know I'm having needles stuck into me. But I can't not go because then I'll think 'what if'

Gah.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/09/2016 23:39

Wow banana

Do you rattle when you walk

That's a lot of tablets !!!

QOD · 06/09/2016 06:43

I got freakishly lucky and a friend offered to have a straight surrogate baby for me
She's 18 In December

tigerdog · 06/09/2016 07:13

Wowsers QOD! Amazing friend!

One of my friends has offered me her eggs. Really seriously, genuine offer. Thing is, we are from entirely different ethnic backgrounds, so the child would look nothing like me. Also not sure if I could get my head around it all.

robber what a relief to finally get to trigger. I suspect all that menopur is making you knackered. Good luck with the shagging!

bip how are you doing? I am thinking of you and tightly crossing everything.

banana tell me more about the magnesium and calcium for clexane? I have Fragmin in my protocol post transfer. Everything crossed for you getting to FET on Thursday!

Ah, the magic tummy rub! I wonder if I went to see the same person as you - I was working in your part of the world until April this year. Did she give you any herbs for vaginal steaming?! I had an Ayurvedic massage at a festival this weekend, it was lovely and relaxing.

At the moment, the thing I am trying is to not try too hard! FET soon, and for all other cycles I have had three months of proper health kick. This time around, I'm just being normal as I can be anyway and having fun. Not feeling too bad on the northisterone and starting the Burserelin tonight. Feels like it is taking a bloody age to get going.

BipBippadotta · 06/09/2016 13:28

Pretty flat here I'm afraid. It's hard being between homes with all this going on. Completion not until 13 Sept, so another week in limbo in every way. Cats doing Ok - one spends all her time wedged under a cupboard but the other two are fairly perky.

Nausea totally gone today - which is a relief but of course makes me certain it's all over. I've spent all day long on Mumsnet doling out advice and holding forth pompously on other people's dysfunctional families and marriages as a way of distracting myself.BlushI'm an emotional vampire. So sue me.

Well done with the shagging robber! Did you make any frittatas...?

Good luck with the cycle, tiger. And I've got everything crossed for you for Thurs, banana.

Wow, brilliant that you had a family in the end, QOD! The only people who have offered me eggs / surrogacy have been even older than I am, so a nice gesture rather than a serious thing to consider. Amazing stuff.

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QOD · 06/09/2016 17:29

Yep very lucly

I know what you mean about ethnicity. My friend decided to offer to have a baby for me as she fell pregnant, by a man she was in love with
He did not want said baby and told her she was on her own
She already had 6 yr old child and had been left by that father when she was 7 months pregnant 🙄

She didn't tell me she was pregnant until a long time later - she had a termination as she didn't want to do it alone, again, but had looked into seeing if she could give THAT baby away to me specifically
Sounds awful, but she couldn't for 2 reasons, 1 - she loved him. He broke her heart. She couldn't give up a 'love' child to someone else
2 - he was black. She couldn't sneakily claim it was a surrogate baby conceived with my white dh!

she wanted me to have the family I wanted and to be honest, she felt like it almost made up for her termination history
I'm a lucky lady, and I never asked, wasn't my idea ever - she said it in passing one day and then suddenly a year later said RIGHT!! I'm single. I'm not looking for a bloke, I'm having a year off, I'd like to have a baby for you

🐟 I had a goldfish face for a while I can tell ya

RobberBride · 06/09/2016 21:28

Done! Talk sense into me, if we triggered on Sat night there's no point in 'one for luck' tomorrow is there? I'm not sure either of us can cope with more regimented shagging.

No frittatas Bip, we wimped out. Your description of the cats made me laugh. Poor things, they hate moving even more than humans. I don't think the lack of nausea necessarily means anything. How many weeks are you now, about 7 and a bit? It might just be your body settling into it. Not long til the panorama at least, though I hope your house hurries up to distract you. Distracting yourself on Mumsnet is entirely justifiable. I spend my spare time doling out advice on style and beauty, if you could see me you'd understand how laughable this is.

Banana GOOD LUCK for Thursday! Hope you've selected your socks...? How are you and your DH feeling - nervous?

Tiger glad the evil norethisterone is ok this time. I don't know much about IVF - one you start on Burserelin, what next?

QOD what an amazing friend. I thought my friends were nice by listening to me bitch about the various side effects of various drugs! How does surrogacy work in the UK?

Quick question - do you exercise in 2WW? I've got a light yoga class booked tomorrow night and a light pilates Thursday, the kind where you don't even break a sweat. I haven't done any other exercise all week apart from a lazy short bike ride at the weekend. Reckon it is ok?

QOD · 06/09/2016 21:54

Under the human embryology act of 1984 we were able to have dd recognised as a 'child of our marriage '
As dh is her birth father, we were granted a parental order which recognises her as my dd and his. We have 2 birth certs, standard and then a long one with me and dh on it

Legally you can pay up to £10 000 toward expenses but we paid out under £2000 for pure expenses. Ie holiday care for her child, lovely and lots of maternity clothes, food etc etc. Plus of course 10% of her salary for 6 weeks and travel to her parents and back
We are truly feckin lucky

tigerdog · 06/09/2016 21:57

That sounds fine to me robber. I exercise lightly in the 2ww on a normal cycle - I don't stop yoga and I might also do Pilates or weights. I have stopped when stimming for IVF as there are risks when the ovaries are swollen, so I've not exercised for the 2ww post IVF. Not sure what I'll do following the FET though, you've got me thinking...

This one is a frozen cycle with two embryos from my last one to use up. I'm in for the scratch on Thursday, expecting my period next week, then scans to check all ok, adding in estrogen and then transfer in a few weeks.

Ah bip limbo sounds frustrating, time must be passing so slowly...poor old cats too! I just roam mumsnet telling anyone who posts asking about dog breeds to get a greyhound. Mad dog lady.

QOD that is an amazing story!

BipBippadotta · 07/09/2016 08:56

I exercised throughout all my 2WWs. If I'd given up exercising for half of every month, I'd have been chucked out of my Pilates class for poor attendance, and places in that class were like gold dust!

The only thing I was advised to avoid is anything twisty (so pilates, yoga, sit-ups etc) when you're doing stims, as there's a risk of ovarian torsion. And then if you get a BFP they say to lay off yoga in the first trimester - which is mainly to avoid puking whilst upside down, rather than anything more sinister.

Thinking of you, Banana and hoping all's well!

Robber I think you've got your bases covered by now if you triggered on Sat. But there's nothing to stop you if you fancy a little victory lap just for fun, of course.

I've effortlessly had a poo two days in a row now, which makes me think I'm reaching the end of the road. Again. Have been thinking about going for an earlier scan just so I can have it all dealt with calmly under anaesthetic rather than being taken by surprise somewhere inconvenient, which is my worst nightmare. My ERPC lady is always able to fit me in in 1-2 days. This could all be over by Friday if I got a scan today. I could have the weekend to recover, and toast the new house with champagne, and turn over a new leaf in my new home without having any loss or horror or heartbreak associated with it. It is tempting. I just don't know what to do.

Dh wants to wait until Panorama, which isn't for another 2 weeks (I'm 7 + 4 now). But then DH just wants to pretend none of this is happening. And I'm certain I'll have started to miscarry naturally by then. Argh.

I am never, never, never TTC again after this. As soon as this is over I'm going to book my fucking tummy tuck and c section scar removal and pretend this was all a bad dream.

OP posts:
tigerdog · 07/09/2016 09:30

If it were me, I would go for the scan bip, but that's because I can't do denial or burying my head in the sand, and instead I worry away until I have that hollow sick feeling all day every day. Anxious, much?!

Of course I am hoping like hell that it will bring good news for you. Universe - sort it out please!