BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Hi!

Looking for some IVF advice again! The pre-droid spotting started today so I reckon it will properly get started on Monday, would start stabbing on Tuesday.

I went to the pharmacy to find out when do I need to order the Gonal (worried that the droid would somehow start tomorrow -I am away for the day- and I would need the drugs on a Sunday. In Spain). So anyway, the pharmacist was super nice, she mentioned she has gone through it herself and not to worry about the injections etc... but she seemed a bit surprised that I don't go for my first scan/blood until CD 7. By then I would have stabbed 5 times (because I would have my check up in the morning, stab due in the evening).

It seemed fine to me but now I am worried - does this sound normal to you? I mentioned to the gyno that on my previous clinic (where I ended not having treatment), they said they do a check up on CD2 to make sure it's a good month. He said they have enough info on me, and got checked up last week so it was not necessary. So what if I get started and it is a bad month? What do you think?

Sounds normal to me, I'm pretty sure that's when my scan was (I had two in total, one in uk and one a day or so before egg collection)

I had to go in for a baseline scan on the last two, but that was because I had been downregging so they had to check it was all ready. On short protocol I can't remember when my first scan was but it wouldn't concern me if it wasn't until a few days after stabbing, until you start stabbing there's not much they're looking at.

Thanks Blue and Barking - as you can tell, I am already being very relaxed about this

Erica - I was completely nutty but a bunch of ladies on fertility friends were cycling at my clinic at the same time so they asked all the questions and I just got to sit back and look relatively cool

Yeah I think the early scan might be important for long protocol. On my short I didn't get scanned till maybe day 7ish to see how the follies were developing and if my dose needed adjusting (they increased it at my second scan, day 10ish) I had 3 in total I think...

Spot... spot... but not proper droid!

This is sooo annoying! I have the drugs at home, I have warned everyone that needs to know that I will need to leave work for doctor appointments, arrange social life around stabbing time and that I may be generally a bit mental in the next few weeks.... where is the fucking droid?

And how is everyone else doing?

Feeling quite upset/pissed off...need to vent.

Just to set the scene...I don't have many relatives. This aunt I have is one of the few people that know we can't have kids. Her son (my cousin) just had his first baby. My brother died in May. My dad died 5 years ago. My mum died 8 years ago. I got one email when my brother died. Now all I get is emails of photos of cousin with his baby titled Father and Son and then all this guff about how great a father cousin is and wonderful being a grandmother.nothing about brother, how you doing, etc. I would have thought she would have reigned that shit in, realised there won't be a Father and Son situation for our side of the family, and may not be for husband and I, and no grandmother if there was...or at least asked if I'm ok. Feeling very angry and teary at the same time. Am I being overly sensitive? I know she's not a mind reader, but still, pick your audience.

Place You are not being remotely oversensitive, they are being very thoughtless. I am so sorry for you losses, that is terrible.

Even though to an extent I can understand people becoming a bit self centred in their happiness, I don't think it is an excuse to be so selfish, specially when your brother passed away so, so recently.

Maybe telling them how you feel would help, personally, I probably would have to detach and disengage for now and surround myself with people that can show me some consideration. And vent here, of course.

Place - I'm so sorry to hear this. I think she is being horribly insensitive and I honestly don't know how you are managing with it. I would probably tell her but then I'm not good at hiding how I feel. She absolutely should be asking how you are.

I know I'm not here that much now but do feel free to talk about your losses here if you want to (mine don't compare but my dad died at xmas last year) I think fertility problems are made even harder when we have previous family losses. Vent here, we will be there

That is how I deal with her usually, just keep a bit of distance. And although being up front about how I don't need photos and captions atm would put a stop to it, I also don't need the drama that would probably result. I just replied "very nice" I hope that's passive aggressive enough even for her... Thank you besh...sometimes it just helps to say it to strangers on the Internet xxx

Blue, I'm sorry about your dad x I agree it does make fertility issues harder.

Erica, the droid is a bitch.

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Loved ones passing away is hard enough to deal with without other people shoving unhelpful and unsympathetic pictures in your face. Take lots of care of yourselves.

Any sign Erica?

Nope... this delay is going to fuck up with my mind and my summer plans... it needs to be here before Friday yes o yes.

How are you, Place?

Sorry pressed enter too soon. I lost my mum in between mc-s and completely messed up with my head. I agree with the others that it makes infertility even harder.

Erica, the body is meant to fuck with you, surely?!? fingers crossed

We've got our implications appt on Thursday to get given doses and be taught how to inject etc with a view to start the stabbing in early August. I'm quite nervous but my OH thinks I'm being stupid because it's just a another fact finding/learning session, just another step etc. I know he's right but I can't help myself! I think it's because I'm nervous of being so invested in the process and then it not working. I know how to deal with the monthly disappointment but this is going to be something else. I know that sounds crazy but hey ho

SoSam I think it is completely normal. I feel this is the last resort (maybe not this cycle but this particular resource) and we are investing way more, emotionally and financially, than just having sex at "right time" every month.

I have had nightmare about dropping the medicines, breaking the syringes, basically, fucking up the whole thing!

I think the partners try to be a bit more rational, to encourage us to see the whole process less emotionally (mine does at least)... but then they don't have to go through the whole injection stuff, I guess.

I know you did Erica...that must have been incredibly devastating.

SoSam, I think I'll be starting around the same time as you, are you doing a down reg or short protocol? I think I start down regging mid August. We can be lunatics together. Erica you can lead the way. Are there any lurkers out there about to start? Now's the time to pipe up.

Thanks, at least I'll be in good company. Is it bad that I'm not sure which one I'm doing? It's not something the consultant specifically discussed. I've got pcos so I know they are worried about over stimulation but past that I'm not sure. Really hoping Thursday answers all of the questions I keep coming up with!

I know OH is trying to help by down playing it but.... not always helpful. Bless him .

Morning!

Got a BFP this morning... I am in total shock and bricking it. Waiting for the consultant to call me back so we make a plan (I am expecting Clexane, aspirin, progesterone and a miracle, if available).

At least the spotting completely stopped on Sunday night so hopefully it was implantation and not a sign that I am also losing this one....

Wow! Bloody hell Erica, I was expecting the arrival of the droid not a BFP. I genuinely have everything crossed for you and praying for a sticky one. Come on little one, snuggle in tight

THAAAAANKS Blue! I am going to try and take this one as "bonus try", if it does not work, we will got straight back to IVF and avoid TTC in the meantime...

I just can't believe it though. I am scared of testing again in case the BFP was a mistake... I feel like a fraud, if that makes sense?

I think the whole thing is bound to be confusing and terrifying lovely Hag, I don't really see much of an alternative (hell, my journey has been relatively straight forward and I've not found it easy!)

Wow, that's a complete shock! youre the ironodiff! What an awesome surprise to wake up to...get onto those support meds. I have everything crossed for you!

Wow, amazing news, everything's crossed for you