BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Raaah. Was leaving my house to go to hospital for blood test, feeling a little tense, and random man told me 'You never smile'.
Me: What?
Him: I see you round here all the time, you're always like this

I absolutely let rip - told him he had no right to say that to me, no idea what's going on in my life, would he say that to a man etc. He apologised but was still v v patronising. Dickface.

Don't mess with a hag

Fuck him! Fuck him in his fucking cunt arse.

I'm on another IVF forum and there's this one 20 something girl who does my fucking head in. She's gotten pregnant off of her second transfer and she's moaning on about how it's been such a very long journey. I've been waiting for a chance such as this to embrace my steroid rage. I have not minced words. In fact I'm loving it. Fuck her too. Bitch.

Sorry for pointless post, but thought the hags might be proud of me.

I've now crashed and feel utterly depressed and ashamed of myself :(

Don't feel too bad Place. We all have those feelings sometimes - as I just demonstrated! - and you have a right to feel angry at the world after everything you've been through. Plus you're on a cocktail of mood-altering drugs! If you went over the top with this woman I'm sure you can drop her a line, say so and move on. Or not, if you don't want to. Main thing is to take care of yourself. Deep breaths

Decaf, I had an FET too but an elective one - we took part in a trial to see if it helps non-high-responders ie those with normal/low AMH. January must feel like an age away but hopefully it will be well worth it.

PS blood test confirmed positive result. V pleased and relieved. Hope everyone else is OK.

It's ok to feel however you feel place. There are triggers everywhere and after everything that we've all been through, 'normal' reactions can't be expected.

Rebecca that's such great news, I'm so thrilled for you

Rebecca, super congratulations. Enjoy this!

Well on a happy note, my posts caused the administrator to get involved and after a review she politely told the other person off for being an insensitive git. Fully redeemed!! Hurray for me

Yay Rebecca, awesome news xx

This, I'm so intrigued I'd love to be nosey and read your rant post

Yay Rebecca That's great news! Do you know what your beta number was? Do you have another one booked? So pleased for you!
Rebecca What an arse that guy was. I hope he walking away feeling thoroughly embarrassed with himself.

Sam Congratulations! So glad that things seem to be progressing well. What's the next step for you? Do you have another scan booked?

Place pleeeease spill the name of this thread you are talking about. I've done some digging but just can't work it out- I'm intrigued too. Don't feel ashamed- we all completely get it x
This 2ww is already driving me slowly nuts. How about you?

Erica so sorry about your Sister. I've had similar comments from work colleagues and it hurts a lot. They have no idea. But when it's your family it's just so awful

It's an overseas thread and the administrator deleted all confrontational posts between her and I and replaced it with a lecture stating that a long time to someone can be seen very differently by others that have been in it far longer and that they shouldn't be posting in a 2ww specific ttc thread if they are pregnant and if they are going to they should definitely not be including signatures that have due dates and should be very mindful of what they're saying etc....these were all of the issues I had "politely" raised with other poster, lol. After that I did apologise for being so harsh but remained firm on my points.
I actually don't ,ind pregnant people posting in ttc threads because mostly they have done very hard yards and are really supportive and sensitive about it all. This person has been overstepping the mark for mooooonths! I don't want anyone here pregnant or otherwise to think this is directed at all at them. It was very specific to her!

This, sounds like you said and did the right thing to me, well said x

this sounds like your anger was well directed and justified! And rebecca too! Where do people get off saying stupid things like cheer up? Next person who tells me that might be treated to an in depth discription of my current post cycle AF in all its gory (and oh yeah it's gory) details! Oh and maybe add in my stress induced insomnia & nightmares!
rebecca if you don't mind me asking, how long did you have to wait for elective FET? i was suspected to be borderline PCOS & so high responder, but only got 7 eggs and 2 fertilised in the end, which isn't a massive number. Now one of the many things I am stressing about is whether I should have gone for fresh instead.
Plus DH is pushing me to organise celebratory lunch for SIL. In his words 'she is a self entered c* but still my sister' aargh!

Hi Decaf, we were lucky in that it was relatively quick - had egg collection in July, then started drugs/scans after Sept AF, and actual transfer was 4 Oct. I'm sorry you're having such a long wait - are you NHS? It must be so frustrating to think you could have done fresh. But it could still be beneficial? Anecdotally FETs seem to be good for many people. It sucks to wait though.

Oh, and your DH is welcome to organise and cook for that lunch all by himself!

Happy Tuesday everyone if there is such a thing ...

Thanks hags! Sorry to derail thread with petty bullshit...

Decaf, Rebecca is right on the money. Your husband should be getting busy with all of that lunch planning. Or you could serve oysters and sake? Brie and wine? Or just shots of rum? That's one celebratory lunch I'd go to At least he has his terminology correct.

Are you keeping sane rose? I'm certainly not. I like to think I've got a pretty decent handle on things most of the time, but I'm a basket case atm. The last few days I have been having very strong pains. Dull aches as well as brief very sharp pains. I know it's just my ovaries recovering, but this morning, nothing. Nada, zero. Plus constipation has eased up (which has only happened in failed cycles) no bloating etc. Having a stark reality check about how unlikely this round is to work given the fact we really shouldn't have had anything transfer. Plus the embryos weren't ideal at 2 and 7 cell. I'm grateful we are in a 2ww, but I need to keep my feet firmly on the ground and start planning for the next cycle.

How is everyone else? I know there are a few gearing up for a cycle.I'm hoping the bfps keep coming for the rest of what's left of the year.

Thanks rebecca. Yes it's NHS. We get one cycle on nhs, for which I am grateful, even if the wait feels unbearable.
this I love your menu, you gave me a much needed laugh!
I won't be posting much for a little while, nothing much will be happening for me for the next couple of months. But I will be checking in to see how you all are doing, hope there is a run of good news for all!

Place if it's any consolation I had zero symptoms - and still don't. But I know what it's like; you don't want to hope as it's too painful. Only a week to go. Hang on by those fingernails. You can do it. Distraction is the name of the game - have you got any good box sets/computer games? Everything crossed for you and Rose.

Rose yes I got the beta results - the number was over 800 which was way higher than I was expecting! So that was very reassuring. I'm meant to be having a scan in about 2.5 weeks but we're away for the first two weeks of November. I figure, if it's bad news at the scan, at least we can enjoy our holiday before hand provided I don't start bleeding in a hotel room. We're going to the States so we don't have to worry about language barriers/food poisoning (or at least not more than usually). I'm feeling weirdly calm. If something is going to go wrong, it'll go wrong no matter what I do, so may as well enjoy it while it lasts. I hope people don't mind me writing about this. I'm going to lurk here for a little while cheering you all on if that's OK.

Good luck with the waiting decaf.

.

So I'm 7dp2dt and did a test this morning because it's my birthday and I'm a masochist...never seen a test so starkers white! Happy birthday to me! Lol. Not really disappointed as can't truly expect and an accurate result at this stage. I am feeling old though., officially late 30s at 38!

Happy birthday place but it is way too soon! Don't torture yourself x

Happy birthday This, like Bluerose said, it's way too early, there's still hope x

Place Sorry for your BFN on your Birthday, but the equivalent of 9dpo is just too early (as you know!) There is still plenty of hope...just give it a little more time.
Did you do anything nice for your Birthday last night? Or any nice plans for this wkend?

Rebecca That's a fab beta. I always use Betabase as a guide and according to that- you have a great number there! Are you having a second beta too?

AFM- I tested on Thursday at 7dp6dt and got a BFP. It was a definite line on a FRER. This morn (9dp6dt) I've done another and it's considerably darker so we are pleased with that although still very cautious. We have been here twice before.
We leave for a city break in Poland today but have my betas booked for once we get back on Thurs.

Rose! That's such great news!! I am (cautiously) very happy for you. I know you've been here before. But it's a good start. Best of luck for beta. No second beta for me - it's NHS so just off you go, see you in a few weeks ...

Place, Happy Birthday for yesterday! Hope you did something nice. Sorry about the negative test but it is, as others have said, a tad early ...

Hope everyone else is ok. Erica did you OV? Everything behaving?
Blueroses how is the downregging going?
Jen and Sam hope you're keeping sane. Jen you must be almost 12 weeks by now?

Congratulations rose!!

Lovely news Rose!

Rebecca hope the first scan comes around quickly.

Place hope you had a nice birthday and can hold on for another few days to poas.

AFM I'm feeling the effects of down regging, constantly thirsty, my lips are chapped and my skin is so dry! I had my scratch yesterday, which was fine (I found the speculum more painful than the actual procedure). Going back in next Thursday to find out whether I can start stimming.

Morning hags.

Blue, I'm glad your scratch wasn't too excruciating. I nearly jumped off the bed for mine. At least it's quick though, huh. Fx this does good things for you.

How you feeling rose? My birthday was nice. Mr place baked me a cake (so yum!) and we went out for a walk by the sea and for a meal, but I had cramps so painful we had to just eat and go home. I couldn't even speak!

Feeling v v low today. Bfn and started spotting pinky red with tiny red spots. Exactly the same time as I spotted on failed cycles. Didn't spot on my bfp cycle. Also cramps have now changed from ooo interesting, to just plain awful droid pressure. I don't need any false hope, I feel it's too late for all of that implantation bleeding nonsense (I'm about 10 or 11 dpo), just appreciate a place to whinge and feel sorry for myself. Sorry.

So sorry to hear that Place. Nothing anyone can say can make it any better, it's just really hard. Thinking of you.